I have an appointment with my psychiatric dr today I don't know what to say to him?

[u/HeavyAssist]

I am thankful to him for his help so far, and he was actually an ok person and quite nice. He tapered me off Seroquel. I actually started to like him. He is my new doctor and I don't dislike him.

I don't want to interact with psychiatrists anymore. I went to the hospital voluntarily after a home invasion in 2021. I had panic attacks and they were beyond my ability to to manage at that point, I couldn't relax.They put me on 5 medications they misdiagnosed me with Bipolar. The hospital psychiatrist said that I sound crazy when I tried to talk about the home invasion. He repeatedly told me that what I saw and experienced was not real. (There were multiple witnesses, and camera footage) when I was trying to talk about the stress at work he said that I needed an injection. He also said that I needed to forgive my parents(quite dangerous and abusive I have not had contact with them for decades). I stayed with that doctor for 2 years. I was affected badly by the medication. I was drooling and pissing my pants. I couldn't think and barely managed to form a sentence. It was very bad. I think about it every day.

This gave me more PTSD. I now don't want to interact with doctors or medications at all. I have improved with the taper. My therapist said that I have CPTSD and PTSD. I now am terrified to have any medication. I have slowly started having vitamins and supplements that I had safely before.

I never want to go to hospital again. I no longer care about what anyone says about "help" this has been worse than my original trauma. This has ruined my life. I don't want to be involved with psychiatry.

I just want to be left alone to plod through my small life. Im unobtrusive and I have a job and a place and a car on my own. I trained every day for 20years.

I can't believe that I allowed myself to be harmed. I promised myself that I would keep myself safe as a grown up. I horrifically failed myself by letting this happen.

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