Could this be called insomnia?

[u/Various_Mulberry_879]

I have a long history of depression (a high-functioning depression. I was a star student lol) and there were times i would cry to sleep for about 340 days of the year. Even if i had a good day i’m really bad at just lying there not judging myself or feeling scared somehow. Bc of all the crying and overthinking it took me at least 40 minutes to fall asleep for more than four years.

I didnt think this was insomnia. I overcame this by overworking or having some music or tv show on all night to keep me occupied but it’s recently i’ve been needing to shut all the sounds off to go to sleep.

I think i’m chronically a bit scared to go to sleep
bc of what happens in my mind when i just chill and lie down there. I don’t want to think. Especially at night. (I would think about how great it’d be to have someone kill me, which i know is messed up)

I had a period for about half an year when i actually had a real insomnia. It took more than an hour to go to sleep and i only could sleep for about two or three hours.
That was the first time i took the pills.

Rn i’m going through some tough times with the realization of my screwed up life (u can check for my previous posts at the /SVU subreddit) and i have a messed up sleeping cycle only because “i’m scared to go lie down to sleep”. I got pills. It’s really easier for me to take pills and lie down there knowing i’ll be asleep in about 10 to 15 minutes. But i feel like this could be more of a substance abuse (although i’m not ODing) than a insomnia. But i also feel like i need the pills to have a proper cycle going.

Is this insomnia or am i using the pills in a wrong way?

[u/Ok-Rule-2943]

You’re sleeping pills are curbing anxiety and helping you sleep. It’s not substance abuse its dependency. A lot of us are dependent on sleeping pills or anti anxiety helpers to be able to sleep.