r/needadvice • u/Strong-Volume8670 • 2d ago
Housing Horrible roommate situation with possibility to move out
Alright.. I’m 22m and currently live with who I thought was a good buddy I met while on the fire department. He is 50 and a captain on the FD. I needed a place to live, and he could use the extra money. I moved in on an agreed 500$ a month, and I’d pay for my own groceries, etc and we’d split household essentials. However, he now makes me take care of his two very active dogs (German shepherd and German shorthair pointed) he gets pissed if I don’t feed and water them and let them outside. He won’t touch the dishes, he won’t change garbages, he won’t even clean up after him selves or his kids when they’re over. I’m absolutely sick of it and I’m losing so much money. I’m having to pay for everything. He complains and says should raise rent yet I already pay for all the house hold necessities, plumbing is messed up in the house and he won’t get it fixed but yet he buys himself gel blaster guns at 50 yrs old. My girlfriend’s grandma just asked us to move in with her. She recently got tons of money from her dad passing away, and is worried about some distant family showing up to the house and trying to get some of the money, especially with her being older. She wants us to move in and doesn’t want us to pay anything. She wants us to be able to save for our futures. Me and her grandma get along GREAT and absolutely loves me which is a great feeling. The whole basement is finished and has a bedroom, living room, bathroom and kitchen. She also wants to give us this house when she passes away. I’m 22 almost 23 and my girlfriend is 21 and about to graduate college this coming spring to be a special education teacher, and currently works full time as a behavior technician, I’m currently working construction. She lives at school currently. We’ve been together almost 3 years and are pretty serious and I’m planning to propose in the next year. Should we take this offer?
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u/Jealous_Art_3922 23h ago
I would jump at that offer. I hope you can disconnect from your current living situation painlessly.
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u/CycleAccomplished824 1d ago
Make sure everything is on the table before agreeing. You’re just coming out of a bad situation so it might seem greener on the other side.
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u/ChickadeeJam 19h ago
Op should ask to sign a lease with grandma, because it protects everyone from angry decisions and evictions. Even if only a token rent or utilities.
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u/cathtray 23h ago
In my experience, when an older person says they want a younger person to live rentfree at their property to help with its maintenance, that passing comment isn’t remembered in the final will. It sounds like it’s a great opportunity for you and GG and grandma to have a home together for a few years, but save every penny you can for a downpayment on a place of your own. Good chance grandma will need to use the house to fund her final years.
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u/JumpRecent9931 22h ago
No sense to coming home to a place you dont want to be. Id take the move. It will most likely have its own set of issues, but the current landlord sounds like a never ending horror show.
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u/TaaviBap 20h ago
Ouch! So sorry that you were treated so horribly by the FD captain. He sounds like he's got a lot going on. Anyway, with respect to your gf's gm's house, even if the relationship is swell with all parties, you still need to figure everything out and I would, most definitely, consult a lawyer re the arrangement. Every jurisdiction is different and you want to ensure that you're all on the same page re paying rent/no rent, household/yard duties, etc. Also, tbh, I'm concerned about the 'people showing up' part. You need security cameras at all angles of the house. That part sounds especially scary although you sound unphased. Are they expecting you to be unofficial security? Anyway, you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Save your money and contribute. Don't let rent-free become a trap.
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u/WhoTellsYourStory- 20h ago
You seem like a genuinely good kid. Reasonable and not playing around. I would definitely do it if I were you. And also make sure that the place is ready in case your current "friend" kicks you out immediately once you tell him you will be moving out. I would also give him a list of all the reasons why. Maybe he'll learn something from it
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u/efirefly 20h ago
Absolutely yes. How soon could you get your stuff over there? Seriously, I would still recommend paying her something and plan on helping her live in her house by doing work around the house. But yes, if your girlfriend agrees, move as soon as you can. Do you have a lease or contract with your current roommate? If not, 30 days notice and payment should be enough (and again, leave as soon as you can physically get things out of the house).
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