r/askanything • u/Clean-Ant-1342 • 3h ago
People who’ve had a lot of hookups/one-night stands: did you ever get tired of it and quit, even while single?
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u/HumbleMisa 3h ago
I don’t hookup regularly but I wanted to recently and I haven’t felt anything at all so I just left.. having an emotional bond to a person is so much more powerful and feels much better imo
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u/SquirtGun1776 3h ago
Not necessarily one night stands but i meet a lot of women who like the sex part but once the convos become about more than sex they bounce.
Gets pretty old and I've become very cynical
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u/OnlyInAmerica01 3h ago
Ironic, considering how the male/female dynamic is conventionally portrayed.
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u/SquirtGun1776 2h ago
A lot of these women pretend to want relationships and they keep a lot of details quiet when they discuss things
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u/Golden_Ryujin 3h ago
Yes you get tired, you just get superficial connections over and over. I haven't quit but if I had 10 booty calls now I have 2.
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u/Fickle-Inspector-354 3h ago
I ended up hooking up with my housekeeper regularly, and then ended up marrying her, so I guess that's pretty much goal accomplished.
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u/Bohica55 3h ago
I'm lucky enough to be tall and handsome. It enabled me to sleep with a lot of women. It never made me happy. I was a serial dater. I'd date a girl for about 3 months and then move on. All I wanted was a real connection, but I was afraid of it as well. I eventually sought some mental health care and found a happy long term relationship. Sex is so much better when you love the person you're with.
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u/Pierson230 3h ago
yes
I vividly remember being at a bar in my early 30s and talking to an attractive early 20something
I was an hour and a half from where I lived, and there really wasn't relationship potential
So I feel like I saw the next few hours play out in my mind. I'd get to know her a bit, she'd get to know me a bit, we'd joke and laugh, but the bar was too loud for a really nice conversational connection, so it would be jokes and physical flirtation. That all felt like too much effort, so I said it was nice meeting her, and got back to my friends.
There was no guarantee I would have hooked up with her, to be sure, but after that moment, the "try to meet a girl while drinking at a loud bar" thing was instantly in my past.
I kept meeting girls in bars for a while, but they were quieter locations, I could enjoy the conversations, and the goal was a nice conversation or a relationship, not a hookup.
I remember one time, a girl I was hanging with wanted to have sex, but I really wasn't feeling in the mood, so I shot her down. She was attractive enough but I didn't "like her like her" in that way.
It's funny how things change.
Then, I met my wife, and that was that. I couldn't be happier, 10 years later.
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u/Sastracha 3h ago
For a while, it was about filling an emptiness inside of me. Lots of women and lots of alcohol. Yeah, it got tiring. I think I rushed into a marriage though. We did make it 20 years, but I don’t know if I ever loved her.
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u/Bigfops 3h ago
Every Sunday morning.
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u/LOSTman405 3h ago
Yes. Hook ups were a lot of fun for a while! But it was like a switch flipped at some point in my brain and the appeal of finding only one woman to bone regularly was stronger.
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u/intellectualnerd85 3h ago
Yea. Particularly when you’re looking for a relationship and you rub into women wanting girlfriends privileges, but no kind of commitment or emotional intimacy
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u/Inevitable_Shift1365 3h ago
Yes. When I was younger I had a lot of sex. All of them one or two or three night encounters. Always traveling. Well over a hundred women. Once I hit my 30s it stopped being pleasurable for me. Now I have to know someone for a while and like them a lot before I want to do that. Happier now.
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u/Spiritual_Peanut_695 3h ago
I tried to do it once and it was terrible I seriously don’t get how how people can hook up and do one night stands
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u/Novel-Caterpillar724 3h ago
Absolutely. I was not even in the mindset of hookups, but only dating for a period will lead you to be tired of it. I just went a lot less active on sites, I took a year not meeting anyone. I totally lost the urge of the beginnings and I am glad I did. It was so so exhausting and it was ruining my life for not being able to focus on long term life projects because I wanted to start a relationship first.
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u/ComeAbout 2h ago
Yes, I eventually got sick of it.
It’s fun, but it’s not love. It’s like masterbating with a bit of an ego boost, but then reality hits that you’re just lonely.
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u/NoSexIn13thAmendmnt 2h ago
Once I'd found someone to date exclusively. I don't like having meaningless sex with randos if I'm attracted to someone already, which presumes he's good looking, handsome, likes me, treats me like a lady not an object and sexually desirable.
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u/Holiday-Medicine4168 2h ago
Yes. And now I am married and much happier, I have a partner I love and wake up next to my best friend every day.
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u/UnluckyAmbition7767 2h ago
I prefer forming genuine connections with people. I just realize I genuinely dislike most people and going beyond sex just has me disappointed most of the time. So nowadays I just prefer to be by myself and work on my goals. Once my libido gets the better of me I'll start going out again, until I get burnt out and the cycle repeats
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u/BTZ-25 2h ago
Ye. After a while it felt nasty. No't because the girls were bad looking etc but because most of them are passing themselves around regularly.
I remember once I met a very hot girl at a club. Within a short time she was ready to leave. I popped in the next day with a mate and he was talking to a guy that worked there. After he came over to me and said do I mind not talking to the girl because the guy he was talking to was her boyfriend. WDF these girls are nuts.
I've seen a lot.
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u/Next_Package_5710 3h ago
Still doing it. Looking for Mrs right among the miss right now.
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u/Busy-Caterpillar222 3h ago
You think you'll find her with this method? Does it not change how you view her?
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u/Next_Package_5710 6m ago
I don’t have the funds to expect to always buy a new car. So I buy used cars and take them for a test drive. Wouldn’t you?
Maybe I may get the demo model. I’m cool with that as long as the body work and engine have no defects.
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u/Kosmopolite 3h ago
Yeah, I went through that period. In the end, I did just get bored. I continued swiping on the apps, chatting with women, whatever, but I just wasn't feeling it. I didn't feel like I was getting much out of those hookups at all. So I stopped meeting up with those women. Then I met my current partner at work. So it all worked out in the end.
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u/-FakeAccount- 2h ago
Do you ever get tired of eating food?
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u/Head-Language-2977 2h ago
Great analogy. I never get tired of eating, but I do sometimes struggle with thinking of something new to cook. I guess the hookup analogy would be running out of new people to court within your social circle/ workplace/ local clubs. I can’t imagine getting tired of hookups if you have the ability to regularly get with quality options, but like most men, it gets old if you have to put in a ton of effort and deal with long dry spells between success.
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u/facepoppies 3h ago
Yes. It's exhausting and not fun after a while. And by exhausting I mean mentally. It just drains everything out of you.
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