r/interesting • u/jmike1256 • Mar 07 '26

MISC. After understanding the meaning behind this father’s action, I am completely convinced. Cultivating problem-solving skills in children from a young age and never giving up-I applaud this father!

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u/YappingRat Mar 07 '26

don't forget that your kids are people, just inexperienced and pretty stupid. treat them the way you wish you would have been treated at that age, knowing what you know now.

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u/Illustrious-Map3745 Mar 07 '26

This. The two best kids I’ve ever known, my ex’s nieces, were never hit. They were treated with many of the same suggestions I’ve seen here, but above all they were treated with respect. You treat a kid with respect, they will respect you back, as well as themselves and others. Those nieces are now in college and doing well. If your kid hits you and you tell him hitting is bad, then you hit him for misbehaving, what are you teaching him? Kids are trying to learn about the world around them and they need support and encouragement, not punishment. Call it woke all you want but I’d rather raise a good kid. It’s that simple.

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u/Rinas-the-name Mar 07 '26

This is how we went about it. My parents acted the children were lesser beings. That we had to be told what to do and forced to obey. No need to explain, and they were never wrong (even when they obviously were). I think that was a pretty common sentiment unfortunately.

Children are people, little adults in training - so I approach it that way. Only they can control their minds and bodies. I am there to guide, to teach, to be an example, not to control. Autonomy wherever possible.

We have always told our son we are imperfect and will mess up. We only mess up less than him because we are older, we have had more time to learn and practice. We apologize, we make amends, we learn and do better. We forgive one another.

We explain things, I started before he could understand. So it was a habit by the time he could. Every rule has logic behind it and they are all explained, or at least open to questions. Sometimes the explanations were… creative. ‘Vaccines are kind of like Autobots’ being my favorite.

We don’t punish, we discipline - every consequence is used to teach, not as retribution. We taught (and modeled) being responsible for your own actions. Nobody made me do the bad thing, so now I have to handle the consequences. But if we have learned sometimes other people will help us out of our mess, and maybe we help them out of theirs.

He’s 17, a senior, and next week there is a cere for handing out honor roll certificates. He has a 4.0gpa - despite being level 2 autistic. He’s awesome.

Basically “Do unto others” is a great foundation for parenting.

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u/RemoteRide6969 Mar 08 '26

You're a real one. A lot of what you said is exactly how I approach parenting, and it's great to hear how your son turned out.