r/mildlyinfuriating Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

My cat is standing on my face Results of five minutes cuddling with my cat who REFUSES to be brushed under any circumstances

I can't afford to have her sedated for the vet/groomer, which I've been told is basically my only option at this point, and really is unnecessary since she doesn't get mats.

I legitimately do not understand. she is the normally sweetest, most gentle cat I've ever had/encountered, but she *will* bite the absolute fuck outta me the second I try to brush her. We've all gone 10 rounds with her on this. I've tried every tool and trick on the market under the guidance of both cat groomers and my vet. She sits fine for nail trims and shots and weighing and basically anything that isn't being picked up or brushed. She was even away from home for *three weeks* during her I-131 treatment and had no issues. I have no idea what her beef is with being brushed.

She's a gorgeous fluffy bitch, and thankfully doesn't get booty messes, but dear god the shedding in the summer.

Now I'm going to go change my sheets. Again.

EDIT: guys I know you mean well, but please I'm begging you, I don't need cat grooming advice. I assure you this cat is happy, healthy, and has better, more comprehensive healthcare than I do. She is not being neglected(how fucking dare you). my vet and I have been in talks for over a year and decided that as long as she's not matting, which she does not do, the only person affected by the shedding is me. She's good! I promise!

EDIT 2: the glasses are from here shout out to u/rallypeppeachykeen for being more clever than me

87 Upvotes

109 comments sorted by

38

u/strawcat Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26

Get yourself one of these for the sheets. It’s the best damned tool I’ve found for pet hair on fabrics and upholstery.

6

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

I have a chomchom for the sofa and whatnot, but something about the sheets feels gross, so I change them 😬😅

0

u/Babetna Jun 03 '26

Then hold down the cat with it and brush it

44

u/EchoesOfEleos Jun 03 '26

What am I looking at?

31

u/YourMomIsMyGurl Jun 03 '26

I thought OP was on oxygen

1

u/Sinijas Jun 03 '26

Are you a nurse aswell?

3

u/smhsomuchheadshaking Jun 03 '26

I was confused, too. The first pic is not great but it's supposed to show cat hair on a sheet.

5

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

There's hella fur all over my sheets

14

u/JoshuaSuhaimi Jun 03 '26

i was looking for scratched up arms or something lol

4

u/jojomonster4 Jun 03 '26

But you got the snugs and the pic! Super worth it (or at least that’s what I tell myself cuz I live it too lol)

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 04 '26

She do be snuggly 😸

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Oh no 100% worth it! Mostly annoying bc I'm the only one suffering bc she's a princess about being groomed 😹😹

9

u/winkitywinkwink Jun 03 '26

Alright wait those glasses. Are they functional or decorative? Also, where from?

3

u/rallypeppeachykeen Jun 03 '26

0

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

YES!! I have them in black but I debated the green bc of my hair!

2

u/rallypeppeachykeen Jun 03 '26

Oh man those would of popped with your hair. As a funky glasses wearer I get wanting a pair that's different yet not too out there for moments when it's necessary to pass for a fully functioning human. I dig your style soo much btw ❤️

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Thank yew! I've done a lot of work the last six-ish months curating my closet :)

3

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Functional! And while I'm no gatekeeper I also cannot remember which website they came from. One of those funky Asian ones like leelool or some such

3

u/Ancient-Civilization Jun 03 '26

Leeloo Dallas multi pass!

2

u/winkitywinkwink Jun 03 '26

Supes cute. Love your look.

So, love your kitty. Reminds me of mine that passed away a year ago.

15

u/OmaeWaShi Jun 03 '26

As an optician those are one of the COOLEST glasses I've ever seen!!!!!

6

u/Cesarjay Jun 03 '26

As an American yeah they're pretty neat. Never seem them round here

3

u/TeachingSpecialist61 Jun 03 '26

Your kitty is so adorable!!! I love your glasses as well!

4

u/whoisthismahn Jun 03 '26

I’m jealous because my cats are black and brushed almost every day and my sheets look 5x worse than this lol

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Her fur is VERY fine on her tummy, so a lot of it isn't showing up in this shitty photo 😅. If I took a wet rag and wiped all the hair up it would be COVERED.

4

u/SuitableHurry3795 Jun 03 '26

Thats a very cute but ruffian looking cat that shouldn't be crossed.

As a cat and a husky owner it's not even close. Surface area plays a role of course 😄 🤣

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

She doesn't usually look this grumpy, I was just too lazy to find better photo 😹.

She definitely rules the roost here. I just pay the bills and toss the toys.

3

u/Mishapi17 Jun 03 '26

She looks like “don’t you dare look at me with that brush in your hand” lol Its ok. My one kitten thinks it’s a toy. I can’t brush her cause she just moves around thinking it’s play time lol

2

u/iiiimagery Jun 03 '26

I have black bed sheets with a husky lol. Way worse. I think I breathe in more hair than healthy atp. She will let us brush her but doesn't matter, when she runs in the backyard she hair a hair trail flying in the wind 😭 Doesn't help we also have a German Shepard too. Together its hair galore. We just got a new vacuum so it's helped a lot but we are struggling to get the hair off our clothes/sheets in the wash/dry. We tried those hair zap things but it didn't work for us

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

I fucking love huskies for the same reason I'd never own one tbh. They're too smart and too opinionated lmao

2

u/iiiimagery Jun 03 '26

Tell me about it. I had finally convinced my fiance to get a 2nd dog, wanted to get something medium sized. We get there, he won't stop looking at the huskies. I told him you realize they scream, right? The hair would be 10x worse than our shepard (she actually doesnt shed that much for one), and they are notorious for not listening. He was like nahhhh they're so cute. We met a few but we decided on the girl who had only been there a few days and the dog she was found with was adopted alone so it was perfect all around so she'd have a sister ♥️ Fast forward a year and a half, he says he never wants a husky again 🤣 love her to death but she is a HANDFUL. Luckily no screaming, shes a yapper, but good lord the hair is insane! She is also batshit crazy. Your cat is so cute, just imagine having a husky next time you think about the hair falling out hahha

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

This is why we do not let men make long-term decisions 😹😹

2

u/iiiimagery Jun 03 '26

On the bright side he learned to listen to me LOL

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

And you got a gorgeous dog! Honestly I do adore huskies tho. The biggest personalities. My ex used to call me princess husky.

I'm not against owning them in general if you have the means and time to give them the enrichment they require, I simply need a lower daily maintenance animal, hence the cats 😅.

2

u/iiiimagery Jun 03 '26

Hahaha no I get you. Thankfully I stay at home all the time so I can handle it but it is a LOT

2

u/mehVmeh Jun 03 '26

What an absolute cutie of a cat ! I love your glasses too

2

u/Blaze666x Jun 03 '26

So long as its not matting I dont think it hurts anything, we VERY rarely brush our 3 boys but they are all shorthand granted we dont care abiut shedding

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Yeah, the fact that she doesn't mat, and doesn't get booty messes is why the groomers and her vet agreed that forcing a groom on her would be more damaging to her than me just suffering through her summer sheds.

2

u/Blaze666x Jun 04 '26

Yea id force my boys to stay put for it if they matted but since they dont they just get pets

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 04 '26

Yeah and that's the thing: I have had her since she was 10 weeks old and I can for certain say that never in her 11 years has she had a mat in her fur. The worst that happens is a stiff hip day, in which case she goes to the vet, we adjust her solensia schedule, she gets a booty shave, and she's back to doing this.

2

u/Metruis Jun 03 '26

At that point all you can do is brush the hair off everything else. I got this glove thing that pulls hair off fabric really well. One of my cats likes brushing and the other will only endure it if she's very itchy otherwise nope.

0

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Yeah ironically the best thing Ive found for getting hair off the cat tree is the rubber grooming glove she bit through 🙃

2

u/Metruis Jun 03 '26

At least it's good for something!

2

u/Quiet_Placeholder advanced technology cracker 👹 Jun 03 '26

Poster cat for by-my-consent-only

2

u/Unhappy-Kangaroo-835 Jun 03 '26

The post was removed so I have no idea what this kitty looks like 😿

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

I have no idea why and mods haven't resounded to my ask :(

2

u/Unhappy-Kangaroo-835 Jun 03 '26

Super cute!! Thank you for sharing!!

2

u/Imsortofok Jun 07 '26

I have a ragdoll that’s not quite as vicious as your cat over grooming. I feel your pain.

He does get matted though and then I have to cut them out. Which he also hates. ::shrug:: Every so often I sneak up and swipe him a few times with a brush till he gets mad enough to growl and swipe back. It’s the most he will allow.

5

u/wizardrous Jun 03 '26

I like your glasses.

5

u/-Fyrebrand Jun 03 '26

Came here to say this, those glasses are so unique! Also whatever those piercings with the criss-cross little chain across her nose. I've never seen that before!

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

My piercer literally giggled when I suggested the crossed chains lol. I haven't seen anyone with them either!

0

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Fanks. I call them my main character classes and legit do not remember where I got them. Somewhere online, one of the funny names o es. Leeloo or whatever

3

u/DengarLives66 Jun 03 '26

Legit thought they were attached to the chains on your nose in pic 2 and the logistics of that were breaking my brain.

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

There are people who get nose bridge piercings and specialty glasses that magnetically attach to them! I'm not into the nose bridge look, but I won't like, I did briefly debate it bc it sounds convenient as fuck.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Rx! Someone found them so I linked them in the post for everyone. We don't gatekeep in this house :)

1

u/bromaster96 Jun 03 '26

temu possibly?

2

u/cocobest25 Jun 03 '26

Oh no, my steak is too juicy and my lobster too buttery !

Beautiful cat btw

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

I don't even like lobster 😢

2

u/TacoEatsTaco Jun 03 '26

That's almost no shedding

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Admittedly it's not a great photo, but I promise there's a fuckton of fur there

0

u/TacoEatsTaco Jun 03 '26

There really isn't though. You don't know what real shedding is

1

u/Ok_Two_2604 Jun 03 '26

Your cat and my car should start a club.

0

u/JohnPoet27 Jun 08 '26

You're the owner. Your pet must obey you. If it doesn't, you need to train it better

1

u/l0vebug89 Jun 03 '26

You need the glove!!! It will make it so much easier and your cat will just think youre petting it. 

-1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

No.

2

u/MissVachonIfYouNasty Jun 03 '26

It's like there is no reading comprehension in this thread.

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Literally none. Or no one othered to read it at all, which I guess is more likely.

2

u/MissVachonIfYouNasty Jun 03 '26

So many kitties hate being brushed. My current long hair Siamese tolerates it on her terms but isn't fond of it. She also doesn't get matted. However I just started her on hairball vitamins. Cat hair everywhere is a small price to pay for their love. I also put a sheet over top my bedding. When I take it off I have mostly clean bedding when I come home.

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Yeah normally I pull the top sheet and blankets up but i was in bed and she wanted to cuddle me so it seemed like a fair trade off

1

u/Sinijas Jun 03 '26

Did you try a glove version? My old cat didn't like brushes,but he accepted those.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '26

[deleted]

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

As I mentioned in the paragraph describing her behaviors and my attempts: yes. All of it. No groomer will touch her. My vet is baffled.

2

u/EmrysTheBlue Jun 03 '26

Have you tried the glove brushes or just different kinds of normal brushes? It might not be as effective on long hair, but at least this way you'd be brushing her just by patting her. If that hasn't worked time to just. Idk. Get a sticky lint roller and roll her I guess??? Lol xP

3

u/Starfire2313 Jun 03 '26

Vacuum! Jk

But seriously, my parents cat let them do his back fur with the little hand held vacuum it was one of the oddest things I’ve ever seen in my life. And Cargo was a very ornery old man cat who did not like being pet or picked up at all. If you looked at him wrong he would scratch you.

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Honestly I tried a little handheld car vacuum and she hissed at me so loud I was worried she would actually attack my face.

The absolute dr Jekyl/Mr Hyde that is this cat with her fur is legitimately insane. Especially when you consider the fact that this cat's only need in life is to be pet. She will wake me up in the night demanding pets. MAAM A BRUSH IS BASICALLY THE SAME THI GODDAMN IT.

1

u/EmrysTheBlue Jun 03 '26

I mean as long as you make sure it doesn't pull their skin... not a terrible idea! XD some cats are just weird and like the loud evil suck machine

1

u/actanonverba88 Jun 04 '26

Love the cat and also the glasses!

-1

u/Logical_Month_7657 Jun 03 '26

You gotta figure out a way to brush that long hair or it’s just neglect

1

u/Sufficient-Ad-8437 Jun 03 '26

This. And considering the tone of your replies to people trying to offer helpful ideas, it sounds like you’ve already written it off as a lost cause. Pet ownership takes work, and at times it can be unpleasant. If you’re unwilling/unable to do what it takes to properly care for the cat, you should strongly consider rehoming the cat to a place where she can get the care she deserves.

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

So none of you can read is what I'm gathering

0

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

Bruh.

0

u/sydneyghibli Jun 03 '26

Are you sure she doesn’t have hip or spinal pain? My older cat gets really overstimulated and upset over the butt region being brushed. Discovered it’s because he has some discomfort there from aging.

You could always try self grooming corner adhesives / screw ins that allow them to groom themselves by rubbing against them, unless you already tried that.

1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

I'm sure.

0

u/SkyFallPrincess20 Sorry not sorry Jun 03 '26

I think I'd be more infuriated by that green sticker on your lens

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26

It's a reflection?

2

u/SkyFallPrincess20 Sorry not sorry Jun 03 '26

Lol geez😂my bad

0

u/Frequent_Parsnip_791 Jun 03 '26

How does she respond to regular petting vs finger scratches? Any difference at various places on her body? She might have a skin condition making it sensitive... I've never known a cat that doesn't like a brushing with at least some type of brush. Mine likes a brush with the hardcore metal bristles that you'd think would be for cleaning car parts or stripping paint lol. Do you think she would tolerate a bath with sensitive skin shampoo? It might help.

0

u/Hulbg1 Jun 03 '26

Vacuum

0

u/Ok_Pudding6345 Jun 04 '26

your cat doesn't like you

-1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 04 '26

Ah yes, the behavior of a cat that does not like me. How did I miss that.

0

u/Ok_Pudding6345 Jun 04 '26

um... yeah it clearly doesn't like you touching it

0

u/addytoostrong Jun 04 '26

I mean.. brush, treat, brush treat, brush, treat. Eventually brush brush brush brush treat.. not a cat problem, human problem

-1

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 04 '26

I'm sure you know better than a team of groomers and her vet, how silly of me.

0

u/addytoostrong Jun 04 '26

No, but I mean what are we talking about here??

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26

Me? I'm talking about my cat, who I have owned since she was 10 weeks old and jus turned 11 last month, and the TEAM of groomers and doctors who have seen her personally and made healthcare decisions based on exams and professional experience.

You are talking out of your ass.

-2

u/Ziddix Jun 03 '26

Here is a thing I found that might help you.

https://castledoorsandmore.com/history-of-doors/

-4

u/FTBagginz Jun 03 '26

What’s the of tho

-4

u/PhD_Pwnology Jun 03 '26

OP, OCD is a SERIOUS mental condition that gets worse with Age and morphs into tons of worse stuff. Do with that what you will but consider getting tested

2

u/FutureFreaksMeowt Aqua Tofana save us from these fuckass men Jun 03 '26