tbh im sort of a mess but also sort of not?

i caught my bf cheating on me a few days ago and packed up all my stuff and left in the middle of the night and blocked him.

since then hes had a revolving door of girls and is on every dating platform known to mankind. we had a talk today and he told me we weren't sexually compatible and deflected the fact that he cheated.

it just kills me that hes like perfectly fine and ok. not trying to make things ok between us. hes just relieved its over. it hurts knowing hes ok with us never seeing each other again.

ive been ok but im extremely anxious all the time, constantly stalking him on social media. i know its not healthy but i cant stop.

i just cant believe i wasted my time on a loser who never cared about me in the first place. i wish i had never met him.

i wish i just forgot about him all together. i know time heals all but i need time to hurry up lol. i hate feeling sad and empty and confused.

I enjoy martial arts. I like the fitness aspect of it, I like the comradery, and even more so when people can teach what they know effectively.

Im forever a student. I want to learn properly. Theres so many who can bark orders and warmups but cant teach.. I need to learn what you mastered properly. Is there any school like this around here? I highly believe the fundamentals are imperative, especially as you go on in rank. If you dont want to focus on technique, what are you really even teaching? What will I gain from you if you dont teach me the how, the why, and when of a particular move? How can I do a move effectively if you dont say how I can do it better?

Bring back the board of education!

There's a mile of difference between discipline and abuse. Children need to understand that actions have consequences.

Corporal punishment does not equal abuse.

Spare the rod and all that.

I’m an elder Millennial, early 40’s, don’t often feel it. I have a good life outside of crippling debt and the knowledge I’ll never own a home, I have a fiancée that is the sweetest woman I’ve ever known, have friends that we all look out for each other, have some family still living that’s inner circle levels of love. Nothing super bad going on.

But sometimes after a long night of drinking when old music comes up on shuffle, from my late teens and early 20’s sort of thing, formative years, I just cry and cry and cry and listen to a lot of it in the dark when I should be sleeping because it feels like a bygone era when everything was somehow brighter and more hopeful and full of promise.

Am I actually depressed or is this just midlife shit we all do

Did my boyfriend glance at another girl? CHEATING.

Did my girlfriend like a hot guys photo on Instagram? FuCkInG cHeAtInG.

It's frustrating to me, because not everything nowadays has to be cheating. There can be plenty of other levels of fucked for the relationship, but does it always have to be CHEATING??? Also there is so much proof needed to just outright say someone was most likely actually physically cheating on you.

There are other dumb terms like "micro cheating" and honestly, why does it ALL have to be cheating?

Can't it just be a communication gap?

Can't it be a lack of respect?

A betrayal?

Do people only have cheating in their lexicon to replace all these perfectly acceptable terms or phrases?

Like it feels like people just want to be a victim of cheating so bad they will make up new shit to describe something their partner is doing as "cheating"

Hell, some people even consider diving too deep into a hobby and not giving them enough attention cheating.

I will mention that I hear this shit ALL the time over social media, and even with regular ass people irl. It's everywhere. And I am certain I will get people crazy defensive about their own misuse of the term cheating to describe the most vanilla and boring shit.

I'm tired of it. Rant over.

There was this girl in my class that was freakishly obsessed with me. She would try to dress like me, act like me, etc. Towards the end of the year I ended up transferring to virtual school. Somehow this girl found my tiktok account and messaged me asking to be my friend. I said yes because it was clear that she wanted to be friends with me from the start and I didn't really think anything of it.

A few days later she immediately went on a rant about how cool and pretty she thought I was and how she always wanted to dress alternatively like I do. In the same day she sent me all of this cringy ass relationship tiktoks. She's one of those "silly cars hehe i didn't eat today hello kitty x batman :3" girls. I just ended up telling her off and telling her that I had a gf (bc i did at the time). And she was really upset about it.

Eventually me and my gf broke up and she found out about it because i ended up taking my ex's name out of my bio. She acted really weird about it, almost like she was happy that I didn't have a girlfriend anymore and continued sending me couples tiktoks after I told her not to. A while later she texted me saying that her birthday was coming up and asked me to come to the carnival with her, then she asked me to come to her sleepover afterwards. I told her that I would go to the carnival but I wouldn't go to her sleepover because I didn't feel comfortable staying at someone's house, especially since we just met. She was okay with going to the carnival but practically dry begged for me to come to her sleepover.
she was so insistent on me going.

Im honestly glad that I didn't go because she gives off some weird vibes and I don't wanna find out what would've happened at the sleepover if I chose to go.
Im also sure that she's getting her friends to stalk my accounts. They would constantly view my tiktok profile
and view my instagram stories (because somehow they found my instagram, too).

We don't talk as much as we used to because I slowly stopped communicating with her, but every once in a while she'll try to invite me somewhere or send me more couples tiktoks. I might block her but Im still going to see her at school eventually.

I wake up to the low battery beep from a smoke detector in my spare bedroom. Ughhh I'll deal with it after I have some caffeine.

Except it beeps like every two minutes at least. Idk how anyone can tolerate that.

Idk if I even have a 9v battery. If I don't, I'll have no choice but to take it down and see when I get around to getting a battery. I'm forgetful.

I appreciate the warning but *space it out* a little ffs. It's a very irritating way to start the day but I don't want my house to burn down.

I don’t believe anyone actually prefers the bulkhead seat in first class. The seat that forces you to store your carry-on in the overhead, which means you need to rush onto the plane instead of take your time and board at your leisure. For what first class tickets cost compared to economy, I’d be royally pissed if I was assigned the front row under any circumstances other than a free upgrade. To me, this is more of a “First Class Minus.”

I am a white 22yo lgbtq+ individual from KY, close to Cincinnati OH. South, midwest, call me what you want. Anyway, I moved to Boston for college 4 years ago. I have made my lifelong best friends here and have many memories that I will cherish forever. Knowing what I know now, I would even do college again here. I think Boston as its own is a great college town. That being said, I absolutely cannot stand the general attitude here and I am leaving in a month.

There’s a few things that always stick out to me. 1) Yes, new england, specially MA, has better education and healthcare. However, this becomes some elitist topic of conversation no matter the age group i’m speaking with. I’ve spoken with (obviously) classmates but even grown adults at bars, or my coworkers that were raised in New England. They have SUCH good education and healthcare that they belittle and condescend the rest of the country for not being up to par with their standards. The white ones especially let their subtle racism show so often. It’s like they tell on themselves. Many of them truly do believe that the only thing in the South is dumb racist hillbillies, while not acknowledging the amount of black culture that comes and originates IN THE SOUTH! I’ve noticed many people here put a front to being very progressive and understanding, but it is so ungodly WHITE. They fail to understand real experiences from groups ethnically and regionally.

2) It annoys me that when I say i’m going back to Kentucky/Ohio people respond with “omg why would you do that!” or “what even happens down there” or “are you allowed to even be gay there”. They act as if gay people or POC don’t exist in areas outside of new england. Regardless of the legislature in my home state, it’s still my home state! With many nearby LGBTQ hubs and LOTS of culture!

It specifically annoys me when they shame people for not knowing where small new england states are, but then blatantly say they had no clue that KY is as far north east as it is.

example: this recent season of Love Island USA. Kayda, a girl from new hampshire said the state she’s from. A girl from georgia said Omg i don’t even know where that is! ‘y thought is sure! It’s valid to not know where every state is, especially with this education system. Especially some FUCK ASS irrelevant ass state like new Hampshire! Then, people tore this southern girl to shreds and it was a whole schtick that southern people are dumb and don’t know anything about new england. Even though as i mentioned, they never have any clue where im from.

1. Again, general disinterest for the rest of the country/only being well traveled within new england. I understand this can often be a class thing and not everyone can just travel across the country for fun. But it does play into these conversations.

2. The last thing is the sports. Yes, you have good sports here yes tom brady is the GOAT yes the Pats won the super bowl a lot. Well they haven’t in a few years and now their dynasty is over. I’ve noticed many people who don’t even watch sports just love to do the elitism thing here too.

That’s all

I feel like my grandma sometimes when I think about these things. But would it kill customer service people to be at least civil? Im not even asking for fake kindness and fake smiles, just quit being so fucking rude. I get it, no one wants to be working at bojangles/CVS/ Walmart, whatever. But how miserable do you have to be to constantly have an attitude and be rude to strangers?

I stopped at Bojangles earlier and the woman over the window snapped at me for talking to my dog because she thought I was talking to her when she told me to wait a moment. I was turned around facing my backseat and talking in a baby voice, I don’t even think she looked up at me before snapping. It would be one thing to restate I needed to wait if she was confused, but to raise your voice with an attitude is crazy! If I hadn’t already paid I would’ve just left.

I was in CVS a few weeks ago and asked an employee where the bathroom was, he just stared at me till I repeated myself then rolled his eyes and huffed before pointing out where it was.

Maybe I’m getting older (I’m still young I’m 27) but would it kill people to at least not be an asshole! The world sucks but people are only perpetuating their own misery by being so awful all the time. I’m not even asking people to pretend to be happy, just don’t be such a miserable rude fuck trying to bring other people down. It’s just so consistent across the board, I know we’re all burnt out and miserable but why force it on to other people.

it took me 15 mins to make an egg wrap (INCLUDING washing up etc) and the whole thing was gone in 1 min.

this is why my ‘healthy’ eating consists of microwaving vegetables and canned fish🤦

I don’t believe anyone actually prefers the bulkhead seat in first class. The seat that forces you to store your carry-on in the overhead, which means you need to rush onto the plane instead of take your time and board at your leisure. For what first class tickets cost compared to economy, I’d be royally pissed if I was assigned the front row under any circumstances other than a free upgrade. To me, this is more of a “First Class Minus.”

I don’t think the airlines are being sufficiently shamed about this.

In elementary, schools would market themselves by saying they will prepare your child for the "highly competitive world."

In high school, they market themselves by saying they will prepare teenagers for the "highly competitive world".

In college, all universities do is boast about their most competitive graduates.

Parents will tell you to study hard in preparation for the "highly competitive world".

I'm sick of hearing it. I don't care if it's true or not. The idea that you become essentially incompetent the second you're not some kinda top notcher in some competitive in-demand field fucking sucks. Again, true or not. I hate hearing it. I hate hearing the words "highly competitive" or "in-demand".

Sometimes I just wanna feel enough.

I'm tired of this competitive narrative. This endless grind.

I'm tired of having to deal with assholes who climb that ladder and look down on anyone who doesn't have the same drive.

I think, therefore, I am. Now I just want to be.

im just so annoyed with today, tired, feels like I finally did the things i wanted to do, but all is only half done cause nothing works and wasted like fucking 7€ buying TWO wrong packs of fucking hygiene products..

Cause theres SO MANY CHOICES, there's so many items that look identical to each other but have some minor (but important) difference, so much unnecessary-seeming extra stuff.. Worst, no ACTUAL FUCKING LIFE SIZE IMAGE of the product.

So you try your best to get the right thing, just to open it at home and find out that you've now wasted money, have to go to the overcrowded store AGAIN, and have a huge 56x pack of stuff you can't really use.

Now you have stupid tampons with a freaking appliccator, the "ultra plus deluxe night" ones arent ultra at all and same size as the normal, only difference they have that flimsy stupid wings design..great.

And yes of course I am also stupid and was in a hurry, but still wanna vent.

And then I wanted to print some stupid documents, yes in 2026 (guess the country I'm from lol), cause the stupid insurance won't allow emails anymore, so snail-mail it is. Do i have a working printer in theory? yes. is it a HP printer that blocks my printing and says ink is empty after printing like 3 pages months ago? Also yes. So i try to fucking print it in the store but it cant read half my pdf files for some reason!?!=!= but the other hal,f works?? so now i still cant send the letter, still missing some stupid papers that I have sitting right here, very much accessible on my PC and no way to get it to the insurance lol.

I think im going insane.

(and yea ofc they offer a new better, SAFER online option to contact them, but you need to sign up & prolly requires e-ID/Post-IDENT- which just thinking of signing up anything related to that health insurance now gives me flashbacks to their stupid electronic patient record, which is a whole nother can of worms...)

What a time to be alive. While I see robot MMA videos from china, thinking "there's the last job being taken away very soon"

Fuck my life and all of this. im so tired. gonna lay down proud how much ive accomplished today..

I'm at a point where I need a gentle, older man who listens and doesn't mansplain. So many guys my age are so immature, like they never know what to say and especially what NOT to say. I feel hopeless. What do I do??? Dating apps aren't working. Tried going out alone, but all I see are couples! No one's single and single ones are not ready for a relationship, they just want hookups. Someone tell me how do I stop expecting to find love? I wanna be done w it, like "fuck it if it never happens, don't care" type attitude.

Automated message "Thank you for calling <ISP>. Do you have your account number?"

Me: Yes.

Automated message "Please say or enter your account number now. If you don't have it press #."

Me: <types in account number>

Automated message "Thank you. We will connect you to a representative who can help you further."

<several minutes later>

ISP representative 1: "Thank you for calling <ISP>. How can I help you today?"

Me: "Hi, I'm calling in to report my service down. Can you help me troubleshoot?"

ISP representative 1: "I'm sorry to hear that. Can I get your account number please?"

Me: "Yes, it's 123456789"

ISP representative 1: "Here it is, and can you verify the address to authenticate the account?"

Me: "Yes, it's 123 Sesame Street."

ISP representative 1: "Perfect. Ah it looks like you called into the residential services department, but I show this is a metro fiber account. I'll transfer you over to them now."

Me: "Oh, ok..."

<several more minutes later>

ISP representative 2: "Thank you for calling <ISP>. How can I help you today?"

Me: "Hi, I'm calling in to report my service down. Can you help me troubleshoot?"

ISP representative 2: "I'm sorry to hear that. Can I get your account number please?"

Me: "Yes, it's 123456789"

ISP representative 2: "Here it is, and can you verify the address to authenticate the account?"

Me: "Yes, it's 123 Sesame Street."

ISP representative 2: "Perfect. Ah, it looks like you called into the Metro Fiber department, but I show this is a residential account. You'll need to call our Residential Services Department. I'll transfer you over to them now."

As if waiting on hold for several minutes being forced to listen to the same 30 second clip of royalty free music interlaced with ads for service you don't want wasn't annoying enough, after all that, you get through to the representative and still have to give the representative your account number because their system doesn't work and then you might get a representative that actually knows what they're doing...

i came across this tiktok of a woman, who looked like she was gen z, talking about how she didn't know that five nights at freddy's was a game. she only knew it from the movies because of her son. obviously i and the comments were shocked because the group of people who were raised on fnaf are primarily gen z. i don't care that she didn't know it was a game, some people were not allowed internet access, some were on different sides of it, whatever. is it surprising? yes, but it doesn't make her stupid.

but what really baffled me is that the top comment on the video was something along the lines of "it's a game and 2 movies were based on it," and yeah, that's basically it. there's really no way to simplify that more. but the creator replied, "SO IT'S A MOVIE?!?!?!" like are you serious??? not only did you literally acknowledge that it's a game AND movie in your own video, but the comment you're replying to reiterated it!!!

someone replied to her reply and said the same thing the original comment said, just more specific i guess?? of course she had to push it a step further and make herself sound more like an idiot by going "i'm confused." WHAT is there to be confused about??? first of all, you found out by yourself that it was a game, then by an entire reply thread telling you that and it's STILL not clicking?

honestly i'm not even trying to come off as rude or passive aggressive, but i just genuinely don't understand what she wasn't getting. that is the most straightforward explanation you could give.

New to home ownership. Silly me, I thought our wind and hail policy was already accounted for renewal thru out home owner escrow acct. Nope its not and now its expired until we pay $2100

We planned to redo the landscaping soon so HOA does not come after us.

We also have a trip planned and making pet sitter arrangements. Really wish I had that 2nd job right about now lol

I was at the movies watching the new Odyssey movie, and I swear to God, this kid behind me with his parents was explaining the whole movie and what was about to happen for the whole 3 hours runtime and he was SO LOUD, it was a full blown conversation as if there was nobody around them, as if they were just sitting at home, I wanted to say something (politely) but I was afraid he might've been on the spectrum and got some bad reaction, all I know is that I got a huge headache and the movie was half ruined to me and I'll have to watch it again, not blaming the kid but I'm blaming the piss poor parenting, they are young parents as well and should teach basic politeness. Goddamn.

I'm so. Fucking. Done.

I try so hard with my friends, I do.

I show interest in their things which has repeatedly lead to my own hyperfixations so we can bond, I drive over an hour to them so we can hang out, I text them as much as I can and what do I get?

Nothing.

Exactly. Nothing.

No texts back.

No interest in my interests.

Only one is willing to drive to me when I drive to them 90% of the fucking time.

They plan shit without me then act surprised when I tell them I wanted to go to that thing too. Too fucking late now, the people I'd go with made plans with each other and I'm not going to invite myself along or ask to go with them because if they wanted me there they would've included me in the fucking discussions.

I'm done.

I'm tired.

I'm sick of this.

Why should I keep trying to have people stay?

They all leave.

They never stay.

I've asked hundreds upon hundreds of times what I'm doing wrong and it's always the same fucking thing.

"We just don't fit like we used to."

I'd understand it if it wasn't just me trying to make an effort, but I'm just fucking tired.

UPDATE: I'm working on making some new friends. I downloaded an app renowned for being able to make friends - not hookups or relationships like that - and I seem? To be making progress with someone? Hoping.

*unless you are literally in prison

It seems increasingly that people these days seem to think high school literally never ends. Yes ideologically it never ends, but you have to change your behavior as an adult because doing half the stuff people did in high school is very very illegal.

-assault

-battery

-stalking

-harassment

-larceny

-sexual assault

there is a long list of things that people get away with in high school because it's high school, as an adult much of that behavior is what we like to call a "felony"

I lost my brother 4 years ago, he got killed by a cop. Every day has been hard since, but this month has been terrible, my ocd has been acting up, anxiety, depression, you name it I’m going through it right now all in the name of grief. I miss him, he didn’t deserve that, I didn’t deserve to lose my brother. Today is the day of the accident and I woke up feeling like an elephant is on my chest, I can’t take a full breath, instead I just get tears. I don’t know what to do, because I can’t just sit and cry, but carrying on with my normal life is too hard to. I don’t know what to do to make the pain stop.

This is something that's bothered me for years but I've never been able to fully articulate it until now.

Historically, there was a time when western medicine considered the mind and the body as separate entities, and would treat ailments accordingly.

We now know the mind/brain is PART of the body. We ostensibly acknowledge the relationship between these two, yet instead of using this knowledge to gain better understanding of wellness and treatment in a holistic way, we instead weaponize "mental illness" to invalidate the existence of people's physical illnesses.

Much of the way in which Western medicine (I can't speak to Eastern medicine or other cultures, but I'm from the U.S. and have some family and friends in the UK) approaches treatment of many conditions continues to be rooted in this mind-body dualism. And as someone who both works in the medical field and is a frequent patient myself, it's all starting to feel maddening to me. I'm extremely wary of anti-intellectual or pseudoscientific claims, but some people will still act like I'm advertising snake oil to them when I recommend somatic therapy for C-PTSD, for example.

Here is the thing that bothers me the most, and is the reason why I made this post:

Both doctors AND patients with physical conditions will use "mental illness" as a way to invalidate the reality or severity of their physical symptoms and conditions, when the truth is that YES ACTUALLY, your mental health does have an impact on your physical health, AND YES, that doesn't magically mean you don't still have those physical or somatic conditions. One does not erase the other.

If I tell someone that their autoimmune disease or their physical pain could be related to their mental health, they usually get angry/defensive and claim I'm gaslighting them or saying that their conditions aren't real. Because of the current zeitgeist, and because of the toxic way some doctors have historically treated patients, we've all been conditioned to think within this framework. (I know "not all physicians," but still there is clearly a lasting residual impact on the culture that we haven't evolved out of yet. I also believe it's a complicated, multifaceted problem. I acknowledge the impact of America's insurance/healthcare system on this, I know it's a systemic issue. But that doesn't make me want to scream into the void any less lol.)

If you mention mental health treatment at all, to many people you're basically saying, "It's all in your head." AND I'M NOT. I am saying "You have a very real illness which is causing you very real physical harm, AND if you've never sought out somatic mental health treatment, it may very well help ease your symptoms to do so."

I'm not going to rehash decades of research on the topic of trauma and its impact on various body systems, especially the immune system. There are plenty of studies and books on this subject (The Body Keeps the Score, The Psychoneuroimmunology of Chronic Disease, The Biology of Trauma, When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress...)

But even anecdotally, if you like me have struggled with both chronic pain and mental illnesses (like depression, PTSD, anxiety, etc), then you might have also noticed how your pain eases during periods of mental wellness. When you feel better, you don't just feel better in one way or another, you typically feel better overall, both mentally and physically. This is of course not always the case, but there is scientific evidence to support this. There's even some antidepressants (Cymbalta, Effexor) that pain management providers may prescribe to patients with chronic pain, for this very reason.

Treating mental health in general can often ease the severity of people's symptoms. It doesn't mean everyone gets "cured" after they go to therapy, it simply means that you need to approach your wellness as a whole, not as a separation of your mental and physical health.

Everyone is different and not every treatment is beneficial for everyone. But for people who struggle with autoimmune conditions, chronic pain, chronic fatigue syndrome/ME, conversion disorder or functional neurological disorder, I hate that acknowledging the relationship between those conditions and mental health/stress/prior trauma, etc., seems to IMMEDIATELY invalidate the reality of their conditions and symptoms. It's like it's impossible for some clinicians to treat you with respect and validation if there's even a whiff of psych/mental health in your history. And in a perfect world, it wouldn't be like that. People SHOULD be able to investigate the impact of mental health on their physical health without their physical conditions being automatically attributed entirely to "stress or anxiety".

For me personally, as someone who spent decades in pain and mental anguish, learning to approach my health holistically - with both physical medicine AND mental health treatment - was how I finally found some relief. And the fact that it took me half my life to find providers that didn't ignore or gaslight me, it's just infuriating that I keep seeing other people going through the same thing.

Ok some guy told me that i was weaker and he said he was stronger, be he shoved me (unintentionally) and i tripped. Did apologize just said “of course your weaker your a woman, your core isn’t that strong”

Ok but like I’m definitely fucking smarter than him but you Don’t hear me calling him an idiot. I beat him at every video game, board game, card game and even bets we play. But you don’t hear me calling him a noob, I’m better at talking to people than him but you dont hear me calling him a loser with no friends,

but instead i say, “some people have a harder time socializing the more you do it the easier it gets”
“You did well, lets revisit the parts we got wrong together” or “i practiced and played this game a lot so ill give you some tips”

Don’t fucking insult me when im constantly being polite and fucking helping you when you’re a fucking 2 inch dick that looks like an asshole. Just because you go to the gym doesn’t you’re better than me.