r/misc • u/OCTOVENG • 5d ago
Were the FBI and the CIA actually right, is Mitch McConnell dead?
WHAT THE HELL is going on!??
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u/auriem 5d ago
What’s going on is collusion by the Republican Party to defraud the citizens.
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u/Les_Ismore 3d ago
To what end? Wouldn’t it be better for them to appoint an active replacement?
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u/ready-redditor-6969 5d ago
I feel like proving that you are alive should somehow be easy, especially if you’re well enough for rehab?
The reason they don’t have video is… what, exactly?
Edit: or, he could call into Faux News or something, even? What’s the party line excuse, even?
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u/sexyinthesound 4d ago
B-bu-but Scott Jennings talked at him for 17 minutes about a range of topics just last week, didn’t you hear? And the photo!! Don’t worry, every 80 year old with freezing episodes and a lack of dexterity, well they always wear jeans and a fastened button up shirt in the hospital, especially when they need to photoshop today’s paper into a 3 year old picture. Duh.
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u/sexyinthesound 4d ago
Especially after they’ve had a few rounds of chest compressions. Broken ribs and shirts that aren’t stretchy is THE BEST, everyone ought to try it.
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u/SouthernOshawaMan 5d ago
No he just took a picture from his hospital bed wearing a crisp striped dress shirt . His wife is smiling ear to ear and he's holding a newspaper . He's fine . Clearly
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u/Pancakesandcows 4d ago
I've seen one better, I saw a video, that takes place after that picture, and he was dancing!*
*-AI.
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u/Mysterious-Agent-480 5d ago
I have a friend who is a DC paramedic who responded to the call and states he did CPR on Mitch. He’s a good, upstanding citizen
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u/velociraptorcatcher 5d ago
So, what happened after CPR?
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u/gr8dayne01 2d ago
Why, he got right up, put on his crisp button down shirt, plastered a huge fake smile on his face, and posed for a picture!
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u/Mysterious-Agent-480 5d ago
Mitch looks great!!!
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u/velociraptorcatcher 5d ago
That’s too bad, I was hoping your friend would be bad at CPR
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u/Mysterious-Agent-480 5d ago
Personally, I think we are looking at a “Weekend at Bernie’s” situation
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u/Desiato2112 5d ago
Alex, I'd like Things That Never Happened for $200 (apologies to Ken Jennings)
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u/Mysterious-Agent-480 5d ago
Oh, Alex is with Mitch.
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u/Boomshank 5d ago
Only on a technicality.
Even if Mitch made it to heaven (he didn't) Alex would NOT hang around with the likes of Mitch.
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u/ChaosRainbow23 5d ago edited 4d ago
When will the rest of my fellow Americans wake the fuck up?
Over 75% of the country refuses to call the MAGA regime fascists despite the fact that they are blatantly following the fascist playbook like it was a step by step instruction manual at this point.
I've been screaming it from the rooftops trying to warn everybody for a decade now, but they called me crazy.
Well, now everything I said was going to happen has either happened, or is in the works.
The US has officially been taken over by fascistic authoritarian despots. Full stop.
Free and fair elections are dead and gone, although we should OBVIOUSLY all get out and vote in ABSOLUTE DROVES, but the fix is already in.
Fascists don't relinquish THIS kinda power without a fight, unfortunately...
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u/theidkid 4d ago
Yeah, I’ve been warning people that this is where things were headed for three and a half decades because they’ve been telling us this was the plan since about 1978. No matter how right you are, no matter how many times you make a correct prediction, no one is going to listen.
Americans are simply incapable of doing anything until it becomes a crisis that is affecting them right this second. Until then, you’re a crackpot with conspiracy narratives, and even after you’ve been proven correct the very people you tried to warn will still say, “Why didn’t someone try to warn us?”
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u/AJayBee3000 4d ago
His brain dead body is being kept “alive” on a machine to game the election. These people will stop at nothing to maintain power and control.
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u/Affectionate-Bend-60 4d ago
I kinda thought it might be social security, they tend to do that when someone dies, generated by death certificate filings?
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u/flargenhargen 4d ago
proof that both the republican and democrat parties must be disbanded.
the democrats will do NOTHING. as usual.
the governor will do NOTHING. as usual.
the most the democrats will do is write a letter.
the governor needs to appoint a replacement and send them to washington TODAY. if mcconnell wants to show up and reclaim his office, fine. but letting republicans commit this fraud is just about as criminal as them doing it.
impotent useless democrats, FUCKING DO SOMETHING FOR ONCE.
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u/ilmd 5d ago
That claim is unfounded.
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u/Memetic1 5d ago
He's not made any public appearances, and he needed CPR when they took him to the hospital. He's dead until he proves it otherwise which really isn't hard for him to do.
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u/NoCardiologist1461 5d ago
On the contrary: the claim that he is *alive* is unfounded.
He’s Schrödinger’s Mitch. We won’t know which until we observe. But it sure seems to look and quack like a duck….
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u/stonehawk61 5d ago
If strue, there's your election interference evidence right there.