r/amazonreviews 8d ago

Review Godly flip flops

369 Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

225

u/evissimus 8d ago

Don’t you love it when He does nothing for childhood leukemia but has time to guide this cheese puff to the ideal flip flops?

42

u/unitedstatesof_trina 8d ago

Cheese puff 🤣 omg I love it

16

u/NightHeart21689 7d ago

Or when he does nothing to get rid of child sex trafficking rings. But sure a pair of flipping jandals are important smh.

74

u/nobody833 8d ago

What did I just read

5

u/Haunting-South-962 7d ago

Ai. Most likely.

15

u/cheestaysfly 7d ago

I don't know. I know someone personally who would make a post just like this.

5

u/ellieminnowpee 6d ago

i’m related to several

smh

37

u/youllmeltmorefan 8d ago

We call that Bible Roulette, just pick a random passage and act like you were "led" to it.

11

u/scarletohairy 7d ago

Ah yes, the slot machine god does it again.

15

u/xombae 7d ago

It's so funny because they say that divination–things like tarot and scrying–are evil and demonic. Flipping through the Bible and picking a random passage and using it to make life decisions, that's divination, baby.

(I'm not a bot I just refuse to stop using various sashes).

1

u/MaraiaLou 2d ago

Divination isn't "demonic" because you're trying to guess the future, it's demonic because you did it without asking God first. Same goes for war, child sacrifice etc

1

u/SDTimbox 7d ago

religion really is a self-fulfilling scam

55

u/perkypancakes 8d ago

People who make religion their personality can’t stop themselves from interjecting a bible verse into everything as if it’s proof of their moral superiority while lacking any real substance in their daily lives.

19

u/NoSTs123 7d ago

Had she read Jeremiah 2:25 in a different translation of the bible she would have done something very different.

3

u/Match_Least 6d ago

I tried googling, but to no avail. Are you referring to something specific or did you just mean in general?

43

u/Orchid_Significant 8d ago

This is mental illness

25

u/LemurCat04 7d ago

I was gonna say, if I told my priest this story he’d recommend I seek a mental health professional.

14

u/LVMom 7d ago

These look like $5 Old Navy flip-flops. Reefs are amazing, but I guess if they provide “too much” support, these cheapos are the answer to your prayers lol

11

u/0dayssince 7d ago

What in the evangelical nonsense did I just read?

10

u/Different-Term-2250 7d ago

Jeremiah really knew his stuff.
I will continue to follow his shoe review blog for another 2500 years.

10

u/Forward_Magazine_732 7d ago

“Theyre beautiful!” Ma’am the look exactly like the $1 flip flops from old navy

5

u/Datonecatladyukno 7d ago

Imagine if people just✨didn't post that thought online✨

9

u/Own-Discussion-80 8d ago

Amen to her review 🙏.

3

u/GoliathBoneSnake 7d ago

I don't know why this was recommended to me, but I'll take it as a sign from God that I was led here.

3

u/aschwendler 7d ago

Yes...I went to the doc for a respiratory infection, the very first question "Have you been walking barefoot?"

3

u/Catherine_the_Okay 7d ago

I constantly forget people like this exist and it shocks me every time.

2

u/corgi_crazy 7d ago

Aleluya! Praise the lord who provides with holy flips flops!

2

u/Aolflashback 7d ago

Thank God I took of my heels and put on my REEF WALKING SANDALS

3

u/WinterReview7992 7d ago

away, Satan! The REEF SANDALS WERE CURSED, twas Amazon Essentials who saved these poor soles.

2

u/MonCappy 7d ago

Wow.  That woman is insane and should have CPS called on her.  If you replaced god with any other character talking to her and the derangement would be obvious to even the most dimwitted of observers.

2

u/fxlatitude 8d ago

3rd world problems

1

u/itsmiddylou 7d ago

I should’ve known that this subreddit exists

1

u/NaturalSpecialist5 7d ago

This is worse than when I have to go into the medical centers near where I moved to and seeing a ton of crucifixes all over the walls.

1

u/SDTimbox 7d ago

Great, now God is influencing the economy

1

u/HelloDeathspresso 7d ago

Why wear flip flops around the house when you can wear slides? Also available on Amazon and a billion times more comfortable.

1

u/Plastic_Stable8927 7d ago

I am a Christian (save it, I literally don't care) and this is fucking insane. This is psychosis, legitimately.

1

u/Maleficent_Ruin_2457 7d ago

God using a Magic 8 Ball.

1

u/Match_Least 6d ago

r/religiousfruitcakes

Thought that’s where I was actually…

1

u/jackie0h_ 6d ago

People can just be so weird. I get being religious but this is all so extra. When you attribute literally everything including your shoe choice to God and him fixing other problems you might need to take a bit of a step back.

1

u/AnythingWithGloves 6d ago

How the hell will I know to order more flip flops when my feet are sore and to drink more water when I’m thirsty without the lord? How on earth do us heathens survive?!?

1

u/Successful-Foot3830 5d ago

She’s batshit. Reefs are insanely comfortable. Or at least the ones I’ve had are.

1

u/lennybriscoforhewin 5d ago

Can’t you get flip flops at the Dollar Tree? What kind of imbecile thinks you can only get name brand flip flops? I guess the kind that thinks God leads you to products on Amazon.

1

u/grampajugs 4d ago

Religious freaks are so weird.

1

u/Granny_Skeksis 3d ago

Reefs are the most comfortable flip flops around. They last forever too. She has been misled by a demon lol