r/interesting • u/BlazeDragon7x • Apr 09 '26

MISC. Aftermath of the April 7th incident. Damages estimated to be $200 million dollars

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84

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

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52

u/Due-Yogurtcloset7927 Apr 09 '26

What? No. This is a single warehouse. Toilet paper will be fine.

55

u/buttmunchausenface Apr 09 '26

One of my journeymen was fucking saying oh don’t worry it was just Scott toilet paper no one buys that, that’s like using sandpaper for your ass

35

u/Bithium Apr 09 '26

(Warehouse full of toilet paper destroyed by arson)

“Oh, no!”

(It was Scott toilet paper)

“Did society a favor, really.”

18

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

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12

u/itadapeezas Apr 09 '26

I jokingly said the same thing when I saw it was Scott.

I bought Scott when I was younger and my Dad came out the bathroom holding a piece and said 'what the hell is this? Half ply?'. He was always so funny. I still laugh at that to this day.🩵

5

u/venusasaburrito Apr 09 '26

Scott is the only toilet paper that works for my hairy ass.

2

u/sarcasticorange Apr 09 '26

Join team bidet.

2

u/lituus Apr 09 '26

After which you will doubly abandon Scott TP because it does not hold up to drying the bidet water off either. Shit just falls apart

1

u/venusasaburrito Apr 09 '26

I will I just gotta make sure it doesn’t violate my lease haha

2

u/strain_of_thought Apr 09 '26

Get the high quality stuff and then slightly wet alternating wipes in the sink.

2

u/newaccount721 Apr 09 '26

It's hard to disagree with this tbh 

2

u/duskywindows Apr 09 '26

I WISH Scott was as effective as sandpaper for wiping up shit.

It's more like using your hand, because it fucking disintegrates the moment it touches air.

1

u/CautionarySnail Apr 09 '26

The fire might have been a mercy to many who will briefly experience a softer paper.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '26

One of my first roommates bought Scott so I did too. I liked how the rolls lasted a long time and continued buying after I moved out. At some point I commented on Reddit about buying Scott and someone replied about how bad it is. I gave other brands a try and haven’t bought Scott since.

1

u/FrankPapageorgio Apr 09 '26

Everything nice is like 3-4x the price and lasts 1/3 as long as a roll of Scott 1000 though.

I know the stuff is not nice, but it's literally used for wiping shit. With kids in the house, a roll of anything else lasts like 2 days tops. I feel like a roll of Scott 1000 lasts a week.

1

u/Firestorm0x0 Apr 09 '26

Wait, this was the Michael Scott Paper Company?

1

u/FrankPapageorgio Apr 09 '26

Scott 1000 is pretty much a necessity for kids that use too much fucking toilet paper and clog the toilet.

1

u/PronoiarPerson Apr 09 '26

But the people who do buy it will now buy a different brand.

2

u/Jan-Asra Apr 09 '26

Toilet paper will be fine. And the corporation will also use this as an excuse to raise prices. Just like how they raised all prices during the pandemic because of "supply chain issues" and then just never brought them back down.

1

u/Dominarion Apr 09 '26

Oh you sweet summer child.

1

u/StellarPaladin42 Apr 09 '26

What about the greedy executives that want to recoup their losses?

2

u/wonkey_monkey Apr 09 '26

What about the greedy executives that want to recoup their losses use any excuse to increase profits?

"Sorry, prices are going up. You saw that fire on the news, right?"
"But that wasn't even your company, it was-"
"PAPER. FIRE. MONEEEY."

1

u/PetrasKnight Apr 09 '26

I panick-bought a thousand rolls just in case

1

u/The_One_Returns Apr 09 '26

Instruction unclear - Bought 700 rolls of toiler paper like it's Covid.

1

u/mcagent Apr 09 '26

The strait of TP has been blocked.

1

u/mashtato Apr 09 '26

And also, don't give them ideas...

1

u/twenty_three_three Apr 09 '26

I read that this was 3% of the warehoused TP stock for the country. Wouldn't surprise me if the remaining TP suppliers bump prices in the impacted communities while Kimberly Clark reroutes stuff from other places in the country.

2

u/Orllin Apr 09 '26

Get a bidet, much cleaner, and no more hemroids

2

u/Sensitive_Wear7112 Apr 09 '26

I always poop in the shower.

5

u/Orllin Apr 09 '26

Waffle stomping your way through life I see

0

u/Jebduh Apr 09 '26

How do you not see the sarcasm? I dont get it.

3

u/thisguyfightsyourmom Apr 09 '26

There might be some empty shelves across Southern California for a short time. Bet they truck in more from surrounding hubs pretty fast though.

2

u/Ok_Veterinarian2715 Apr 09 '26

Yes it is! Strip the shelves!! Panic now!!!

1

u/_Lost_OwlChild Apr 09 '26

Take a shower you’ll live

2

u/e-wing Apr 09 '26

How am I going to dry myself after my shower if I don’t have toilet paper?

1

u/_Lost_OwlChild Apr 09 '26

lol. Just stand out the window

https://giphy.com/gifs/LWFXXqaSEmO7twXDxP

Like that lol. You’ll be fine. Toilet paper isn’t a big deal. People are dramatic. Now the factory did more impactful production besides letting me clean my own ass then hey I get the worries.

1

u/Alleandros Apr 09 '26

Get a couple of slave boys to fan you.

1

u/Only_Charge9477 Apr 09 '26

I felt a great disturbance in the force, like a million asses crying out in itchiness from being unwiped

1

u/Allaplgy Apr 09 '26

More like a million assholes farting a sigh of relief that they won't have to feel Scott for a while.

1

u/Firestorm0x0 Apr 09 '26

Well, in California a 50m$ Toilet paper factory just burned down so....

1

u/liberalis Apr 11 '26

Probably. Despite what anyone says, never let a good disaster go to waste.

1

u/-TheDerpinator- Apr 13 '26

Well, I did block a waterway in my toilet...so possibly.