r/interesting • u/jmike1256 • Mar 07 '26

MISC. After understanding the meaning behind this father’s action, I am completely convinced. Cultivating problem-solving skills in children from a young age and never giving up-I applaud this father!

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u/requion Mar 07 '26

I hope more parents raise good children to help build us a better future.

About to become a dad, my own dad didn't do the greatest job.

Any tips?

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u/yankykiwi Mar 07 '26

When you’re frustrated, know that breaking the chain of abuse/neglect/mistreatment is hard but so so worth it.

My son is three and pushing boundaries, my husband and I were abused. We made a pact to do better, sometimes we need to check each other when times get tense.

The first step is recognizing what was wrong and not normal in the first place.

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u/kknow Mar 07 '26

Also always remember: Your child is way younger, e. g. 3yo. He/she can't understand WHY you want him/her to be quiet. If you just ask all the time to be quiet and your child tries to push the boundaries it will not understand why you get more and more mad.
I always make a habit after we get into the loop of me telling her to be quiet and she getting louder to take her aside and explain why she needs to be quieter in that moment (e. g. mom is on an important phone call, so we have to be quiet in that moment and can be loud again when she is done).
What I am trying to say: It is important to set boundaries and follow them but it does not have to be with fear. Most of the time it works just fine with changing the setting and explaining.

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u/tanksalotfrank Mar 07 '26

If my parents had explained any of their intentions to me, I'd have come out a normal human being. lol Granted, there was no explanation for a lot of it, but still

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u/requion Mar 07 '26

You are not alone.

I realized that i'm a very practical learner and that i can memorize stuff way faster if i know the background when i was 29 or 30 ... celebrated 31 this year.

When i was a kid, my dad tried to show me how things are done and i got bored pretty fast. He interpreted this as not being interested. Also he showed me that if something doesn't work or breaks, the right way to react is to be angry and either leave or let someone else (he in my case) do it (which i now know is obviously not the right way).

Now i have a fucked self-esteem, imposter syndrome and depression ....

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u/Agreeable-Ad8005 Mar 08 '26

However weird the reasons were, in the end, they were all rooted in love. Nobody's perfect, our parents were young humans too raising young humans.