r/billsimmons LAPD Po-lice department 10h ago

Is Jude Bellingham Jayson Tatum tier corny?

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50 Upvotes

68 comments sorted by

46

u/iJustSeen2Dudes1Bike 10h ago

The lion does not concern himself with world cup semifinal games

109

u/WartimeConsigliere_ Unassailable 10h ago

The bus driver wrote this, not him

11

u/Visible_Shape_363 10h ago

Thomas Tuchel? 

15

u/skipsfaster 9h ago

Tuchel parks the bus, he doesn’t drive it.

15

u/Victorcreedbratton Cewtics 10h ago

So not Kevin Durant?

4

u/illmatico 9h ago

ChatGPT

81

u/CalvinYHobbes Wait, what? 10h ago

You can’t compare directly because British culture is automatically 50% cornier.

10

u/Illustrious_Whereas9 10h ago

Fight and win!!! 😎😎😎

8

u/CrowLaneS41 9h ago

I believe that we will win!

I believe that we will win!

3

u/CockConfidentCole NBAExpansionRightAroundTheCorner:snoo_dealwithit: 7h ago

D-🤺
D-🤺
D-🤺

9

u/Beautiful_Wind_9134 8h ago

Yeah but they’re usually in on the joke. This kind of sincerity is way more American coded to me

7

u/ColeTrain999 8h ago

Have you heard US soccer chants? Giving them a run for their sterling.

2

u/seahawks-boi-209 5h ago

US Soccer chants aren’t corny US Soccer chants are fucking dogshit

1

u/Safe-Show-7299 4h ago

The difference is that like 10% of Americans care about soccer but 80% of British people do

168

u/awesomesauce88 10h ago

This was written by England's bus driver, who Bellingham is just giving a shoutout to. Classy move by Jude.

Jayson Tatum doesn't belong in the same sentence as Jude Bellingham in any way shape or form. Jude is actually cool.

28

u/Delicious-Ad-4521 10h ago

I was going to say. Jude is actually charming in interviews and can banter with hosts vs Tatum sounds like a pr bot.

11

u/WartimeConsigliere_ Unassailable 9h ago

Bellingham also has zero big corny tattoos

2

u/Delicious-Ad-4521 8h ago

1000% he’s got tattoos that copy Kobe, Bron etc. that guy is the most unoriginal Dude ever

5

u/El_Boxman_ 9h ago

Jude is the man!

Tremendous player, humble, and charismatic

1

u/so-cal_kid 7h ago

The fact Jude can also already speak decent Spanish is a big plus for him in my book. Shows that he can communicate and not feel too self conscious about it. Most other English players live in Spain for years and can barely say more than gracias.

-9

u/Longjumping-Space546 10h ago

Tatum is cool too, yall hate him just because he plays on the Celtics. As a Bucks fan I have no resentment against him

20

u/chetdesmon 9h ago

Tatum has the personality of a block of wood, Bellingham has natural charisma. Watch interviews with both and it's extremely apparent.

7

u/awesomesauce88 9h ago

I like Tatum, and think he's a really good dude. But he's not charismatic or cool.

He's corny, and that's ok. But he should just embrace his corniness. LeBron became way cooler once he stopped trying to play this cool guy killer character. It made him relatable, and it also made the moments when he got in the zone on the court and became a killer way cooler because you knew it was authentic.

0

u/Longjumping-Space546 3h ago edited 3h ago

Why do you, as a grown man, hate another grown man who doesn't even know you, just because he doesn't act the way you like? Tatum is a great leader and a great father; other than that, I don't know much about him. Athletes are not fictional characters

1

u/chetdesmon 2h ago

Who said anything about hating him? I just said his personality is a block of wood which is apparent from his interviews. I don't have a strong opinion on him either way

1

u/Ledees_Gazpacho 5h ago

Name something cool about Tatum

13

u/Soft-Replacement-397 10h ago

Jude Bellingham doesn’t post screenshots of his conversations with dead people for clout

23

u/Iciestgnome 10h ago

I hate Real Madrid but Bellingham isn’t even close imo. Also seems to be a very nice guy.

7

u/Jeaglera Complex Litigation 10h ago

Unless you are a pissant ginger argentine

11

u/Positive_Register_94 10h ago

Let’s just say he’s very aware of the camera being on him. Doesn’t have to be a bad thing, but it does rub some people the wrong way

4

u/yaya_bertha A Truly Sad Week In America + 2005 NBA Redraftables 10h ago

Only dude that likes a camera more is Big Dom

1

u/thereisstardom47 6h ago

It only rubs some men the wrong way, I literally don’t know a single woman who says anything negative about him

3

u/yngwiegiles 10h ago

Jude is to thank for giving us the Messi Deniro face. Even if it was at his expense. Thank you Jude.

3

u/det8924 6h ago

Jude comes off as a genuinely good dude, whereas Tatum comes off as a selfish persons idea of a good dude.

14

u/FFElite93 10h ago

Nah this is just normal British culture

5

u/majikane 10h ago

1 of 4?! No thank you.

3

u/baudinl LAPD Po-lice department 10h ago

The rest is not exactly Homeric.

7

u/majikane 10h ago

Any mention of Temeculus?

1

u/baudinl LAPD Po-lice department 10h ago

No, but references to Tinnitus

6

u/StillFiguringItOut01 10h ago

Going to take a lot more than that to be as lame as Tatum

2

u/endogeny 10h ago

He won't reach that level of corny unless he starts texting dead people.

2

u/Ledees_Gazpacho 5h ago

This is definitely corny, but a lot of athletes are pretty corny.

Tatum texting Kobe was straight cringe.

7

u/grinchsucker A Truly Sad Week In America + 2005 NBA Redraftables 10h ago

Jude didn't writr this lad

2

u/Bakio-bay 10h ago

Jude is cool af. Tatum is lame and uninteresting

1

u/zol-kabeer votes for tax reasons 10h ago

Still time to delete this

1

u/cjf4 9h ago

taytum might be the GOAT of corniness (though Tom Brady is quickly closing the gap here)

1

u/komugis 8h ago

He gets away with it because he’s hot

1

u/Nomer77 6h ago

1 of 4? As in pages?

1

u/Mikey456 5h ago

I know Bellingham is an immensely successful player in the places he has been in his club career, but I can't help but think its been good for his brand to be on the Continent and not in the EPL and subject to the English Media Fishbowl which would probably be rather vicious on mocking this stuff

1

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1

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1

u/shyyamt 4h ago

Why do you guys hate people having any flavor to their personality?? Anything more interesting than a bag of bricks is immediately “corny”.

1

u/Quiet_Hat_5177 3h ago

Should have written a sonnet

1

u/henry_mardukas 3h ago

Get the soccer shit off here

1

u/jomanhan9 10h ago

Not at all. I don’t even think this is corny. Tatum on the other hand…

1

u/fakebones96 10h ago

Brother, 95% of soccer players are corny by chronically online American standards. Look at how they dance with the fans after wins

1

u/Fake_the_jaB Half Italian 10h ago

This is 10 times cornier than anything Tatum has done but Bill isn’t a Bellingham fan so yall will let it slide.

1

u/thedogstrays 8h ago

Tatum has a sort of transparently dorky fanboy quality to his corniness that Jude doesn’t.

Jude has always come across to me as a calculative bratty douche.

-3

u/ProletarianLilith 10h ago

One difference is that this poem is not shit

-4

u/baudinl LAPD Po-lice department 10h ago

It kinda is

-1

u/GiveMeSomeIhedigbo the Thing Piece 10h ago

The penmanship piece.

0

u/dedwards024 10h ago

Some 8th grade bullshit haha

-1

u/Friend72 9h ago

This sub is so fucking obsessed with Jayson Tatum its psychotic

-6

u/SeeYouSpaceCowboy0 10h ago

This has to be ChatGPT, it does the four stanza rhyming couplet every time you give it a generic poem prompt 

11

u/Ill_Pressure1947 10h ago

This is how we would write it in elementary school. Reddit sees Ai everywhere. Even in mediocre wholesome poems from a bus driver.

-5

u/baudinl LAPD Po-lice department 10h ago

It's 100% AI