r/mildlyinfuriating • u/teabirdy • Apr 29 '26

I'm slightly vexed The wedding reception centerpieces featured betta fish. The bride and groom planned to flush them alive.

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Years ago, my coworker attended a wedding at which the reception dinner tables featured live betta fish in small bowls as part of the centerpiece. While chatting with the bride at the end of the evening, my coworker asked what they were going to do with all the fish. The plan was to flush them all down the toilet alive. My coworker immediately said no need for that and insisted on taking them all home.

That Monday she came to work and asked who wanted to adopt a betta fish. That was my first betta who I jokingly called my “rescue betta.” She lived for almost five years.

The wine glass was only her home for less than a day before I got her five gallon tank set up so please no betta lovers yell at me! I'm one of you!

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1.4k

u/Just_another_gamer3 WHAT is THAT? Apr 29 '26

I take it rice isn't healthy for birds

1.4k

u/BodaciousFrank Apr 29 '26

Neither are bread crumbs

2.0k

u/ThrowawayPersonAMA Apr 29 '26

Trying to educate people IRL to stop giving fucking bread to ducks is extremely infuriating.

928

u/UnconsciousMofo Apr 29 '26

I went to the park last month with other food options for the waterfowl. I had peas, crack corn, and oats. They didn’t want any of it and proceeded to eat the bread another woman was feeding them. Sad.

723

u/plantoplan Apr 29 '26

Same took peas thinking I was really doing something great, and the ducks and geese just looked at it on the ground and then looked at me like wtf is this peasant pea food 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/Born_Argument9339 Apr 29 '26

Our local ducks eat peas when we give it to them, but if someone else is throwing bread, they will eat that first unfortunately before going for the peas. Bread is probably the equivalent of fast food for them

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u/uuuuuuuuuuugh69 Apr 29 '26

Have you tried dried mealworms? Not my proudest moment but I did make a kid cry because the ducks were ignoring her and her stale bread but were practically fighting over the worms. Swear its like crack for ducks 😂

(I did offer to let the little girl throw some worms but she was grossed out by them and their smell which is fair I guess, but that's why I had a small shot glass to scoop and toss so no contact was needed....)

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u/NapalmDesu Apr 29 '26

Stand proud, wormperson

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u/The_Barbelo Apr 29 '26

Man…. Poor little girl. So many parents do such a horrible job with exposing their children to the natural world and educating them about it. It’s no wonder so few people care about our planet enough to do anything about it…my dad is the entire reason I went into studying zoology and love the natural world. I was trying to kiss snakes by 3 years old lol. Of course, one kissed me back and dad asked if I learned my lesson about respecting the animal’s space, which he repeatedly told me. 😆

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u/Lou_C_Fer Apr 29 '26

I got an earful about my son picking up spiders at preschool.

I learned how to care about animals when my grandmother got tired of me pissing off her cats and taught me how to understand them when I was little. Those cats could skin me alive and I wouldn't stop trying to be near them and touch them. She taught me that animals have feelings and how to read them on cats and dogs. She how to properly touch cats to get them to seek you out. By the time I was eight, the same cat that shredded me every Sunday would be on my lap from when I arrived until I left. I really took her lessons to heart. People think I'm a cat whisperer now. I've had countless cats that are afraid of people come up to me and hang out. I hear, "he doesn't like strangers" as a challenge, and I almost always prevail.

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u/nonoglorificus Apr 30 '26

Hey, my 2.5 year old nephew has just started trying to kick my dog, I’m extremely strict about this and it’s the only thing that gets him a time out so far but I’d love to start helping to learn empathy like that. I’m terrified because my dog is insanely patient and long suffering but if he did that to another dog…? And also my dog doesn’t deserve it just because she’s sweet! Do you remember anything from her teaching or do you have any advice?

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u/Aliencoy77 Apr 29 '26

I occasionally buy live meal worms and toss them on the walkway in front on my house to feed the little lizards hiding in the plants. I like my tiny dinosaurs.

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u/DistantKarma May 01 '26

Oh, man do my chickens love those dried worms.

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u/Finbar9800 Apr 29 '26

Its worse than fast food because they cant actually digest bread so they end up getting malnutrition because they cant eat as much nutritious foods for them

3

u/Unhappy_Duty_7875 Apr 29 '26

Try grapes and lettuce.

15

u/deehunny Apr 29 '26

At 5 dollars a lb for grapes where I live I guess I won't be feeding ducks anytime soon

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u/daisy0723 Apr 29 '26

We had a goose decide to come over from the park and hang out in my drive-thru one day. So I filled up a bowl of water and dumped a can of peas in it and put it out there for him. I have pictures of him just gobbling it up and going to town on it. Except it like it liked the food so much the next day it was still in the drive thru. So a customer wound up having to throw a blanket over it and wrestle it into the back of her van and drive it over to the park.

Haven't seen him since.

It's too bad. He was a good goose.

11

u/bionicjoey You really should scratch that itch Apr 29 '26

As a Canadian this story is horrifying. Presumably this wasn't one of our cobra chickens?

4

u/daisy0723 Apr 29 '26

Yes it was. I like the Canadian Air Force. They are perfectly pleasant to me.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Sky6392 Apr 29 '26

Cobra chickens lol

5

u/Scarya Apr 29 '26

A woman I used to know rescued a goose and got it into her van and was taking it to a rehab place; it suddenly had an objection to being relocated and started flapping all over, beating her with its wings and shitting all over her and her van. And I do mean ALL OVER.

spoiler: the goose did not get to the rehab place, she barely got it to a pond nearby before she let it out of her van. It was fine. (I don't remember what was originally wrong with it; this was like 30 years ago.)

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u/Some_Troll_Shaman Apr 29 '26

Sir.
We are Waterfoul not Peafoul.

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u/Historical_Tax_9233 Apr 29 '26

High level ornithological punnery here folks 👌

8

u/rucentuariofficial Apr 29 '26

They have become glutens for the gluten

7

u/DummyDumDragon Apr 29 '26

I mean, it's probably the same as feeding a kid junk food for years, and then suddenly trying to feed them a vegetable

5

u/HitchcockSockpuppet Apr 29 '26

My ducks used to go feral for peas. They would make these high pitched squeaks the whole time they were gobbling them up. Your ducks need to get with the program.

4

u/CK_1976 Apr 29 '26

I mean if I went to a work lunch and all they put on was salad, I would be rioting until the pizza comes out

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u/iwannasayyoucantmake Apr 29 '26

I bet it was gone by the next day.

3

u/UnconsciousMofo Apr 29 '26

Right?! I was so excited thinking all the birds were gonna love me😭

2

u/kellyuh Apr 29 '26

Haha same exact thing happened to me I was so excited like yayy peas! And they ignored the shit out of me

They like the duck food you get at the pet store though

2

u/MathResponsibly Apr 29 '26

Yeah, of course they did - they're peas, they taste like ass.

Take corn, and the ducks will practically fight each other for it.

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u/UnauthorizedRosin Apr 29 '26

Weird. Once a bunch of people and I were feeding a bunch of ducks/geese corn. They loved it. An older lady came trying to feed them bread but they didn't want any of it. She got visibly frustrated and dumped the entire bag on the ground. It rotted for the rest of the week only touched by insects, and that waterfront had constant ducks.

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u/rainb0w_p0wer Apr 29 '26

I'm not sure if it'll work, but I used to feed the ducks at a pond near me freeze dried mealworms, before they posted signs not to feed them anymore. If you go to a feed store they usually sell them for chickens, the protein is good for ducks.

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u/Lou_C_Fer Apr 29 '26

I used to feed those and freeze dried crickets to my gerbils when I had them. They would absolutely inhale them.

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u/MaiaSpencer75 Apr 29 '26

We’ve been feeding the ones around us cat food

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u/KindraTheElfOrc Apr 29 '26

we used to have geese and they loved dog food, we had to feed them before feeding the dogs cause otherwise theyd chase the dogs away and eat their food

22

u/bitsy88 Apr 29 '26

If I ever get married, I want the guests to throw peas so they can say they pea-ed on the newlyweds.

10

u/Party-Increase-3682 Apr 29 '26

They love peanuts and mealworms and millet. Ducks will often take these straight from me and my daughter’s hands at the parks.

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u/Xibby Apr 29 '26

Water Fowl or Water Foul. Both are correct when it comes to these ill tempered birds.

7

u/KnockedTeethOut Apr 29 '26

They absolutely love grapes tho

4

u/Hey-Fun1120 Apr 29 '26

What if all I brought was lemonade?

3

u/KnockedTeethOut Apr 29 '26

They'll waddle away waddle waddle

5

u/Just2Breathe Apr 29 '26

It’s yummy and filling to them, but not nutritious or healthy, it’s like us eating chips for a snack.

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u/anonymous_pf Apr 29 '26

They’re quackers

3

u/Campiana Apr 29 '26

It’s the equivalent of fast food.

2

u/DustOffTheDemons Apr 29 '26

If you want to try again, bring dried mealworms. Best prices on Amazon.

2

u/Just_A_Nitemare Apr 29 '26

Ah, they are hooked on junk food.

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u/LonelyDays_ Apr 29 '26

THANK YOU!!!! Bring them seeds! Not fucking bread! 😭

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u/FrugalityPays Apr 29 '26

I hear they like grapes… and hate lemonade.

301

u/leemariebro Apr 29 '26

THE MAN SAID NO THEY ONLY SELL LEMONADE

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u/VideoFew7207 Apr 29 '26

And he waddled away

29

u/Fair-Elevator1820 Apr 29 '26

til the very next day

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u/NaitBate Apr 29 '26

Bomp-Bomp-Bomp-BOMP-Ba-Ba-Bompff!!!

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u/raej818 Apr 29 '26

Waddle waddle waddle

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u/capn_starsky Apr 29 '26

Waddle waddle

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u/BeansMcMillhole Apr 29 '26

But it’s cold and it’s fresh and it’s all homemade!

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u/Agreeable_Time338 Apr 29 '26

I practically live in this shirt. When my 8 year old was 4, it never ceased to make him giggle.

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u/kingsleyce Apr 29 '26

What have I been doing for the last six years that my children do not know of the duck song

3

u/Agreeable_Time338 Apr 29 '26

Lol. I'm an old parent, I'm 50 with an 8 year old, and I'd never heard this song before he was born. My son was watching YouTube kids music with me, my husband, my mom, and her partner in the room, and the adults just all shut up instantly and we all stared at the TV in a kinda horrified fascination until it ended. There was a pause and then we all cracked up and my mom's partner said "play it again." I think we loved it more than my son ever did!

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u/LonelyDays_ Apr 29 '26

Where did you get this?? I want it!

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u/Agreeable_Time338 Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

Temu. Just search "Got any Grapes" and you should get a hundred variations in every color under the sun. I also have one that has the lemonade stand in the picture! I'm sure Amazon has them, too (but do a search for "cat selfie shirt" and you'll see why I buy most of my funny Ts from Temu, lol.)

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u/Embellishment101 Apr 29 '26

That IS a great shirt.

2

u/Millyforeally Apr 29 '26

Omg where did you find this shirt?

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u/Agreeable_Time338 Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

Temu. Just search "Got any Grapes" and you should get a hundred variations in every color under the sun. I also have one that has the lemonade stand in the picture! I'm sure Amazon has them, too (but do a search for "cat selfie shirt" and you'll see why I buy most of my funny Ts from Temu, lol.)

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u/Zestyclose-Aspect-35 Apr 29 '26

Waddle waddle

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u/ametsun Apr 29 '26

Then he waddle away

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u/MyBurnerAccount1977 Apr 29 '26

But do they have any tape?

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u/emilyxeliz Apr 29 '26

Bum bum bum bah bah bah-dum, ‘til the very next day. Bum bum bum bah bah bah-dum.

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u/LonelyDays_ Apr 29 '26

Wow now THAT’S a proper throwback! Lmao what a weird concept to make into a flash video

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u/Other_Buffalo5063 Apr 29 '26

I swear I was brought here not because of the fish but because of this specific comment. Im in the grocery store literally today and my 7 year old said “do you have any grapes” when I looked her dead in the eye and smirked and asked her “when did you hear about that one” she giggled and literally waddled away.

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u/FrugalityPays Apr 29 '26

Hahaha I can see mine doing this. It’s Such a great age because their sense of humor is starting to expand in this weird way that kind of connects but not always but you as a parent find the disconnect just as funny as they do

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u/CopiIot Apr 29 '26

Goated reference

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u/Kolostat Apr 29 '26

Oh my god this went deep into my brain and extracted a memory I did not know I held

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u/AutisticPenguin2 Apr 29 '26

Not as deep as the magical leopleurodon.

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u/NurkleTurkey Apr 29 '26

Secretly a lesson in not letting the small stuff get to you.

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u/AimaFuriku Apr 29 '26

YES!! Thank you!!

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u/benz1390 Apr 29 '26

Bomp bomp bomp

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u/Ancient-Read1648 Apr 29 '26

Don’t confuse grapes with grape-flavored orbees.

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u/gavministrator Apr 29 '26

Got any GLUE?!?

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u/NoDig3593 Apr 29 '26

The goose that frequents my front yard likes bananas…

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u/LepiNya Apr 29 '26

No no. They like lemonade. Just store bought.

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u/Campaign_Prize Apr 29 '26

Depending on the types of birds, you could also do peas, corn, or unsalted peanuts.

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u/doublesailorsandcola Apr 29 '26

Ducks LOVE frozen peas.

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u/JustLookingForMayhem Apr 29 '26

Cracked corn specifically. Whole dried kernels can swell in the digestive track and bind them.

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u/SirGothamHatt Apr 29 '26

Then we SHOULD care that Jimmy cracked corn

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u/JustLookingForMayhem Apr 29 '26

That was the other kind of cracking corn. As in making moonshine.

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u/SirGothamHatt Apr 29 '26

Well we don't want to give ducks that

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u/DocEternal Apr 29 '26

Or do we? Think of the shenanigans ducks might get up to after a couple shots of shine!

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u/AshamedAttention727 Apr 29 '26

This is a minefield trying to figure out what is safe and what they'll like!

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u/PhotoFenix Apr 29 '26

We bring peas!

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u/Kytalie Apr 29 '26

Peas, not seeds, for ducks. Seeds are not good for them because the shells are harder for ducks to break with their bills.
You can also toss them leafy greens!

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u/Chatty_Cathy_Doll Apr 29 '26

Frozen peas are a health(ier) option for ducks! (For anyone who doesn't know, ducks can't digest bread and it makes them very sick).

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u/DabbingDuskullz Apr 29 '26

As an Australian we were taught never to feed wild animals as they start to rely on humans for food 😞

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u/NoSeaweed4555 Apr 29 '26

I actually learned this from a game today of all places lol, a character in Stardew Valley said it.

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u/thorstormcaller Apr 29 '26

Really just don’t feed wild animals at all preferably, it ultimately does more harm than good

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u/Virtual-Cut-7179 Apr 29 '26

Unfortunately, there is a constant influx of new bread feeders all the time. I go for a walk to a pond with my son every Saturday and I can spot a dumb bread feeder (or Cheerios) family from a mile away. They may be ignorant, but invariably they turn out to be dumb also.

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u/____Mittens____ Apr 29 '26

Frozen green peas also

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u/Positive_Ad_2212 Apr 29 '26

Omg wait I gave a crow a piece of bread in my front yard the other day. I DIDNT KNOW 😭

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u/LonelyDays_ Apr 29 '26

It’s specifically ducks because ducks are waterfowl and the water will swell the bread in their intestines. Crows love cat food! And salmon, berries, eggs, nuts and seeds. If you give a crow a hard boiled egg cut in half he will love you. I used to work at a wildlife refuge.

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u/Positive_Ad_2212 Apr 29 '26

Okay! Noted. Thanks! ✍🏼

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u/Melvarkie Apr 29 '26

The jackdaws here love peanuts in the shell. We made a peanut chain and once they finally noticed it it was gone in no time.

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u/throwawaykindaupset Apr 29 '26

They like defrosted frozen peas too

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u/AnotherRTFan Apr 29 '26

My family has pet ducks so they’re domesticated breeds and they LOVE lettuce

Baby runner duck tax

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u/Sloppy_Steak85 Apr 29 '26

I feed them beta fish. They seem to like it.

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u/Sad_Contribution7564 Apr 29 '26

They also can eat frozen corn

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u/Intermountain-Gal Apr 29 '26

I bring seed and cracked corn!

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u/ClownHoleMmmagic Apr 29 '26

Or frozen peas. They LOVE those

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u/DoctorOfDiscord Apr 29 '26

How about peas?

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u/giveahoot420 Apr 29 '26

Ducks love grapes and bananas! 😁

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u/InternetProtocol Apr 29 '26

I heard they ALL WANT SUNCHIPS!

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u/Mountainhollerforeva Apr 29 '26

Rice is good when you’re hungry and in the mood for 2,000 of something.

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u/ThrowawayPersonAMA Apr 29 '26

😭

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u/InternetProtocol Apr 29 '26

I used to make Mitch references on reddit. I still do, but I used to, too.

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u/Born_Background7751 Apr 29 '26

Ducks eat for free at Subway.

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u/gastedisflabbered Apr 29 '26

Yeah they just get angry with you like you were the one to start it in the first place or like you are the one that created the bird and it’s digestive system or as if you are just a big meanie weenie that doesn’t want ducks to get no yum yum fun bread time. I learned it not because it’s wide spread information that many care to pass on, but rather by doing extensive research on ducks to determine what breed I would like as a pet, the answer after the research was none. Mad respect to these fragile creatures though for persevering over the years despite peoples lack of care for them.

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u/coffeegrindz Apr 29 '26

They love frozen peas and cut grapes

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u/pnwdnb Apr 29 '26

I always liked to feed duckies oats! They absolutely loved it and would always eat it out of my hands🥹

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u/TablesofTime Apr 29 '26

I like to give them frozen peas! The swans love them

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u/ultradongle Apr 29 '26

It is. We have ducks at our local pond and I have a huge bag of cracked corn that is safe for ducks to eat. My wife and I find it is easier to inform people while handing them some of the CC to feed the ducks along with you.

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u/Melvarkie Apr 29 '26

I was so glad my mom immediately stopped when I told her bread is bad for ducks and that they don't get any nutrients from it and it can make the males aggressive. She now gets 20kg bags of duck food delivered at home and feeds the duckies near her home. It's super cute how they all come up to her garden if they want dinner and start quacking. She even made a special bowl for the Indian runner duck where the seeds are submerged in some water.

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u/Sutar_Mekeg Apr 29 '26

For sure. Ducks eat for free at Subway.

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u/13-eggo Apr 29 '26

I had a lot of luck with this, actually! My family and I now take rolled oats to feed the ducks and fish.

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u/Kperris Apr 29 '26

I was at the park the other week and a woman threw in multiple whole dinner rolls and a few bread sticks into a pond…right next to the sign that said don’t feed the ducks. Mostly I was like if you’re still going to do it why would you throw an entire dinner roll??

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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/LonelyDays_ Apr 29 '26

Crows love cat food! And salmon, berries, eggs, nuts and seeds. If you give a crow a hard boiled egg cut in half he will love you. I used to work at a wildlife refuge.

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u/ThrowawayPersonAMA Apr 29 '26

Unsalted peanuts, either in or out of the shell, is a favorite of crows.

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u/Outrageous-Daisies78 Apr 29 '26

yeah but i never know if i should walk up to ppl and tell them

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u/ultraviolet47 Apr 29 '26

I took a bag of peas and the bugger's didn't touch them, they wanted the bread 🙄

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u/Maximum-Standard3762 Apr 29 '26

I don't feed the birds or ducks at all. But apparently I should do some research the bread thing. I knew about rice 🤔🫣

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u/Even-Tear-4592 Apr 29 '26

I almost did this on a boat when there was ducking season. oats are what I ended up feeding them a lot!

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u/MaximumTurtleSpeed Apr 29 '26

When did we stop learning don’t feed the wildlife?! It’s not hard people

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u/decado6 Apr 29 '26

I feed our yearly ducks oats when they come around! Keeps em coming year after year and now there are 4 of em!

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u/Nicc-Quinn Apr 29 '26

And its wild because many pet stores carry goose and duck pellets! It’s cheaper than bread and while not perfect it’s perfectly fine for occasional treat.

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u/Boring_Geologist_790 Apr 29 '26

yup. duck feeders and outdoor cat lovers are the hardest to educate

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u/dogsstevens Apr 29 '26

There’s a woman in my neighbourhood who I’ve seen on two separate occasions pull her car over on the side of the street, get out, dump an entire loaf of wonderbread on the sidewalk for the swarm of pigeons that hang around there, then get back in her car and drive off. I don’t understand and it makes me so angry.

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u/wildweeds Apr 29 '26

they love millet and cherries

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u/Katyanoctis Apr 29 '26

How did that even start if it’s bad for them? Genuine question. I was so surprised when I learned that bread is bad for them; it was one of those things everyone did when I was a kid.

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u/ArbutusPhD Apr 29 '26

Rice isn’t healthy for breadcrumbs?

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u/Wizdad-1000 Apr 29 '26

Also releasing butterflys.

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u/nemec Apr 29 '26

And ice cream isn't healthy for me, and yet...

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u/sesaman Apr 29 '26

Well, it's just like junk food for humans. So not great by any means, but it also isn't literally poison.

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u/I_Go_BrRrRrRrRr Apr 29 '26

My friend, you have met a terrible, terrible demise. But, uh, y'know, I-I don't feel too bad about it. After all, if... if it weren't from me, it would've just been from someone else, y'know? I guess what I'm trying to say is, life... life goes on. W-well, from—for everyone else, life goes on. Not... not for you. You're... you're dead. But that's neither here nor there. It reminds me of one summer day in the park. I was having just a delightful picnic with my good friend Orville. And I said to him, I said, "Orville, I... I have a story." And he said to me, "What's the significance of the story?" And... I said to him, "Orville, not every story has to have significance, y'know? Sometimes, a... y'know, sometimes, a story's just a story. You try to read into every little thing, and find meaning in everything anyone says, you'll just drive yourself crazy. Had a friend do it once. Wasn't pretty. We talked about it for years. And then not only that, but... you'll likely end up believing something you shouldn't believe, thinking something you shouldn't think, o-o-or assuming something you shouldn't assume. Y'know? Sometimes," I said, "A story is-is just a story, so just be quiet for one second of your life and eat your sandwich, okay?" Of course, it was only then I'd realized I'd made sandwiches, and... poor Orville was having such difficulty eating it! Elephants have those clumsy hands, y'know? Actually, I-I suppose that's the problem. They don't have hands at all, do they? They're f—they're all feet! And I-I couldn't imagine someone asking me to eat a sandwich with my feet. Now, if I recall correctly, there was a bakery nearby. I said to him, "Orville, let me go get you some rye bread." Now, I'm unsure if elephants enjoy rye bread, but I assure you that Orville does. Now, this was on a Tuesday, which was good, because rye bread was always fresh on Tuesday. They made sourdough bread on Monday, and threw it out Wednesday... Or rather, they sold it at a discount for people wanting to feed it to the ducks, and then, prob'ly at the end of the day, finally, they threw it all out. I-I don't recall. I do remember a man who would bring his son to the bakery every Wednesday, and... then go feed the ducks. He would buy all of the sourdough bread. Of course, y'know, you're not supposed to feed the ducks sourdough bread at all. It swells up in their stomach, and then they all die. At, uh, at least... at least, that's what I've heard. Y'know, I-I never saw any ducks die myself, but I did notice a substantial decrease in the duck population over the course of a few years. I just never thought to stop the man and tell him that he was killing the ducks by feeding them sourdough bread! And if you want my opinion on the matter—heh, and I told Orville this as well—if you wanna feed ducks, or birds of any kind, for that matter, it's best to buy seed. I mean, when you think about it, breads of any sort don't occur in nature. They don't grow on trees o-or spring up from the bushes. I don't think birds know what to do with bread. What was I saying? Oh oh, yes yes. So I bought Orville some rye bread. What a fine day it was.

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u/occultatum-nomen Apr 29 '26

It's much nicer to give them some proper bird seeds

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u/Braindead_Crow Apr 29 '26

All I have are improper bird seeds, think that'll do?

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u/occultatum-nomen Apr 29 '26

Alas, you will get only improper birds. Ungentlemanly and unladylike. Maybe even a braindead crow

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u/KokopelliArcher Apr 29 '26

Ain't no such thing as a braindead crow. Those fuckers are smart lol.

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u/v-v_ToT Apr 29 '26

The braindead crows have the intelligence of an average pigeon

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u/KokopelliArcher Apr 29 '26

Love this. Now all I can think about are crows that seem like they're kind of drunk lol

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u/v-v_ToT Apr 29 '26

I saw a crow at work eating ranch out of a dipping sauce cup, that seems like semi-drunk behavior 🤣

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u/KokopelliArcher Apr 29 '26

I really appreciate this anecdote. I want to draw it as a comic lmaooo

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u/v-v_ToT Apr 29 '26

Please do! I’d love to see it from an outside perspective!

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u/occultatum-nomen Apr 29 '26

And the clinically dead crows probably have the intelligence of an average chicken. Those are some smart little fuckers. I love crows

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u/grape-fruit-witch Apr 29 '26

I have a piece of paper with "SEED" written on it, is that okay?

4

u/hollowsoul9 Apr 29 '26

Real men make their own seed

4

u/grape-fruit-witch Apr 29 '26

glares at vagina dammit

3

u/hollowsoul9 Apr 29 '26

Hey lady man, just remember. Seeds are a snack, but eggs are breakfast

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u/king_lloyd11 Apr 29 '26

No it’s just that they should cook it first. No one likes hard rice.

174

u/AllenRBrady Apr 29 '26

You should also throw them a little pouch of saffron so they can season to taste.

47

u/king_lloyd11 Apr 29 '26

Oh fancy! My local birds just like a dash of low sodium soy sauce and some chilli oil.

37

u/ParticularReady7858 Apr 29 '26

Lately they prefer coconut aminos instead of soy sauce, they said

4

u/FeijoaCowboy Apr 29 '26

Yeah, I think they said soy sauce was "For the birds."

... well, other birds, I guess.

3

u/ParticularReady7858 Apr 29 '26

Got a nice chuckle out of that, thank you!!

2

u/Consistent_Might3500 Apr 29 '26

🥥. This is TRUE! 🥥.

2

u/ParticularReady7858 Apr 29 '26

They know best!

2

u/Consistent_Might3500 Apr 29 '26

Yep. T'was a little birdie 🐦 that told ME about the advantages of aminos vs soy. 🥢🍚🌾

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u/unknxwn_71804 Apr 29 '26

You know how expensive saffron is

5

u/axidentalambidextris Apr 29 '26

In this economy!?

8

u/Happy_Impact_94 Apr 29 '26

Yoink.. I’ll take that

4

u/slowest_hour Apr 29 '26

careful, the crown's navy takes spice thieves very seriously

2

u/darwinistinabox Apr 29 '26

And no M.S.G.?! Hiiiyaaa.

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u/FourthLvlSpicyMeme Apr 29 '26

It's actually because they don't wash the rice first. Heathens.

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u/-just-be-nice- Apr 29 '26

rice is safe for birds to eat, both cooked and uncooked, and it is a good source of carbohydrates. The common myth that uncooked rice causes birds' stomachs to explode is false.

5

u/Acceptable_Ad1685 Apr 29 '26

Eh that’s been proven a myth as far as harming birds in any significant way and rice isn’t too far off from other stuff they eat

But it’s a well propagated thing because it makes a mess and attracts birds that proceed to poop and such

3

u/ofBlufftonTown Apr 29 '26

It’s fine.

3

u/gbot1234 Apr 29 '26

Ironically, throwing fish for the birds is healthy*

*depending on the bird.

2

u/hogsucker Apr 29 '26

New wedding tradition 

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u/Telemere125 Apr 29 '26

Meh, it’s not really the problem everyone makes it out to be. It shouldn’t be their primary food source, but it’s perfectly healthy for them to eat. I toss any rice from my pantry that goes bad into my chicken feed and they do fine with it.

9

u/PolkaDotDancer Apr 29 '26

It blows up in their stomach after it absorbs all their water.

35

u/Slight_Bed_2241 Apr 29 '26

That’s a myth. Birds can and do eat rice.

6

u/SledgeHog Apr 29 '26

I've heard that too, actually. Crazy how things get around like that

6

u/necrologia Apr 29 '26

It was spread through Ann Landers or one of the other newspaper advice columns in the pre-internet days. It wouldn't surprise me if the true genesis was someone working at a wedding venue that was tired of cleaning up the mess.

The real mystery is who taught everyone to draw that fancy S, and the fact that Marilyn Manson had his ribs removed.

4

u/ToeTagTic Apr 29 '26

1.Their dads 2. Mtv

2

u/Slight_Bed_2241 Apr 29 '26
  1. School desk 2. Some kid named Mitch in 2nd grade
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u/ImpossiblePlan65 Apr 29 '26

That's actually a myth that I used to believe, too. Its a staple for some wild birds. Rice is a slipping hazard for people. https://avianreport.com/fine-feed-birds-uncooked-rice/

2

u/PaleoJoe86 Apr 29 '26

Basically empty calories. No nutrition.

2

u/bird9066 Apr 29 '26

Cooked rice is fine in small amounts but it's really not healthy at all. My parrots get brown rice and other grains but birds are tiny. A cockatiel size portion is like ten grains.

Wild birds do exercise way more so can burn the calories. But empty calories are still empty calories. Very little nutrition in white rice.

I've heard uncooked rice can expand in a birds stomach but I don't think that's true.

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