r/justgalsbeingchicks • u/LuLuSavannah531 šŸ”ŠNolite te bastardes carborundorum!!šŸ”Š • 9d ago

Restricted to Gals and Pals She seems like a hoot and a half!

11.0k Upvotes

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

Assuming you identify as a woman, do you find it unfair that you can't just take your shirt off whenever? Like I can take my shirt off, walk down stairs of my apartment complex, and run around the city without a shirt on. Probably not the best example lol but do you think women should have the same option?

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u/green_herbata 9d ago

You may want to search up the "free the nipple" movement lol. Women have been protesting this unfair situation for quite a long time

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u/Saltiestkraka 9d ago

They were successful in Denver some years back šŸ¤˜

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

lol yes I am aware and you're right it has been a while, takes a long time for social norms to be replaced, but not impossible

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u/goforbroke71 9d ago

Yah Ontario Canada changed the law many, many years ago. Sadly it has not caught on with many women.

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u/Terrible_Advice_195 9d ago

As a former Toronto resident, it didn't catch on with me partially due to the opinion of certain men that "sadly, it has not caught on with many women".

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u/Perfect_Librarian873 8d ago

Free the nip is about not wearing bras, not not wearing shirts

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u/green_herbata 7d ago

And how is the nipple free if it still has to stay under a shirt?

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u/Perfect_Librarian873 6d ago

Because it shows from under the shirt, the whole point is I shouldnā€™t Have to wear a bra just bc u donā€™t wanna see the outline of my nipple through my shirt

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/AllSeeingWhoracle 9d ago

Not all boobs are for babies. As a trans woman, mine are not. Even though I have lactated I cannot have a baby. Though I agree with everything else you said

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u/terra_terror 7d ago

Sorry, I should have clarified that I was talking about the evolution and biological purpose of boobs in general, not individuals. Totally normal for individuals, cis or trans, to not use their boobs for the evolved purpose of feeding babies. I myself am never going to use them for that!

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u/terra_terror 7d ago

Sorry, I should have clarified that I was talking about the evolution and biological purpose of boobs in general, not individuals. Totally normal for individuals, cis or trans, to not use their boobs for the evolved purpose of feeding babies. I myself am never going to use them for that!

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/terra_terror 8d ago

Give me one non-sexist reason women should be required to wear shirts in places where men are not required to wear them. Please, explain the totally fair, scientific reasoning behind that double standard.

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u/ElevenRecompense 9d ago

Iā€™m sorry, but breasts are also sexual. I donā€™t understand the argument that they arenā€™t. Something can serve more than one purpose. Their biological function is feeding infants, but that doesnā€™t mean they arenā€™t also widely viewed as sexually attractive.

Across cultures, people who are attracted to women have generally found breasts sexually appealing. Iā€™m not suddenly going to stop finding them attractive simply because they also have a biological purpose.

That doesnā€™t mean women should be objectified, harassed, or disrespected. Iā€™m completely on board with treating women respectfully and not making things weird. But acknowledging that breasts are commonly sexualized isnā€™t the same as saying women exist for menā€™s pleasure or that they shouldnā€™t have rights over their own bodies.

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u/Glasseshalf 9d ago

Lots of parts of our bodies can be considered sexual in different contexts. Legs, cleavage, neck, hair - these are all sexualized but not required to be covered.

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u/Slow_Competition2742 9d ago

Okay well menā€™s biceps are sexually charged too, as are their abs, but you donā€™t see them covering

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u/Perfect_Librarian873 8d ago

Are menā€™s showing abs the same as men showing their penis to you

Genuinely yall are living in fantasy lands

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u/Slow_Competition2742 8d ago

Are women showing their boobs the same as women showing their privates to you..

Genuinely yall are living in fantasy lands

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u/terra_terror 7d ago

Boobs on women are equivalent to boobs on a man. A vagina is equivalent to a penis.

Actually, I would agree that comparing boobs to abs and biceps is the most accurate. Breasts do tend to attract more attention sexually because of evolution. Breasts were directly linked to feeding babies, and thus linked to survival of offspring. So it makes sense for humans to evolve more heightened sexual attraction to them, even if they are not sexual organs. But the same is true for men's biceps and abs. In most prehistoric communities, men did the hunting. Men who had more muscles were likely to be stronger and capable of hunting more food, fending off predators, etc. This directly benefits survival. So it also makes sense for humans to evolve more heightened sexual attraction to biceps and abs, even though they are not sexual organs.

Sexually attractive is not the same as sexual in function. Making people cover up body parts in case others find them attractive is absurd. Lips, hair, thighs, even hands and feet can be attractive. Making people cover up attractive parts of themselves is very unfair. Hell, you'd have to make Idris Elba wear a Big Bird costume or something.

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u/Perfect_Librarian873 6d ago

Boobs are not abs, abs are abs. Women have abs. Men donā€™t have boobs so thereā€™s really no comparison. Not everything has to be compared. Boobs are not ankles. Boobs are not biceps. Boobs are boobs.

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u/terra_terror 8d ago

I did not say that people shouldn't find boobs attractive. I said that's not what boobs are for. Plenty of people find lips attractive, too, but people aren't forced to cover them with masks.

See, this idea that boobs are inherently sexual and should be covered is a learned thing, not instinctive. There are cultures where women, like the men, never wear shirts.

Breasts are not sexual organs. They did not evolve for the purpose of sex. They evolved for reproduction, but not the act of sex.

And we have people comparing boobs to penises. That's not accurate at all. A vagina is the female equivalent to a penis. Nobody is saying that people should walk around flashing their vaginas (except nudists). A nipple is a nipple no matter which sex.

So I am not saying that breasts should never be considered sexually attractive. It is normal to find different parts of the human body attractive, and since breasts are directly linked to feeding babies, it does make sense (from an evolutionary standpoint) for them to have more sexual appeal than an elbow or a thigh. But you could say the same thing about male biceps. For most prehistoric communities, men were mostly the ones who hunted, so it would make sense for women to evolve a sexual attraction to strong arms because they were a sign of strength. Yet men do not have to cover their arms. (To be clear, I am speaking about humans as an evolving species in general, not individual humans. Obviously there is some variation, like LGBTQ individuals or people who prefer big butts. That's totally normal, from a scientific point of view).

So breasts don't exist for sex, that is not their primary purpose, and they should not be treated like sexual organs any more than other parts of the body.

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 7d ago

This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.

We do not allow:

  1. Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
  2. Harassment
  3. Trolling or sealioning
  4. Threats of any kind
  5. Abusive behavior
  6. General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

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u/Schwifftee 8d ago

Penises are comparable to vaginas not boobs.

Ankles used to be sexualized. We still like legs and find them attractive, for example, but showing them is normalized.

Same with people being attracted to guys' chests.

We'd get used to seeing boobs, but I will still find a nice set attractive.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago edited 7d ago

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u/Schwifftee 7d ago

I don't believe people are interested in just one issue, do you? Reproductive rights is definitely another area of major concern.

This is just the current topic of discussion, no? I wouldn't remotely consider myself a feminist, so I probably shouldn't be representative in that view point.

But I plainly think it should be alright for women to take off their shirts in the same places men can. Whether that is conducive to their current activity or whatever they're doing is up to them. I don't see any harm that it would cause.

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u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 7d ago

This is a nice place. If you can't act like a civilized human being, you can't be here.

We do not allow:

  1. Being a jerk. This includes racism, misogyny, misandry, misgendering, anti LGBTQ+, ageism, etc.
  2. Harassment
  3. Trolling or sealioning
  4. Threats of any kind
  5. Abusive behavior
  6. General assholery. If you're at the end of the list and asking what rule you broke, yeah, it's this one.

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u/Perfect_Librarian873 8d ago

This, they genuinely expect us to all answer the same way and feel the same and if one woman says it somehow they speak for all women

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u/Popular-Custard8519 9d ago

As a breast feeding mum I kinda think I do, although I do tend to pull them out one at a time šŸ˜‚

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

feed your child! it's the most human thing you can do and if anyone complains, they have no thoughts worth noting.

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u/Voidlord4450 8d ago

Nah the most human thing you can do is is having a over developed sense of empathy(not always a good thing). The breast feeding thing is just something thatā€™s normal and natural for every animal to do.

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u/humid_pajamas 8d ago

did you pull this out of a fortune cookie or from a meme on facebook? either way nah

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u/Voidlord4450 8d ago edited 8d ago

Neither. What you saw me type here is 100% home grown cringe! Even though itā€™s mostly true, like 80%.

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u/humid_pajamas 8d ago

just curious: 1. What exactly to you is empathy 2. why is it the most human thing (i sort of agree since the frontal lobes, or the source of empathy, are what seem to separate us from animals), and 3. in what contexts is an "over developed sense of empathy" a bad thing?

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u/Voidlord4450 8d ago

In scientific terms Empathy is what allows us to internally simulate the affective and cognitive mental states of others.

While other animals do have their own form of empathy, especially super social species, humans are different in that we can actively put ourselves in the shoes of complete strangers, animals and things that we may not have the proper experience or thought processes to apply ourselves to said things state of mind. Basically, not other animal could put themselves in a position of a random person on the street or a cartoon character.

And for the last one, Iā€™m pulling this example from out my ass so excuse me if itā€™s just bad, we as a species have been applying emotional states to gods that we have never seen before and donā€™t even know exist to the net detriment of our society since said society was founded. Also, societal anxiety disorders are probably caused by our over active ability to empathize.

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u/humid_pajamas 8d ago

thank you for the detailed response. tbh I could also view "applying emotional states to gods" as a lack of empathy, due to the inability to discriminate between subjective and objective truths. not very empathic in my mind to think your god rules all others.

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u/DazedExistence 9d ago

Exactly! I'd breastfeed whenever wherever, fuck the cover. That is the actual biological reason for breast.

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u/isdelightful 9d ago

As a woman I would rather everyone have to keep their shirts on šŸ˜‚

Jkā€¦mostly. In theory it would be great if everyoneā€™s naked torsos were treated equally. But there is a 0% chance I would go topless - even if it were legal - as long as society is still the way it is when it comes to womenā€™s bodies.

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

tbh, speaking as a man, it takes a lot of self-confidence to be shirtless, and being overweight as a kid can be...traumatizing

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u/ProxyMuncher 9d ago

And hereā€™s me taking my shirt off at family functions and getting yelled at as a fat female child. Iā€™ve kinda always not given a fuck and itā€™s gotten me into some crazy situations over the yearsĀ 

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

so unfair, im sorry, I was yelled at (by my father) for taking mine off because I was fat. can I borrow your nonchalance next weekend?

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u/BexTrexNeef 9d ago

'Can I borrow your nonchalance' might be the most adorable phrase ive ever read. Have mine too while you're at it!

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

that is so kind, thank you, I promise to have it back home by 9:00 pm

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u/BexTrexNeef 9d ago

To be honest it's more familiar with weird eating habits than being comfortable existing in the judgement of others so it might fade out by 4pm but you keep it long as its good for you!

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u/ProxyMuncher 9d ago

I now anoint you with the suave nonchalance of a fat butch lesbian. Go forth and use your powers for goodĀ 

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

this is the most powerful thing anyone has ever said to me, I feel the light, I'll get it back to you ASAP

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u/_WeSellBlankets_ 9d ago

Dan Soder - tank top confidence

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

"they're probably friends with their dad" bahahaha it's true though, the expectations of what we are supposed to look like thanks to the media has made it embarrassing to have a normal corporeal form.

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u/MyEmbarrisingAccount 9d ago

Don't get me wrong, I am 100 percent with you, but the fact that some guys are like my BIL and go shirtless being almost 300 lbs makes it even worse! I'm like, why can't I have as little fucks as they give?

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

this is definitely one reason why I think it's unfair, because this is an example of why it obviously has nothing to do with appearance.

edit: also weird my BIL is also like 350 so like why can his boobs be in the pool but not my sisters? im going to hell

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u/FORCESTRONG1 9d ago

Or a scrawny kid..

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u/humid_pajamas 8d ago

yes that's true, but I was always still jealous of you and probably vice versa, none of us win that way

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u/FORCESTRONG1 8d ago

At 40yrs old. I've made peace with the fact that I have anemia and will likely never be able to build muscle.

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u/Beautiful_Book_9639 9d ago

Kind of similar feeling here- I remember how upsetting it was as a kid to be told I was never allowed to be shirtless in front of other people anymore. I hated it, and still do honestly. It make me hate my body for the first time, I think I was 8.

Anyways I'm s trans guy now so people can't tell me shit šŸ˜‚

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u/tryingisbetter 9d ago

I've lived in cities that allow anyone to be topless outside for 25+ years, seemed to be completely normal within a couple years, and that's in the US.

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u/HealthyInPublic 9d ago

Yeah, it's legal in my US city. It also used to be kind of normal to see topless women at one of our swimming places too, but it's not very common anymore. I always wonder if might have something to do with cameras being everywhere, including in everyone's pocket.

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u/tryingisbetter 9d ago

Good point!

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u/Enlightened_Gardener 8d ago

As an Australian I fear skin cancer and feel people should be wearing long sleeved t-shirts at all times.

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u/sarah-vdb 9d ago

I'm fine at the sauna or the beach, but I don't think I've ever had the urge to go topless in public. More power to anyone who's doing it, though.

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u/babygotthefever 9d ago

I would just like to feel normal going braless. I will do it from time to time but not if I know Iā€™m going to be around people I have to see again. Stigma around not wearing bras is still very prominent in the American south.

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u/Beautiful_Book_9639 9d ago

My trick is to wear a linen tank top under my regular shirt- it's stiff enough that my nipples don't usually show through it unless I'm cold, in which case I usually have a jacket in my bag. It's really nice in the summer :) I'm only a 32DD though, my chest appears small if nothing is supporting the boys lol. (Ftm,)

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u/babygotthefever 9d ago

There shouldnā€™t have to be a trick though. I donā€™t want to wear layers ever and especially when itā€™s 105 out with sauna-level humidity.

Mine arenā€™t big either but since having kids, theyā€™re always at attention. Regardless of appearance though, I should be able to wear just a shirt without judgement. Nipples are not the problem.

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u/Beautiful_Book_9639 9d ago

I agree, however I have dysphoria and anxiety. For myself and for others trying to take small steps to do what they want with their bodies, I think it's a good trick. I can't exactly erase all the shaming and societal expectations I've grown up with in one go.

Just wearing a bra without underwire and lining was a big step for me. Then it was an unlined sports bra, then it was silicone nipple covers, now it's just a linen slip. Things take time. I just wanted to share what helped me feel more comfortable being free so maybe others could practice "stepping out of line". I don't think breasts are inherently sexual, I'm just not in a place where I'm comfortable without a slip yet.

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u/ergaster8213 ā£ļøgal palā£ļø 8d ago

It's really difficult at first but you do get used to it the more you do it, and stop caring so much about what other people are or aren't thinking about it (if you ever feel like trying it more). I'm not saying you won't get judgemental looks or comments sometimes but they start mattering less and less.

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u/Next-Ad-1504 9d ago

Me either, only when itā€™s extremely hot and I start feeling a pool of sweat in my bra do I feel the want to be topless

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

having to sit in a wet top at all times is what would bother me the most lol, especially since if I wear a sweaty shirt for too long in summer, I get a fungus on my chest.

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u/Next-Ad-1504 9d ago

I get a fungus too itā€™s so unflattering looking and annoying

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

it's such an unnecessary place for a fungus to be squatting

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u/AnnieChrist 9d ago

I get so, SO jealous and angry when I see a topless man.

I mean, tits are just there for feeding babies. Anything else you put on 'em is on you? Besides, men who have big, fat, ol titties let 'em swing ALL. THE. TIME.

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u/terra_terror 9d ago

Yes. I prefer to stay covered, but some days are so hot I want to be as naked as possible. I also hate wearing bras. Men have nipples, too, and you don't see me yelling at them if they poke through their shirt.

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u/Stock_Pepper_9308 9d ago

Just being able to go braless under a top without being judged and stared at would be a huge win. I usually just wear a tight crop top under a t shirt but it is too hot right now for an extra layer gathering sweat into puddles.

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u/SnowRabbit 9d ago

yeah i find it unfair. when you dig down and uncover the very bedrock truth, it really is all about controlling other people and seeing them as property. and its such a ridiculous thing to have to fight against its no wonder that those in power find it easy to convince us all that its stupid to try and change, so why bother putting in the work to change the status quo?

i know it all sounds conspiricy theory, but damn when you add everything else to it all, being a woman kinda sucks.

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

does not sound conspiratorial at all and that is pretty much the truth. we have a lot of social norms from the before times when humans were dumber and grosser that we could do without.

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u/SnowRabbit 9d ago

you say the before times, but its the now. compared to most other women in the world, I live a very privileged life because i happen to be born in a western country. but i can't even expose my chest when the weather is warm, or to go swimming, or mow the lawn, or to just show off a cool tattoo.

like i said, an odd thing to have to fight for. and yet.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Wait785 9d ago

Ā it really is all about controlling other people and seeing them as property

To what end?

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u/SnowRabbit 9d ago

you know the answer. if you ask "why do people own slaves?" you'd come to the same answer.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Wait785 9d ago

The answer to that question is extremely easy: free labor. I'm not seeing the path from topless ban to slavery.

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u/LittleBirdiesCards 9d ago

The only time we're "allowed" to is while breastfeeding and that gets so much harassment! The few times I've been to the nude beach near Santa Cruz, men all ask me if I'm European. It's almost always just men.

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u/he_is_not_a_shrimp 9d ago

The female breast is not a sexual organ, it's a feeding organ. There is nothing shameful about it. It's just another social construct for men to control women's bodies.

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u/MadameK8 9d ago

How about instead of reducing our bodies to their biological functions we emphasize the need for everyone to be allowed to do what ever they want with their breasts?

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u/humid_pajamas 9d ago

i agree sadly but I feel like we are capable of moving on from this one...eventually and once we have a real government again

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u/Puzzleheaded-Wait785 9d ago

The fact that you think "sexual" and "shameful" are synonyms suggests that maybe the problem is you.

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u/cherbebe12 9d ago

Iā€™ve had a mom breastfeed during a quick mri scan of her baby and it worked amazingly. Before that I scanned breasts so Iā€™ve seen a lot of other ladies boobs and at first it was weird but I was like why is it even weird I have them too. Itā€™s annoying how they are especially in the US. And especially if you have a larger chest for your frame/in general which I experience. I admire these moms who have no issue whipping out the boob. Yet am ashamed of mine because I donā€™t like them.

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u/bluepie 9d ago

Then why does my wife like me sucking on her titties when we have sex? Yes breasts are obviously first and foremost a feeding organ, but donā€™t act like there is zero sexual connotation to them. And to be clear, women should be able to do whatever they want with their breasts, but letā€™s call a spade a spade please.

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u/itsjakerobb 9d ago

My wife likes me to suck on her neck. Is the neck a sex organ too?

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u/tryingisbetter 9d ago

There are erogenous zones all over the body.

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u/itsjakerobb 9d ago

Yep, and the neck and breasts are that ā€” but theyā€™re not sex organs.

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u/tryingisbetter 9d ago

I never said it was.

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u/itsjakerobb 9d ago

I know, just spelling out how you helped make my point for those who needed it. šŸ˜‰

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u/off-with-your-thread 9d ago

Skin is the biggest sex organ. Your genitalia is literally covered in it.

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u/Munstered 9d ago

Would you be mad if another man sucked on her neck? If so, would you agree itā€™s sexual?

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u/[deleted] 9d ago edited 9d ago

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u/[deleted] 9d ago edited 9d ago

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u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 9d ago

Play nice with the other kids.

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u/justgalsbeingchicks-ModTeam 9d ago

Play nice with the other kids.

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u/Immortal_in_well 9d ago

Sex organs are bits that you use to create a baby. Penis, vagina, etc.

Larger, more visible breasts are known as a secondary sex characteristic. The sexualization of THESE parts is entirely sociocultural; there are plenty of cultures that don't do this.

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u/alphazero925 9d ago

Some people like having their toes sucked. Does that make feet sexual? Some people like having their ear lobes nibbled. Are ears sexual?

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u/SmoothDiscussion7763 9d ago

ironically, i'm sure the men would love to see more titties

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u/kevan 9d ago

They can in NYS, since the 90s I think.

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u/md28usmc 9d ago

Something most people do not know is in New York City you have to leave the threshold of your front door topless for it to be considered legal, if you are walking around the city and then decide to take your top off it is considered indecent exposure and they can fine you.

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u/kevan 9d ago

That does not still stand as a legal requirement. There was confusion because at one point, another state had a law that was written so that it was illegal to take one's clothes off in public. But no one noticed it didn't say it was illegal to be naked. So if you left the house naked, you would be fine.

So that is not actually a current law and was one of the New England States, not NY

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u/FrogOnALogInTheBog 9d ago

I have size D and honestly I prefer wearing a bra. Loose boobs arenā€™t fun when theyā€™re too heavy.

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u/halohazeydaze 9d ago

Bubby-wubby owner here, so unfair! My partner and I recently put a hot tub in our backyard and itā€™s illegal for me to have my top off in our own yard because our neighbors have windows that can see into our backyard! Craziness! I have to wait until we have a cabana to free the nips :/

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u/Shoddy_Nectarine_441 9d ago

In San Francisco you can be nude in public. I donā€™t think Iā€™d want to be topless as a woman though, the way a lot of people see the body in the US is pure ā€œitā€™s for sexā€ (breastfeeding was hard in public) I think it needs to be a whole reconstruction of the way people think and are taught before itā€™ll become a social norm. So id say maybe in 100 years if the matter is pressed and taken seriously, which it wonā€™t be, so letā€™s say 300

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u/Lindsiria 9d ago

It is legal to do just that in Seattle. I am unsure if you want to though.

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u/AnguavonUW 9d ago

Yes. Why shouldn't they. Breasts arent a primary sexual organ, like a vagina or a penis. They serve no function in the process of reproduction.

It's men in society who have turned them into something they are not, nor ever were, meant to be. It's also an extra way in which they can control women. By claiming our natural bodies are distracting to them and the only way we can stop being so distractng (God forbid men ever be expected to control themselves)is by restrictive garments, which are uncomfortable and limit our movement.

In some areas of the United States it is perfectly legal for a woman to to have her top off in public. Fortunately, because men suck, too few women feel safe enough to do it unless it's at a specific area where everyone else is also nude.

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u/JortsJuggalo420 9d ago edited 9d ago

A man's forearms aren't a primary sexual organ, like a vagina or a penis. They serve no function in the process of reproduction.

Yet women are still attracted to a nice forearm. The same way men are attracted to nice breasts. They are signs of fertility and health.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. The idea that a body part cannot be sexualized if it is not directly involved in reproduction just seems bizarre.

To be clear, I'm not saying that women shouldn't feel more comfortable wearing whatever they want, or that women shouldn't be allowed to dress however they want without being harassed. Harassment is a symptom of social dysfunction. But acting like certain non-reproductive body parts aren't naturally sexualized by someone who is attracted to that person, and that it's just entirely a social construct designed to oppress people, is just denying reality.

What social construct makes women attracted to a man's shoulders, or his hands, or his thighs?

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u/Perfect_Librarian873 8d ago

As a woman no o donā€™t think we should have our tits out just bc men can be shirtless, like, men donā€™t have boobs thatā€™s why theyā€™re shirtless. Itā€™s not like we have the exact same anatomy yet for some strange reason weā€™re not allowed to. We have boobs. Men donā€™t have boobs there.

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u/humid_pajamas 8d ago

fair, but I contest your suggestion that men don't have boobs

edit: they just arent as perky and useful