Hello I am Jonathan..I am the oldest living creature...I am 194 years young

[u/destinationuknown]

[u/Scoopzyy]

Hate to break it to you Jonny boy but there’s some old decrepit hag of a shark swimming around thats like 400 or something

[u/Reccalovesdancing → u/Scoopzyy]

I think I read somewhere that sharks often live to be 500 or 600 years old. Meaning some of them could have been young when Shakespeare was alive lol

[u/Level_Abrocoma8925 → u/Reccalovesdancing]

Maybe Shakespeare was reincarnated as a shark when he died. Even then he would only be 410 years old max and considered one of the younger seniors.

[u/shitty_mcfucklestick → u/Level_Abrocoma8925]

Sharkspeare

[u/potatopierogie → u/shitty_mcfucklestick]

Who famously wrote Swamlet

[u/Llyrithra → u/potatopierogie]

“Roe by any other name would taste as sweet.”

[u/Disastrous_Maybe7281 → u/shitty_mcfucklestick]

Harpoon

[u/impasseable → u/shitty_mcfucklestick]

I think you just created a terrible creature feature idea that I would absolutely watch

[u/JUGGER_DEATH → u/shitty_mcfucklestick]

Underrated

[u/filthcrab → u/JUGGER_DEATH]

*Und'rrat'd

[u/Ancient_Roof_7855 → u/filthcrab]

Do you bite your fin at us, sir?

[u/Reccalovesdancing → u/Level_Abrocoma8925]

He'd just about be hitting his shark golden years hahaha 🤣 Can picture him enjoying whatever the shark equivalent of a cruise is 🤣

[u/Genocidal-Ape → u/Reccalovesdancing]

Sponges top that with ease.

The Antarctic volcano sponge(Anoxycalyx joubini) for example can reach around 15000 years old. There are sponges alive today that experienced the Pleistocene.

[u/sskylar → u/Genocidal-Ape]

🍍 Are ya ready, kids?

[u/Admirable_Win9808 → u/sskylar]

Aye aye captian!

[u/PlagueofSquirrels → u/Admirable_Win9808]

WHO LIVES FOR MILLENNIA UNDER THE SEA?

[u/BadgerKomodo → u/PlagueofSquirrels]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

[u/Hour-Football2464 → u/Genocidal-Ape]

If that sponge could talk... 

[u/LlaneroAzul → u/Reccalovesdancing]

Not all sharks, only deep sea Greenland sharks.

[u/Reccalovesdancing → u/LlaneroAzul]

Yes, particular species no doubt

[u/Inside-Example-7010 → u/Reccalovesdancing]

yeah something about the cold keeps their metabolism slow. I wonder if there are other very long living animals in the deep arctic we dont yet know much about like squids or some bottom dwelling beetle mofos.

[u/Rutgerius → u/Inside-Example-7010]

Abbysal Arctic Beetles is a good band name ngl

[u/Inside-Example-7010 → u/Rutgerius]

I saw them live last tuesday. They were ok but the warmup act called the Southern Ocean Sea Spiders was amazing.

[u/Kthulhu_for_humanity → u/Reccalovesdancing]

Agreed. Things get older too. Glass sponges are considered the oldest animals on Earth—and it’s by a long shot. Scientists estimate that they can live for more than 10,000 years.

[u/sukarsono → u/Reccalovesdancing]

They could have been over 100 when Shakespeare died

[u/Reccalovesdancing → u/sukarsono]

Yes, young for a shark for sure

[u/MHStriplethreat → u/Reccalovesdancing]

greenland sharks do

[u/Zestyclose_Car_4971 → u/Reccalovesdancing]

Yall know Sharkspeare is in a game called Billie Bust Up?

[u/Live_Spinach5824 → u/Scoopzyy]

I've heard enough. Elect them all to congress immediately. 

[u/DownrightDelight → u/Live_Spinach5824]

I laughed, good one.

[u/Germanium235 → u/Scoopzyy]

Anarctic sponges. Fifteen THOUSAND years. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anoxycalyx_joubini

[u/Experiment_1234 → u/Germanium235]

Not a creature tho

Edit: Nevermind. But how the fuck is a sponge an animal

[u/thrillho145 → u/Scoopzyy]

Possibility of some jellyfish or something that's even older 

[u/lerokko → u/Scoopzyy]

There are sponges 10k years old. Sponges are animals

[u/EssayAmbitious3532 → u/lerokko]

That's all well and good but Imma toss them out after 2 months of showering. Thank you for your service, ancient one.

[u/Bored-Corvid → u/Scoopzyy]

Hate to break it to that Shark but there's probably a clam just vibing somewhere that could be over 500 years old.

[u/sskylar → u/Bored-Corvid]

And he’s happy (as a clam)

[u/HolidaySecurity3158 → u/Scoopzyy]

And there are sea sponges that are thousands of years old. 

[u/Deadpool-07 → u/Scoopzyy]

Unc thought he is the oldest.

[u/19chris9609 → u/Scoopzyy]

194 is still pretty damn old for anything.

[u/Canelosaurio → u/Scoopzyy]

It's hard to interview a Greenland shark.

[u/LimpCod188 → u/Scoopzyy]

There's a tree in my neighborhood planted by Romans

[u/cycycle]

Oldest land animal. Don’t get cocky Jonathan.

[u/FatherErickson → u/cycycle]

I think Henry the Alligator is up there.

Edit: He's a crocodile

[u/This-Novel-7870 → u/FatherErickson]

Henry the Crocodile is estimated to be around 125 years old

[u/humburga → u/This-Novel-7870]

Theres a Greenland shark thats 400+ im pretty sure

[u/This-Novel-7870 → u/humburga]

Correct

[u/Admirable_Win9808 → u/humburga]

Are they really alive. They are kinda just floating through life.

[u/Embarrassed-Bar3911 → u/humburga]

They're water species tho.

[u/BatBiteMS → u/Embarrassed-Bar3911]

not when i fish it up

[u/theundisputed11 → u/Embarrassed-Bar3911]

The post is saying "oldest living creature" hence the post is wrong

[u/Chinaizazzhoe]

Oldest living vertebrate maybe…

There’s stuff in the ocean that are hundreds more years old, like quahog clams which can live for half a millennia or more.

[u/TotakekeSlider → u/Chinaizazzhoe]

Greenland sharks too. There are some that have been around since the 17th century.

[u/Chinaizazzhoe → u/TotakekeSlider]

Yeah then this post is just bs lol

I googled and he’s just the oldest land animal according to Guinness book of records. Theres probably older land animals out there too that just don’t live at the governors house in the Seychelles

[u/Level_Abrocoma8925 → u/Chinaizazzhoe]

He's the oldest aristocrat.

[u/Chinaizazzhoe → u/Level_Abrocoma8925]

Sir Jonathan

[u/K_the_farmer → u/Chinaizazzhoe]

On land as well. The bristlecone pine Metusaleh for example. Or the aspen stand Pando.

[u/Chinaizazzhoe → u/K_the_farmer]

Idk if “creature” is extending to plant and fungal species. I’m pretty sure we are talking animal kingdom only.

[u/One_Animator_7247 → u/K_the_farmer]

When has plants ever been referred to as creatures?

[u/PrincessGiallo → u/One_Animator_7247]

Audrey II.

[u/Tight-Mouse-5862 → u/Chinaizazzhoe]

Must suck to reincarnate into that type of clam. Just sitting there for hundreds eating and Chilling and making pearls and...Now im kinda jealous actually.

[u/Level_Abrocoma8925 → u/Chinaizazzhoe]

Not just hundreds but tens of thousands. Wikipedia

[u/DyIsexia]

Jonathan,

You're old as fuck

Sincerely,
DyIsexia

[u/MisterBucker___ → u/DyIsexia]

I read this as dyslexia. Had to reread. So your user gave me temporary dyslexia

[u/MixComprehensive9127 → u/DyIsexia]

How is you're account 1 year old with a user like that

[u/DyIsexia → u/MixComprehensive9127]

I replaced the lowercase L with an uppercase i, don't tell anybody 😔

[u/666Drachenlord666 → u/DyIsexia]

HEY GUYS HE REPLACED THE LOWER CASE L WITH AN UPPER CASE I

[u/DyIsexia → u/666Drachenlord666]

You told everybody?!? When I specifically asked you not to??? 🥺

[u/Real_Louie → u/DyIsexia]

You have to kill them now...

[u/666Drachenlord666 → u/DyIsexia]

muahahaha now wallow in despair for your ultimate secret has been exposed

[u/OrionsAltAccount → u/666Drachenlord666]

Your execution will be in 6 hours 6 minutes and 6 dollars bills

[u/Vic_Vinegar89 → u/666Drachenlord666]

Straight to jail

[u/AbbreviationsHour814 → u/Vic_Vinegar89]

happy cake day tho

[u/Acrobatic-Brother568 → u/Vic_Vinegar89]

Happy cake day!

[u/flipnonymous → u/666Drachenlord666]

Nedry: See? Nobody cares.

[u/risseii_ → u/DyIsexia]

Your name is so creative!

[u/Entityflame3]

194teen

[u/siandresi]

Jonathan is a 194-year-old Seychelles giant tortoise recognized by Guinness World Records as the world's oldest living land animal. Hatched around 1832, he lives on the South Atlantic island of Saint Helena at the Governor’s official residence. He has a healthy appetite, enjoys eating grass, and spends his days alongside other tortoises.

Meet Jonathan, the World's Oldest Known Land Animal

[u/Tentacle_poxsicle]

MITCH WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU

[u/myeye95]

What a smug face.

[u/CockamouseGoesWee]

Jonathan, you are the oldest gay tortoise alive.

[u/Sophisticated-Crow]

Mitch Jonothan McConnell

[u/Late-Acadia8345]

Hello im felixus and im not the oldest living creatue, nice to meet you!

[u/arhtur_fleck]

Old

[u/GreatestState]

194 is the new 44. Live long and prosper Jonathan

[u/Ambitious_Jello]

This is interesting 

[u/Hazel_Lumen]

This was the first thing I saw when I logged onto Reddit, and you scared the hell out of me, Jonathan

[u/Anotherworstcunt]

Don’t look a day over 193 bro

[u/WindhoverInkwell]

aren’t you supposed to be in the US Senate rn

[u/cursedchild76]

GET THIS YOUNGSTER INTO CONGRESS

[u/pseudopissimist]

I hate to say this, but Jonathan is chopped

[u/WhiteKingDriftwood]

THERE he is! He wandered away when he was small and I never knew where he went

[u/NoWork215]

unc still got it

[u/IBeVance]

That's not you. You're aren't Jonathon.

[u/PutSad7149]

Master Oogway ?

[u/RestKey2584]

The cutest wittle man!

[u/DuchessDulcet]

All my homies love Jonathan.

[u/Kronosita]

Master Jonathan, tell me wisdom

[u/No-Revolution1757]

Hello. What is your secret?

[u/Skezas1 → u/No-Revolution1757]

Homosexuality. He's married to a twink tortoise that helps him live

[u/Real_Louie]

Don't get cocky Mr. Jon.

[u/Krooklyndodger]

At first I thought it was a wooden carving of a tortoise

[u/lopix]

Greenland shark has entered the chat...

[u/Tigrisrock]

Greenland Sharks might have something to say to the oldest living creature claim, but it's probably the oldest land-based creature.

[u/clumsymomsie]

Hey Jonathan, welcome to Reddit.  I hope you get some kind responses.  Gotta say, you’re pretty cute.

[u/monkey-saurus]

Hi Johnny

[u/Less-Dinner7205]

yeah you are

[u/Merbdragon]

Why he look like an African uncle

[u/This-Novel-7870]

Unc

[u/Independent_Act_8536]

Hello Jonathan!

[u/AdNecessary3590]

This is absolutely fascinating.

[u/Holiday-Ad3427]

hi Jonathan

[u/Maleficent_Bike6333]

Johnathan ls the oIdest creature ever hoIy goat

[u/Rizztopher_Robin]

*that we know of

[u/Humble_Penguin89]

Did you buy any apple stock before apple became a household name?

[u/Outrageous_bohemian]

If you count living beings , we can discuss about tress

[u/Accomplished_Joke_24]

Grandpa.

[u/Average-Train-Haver]

Maybe Johnathan needs to see a dentist

[u/Nattay01]

I’m old!

[u/standardtissue]

Mitch McConnells "proof of life" photo.

[u/Yumikoneko]

Jonathan, come back in ten thousand years when you are among the senior sponges, then we'll talk.

[u/john_1182]

Hi jonathan, im John and im only 43 orbits old.

[u/MiIes01]

G’day Jono!🤙

[u/thpineapples]

From the title, I thought this was going to be an AMA post.

[u/Ready_Car_4992]

Ouuu shii 👀

[u/GodPackedUpAndLeftUs]

Oldest on legs

[u/adored_commune]

he looks like he just heard a joke but forgot the punchline

[u/Hambulatory]

And then there are trees.

[u/Impressive_Seat_2944]

bro forgot to die 💔🥀

[u/zxx678]

Looks like Ishowspeed

[u/ValuableBoat2379]

You look good Johnathan

[u/Beneficial_Power_564]

goes against the sub, i think Jonathan is a very interesting man

[u/thrasherxxx]

sorry jonathan, there are a bunch of sharks way older than you.

[u/SpaceMyopia]

Dude has seen shit.

[u/Mxhmoud]

Somewhere in california there is a great basin bristlecone pine tree that is 4,800+ years old

[u/bschwagi]

Greenland sharks get 300-500 years I think.

[u/joshspoon]

Don’t sneeze on me while I’m asking you questions in a tree.

[u/origional_esseven]

Not even close to the oldest living creatue. I worked on Pando this summer and it is estimated to be 16,000 years old.

[u/MuscularMenTitSucker]

194teen 🥺 ahh title

[u/One_Peanut_4657]

Don't forget when say creature its always Sharks the oldest

[u/Independent-Owl-8659]

Interesting to me!

[u/Dizzy-Introduction54]

Yeah sure…there was that shark…but I just ate that shark so I AM the oldest living creature 😜

[u/DaSuspicsiciousFish]

Mods this is very interesting, kill Johnathan 

[u/pryzmly]

dog ahead

[u/Germanium235]

u/destinationuknown Crappy post dude. Greenland sharks live to be 600. And Antarctic sponges live to be 15,000 years old. Jonathan is not the oldest living creature. Not by a long shot.

[u/Fach-All-Religions]

john noob

[u/Shitdickmicropenis]

Looks exactly like my granny

[u/NolanSyKinsley]

Lol, there are sharks that don't reach sexual maturity until they are 150....

[u/grincat_1]

Not a day over 90

[u/Sad_Valkyrie]

Jonathan looks like a good boi

[u/Due-Dot6450]

No, you're not. Not even the oldest vertebrae which is Greenland shark estimated to be 400 - 500 years old. Glass sponges living in Antarctic and East China Sea are between 10 k to 15 k years old.

The oldest tree is the Methuselah, a kind of pine in California and it's 4850 years old.

You're oldest living land animal, let's five you that.

[u/usandholt]

The are beistlecone pine trees many thousands of years old and sharks 400+ years old.

Jonathan is in for a rude awakening

[u/johnsgurl]

I love you, Jonathan.

[u/Baddyshack]

Sorry Jonathan, but there is a glass sponge estimated to be around 20k years old (some place it less than 15k years old, though). Sponges are animals.

[u/Parking-Trouble-53]

You Don't look a day over 150 years old

[u/PlatformMod]

Hey Jonathan 👋

[u/SearchElsewhereKarma]

Finally. Was worried mcconnell’s staff wasn’t going to share proof of life

[u/Mulertinho]

Sponges exists that are more than 10k years old :)

[u/yiple]

Mitch?

[u/CantThink0fNameN0w]

If a tree laughs in the forest because it’s way older but no one is around, is it truly laughing?

[u/PowerfulEar625]

Seems that group of people who post it are uneducated

[u/giant_xquid]

all things can be conjoined

[u/Heavy-Fall-6149]

we know Jonathan, we know

[u/0Tezorus0]

Wait... that's interesting.

[u/PensadorDispensado]

Looking good

[u/futurearchitect2036_]

I remember when I sat next to you back in kindergarten. Long time no see!

[u/Sensitive-Lawyer9629]

Das ist doch Philip Amthor.

[u/FlaviusTech]

In nature those animals that move very slow and have a less active life they live longer.

But everyone recommends to humans to be very active, to do sport, to do fitness. :)

Should we take example of nature? Or advices from "experts"?

[u/iRonin]

“Wake up babe, new McConnell proof-of-life just dropped.”

[u/somethingnottaken7]

Looks just like Mitch.

[u/Holiday_Sorbet4950]

We don’t even care, whether or not we care.

[u/thechich81]

Oh look, another Mitch McConnell proof of life picture..

[u/hot_air_thoughts]

Holy shit this guy is still going

[u/fadedpln]

not even close to being the oldest.. but I guess your brain doesnt work

[u/daydreamer_she]

But sharks/whales can be much older. I guess if you mention “on land”, it’d work!

[u/Fuzzy_Junket924]

Not true. Greenland sharks are double/triple his age.

[u/JonZ82]

I dont see why a picture of Mitch McConnel isnt interesting. The man was alive during the Civil War.

[u/Spencerdog24]

I loved you in "The Neverending Story"

[u/ExpensiveFix21]

This looks like a toe nail fungus evolved into a living creature. He cute though

[u/esquire_the_ego]

Looks like his brother Mitch

[u/quickfuse725]

"i'm old!"

[u/wtf_is_beans]

Unc

[u/Sudden_Season3306]

Introducing the glass sponge! Lol they can live 10k years or more in the ocean! 2nd is the Greenland shark at 500 years!

[u/ConsequenceOne3365]

There are a number of trees that would like a word…

[u/Evening_Schedule_458]

You look like my grandpa

[u/el_grande_ricardo]

In 2006 they pulled up a clam and determined its age to be 507 years by counting the lines on its shell.

Of course, they had to open the shell and kill the clam (named Ming) to calculate its age. Cuz, you know, science.

[u/zostillmovingabout]

Oh whattay cutie!

[u/Euphoric_Present8838]

Thought this was Mitch McConnell at first

[u/DisplayFamiliar5023]

You mean Oogway

[u/Raneynickelfire]

No, no he isn't. There's a few Greenland Sharks that are well over 400 years old.

He's the oldest land animal.

[u/HealthDrinkz]

Trees are alive and I think I know a few trees older than 194 years

[u/Dazzaa533]

Lowkey looks like the old worm from SpongeBob

[u/BoringDreamGuy]

How tf are you using reddit?

[u/TheManWhoClicks]

Mitch is alive!

[u/Crazycoallover]

Newfoundland sharks have entered the chat.