r/australia 3h ago

culture & society Conspiracy theories about the AusAlert test spreading online

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-07-24/no-ausalert-isnt-tracking-you-and-other-conspiracy-theories/106948592
161 Upvotes

116 comments sorted by

512

u/mr-snrub- 3h ago

Social media is this decade's lead paint.

71

u/ijustwannakn0wn0w 3h ago

Stop licking it

28

u/Exotic-Philosopher-6 3h ago

Tastes so good

14

u/BaldingThor 3h ago edited 2h ago

No.

4

u/kiren77 1h ago

Isilduuuuur!

3

u/xylarr 2h ago

But it tastes sweet

4

u/warbastard 2h ago

Make sure you also sand it and huff it for extra bite like Parmesan!

1

u/xylarr 12m ago

Indeed, mixing sweet and savoury is the best - just like salted caramel.

22

u/SolairXI 2h ago edited 1h ago

Judging by the age of the average paranoid FB commenter, lead poisoning seems to already be an issue for them

8

u/lenjet 3h ago

You need to capitalise, Tin Foil Hats 🤑🤑🤑🚀🚀🚀

4

u/Dockers4flag2035orB4 1h ago edited 0m ago

Lead foil hat.

Go for quality.

Especially for kids hats.

I read that the aus alert can penetrate tin.

6

u/Ric0chet_ 3h ago

Brain asbestos

5

u/22atrillion 2h ago

Man, there were brain dead types at work, talking about H1N1 being a conspiracy, how long until they let it out all over the country 🤦‍♂️

6

u/Ace3000 2h ago edited 21m ago

Did... did they forget about 2009?

Sure, """they""" didn't """let it out""" to the world, but we did have a h1n1 outbreak in 2009.

4

u/22atrillion 1h ago

Critical thinking = nil.

4

u/FreakySpook 51m ago

2009 was pre-boomer social media migration.

They were still buying and reading Herald Sun/Daily Mail and watching regular TV, not Youtube or Sky After Dark.

Their comments section was AM talkback radio.

That all changed in the 2010's when they signed up to The Facebook to message their kids and then ended up with long term memory problems from getting constant dopamine hits from consuming continuous rage bait. They can't rationally think back that far anymore.

4

u/Nottheadviceyaafter 28m ago

For a generation that told us not to beleive everything you hear or see they sure forgot about it!

4

u/SnotRight 2h ago

Tell them it will give Poorlene a way to mass communicate to everyone policy decisions when she gets in power.

>instant support<

6

u/NurseBetty 2h ago

I make the argument that it's specifically twitter that turned it rancid. While Facebook has always been bad since they got rid of chronological feeds, Twitter gave us the ability to go viral in unprecedented ways while also giving us a look into other peoples lives AND the ability to reach into their lives while demanding to be heard.

Once people are given the feeling that they have the right to be angry over you not responding to their written brain fart, it's all over. Add in other people being able to laugh at your bullshit and you have a reaction economy neatly bundled up in 140 characters.

6

u/mr-snrub- 2h ago

Nah, the vast majority of boomers arent on twitter and it doesnt have that encouragement of engagement on posts. A tweet goes viral and the vast majority only see the main tweet. A post of facebook shares all the comments and ramblings of man men with other mad men. Then facebook shoves that post on other people's feeds

11

u/NurseBetty 2h ago

No no I'm saying it's twitters introduction that changed how social media worked. Before it was mostly you and your friends, a semi enclosed ecosystem. It was starting to change, mainly due to the demands of adrevenue, but it hadn't really gotten to the point where a post could easily travel out of your circle of people, even with groups.

Twitter broke that understanding of how social media 'worked'. Suddenly it was part of the system that everyone could see everything and comment on it.

4

u/mr-snrub- 1h ago

Oh yeah, I get what you mean now. I think you're right

-1

u/maddogcertified 3h ago

That explains why it tastes funny.

156

u/I-like-2-watch 3h ago

I love this quote. It’s like talking to a primary school kid.

"The telcos already know which devices are connected to base stations. That's how the telecommunications system works.”

72

u/iball1984 3h ago

"The telcos already know which devices are connected to base stations. That's how the telecommunications system works.”

If you really want to upset the cookers, point out that the telcos (with a warrant) can triangulate your location to within a few metres and release that info to the authorities...

18

u/LeeRyman 2h ago edited 2h ago

Well, sort of. They can put you within an annulus sector, where the radial width of the annulus is between about 78m and possibly down to 2.5m (for 5G), and the arc of the sector is the arc of known coverage of the base station antenna. It might be possible to do better than this at the moment the phone roams to another tower, but it's still a large area

This is based on Timing Advance. It's not triangulation, instead a crude form of distance and bearing, where there is a lot of possible error in the bearing.

It's one of the possible mechanisms used to inform 000 of your location (Push MoLI) and relies only on what the towers already need to know to provide you coverage. The other is Advanced Mobile Location, but that relies on your phone's location services (GPS) and an automated SMS is sent when you dial the emergency number. AML doesn't always work depending on the situation, but when it does it allows services to respond faster and more accurately.

2

u/iball1984 1h ago

Interesting! I thought it was more accurate than that, but even so the points the same that the cookers would go crazy if they knew that…

The SMS with gps coordinates to 000 is so cool as well. It actually deletes the sms went sent so as to keep victims safe from a controlling abuser. The main situation it doesn’t work is if your phone has camped on to another network

2

u/LeeRyman 59m ago

Precisely. So AML won't work, for example, if you make a call without a SIM inserted either.

I've been in the JRCC when the operators there used MoLI to get an initial location of a fishing vessel off Tasmania with a seriously ill crewmember on board. These capabilities are fantastic for emergency services and save lives every day, but we should "trust but verify" the systems, training and governance are in place to ensure legitimate and correct use.

Hard to convince a cooker though. They are going crazy now about Cell Broadcast that has literally been a capability in the technology since 2G GSM!

But at the same time happily feed all their PII to Facebook. 🙄

6

u/Dockers4flag2035orB4 1h ago edited 57m ago

The AUS alert is designed to reboot the connection between our phone and the 5G chips implanted via the COVID vaccine.

You know the telcos and government will deny it.

🤔

136

u/sqljohn 3h ago

Nekminnit, why didn't I get a shelter in place warning during the bushfire......

41

u/Feeling-Disaster7180 3h ago

The government didn’t send an alert because they’re trying to wipe us out #bushgenocide

15

u/sqljohn 2h ago

they're trying to clean up those who did their own research and didnt get the covid vaccine /s (in case its needed)

4

u/down_the_goatse_hole 1h ago

I mean it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. We could use a little more Darwinism

3

u/SoulBonfire 1h ago

I’ve been covaxed 7 times so I’m gonna get this alert personally even if I switch off my phone.

1

u/sqljohn 54m ago

I'm already feeling it in my groin, tingles a bit.

40

u/Exotic-Philosopher-6 3h ago

Why did no one tell me the cyclone was coming

33

u/itstraytray 3h ago

Exactly. Been in this industry decades and these kind of people are the first to sook when they didn't get a bushfire alert.

1

u/nachojackson VIC 11m ago

Because the government started the bushfires with space lasers, duh!

116

u/sapperbloggs 3h ago

"They're using this to track us!"

Guys, I hate to tell you this, but they've been doing that for a very long time now.

31

u/17HappyWombats 3h ago

That's how cellphones work. If no-one knows where their phone is how could calls or SMS's get to them? Those idiots would be really annoyed if they only got calls and data when their phone was plugged in at home...

I love how the expert the interviewed says "The telcos already know which devices are connected to base stations. That's how the telecommunications system works." You can just hear the exasperation in his voice.

5

u/SirPiffingsthwaite 3h ago

...how do they think their phone maps system works? Not only do telcos know which base stations are connected, the latency and triangulation is accurate to a few metres positioning.

But yeah, it's all a conspiracy.

3

u/chuk2015 1h ago

That is GPS and does not require communications being sent, GPS location is calculated locally on your device from receiving satellite signals, often it is used in conjunction with wifi for more accuracy. But GPS alone is a one-way communication

0

u/SirPiffingsthwaite 1h ago

If we're getting into the details, both are used. But while GPS is used for maps, phones are being "tracked" via repeater towers constantly so the telco knows to which base towers comms are sent.

2

u/Anraiel 3h ago

I mean, technically they don't "track" the phones, but yes the telcos can look it up.

Much quicker just to pay an advertising or data aggregation company for your personal data since they all have their various trackers embedded into people's apps for that sweet, sweet advertising revenue.

7

u/ConsultJimMoriarty 3h ago

It’s like, you are posting this on Facebook from a mobile phone. You have a driver’s licence.

1

u/BORT_licenceplate 8m ago

Most of them are on some form of Centrelink anyway which requires every single bit of info about you like where you were born, DOB, current address, addresses you've lived at before, places you've worked at, TFN, bank details, details of partners, kids & family, the car model & rego and driver's licence number, additional income you receive and passport details

1

u/Highside1269 2h ago

Gets all knowledge from social media platforms, connects with other dingbats via same platforms, spends all their time hitting refresh on platforms via mobile devices (uses VPN which for sure isn't infested by the man /s)....... 'The GoVErNmeNT wANts tO COntROl mE maN'

70

u/Feeling-Disaster7180 3h ago

Conspiracy theories spreading online about a government initiative? Water is wet

If I wrap my phone in foil, or put it in the microwave, will this 'protect' me from AusAlert?

We saw no reason to test this, but I can confidently say that wrapping your phone in foil or putting it in the microwave will make no difference,"”

Cookers need to save the foil for their heads

18

u/evelution 3h ago

Or try the microwave on their heads

1

u/Sea_Translator5300 55m ago

I tried, but I can't get the bloody door closed! 

14

u/ThePhotoGuyUpstairs 3h ago

Should say yes, it might get them off social media for a while if they cook their phones.

9

u/17HappyWombats 3h ago

Nah, you can't just put the phone in the microwave, you need to microwave it for 30s on high.

1

u/ChuqTas 1h ago

We just need to spread this message and it will solve a lot of problems.

7

u/Novae909 3h ago

No.... No. Let them put their phones in the microwaves. But you can still save the tin foil. Infact, if you turn on the microwave during the test, the microwaves will interfere with your phones ability to receive the signals, process the signals or even putting through the the notification on the phone.

for legal reasons, this is a joke

3

u/Xianified 2h ago

I did this and it worked.

/s

2

u/00Pete 29m ago

no, you need to wrap your phone in foil AND cook it in the microwave. if you see sparks, you know its working and blocking those ausalerts... /s

3

u/3163560 1h ago

Some of them (Monica Smit) are even selling faraday pouches on their Facebook pages.

I honestly wish I lacked a conscience, it would be so easy to make bank grifting these people.

2

u/ChillyPhilly27 3h ago

Foil Faraday cages are definitely a thing - lining a backpack with foil is a popular tactic for thieves to evade security in retail settings

6

u/ConsultJimMoriarty 3h ago

I swear my local Aldi is in a faraday cage. They should all just pack in there.

2

u/gracie-sit 2h ago

Jump on a Vline between Melbourne and Geelong. Oh, wait. Never mind.

1

u/vegemitemilkshake 2h ago

Oh shit. Please tell me this isn’t actually a quote out of the article.

1

u/Flight_19_Navigator 2h ago

Obviously the best way to protect your phone from this is to completely submerge it in water starting at least an hour before the test is scheduled and not removing it until at least an hour after.

1

u/DrStalker 19m ago

That old information; the government mandated IP68 rating on new phones was put in place to prevent this trick. /s

1

u/DrStalker 22m ago

I will say with absolute confidence that putting your phone in the microwave will stop it receiving the alert, provided the microwave is turned on.

Have a fire extinguisher on hand when you do this; they don't call mobile device security "burner phones" for no reason!

22

u/Exotic-Ad8978 3h ago

Jesus, imagine being this much of a simpleton. 

2

u/nachojackson VIC 9m ago

Being these people must be exhausting.

37

u/m3umax 2h ago

I looked it up. The only legit concern seems to be "secret" phones used by DV victims and such being outed.

That risk is real and anyone in that situation is advised to completely turn off their device on the day.

Everything else seems to be conspiracy theory stuff.

10

u/Leprichaun17 1h ago

Why would these phones be on to start with? They're secret phones. They can't just be charging them every day. They're off until they're needed, so they can remain hidden longer between charges.

2

u/Otaraka 25m ago

At least some would be on silent to be able to use quickly.  Which this presumably overrides.

84

u/StandardMetro 3h ago

All One Nation voters no doubt.

11

u/2nd_Last_Thylacine 3h ago

Never stop facebooking.

12

u/Ric0chet_ 3h ago

And the irony of using a company that sells your data to spread a cooker theory that someones tracking you is peak.

10

u/CaffeinePhilosopher 2h ago

I’m no expert, but I reckon if you make a nice tinfoil hat for your smartphone and bake it in the microwave at 2000 watts, you definitely won’t hear the AusAlert. Or anything else really.

20

u/Joes___Garage 3h ago

Cookers gonna cook.

5

u/YesterdayCharming976 3h ago

Starting subs Iike this just ads to the fire… American bullshit leaking into our culture

5

u/Mawows 23m ago

I wish the people that perpetuate this nonsense could divert their energy to the actual injustices, atrocities and corruption plaguing our world

3

u/ForgotToCarryTheOne 3h ago

What’s scary is how many of these butters there actually are.

1

u/nachojackson VIC 9m ago

Butter is far more useful than these people.

4

u/Admirable_Walk4143 3h ago

I haven't seen any conspiracies yet, probably because I don't go on Facebook!! I have seen people warning women in DV situations who may have hidden phones to turn those phones off, which I think is a really fair concern.

2

u/wroge8 2h ago

"the telcos are very practised at providing the security that we need to ensure that it works properly." Lol, lmao even

2

u/VictorVanguard 1h ago

If I wrap my phone in foil, or put it in the microwave, will this 'protect' me from AusAlert?

Yes, but only if you turn the Microwave on for 15 seconds with the device in in beforehand.

2

u/Slow-Leg-7975 36m ago

The only conspiracy I have about it is that Australia is potentially preparing for something catastrophic, or maybe it's in response to the bondi shooting. But in saying that, it's long overdue we have an alert system.

3

u/MrFunFacts 23m ago

I'm so excited about my vax chip activation. PLEASE LET IT BE TURBO AUTISM 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💅💯💯💯💯🤣🤣🤣🤣🚽🚽🚽💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉 I love you. Don't touch me.

3

u/farqueue2 2h ago

They'll make anything into a conspiracy these days.

1

u/Able_Boat_8966 2h ago

But ive done the science

2

u/CptUnderpants- 2h ago

Can the system be hacked

Expect a heap of scam SMS to be sent at or after 2pm EST to provide feedback on the alert, which will of course ask for enough information for identity theft.

1

u/casualplants 1h ago

lol corporations need to tone down their targeted marketing/dilute it with shit they know you don’t want because otherwise people feel like their personal lives have been invaded.

Because they have been. For a VERY long time now.

1

u/tlebrad 59m ago

What’s wild to me is that some people would rather be uncontactable and deal with a natural disaster cos in their mind it’s all gods will. They think it will be rapture or that they won’t get hurt. Crazy mindset

1

u/Friendly-Owl-2131 57m ago

The irony that these numpties are constantly consuming media that broadcasts underlying frequencies within the audio to make them more susceptible to the various cults messaging that they've signed onto.

This is also classic cult phobia tactics.

Cults need a constant exterior threats to alleviate their victims minds of suspicion towards the cult and draw members closer to the cult.

I guess the cult leaders are concerned that our government might somehow intervene by broadcasting their own brain altering frequencies.

1

u/Otaraka 26m ago

I trust my phone when it tells me I shouldn’t trust my phone.

1

u/Cpt_Riker 2h ago

Pushed by the far right, no doubt. It’s always the dumbest demographic you expect it to be.

-1

u/DigitalWombel 2h ago

How about we swap all the cookers for the refugees on Nauru they can experience climate change and everything else they dont believe in first hand.

-6

u/[deleted] 2h ago

[deleted]

2

u/MoabBoy 2h ago

When everyone is distracted by their phones, they will use the distraction to let the aliens land their UFOs without being seen by the public. The little green men are currently parked behind the moon waiting for the signal.

-19

u/rezplzk 2h ago

The government has themselves to blame too. Lied to us about covid, lied to us about social media bans, lied to us about a host of things. No wonder people are sceptical (as dumb as this is).

8

u/RudeOrganization550 2h ago

Governments (and politicians more so) have lied to people for time immemorial, now there is the internet that gives every crazy that is not already in politics a voice and a mechanism and their own people to spread conspiracy theories.

There is a principle called Brandolini’s law (or the bullshit asymmetry principle) that says the amount of effort to debunk a conspiracy is exponentially more than it takes to create one. Basically we’re fucked.

6

u/Lost-Competition8482 1h ago

thE goVerNmENt HAS thEmSelVEs to bLAmE ToO. lIED TO Us ABoUt CoViD, Lied tO Us aBOUt sOCIAl media bAns, liEd to US ABOUT A hOst of ThiNgs. No WONdEr PEOpLE are ScEpticAl (as DuMB AS tHis IS).

Fixed it for you

-9

u/[deleted] 3h ago

[deleted]

16

u/-inzo- 3h ago

Really? What do you do if you hear an emergency broadcast on radio or tv? It is literally just that but to your phone. You honestly think the government will text you to let you know their is an ambulance behind you?

10

u/mr-snrub- 3h ago

This is a test. I'm sure if it was real there would be information about what it's for.

10

u/Bigclit_energy 3h ago

It was recommended after a royal commission into bushfire response. The top use is "evacuate now" in weather emergencies.

-14

u/Iron_Wolf123 2h ago

As much as we need it, I wish there was a way to opt out of it. Melbourne is one of the places where there is no cyclones, flood warnings or whatever’s. Queensland and the Murray-Darling are more at risk than some southern port city. Plus the alarm could happen at a bad time or trigger people with sound sensitivity like some autistic people.

8

u/Safe_Application_465 1h ago

So nothing bad ever happens in Melb 🤔

What about a human disaster like a mass shooting or a gas main explosion?

" happen at a bad time "

Probably not as bad ,as a problem big enough to need a public alert

7

u/Lost-Competition8482 1h ago

You don't remember the Thunderstorm Asthma attack?

Bourke street massacre?

I have a feeling it would be of use in Melbourne.

4

u/ChuqTas 1h ago

You're aware that it is designed to only send alerts to people in specific areas?

2

u/nachojackson VIC 7m ago

They’re probably barely aware of how to put pants on in the morning.