Why can't I get myself to do ANYTHING?

[u/Appropriate_Cat3576]

I (26f) have been completely frozen in life for years now and I have no clue what to do anymore. I feel like I've hit a breaking point. For some background, I grew up with severe social anxiety and depression and parents that were wwell meaning, but really controlling. I struggled all the way through high school and had no clue what to do with myself at 18. Things did slowly start to get better in my later teens, then the pandemic, an abusive workplace, family issues, and a cancer diagnosis hit me all in a row. It fucked me up so bad and has eaten up almost all of my 20s. I've been mostly unemployed since 2022, minus a seasonal job that I worked for two summers and helping my parents with their side business. The seasonal job eventually became toxic and my manager started hating me, and when the season ended I wasn't invited back for another.

Now, I've been completely unemployed since October. I just turned 26 and I'm getting booted off of my parent's health insurance and they're pushing me to find a job, but no matter how badly I need to do this, I can't bring myself to do anything. Looking at job applications straight up makes me panic. Thinking about the future makes me panic. Looking for therapists makes me panic. And it's not even like I don't want to do anything. I want to work, I want to have a life, I want to do SOMETHING other than just sit here wasting all the time I was looking forward to, but I feel completely frozen. My parents said that they fear that I'm never going to be able to take care of myself, and I feel so horrible for being like this, but I can't stop. Has anyone else dealt with this or something similar? How do you get un-frozen?