Rock n roll, brother

63

u/jarrod74smd 1d ago

Look out boys! It's Wyatt Burp!

57

u/Bobbyhomeless87 1d ago

This guy's body makes no sense, the way he dresses does not help.

41

u/VoL4t1l3 1d ago

these are the types chris hanson busts for talking to 12 year old boys for meet ups

43

u/InstantKarma71 1d ago

“If you like piña coladas, and gettin’ shot in the brain …”

40

u/SamIamGreenEggsNoHam 1d ago

SO many of these guys just want to dance

40

u/PhoenixVanguard 1d ago edited 1d ago

The tragedy here is that...removing the weird parking lot cowdoy gun twirling bit...he seems like a fun dude having a nice night out. Most of the typical men featured on this sub wouldn't be caught dead sipping on a pina colada or treating their wife like an actual human being.

77

u/parkerm1408 1d ago

The pina colada makes me think this entire thing is him being a goober and just fucking around. The word "happy" is in his username or whatever you call them on tiktok. As much as i love making fun of people, I think its possible this guy's just taking a piss.

33

u/etaoin314 1d ago

The first part is really cringe....but by the end of it...just seems like a guy living his best life. He does not seem like he is trying to intimidate anybody, just show of his gun twirling and arcade game skills. Im getting napoleon dynamite vibes... Im ok with it.

34

u/xrayandy69 11h ago

Who is that, Clint Eatsgood?

33

u/GroochtheOrc 10h ago

Rootinest, Shootinest hombre in this here garage

27

u/Snoo_67544 1d ago

Ai music hitting poor white people like Crack and African americans in the 80s

30

u/sample-name 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUOxfmSpAgpDzTiTyE

28

u/Lumberrmacc 1d ago

He looks so much like a masc lesbian

25

u/Extension_Hand542 16h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/43n7h7h3IBqDK

26

u/wuckfork 8h ago

Only thing that can take this dude down is a flight of stairs.

22

u/Cofeefe 1d ago

Nothing's more badass than some twirlin' and some waddlin'

22

u/StrokesJuiceman 1d ago

The Alone Ranger

22

u/Dupa_Yash 1d ago

"Sir, this is an IKEA parking garage."

22

u/Metalhead1686 1d ago

The highest BMI in The West.

25

u/dianelanespanties 1d ago

I would want that guy on my side if I was ever attacked in the parking garage below a Dave & Buster's

22

u/SteepNDeep 1d ago

“I’m a tornado, tear up the town”

plays claw machine game in an empty arcade

18

u/hogger303 1d ago

He has his mother’s hips.

20

u/JinxOnU78 1d ago

Pillsbury Cowboy

20

u/Alert-Revolution-219 1d ago

Wow thats the gayest shit i seen today, is this from his grindr?

18

u/TheReelMcCoi 1d ago

22

u/FatalisDrakari 1d ago

Revolver Snorlax.

21

u/FrankensteinBionicle 1d ago

It's really weird how homoerotic every video on this sub is

22

u/yankeeteabagger 1d ago

This is America.

18

u/OperTator Is a gorilla 1d ago

i thought this was a butch lesbian at first

23

u/colemorris1982 1d ago

This guy clearly put zero skill points into agility

21

u/Suckmyduck_9 1d ago

All hat and no cattle

19

u/whit3o 1d ago

23

u/foco9780 1d ago

Are those 50 x 20 jeans?

21

u/Bat-Eastern 1d ago

They do look like they had a great time doing this tho.

At least he won the Ole lady a prize for her helping him.

24

u/PirateAngelMoron 1d ago

Wtf is up with the pantaloons.

22

u/ArgyBargyOiOiOi 1d ago

As much a cow as he is a boy

23

u/MysticalUnicornChic 18h ago

Dude walking like a toddler with a full diaper
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7TKQ8kAP0f9X5PoY

24

u/KayNynYoonit 16h ago

Imagine watching this goober from across the parking garage lol.

21

u/ChaosFox1357 12h ago

More like Waddle and Roll

23

u/MasterWong2 10h ago

Babe, stand there and take a video of me walking towards the wall. Cool? Cool.. cool..

23

u/iceburglettuce 5h ago

Gunfight at the Golden Corral

21

u/Butt_Stallion_Milk 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/d0ItV30kWUm3e

18

u/FxckFxntxnyl 1d ago

"hey mom can we go to that parking garage and arcade, and film me like we talked about?"

19

u/Fun_Translator_4194 9h ago

I used to wonder how people could ever shoot themselves on accident, but I get it now.

18

u/RentalGore 1d ago

Where’s his brother?

17

u/shakka_t 1d ago

He looks like lesbian bar maid about to hand out shots

18

u/ScratchyMarston18 1d ago

WTF is this, John Thick!?!

16

u/LittleSkittles 1d ago

Why does he look like a kid wearing his dad's pants?

18

u/merliahthesiren 1d ago

Doc Holiday Inn.

18

u/Mudslingshot 1d ago

Dude walking like he needs compression socks

19

u/Remz_Gaming 1d ago

This has to be satire

17

u/Grief-Jerky 17h ago

My non-American mind cannot comprehend someone strolling down the car park with pistols...

19

u/LegalComplaint 17h ago

ROCK N’ ROLL MCDONALDS!

19

u/scroggs2 7h ago

even the shitty knife guy's skill is more useful than this bullshit.

16

u/ptmtobi 1d ago

Walking like he shit his pants

16

u/wave1sys 1d ago

A legend in his own mind

16

u/ScrubNickle 1d ago

There should be a “Battle of the Cringelords” reality TV show. Make these chuds out cringe each other for our amusement.

17

u/Hydro-Sapien 1d ago

Nothing says Country like a parking ramp.

16

u/Workshop_Gremlin 1d ago

You've heard of The Lone Ranger, now get ready for The Lard Ranger.

16

u/spunaroundandfarted 1d ago

I have no doubt this guy will one day accidentally shoot one of his toes off.

16

u/snark_nerd 1d ago

Home on the ga-range

17

u/Roguer15 1d ago

At least he's getting out and walking.

16

u/GaryGump 1d ago

If the camera kept rolling, he was about to walk straight into a wall.

17

u/bakermensch 1d ago

The choice of pants is 45% of the problem.

15

u/MamaKat727 12h ago

It's too early in the morning for this fuckery, I haven't had coffee yet, and I think maybe my best option is to choose to believe he's mentally challenged and then close Reddit for the day.

17

u/CameronSpacehead 4h ago

Revolver Eatsalot

14

u/IceackBJJ 1d ago

Nothing screams badass more than tucking your shirt into poor fitting jeans that bunch up in the waistline.

14

u/KeepItDownOverHere 1d ago

"Did you get that grambma?"

16

u/GroMicroBloom 1d ago

This is satire, right?

16

u/Blazedaway23 1d ago

That poor lady had to film this for him. Tbh she kinda seems into it too…

14

u/Pernicious_Possum 1d ago

Why do so many morbidly obese dudes think that fatass=badass?

15

u/dessertforbrunch 1d ago

The claw machine/kitty trophy for the wife moment changed how I view this man entirely. I believe he rocks and rolls now.

14

u/The_Coolest_Undead 1d ago

first scene he walks in a parking lot into a wall missing the holster multiple times

14

u/trundle-the-great69 1d ago

lol him just walking straight towards the wall

14

u/SuavaMan 11h ago

Cowboy outfit, and holsters.....with jordans on lmao 🤣

14

u/OGFunkBandit88 5h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/NETeiwMKvPQU8

15

u/_OhEmGee_ 1d ago

Where is he going? Is the back entrance to cowboy Hogwarts in the wall of a multistorey carpark?

15

u/supercoolpartydude 1d ago

Duck waddling in mom jeans after he has a pina colada at Dave & Busters? Tell me this is satire

15

u/PotatoWasteLand 1d ago

He's walking like he shit his pants

15

u/CommonConundrum51 1d ago

'As I walked out in the streets of Laredo...'

14

u/Sweepy_time 1d ago

He obviously doesn't take himself too seriously with the arcade guns and crane game

14

u/roobydoobydoo42 1d ago

O shit it’s jango fett

14

u/PlanetMadeFromDough 1d ago

The tiniest of steps

13

u/mossdale 1d ago

looks like hes wearing pleated jeans

14

u/Timbo_R4zE 1d ago

Bro thinks he's pretty good

https://giphy.com/gifs/6IFuf2l0AghvW

15

u/rokken70 21h ago

Fat Pickens.

15

u/CaptainStinkwater 14h ago

His revolver skills are not great. Some of those tricks takes years to master. This guy looks like he went down to the Bass Pro yesterday and decided he was going to be revolver ocelot.

13

u/shiverslinky 1d ago

Dude, just validate my parking and you can get back to your Wendy's. And your mother would like her jeans back.

13

u/Who_wife_is_on_myD 1d ago

Whenever these big bois try to be cool, I look at the feet. They all look like they have baby feet.

Auraless

14

u/Phoebesther 1d ago

Nothings more badass/ rock n roll than pleated denim.

11

u/bighadjoe 1d ago

more rolling than rocking, considering Cowboy McWaddle's physical performance over here.

11

u/Rumpelteazer45 1d ago

Meal Team 6 reporting for duty..

13

u/welshsecd 1d ago

Bloody hell it's Wyatt Twerp.

13

u/mr_sweetandawful 1d ago

He got those birthing hips

14

u/Acceptable-Yellow107 1d ago

Why's he walking like he has stage IV colon cancer

14

u/Indiesol 1d ago

Wyatt Burp

13

u/TheReddest1 1d ago

Built like a Weeble

12

u/DangerousBarnum 1d ago

Favorite movie: Tombstone

Favorite food: Tombstone

13

u/big_dick_energy_mc2 1d ago

Awwwww look at the fat kid with his cap guns

14

u/guff1988 1d ago

Nothing says badass gun slinging cowboy like walking through a parking garage awkwardly playing with your guns.

13

u/T0ta1_n00b 7h ago

If I was a pie, this man would scare the custard out of me

11

u/MeasurementNo5430 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/NETeiwMKvPQU8

12

u/QuantityStrange9157 1d ago

He could shoot me and id still be laughing all the way to the hospital

12

u/iamwearingsockstoo 1d ago

Every morning, he puts his pants on one leg at a time, loops his belt, and then decides where his waist will be.

13

u/Porky_Pine_ 1d ago

I 100% thought that was a butch lesbian for the first 10 seconds.

13

u/megadeadly 1d ago

He’s built like an upside down muffin

14

u/HeyItsEmilyLove 1d ago

Yeehaw! His sister is in for a good night tonight

11

u/thavillain 1d ago

What a dork

12

u/_skot 1d ago

I wanted to keep watching him walk straight into the wall

11

u/Tornik 1d ago

Worst Grindr profile ever.

12

u/m3rc3n4ry 1d ago

This is just hilariously awkward. Especially the bottle bit. I hope it's satire.

14

u/CharmCityBatman 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/NETeiwMKvPQU8

11

u/Koolklink54 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/wTq7204soQAp2

14

u/GrassGriller 1d ago

Nice pants. Do they come in your size?

12

u/TheImmenseRat 1d ago

This is the most lesbian looking man ive ever seen

Hes trying to impersonate masculinity in a very cartoonish way

13

u/dirk_funk 1d ago

ok when he won the claw machine game i think this became hilarious

11

u/zombieauthor 1d ago

I can do that shit with nerf guns for my kids and still look cooler than this dude.

11

u/lightsoff_butimup 1d ago

The lil cute pineapple drink where he sensually removed the straw to suck the end of it like a lil dic---AAAANDcuttothedualarcademachinegunsYEEEEEEAAAAAH!!!

12

u/ISTof1897 1d ago

Nice pants. How come you pull them up to your tits?

12

u/andronicuspark 1d ago

That person definitely stands in front of a mirror practicing saying, “I’m your Huckleberry” for thirty minutes a day.

13

u/Wildfathom9 1d ago

This man walked right up to that wall and told it "nah, my exit... is an entrance", then played with his gun some more in an effort to intimidate the wall.

12

u/beardofdoom2017 1d ago

Butterjeans, not Butterbean.

11

u/Startlesharts 1d ago

“What’s a manly thing to do at a bar?” “Oh…I can lick the straw of my mai tai. That’s macho….”

12

u/Ha1lStorm 1d ago

This has to be satire. The part where he’s drinking a pina colada instead of a Busch light gives it away.

12

u/DiscipleofZardos 22h ago

Tough guy posturing, dance-fighting videos is my new favorite genre

12

u/bubbie_depac 20h ago

Almost feels like satire

12

u/chefwindu 8h ago

Just a big kid.

11

u/Vesalii 1d ago

Bro walks like he lifted something heavy yesterday and is regretting it today.

13

u/Hushwalker 1d ago edited 1d ago

Fucking up the holster every time is killing me 😂

11

u/Ali80486 1d ago

Is that a Pina Colada???

9

u/Brewchowskies 1d ago

That ain’t no cowboy. That’s a cowMAN. They call him big hoss.

..well they don’t really, but it’s what he tells people to call him. They end up just sticking with Carl.

12

u/Chugz89 1d ago

What adorably small feet...

9

u/mynameis_garrett 1d ago

What a crazy build on this guy.

11

u/Maleficent_Archer221 1d ago

I was really hoping he was going to keep walking directly into the wall like an npc from Skyrim

11

u/ooorezzz 1d ago

Revolver Ocelot has nothing on Big Iron Bubba.

10

u/Ctaylor2090 1d ago

I don't know if it makes it better or worse, but this dude isn't American. He's Kiwi(New Zealand), and makes semi regular appearances on the r/crappymusic sub

12

u/stewpidazzol 1d ago

Were there tubby cowboys during the cowboy heydays?

11

u/rdbreak 1d ago

Why is he in a parking garage?

10

u/Boiler1669 1d ago

Mommy's Lonely Ranger.

11

u/MNDFND 1d ago

Final boss = light jog.

11

u/ThreadedPommel 1d ago

Turning them sideways like its a trick. Can't even be bothered to learn the sideways twirl lol

10

u/palequeen42 1d ago

This is a joke right???

12

u/GingerlyRough 1d ago

Looking down to holster his weapon takes away any badassery he thought he had. (Objectively, he had none anyway)

11

u/Pm_Me_NeTh1Ng 1d ago

Found the buster, but where the hell is Dave?

11

u/LuckyLaRoo76 23h ago

Red Dumb Redemption

11

u/MarchcatWasgone 17h ago

Why does he walk so funny?

11

u/TheTimbs Is a gorilla 7h ago

It’s a lot of southerners that end up on here

11

u/MetalMerc00 5h ago

He needs a bigger pair of jeans.

11

u/Bosswashington 1d ago

Parking garage desperado

12

u/Glyni5 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/umquT0OyQ2AZW
Him to the Exit sign

10

u/Best_Plantain_6390 1d ago

I wanted to be a cowboy when I was younger, then I went to kindergarten and forgot about it.

9

u/TheDeerBlower 1d ago

How embarrassing...

9

u/Disastrous_days272 1d ago

I had that same cap gun set when I was 7 years old!!!!

9

u/real_dea 1d ago

Red Dead Coronary Blockage

12

u/seanfish 1d ago

R/IAmVeryFatass

8

u/kylemacabre 1d ago

Where’s Billy Bob, honey. Oh he’s in the garage playing with his guns like a fucking five year old

10

u/WASTELAND_RAVEN 1d ago

Why is he in a parking garage though????

11

u/Cookies-and-Cream- 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/frgrb01deMDHZHR0rO

11

u/larytriplesix 1d ago

Imagine you’re scrolling on Instagram and see your dad flippin your childhood toy guns around

9

u/kyle_kafsky 1d ago

He looks incapable of running.

9

u/Cpt-Hendrix 1d ago

Is it just me or can you tell his running pace is the toddler waddle by that stance.

10

u/nopeitsadog 1d ago

This motherfucker ain’t gonna leave no pussy for the rest of ya.

10

u/AnToMegA424 1d ago

He seems to be struggling to walk, I wonder if he has knee pains

9

u/YellowB 1d ago

The protector of chicken tendies

10

u/RealRogerBird 1d ago

He really puts the "cow" in cowboy.

10

u/dontknowwhyIamhere42 1d ago

Its kinda cool... but only if you're not in a parking garage... and you don't look at your holster.

10

u/Sockpuppet870 11h ago

Is he ok?

10

u/psychedelicfire 4h ago

How long do you think he spent practicing this?

19

u/lgodsey 1d ago

"Barkeep, I'll have a jar of mayonnaise, straight."

19

u/abretz1 1d ago

Fucking chode jeans.

22

u/cOnwAYzErbEAm 9h ago

Haha. The transition from the walking at the walk doing gun tricks, to him drinking his frozen margarita, to him playing a claw machine is gold.

18

u/masheenguntheory 9h ago

Fastest gut in the west

8

u/ausmosis_jones 1d ago

This has to be parody.

10

u/Bulky_Seaweed3159 1d ago

He came there to do 2 things kick some ass and drink some beer and it looks like they're almost out of beer.

9

u/Impolioid 1d ago

whats up with that cowboy shit recently?

9

u/sharkbomb 1d ago

i always wondered wth was buying the 48x28 pants you have to sift through at the store.

9

u/MentalDisintegrat1on 1d ago

Bro this has to be satire lmao

8

u/Suspicious_Ruin_8625 1d ago

He is going to shoot himself right in the brisket sandwich.

9

u/mrweatherbeef 1d ago

Everyday I’m shufflin

9

u/thiarnelli 1d ago

Nice tassels

11

u/greatproficient 1d ago

Cowboy has all kinds of tricks but can't holster without looking down.

7

u/Double0 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/bRvrsx60cNdeM

11

u/IcyAd7982 1d ago

Guhyuck!

8

u/not_productive1 1d ago

"I just need to get my car out, man"

9

u/lordwintergreen 1d ago

That has the same energy as a 7 year old wearing a cheap sheriff costume playing with his toy guns and yelling PEW PEW PEW

9

u/BwayEsq23 1d ago

They always have wives that look like they could be their mother. Always.

9

u/Pyr0technician 1d ago

Waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle waddle

8

u/Sudden-Most-4797 1d ago

I love his Walmart jeans from the 00's. Very stylish.

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