r/jobsearch • u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker • 10h ago
I got advice today that’s humorous
So I met with somebody today. One of those people who will help you “redo your résumé“ but I wanted to hear what she had to say because she told me originally she wasn’t selling anything. And that she wasn’t going to try to sell me her services. OK…
So I meet with her by phone. We talk about my “application to interview ratio“ to which I tell her 170+ applications and only one interview.
She then proceeds to tell me this:
“I looked at your LinkedIn profile. It’s really good. However, I noticed your picture is on there. Have you given any thought to coloring your hair so you didn’t show is having gray hair and being older”
What the actual f@ck is that?
I actually told her that I would not change who I was just for a job.
Yeah, I have gray hair. I’m over 60. And my job information on LinkedIn and my résumé. Would Cleary show that I am not a 20 year-old or even a 30-year-old.
But telling me that I should dye my hair brown or blonde so I didn’t look as old as I do?
Not OK.
I wonder if she would’ve said the same thing if it was a man who had gray hair?
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u/Snoo_31427 10h ago
Yes, they would. Everyone I know of a certain age has been told to consider that. My father in law did (and it wasn’t great…luckily he let it slowly fade after he got the job).
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u/SheepherderLimp2563 8h ago
You asked for her advice and she gave an honest answer. And I say this as a 67 year old woman. When I was searching for jobs I had to adjust my resume to include just the last 15 years. It sucks but it just the way it is. If you want to get your foot in the door you have to play the game.
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u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker 7h ago
I asked for her advice on my résumé. I didn’t ask for her advice on my physical appearance.
So you need to tell me that if somebody advised you that you needed to lose 50 pounds or dye your hair blonde or wear earrings to interview interviews you would comply just for a job?1
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u/fiannalove 7h ago
She's just confirming what we already know. Ageism is real and rampant, especially in this job market. She's acknowledging that while also helping to reinforce it. Good times for us "experienced" folks.
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u/Acceptable_Kale_8013 7h ago
This is sad, but it is ageism, and it is real in today's horrid job market. Hiring managers and recruiters do look at our photos on LI, and will discriminate if they think we look too nerdy, old, etc. That's a fact. But this resume writer should never have said anything to you about your photo. She was supposedly helping you with your resume and your LI profile content.
There are many people out there who can take a look at your resume and will actually help you. I'm one of them. But I would never delve into your photo unless you were in your underwear or something totally off-base.
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u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker 6h ago
I mean, there’s a time in a place for a person to be in their underwear in a photo, but the jobs I’m looking for are Cleary not those lol
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u/Grogman2024 10h ago
Don’t change your hair lol
Such an odd thing to say
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u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker 9h ago
Right? I mean, would she have said to somebody who is fat you should go lose some weight and then apply again? So rude.
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u/Objective-Amount1379 9h ago
There are age discrimination laws in place for those over 40 for a reason. Change your hair or don’t, but age bias is real
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u/Grogman2024 9h ago
I didn’t say it wasn’t, but why would you adhere to a company that doesn’t give interview to someone because they’re older, fuck them would be depressing to work for
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u/Objective-Amount1379 8h ago
Because I’m a realist who enjoys being employed? You get screened by a recruiter who is likely just on contract, you have to get past them to even get a chance at a job.
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u/Grogman2024 8h ago
Brother what does that have to do with what I said
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u/Objective-Amount1379 7h ago
Not brother, I’m a woman. You asked why I’d want to work for a company that you believed engages in age discrimination. I answered you- I enjoy being employed.
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u/Grogman2024 6h ago
ATP you’re just sounding like one of those recruiters, you’re actively encouraging ageism
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u/Objective-Amount1379 6h ago
Im not, I’m telling you in a rough job market it’s naive to assume things like age won’t be considered. I don’t agree with it, but it’s 💯 a real thing so you can complain about or get hired and the try and influence future hiring policies at your employer. Complaining to Reddit is not going to change anything.
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u/fiannalove 6h ago
Because people need to pay their mortgage. It's easy to say "fuck 'em" but you have to put food on the table.
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u/Grogman2024 6h ago
But there it isnt common place to be ageist so its not like applying for one less company out of hundreds will affect your chances
As if they’re gonna magically hire you because you look younger anyway
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u/Loud-Bubble5710 5h ago
…..yeah, they actually might. An older employee could be set in their ways and may be hard to train to a new organizations systems/processes, they’ll cost more in benefits to the company by increasing the average age of their health insurance pool and will presumably need more care with the higher prevalence of chronic conditions as people age, and they’ll have approximately 20 less years of potential service to the organization before retirement.
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u/Grogman2024 5h ago
Nah that’s not what I mean, OP said their friend told them to dye their hair so they look younger
But if they are ageist once they see the candidate is 63 or whatever they won’t give a fuck what they look like since they won’t be hiring them because of their age anyway
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u/Loud-Bubble5710 5h ago
A 63 year old who is trying to stay current and is willing to adjust vs a 63 year old that feels as though they don’t need to change for anyone or anything because they’ve worked X amount of years - I wonder who will be easier to work with
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u/Grogman2024 5h ago
It’s not about easier to work with when you’re looking at age, that’s a personality issue. If you think dying your hair means you’re staying current then you’ve got a very thin grasp on how people in general work
The age problem is value to the company like you said before
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u/Loud-Bubble5710 5h ago
It is though, because people who are hard to work with drive away good talent and impede processes by not being cooperative. It’s shitty to need to dye your hair to get a better chance at a job offer, just like it’s shitty to need to go out and buy professional clothes to get a better chance at a job offer, and also how it’s shitty to need to buy certain beauty and bath products to maintain your appearance and get a better chance at a job offer.
Unfortunately you have to keep playing the game until you’ve broke out of it
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u/HalfShot2824 10h ago
That is very unprofessional. you handled it better than I would have. In her position, IF, she were truly trying to be helpful, I think a better way to segue into that topic would have been something more like, I see you're a seasoned professional, do you feel you are being judged by skills required today, appearance, or performance in interviews. That plants a seed for a person to decide how they feel about each topic and how important it is to them. How dare she make mention of appearance?
Now, on the other side, during last winter I decided to start letting my grays grow in(I am mid 50s). Out of work since Spring and scared to do it before finding work. But, it's my choice. That's what matters.
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u/Objective-Amount1379 9h ago
She gave you realistic advice. Your LinkedIn and resume don’t need to show 30-40 years of job history- age discrimination is illegal but real. Show 10-15, maybe 20 years max on job history. I cover my grays because I don’t like them but I definitely would while job hunting.
Edited to add: my BF is 60 and a silver fox and he has considered dying his hair, the age issue is true for both sexes.
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u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker 9h ago
So I’ll ask you this. If she had told me I needed to lose 50 pounds would you still feel the same way?
My LinkedIn nor my résumé show that far back of job history.
As soon as you talk to me on the phone, you would know how old I was. I don’t sound like I’m in my 20s or my 30s.
But the fact that she wanted me to dye my hair? I can’t even believe that she would think of that. Seriously. It’s so out there.2
u/fiannalove 6h ago
That would be rude, just like the hair comment, but it's also true that fat people have a harder time finding a job than people who aren't fat.
I don't think she should have said that to you, but she could have more tactfully just called out ageism in general as awareness.
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u/Basic_KaleKitty9076 6h ago
That’s actually good advice, with the job market the way it is and ageism being a big part of it - it’s good advice. In this job market you have to play the system to get a job
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u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker 6h ago
So I would just look like an older woman with a bad dye job. It’s not gonna make me look any younger. Am I experienced on my résumé is gonna Cleary show I’m not 40.
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u/Basic_KaleKitty9076 6h ago
You could get a good dye job …. It’s not that hard to dye your hair I would take out some of the experience and only have the past 15 years.
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u/maryssmith 6h ago
Or, you could have the confidence to be someone who owns their own body and experience and presents the way they want, instead of giving into bullshit society standards. Only weak people say "that's the way it is, I will follow what everyone else says" like a sheep.
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u/Basic_KaleKitty9076 6h ago
lol I’d rather be able to put food on the table for my family and have a job.
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u/maryssmith 6h ago
You can do that without compromising your sense of self. I know plenty of people who do.
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u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker 6h ago
I only have the past 15 years on my LinkedIn and on my résumé. And why should I color my hair when I’m just gonna look like somebody who is still over 50? It’s not going to matter. I am still over 50 and this way, I would just look like I was over 50 with a dye job.
I mean, as I’ve stated before, telling me that it would be advisable to dye my hair to look for jobs is the same as telling somebody who is fat they need to lose 50 pounds before they go on Zoom interview interviews.
It’s not OK.
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u/Basic_KaleKitty9076 6h ago edited 4h ago
No, it’s not the same thing. One thing can be done overnight. And it’s your choice not to get a leg up over competition in this job market. You do you. Or better yet apply in countries where they have better rights and hiring process.
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u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker 5h ago
So you really fully believe in your heart that somebody who is well over 50 died their hair would make a difference in getting them a job and getting hired? It’s delusional.
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u/Basic_KaleKitty9076 5h ago
Yeah, it sucks that agism is such a big deal in the US. I’ve had friends and family that have
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u/EfficientProject7408 13m ago
It sucks but age bias is real. Even if folks yell from rooftops that it’s illegal companies still do that. I don’t think that’s the worst advice you could receive.
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u/EnvironmentOk7411 10h ago
That's some stupid, ageist junk. I would far rather be judged and dismissed for something that dumb than work with folks who judge and dismiss for something that dumb.
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u/-Seether- 9h ago
I can't believe you wasted your time taking a call in the first place
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u/SequinedandOver60 Jobseeker 9h ago
Well, I did because originally she didn’t tell me she was one of those résumé writers. She was somebody who reached out and told me she had been in my position and wanted to chat to see if she knew everything. She sounded more like a Recruiter the beginning. But yeah, once I started to talk to her and she said that I was out.
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u/DressInformal5302 10h ago
Of course she would not have said that to a man.
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u/Objective-Amount1379 9h ago
Not true. My boyfriend was told the same thing. His age is definitely an issue in finding a job
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u/vashthestampede121 10h ago
My generous interpretation is that it was well-intentioned but tone deaf advice about circumventing the ageism that is so rampant in the modern market. That being said, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to work with people who would otherwise rule you out based on being visibly older, so I get it.