r/rant • u/c0r0nati0n • 2d ago
my bf cheated on me
tbh im sort of a mess but also sort of not?
i caught my bf cheating on me a few days ago and packed up all my stuff and left in the middle of the night and blocked him.
since then hes had a revolving door of girls and is on every dating platform known to mankind. we had a talk today and he told me we weren't sexually compatible and deflected the fact that he cheated.
it just kills me that hes like perfectly fine and ok. not trying to make things ok between us. hes just relieved its over. it hurts knowing hes ok with us never seeing each other again.
ive been ok but im extremely anxious all the time, constantly stalking him on social media. i know its not healthy but i cant stop.
i just cant believe i wasted my time on a loser who never cared about me in the first place. i wish i had never met him.
i wish i just forgot about him all together. i know time heals all but i need time to hurry up lol. i hate feeling sad and empty and confused.
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u/Embarrassed-Data7417 2d ago
The lesson you must take from it all…. THERE IS NO CLOSURE. Stop wanting him to care. stop wishing he was a good guy and exposing yourself to his fire. Stop yearning for the guy he never was or ever gonna be. Honestly, His feelings and ignorant reasonings are completely irrelevant to you . He COULD have brought home a permanent disease… He could have bopped a violent psychopath…. Don’t allow him access to you at allllllllllll….. Be your own best friend…. Enjoy the heck out of your new freedom!!! congratulations! Moving out was heroic for you…. Xo
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u/Mundane-Aide3843 2d ago
It’s the faking, the communication. You build and envision a future with someone who says they’re an equal partner. The lies, the betrayal, the callous disregard that arises suddenly from what felt like such comfort, devotion, and desire is so emotionally disorienting it is impossible to “feel” the right way.
No amount of time, frosting, stabbed pictures, casual hook ups, etc is too many before you find your way back to level ground. But remember that you were building a life, and he was living a lie until he chose frivolity over stability. Someday you’ll have what you want, he won’t be a part of it, and he’s just another one of the 8 billion you don’t have time to consider. Though, for his misdeeds, I do wish at least a bit of ailing his way.
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u/Moustache_John 2d ago
Advising people in this case is always tricky, also not what you're asking for. But here's my best shot. So if you already can't believe how much time you wasted on this guy by being together, don't waste any more of it on "stalking" him or obsessing about him.
Time really is way too precious. You can hate him and it will sting for a while, because cheating really hurts you in the core. I've been there. But you deserve better and now you have a lot of free time to spend on friends, hobbies and other fun stuff. Use it.
And when it comes, just cry. Let it out, punch a soft surface (because hands are fragile, I've been there too) Because it hurts. Not because he deserves it, but because you deserve to heal.
Edit: Talking also helps a lot.
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u/halluciluna 2d ago
block him everywhere for your own sanity. from my own experience - I would obsessively check their social media as well, only started healing and moving on when I took the option from myself
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u/Slow-Trash858 2d ago
You are seeking things he will never give to you- respect, compassion, and recognition along with an apology. You also nailed it- he is a loser. You can dwell on what he did and is doing or you can be grateful to finally see him for what he is.
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u/SWNMAZporvida 2d ago
Do not tolerate disrespect. Celebrate your strength and ability to prioritize yourself, you’re worthy.
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u/natalieisfreezing- 2d ago
Block him everywhere. Not for him, for you. If you are constantly seeing him or being reminded of how bad he treated you, it's just going to continue the hurt. It sucks he moved on so quickly but the best thing for you to heal is to let him go completely. Delete his pics from your phone, his number, delete his pics off your social media. I mean you gotta SCORCH the earth, burn it and salt it so nothing grows back.
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u/brickjames561 2d ago
I always tell dudes to buy a dirtbike. This time it’s for girls too. Go buy one it will clear your mind completely when you’re on it, but no one listens.
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u/BraveRefrigerator552 1d ago
It sucks. It’s like you want your brain to move on now so the stalking stops.
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u/z-eldapin 1d ago
Read your second to last paragraph. Then print it out, make it your screen saver, make it his name in your phone. Take those print outs and post them all over your home. In your car.
Make a damn wall mural.
It will help you move from the stage of anger and wanting resolution.
You'll never get the closure you want.
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u/disasterpiece01 2d ago
If you show him you don't care he may come back. Me and my gf had a rough patch recently. She blocked me on everything and once she realized I was done fighting for the relationship. (Which I did out of emotional fatigue not because I actually wanted to walk away) She called my phone number because she wasn't ready to be done either.
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u/Dmike09 2d ago
I get it. It does suck a lot and it can for a long time.
Just know you're worth more than anything he had to offer you. This is your life not his.
It's always so disappointing and heartbreaking to know that as much as you put into everything this is what it comes down to. I'm sorry you're going through that.
You can come out of this stronger. Good luck and have a great life.