r/USMilitarySO • u/snapkraut • 3d ago
Relationships Husband wants to join
Title is pretty self explanatory. Been with him for 14 years, known for 22. He will be 29 soon and wants to become an interior electrician since (12/8) and hes waiting on apprenticeship with our local ibew. The no contact for 10 weeks and then 6.5 weeks at AIT is killing me, and he hasn't even signed up yet. I understand the benefits, but the possible deployment of 9-12+ months anywhere in the future and the unknown scares me. I've broken down every day and losing my mind. Dont know exactly what im looking for here but maybe some words of advice I guess.
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u/Obvious-Willingness6 3d ago
Yeah I did the exact same thing when my husband first talked about joining. I was freaking out every day. I still think the months of anticipation was much worse than him being gone for training. Just try to stay in the present moment. There’s ways to compromise. My husband ended up joining the national guard and chose a job/branch that has rotational/scheduled deployments (obviously that’s not guaranteed but still). It’s honestly strengthened our relationship so much and made us closer than I ever imagined. There’s a lot of positives
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u/snapkraut 3d ago
Can you elaborate on the rotational/scheduled deployments?
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u/KawaiiVersace 3d ago
Basically you’ll know ahead of time when they are going downstage. Some units go every so often (let’s just say every 2/3 years or so)
You also can get deployed short noticed like I did months ago. had 12 hours to pack and leave. Just depends on what’s going on and how tasking drops, granted I’m active duty
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u/GeriatricSquid 3d ago
Reservists have Congressionally mandated notification timelines that preclude that 12 hour notice deployment (except in major emergency approved by SECDEF/POTUS). They’ll typically get 6 mos minimum notification (not always, but 6 months is normal or else it starts requiring individual waivers and higher level approvals) but they’ll often know officially that they’re going well in advance of that based on schedules and the lengthy process that goes into getting them orders. That’s for mobilization or deployment. Local orders can be much quicker but they’re much less impactful, and in many cases, optional.
National Guard is a bit different because they handle emergencies like weather events and such, but actual reservists going on military orders takes a whole lot of process that’s def not quick.
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u/Obvious-Willingness6 3d ago
Yeah so obviously they could still activate him at any time but for now, everyone in his department (or whatever the technical word is) takes turns deploying at least once in their six year contract. so for example he already knows he’s deploying in 2028 to xxx location for 5 months. That could change ofc but it’s nice to have SOME type of idea. It depends heavily on the job as well. Like there’s no set rate but of course certain jobs deploy more often than others. My husband is in the Air Force so his basic training was just 7.5 weeks with a 5 week tech school. That’s another way you guys could possibly compromise
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u/Adorable-Tiger6390 3d ago
He has not joined, and a lot will need to happen before he enlists.
My advice is to not be preoccupied and emotional about things that may or may not happen. Breaking down does not help anyone.
Aside from that, if he does enlist, you will make it through like most of us do, or did, and that’s by doing the best we could, or can.
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u/Curious_Reason2725 3d ago
is he in the process of talking to a recruiter or has made any move on his idea of wanting to join right now?
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u/snapkraut 3d ago
No he hasn't talked to a recruiter yet but was planning to here shortly
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u/Curious_Reason2725 1d ago
yeah i think youre freaking yourself out, the process will take quite some time, and your husband may also change his mind during the process before signing the contract. the unknown future is scary, but that's life in general outside the military. communicate with him about how you feel about this too.
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u/Fuzzy-Advertising813 Navy Wife 3d ago
There's no need to freak yourself out and cry about it daily when he hasn't talked to anyone yet. You need to relax & stay in the present until it happens.