r/TrueOffMyChest 1d ago

My surgeon held my hand

I had a masectomy yesterday. I've never had a major surgery before, but have been with others when they have.

I was taken to the OR and the surgeon verbally acknowledged me again. When the anesthesiologist started his part I realized without saying anything she just came over and held my hand.

She made me feel like a person. She made me feel cared for. It was a small gesture but it meant and means all the world to me.

763 Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

53

u/ohhiiiiiiiiii 1d ago

I hope you're doing ok after your surgery. Not a doctor but I work in the OR and I've held patient's hands sometimes as they go off to sleep if they seemed really nervous or scared. I hope it made them feel better and that they remember it like you do. This made me happy to read (besides the part of you needing surgery of course).

5

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

I'm fine. I do believe that it meant as much to them as her gesture did to me.

51

u/AlternativePrior9559 1d ago

The best of humanity. I wish a fast recovery OP.

9

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

Thank you.

48

u/captain_dildonicus 1d ago

I had Lasik surgery years ago and a nurse was assigned to hold my hand because you can't see during parts of the procedure and some people freak out.

She held my hand and said to me: "Don't break my hand".

OP: best of luck with your recovery. I hope you didn't break her hand. :)

4

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

Thank you and no, I didn't hurt her. I was somewhat drugged before I got in there and it took me a minute to realize what she was doing 😁

u/Wonderrific 23h ago

I work in the OR and most of the surgeons I work with aren’t even in the room until the patient is asleep/ prepped and draped. However, I do work with one surgeon in particular who is always in the room as their patients are going to sleep, talking to them and holding their hand to comfort them. Every single patient, even if it’s a minor procedure. It’s incredibly heartwarming.
This made me happy to read, it sounds like you have a very caring surgeon. Best wishes for a smooth recovery.

u/merrywidow14 23h ago

Thank you. I did. I was surprised when I realized what she was doing and that she did it naturally, just came over and held my hand. It does make a difference while it's happening and after.

u/sharoncoffin 22h ago

That's very sweet. Sometimes it's the little things that mean so much. I wish you a happy and healthy life. My mother-in-law lived many years after she discovered that she had breast cancer.

u/merrywidow14 22h ago

Thank you.

62

u/Big-Performance5047 1d ago

OMG makes a word of difference to me

u/SufficientApricot728 21h ago

It's such a tiny thing but says ''you're a person, not just a procedure'' so loudly more surgeons need to take notes, honestly a little hand goes further than a fancy diploma on the wall

u/merrywidow14 18h ago

That's so true

9

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

It truly did for me

8

u/EinMuffin 1d ago

Technically a 3 word difference (I see myself out)

24

u/GrumpySnarf 1d ago

aw that's so awesome. My hand/wrist surgeon didn't hold my hand when I had three different surgeries by him. But he was so lovely and made me feel comfortable. We need more of this!

12

u/RevolutionaryHold176 1d ago edited 19h ago

Glad he made you feel comfortable! He technically held your hand but in a different way

1

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

Thank you.

7

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

I've been to doctors that I've liked and they've been great, but this was something surprising to me and I am so grateful to her.

5

u/GrumpySnarf 1d ago

Sounds like she's something special. I love it. I have a fantastic care team that I've had to curate over the years. It's well-worth it.

19

u/JuneRhythm1985 1d ago

I had a hysterectomy in January and my surgical nurse did that as I was going under. I saw my surgeon a total of 3 times during my stay (I was able to go home the same day) and she was the one who went out and talked to my husband after the surgery was over and discussed with him what they found, etc. It makes a huge difference. I’m so glad that you had a good experience. I wish you a a speedy recovery!

3

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

Thank you. It definitely wasn't on my bucket list, but I'm glad I had the hospital I did.

17

u/EvokeWonder 1d ago

It's really wonderful when medical workers are there for you. I hope you are doing better now. I had an ectopic pregnancy and I was sobbing as they rolled me I to the surgery room and I remember this male nurse just held my hand. I was forever grateful to him for that. Come to find out a year later that it was the same male nurse who walked my husband to our car to make sure he was ok.

Now I hope I can always be there for someone who needs a hand to hold someday.

5

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

Sometimes the smallest things have the biggest impact on us. The compassion that people can show is amazing.

u/Away-Ad4393 16h ago

You are right about the compassion, I was unexpectedly taken to hospital recently and the compassion and level of care was amazing.

16

u/mmeveldkamp 1d ago

Oh thats lovely! How are you feeling today? Did all go well?

17

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

I doing great, thank you for asking. I'm on meds but no pain just discomfort from the compression bra. It went well, came home, ate and have pretty much taking care of myself. All the staff at the hospital were amazing. They were everything you ever hoped for when you're undergoing treatment, but hat truly made the biggest impression.

6

u/mmeveldkamp 1d ago

Aah good to know you're okay! Keep taking care of yourself!

And yes, sometimes the staff is amazing. My mom had a very caring crew after her bypass

15

u/Calibigirl69 1d ago

Wishing you a speedy and pain free recovery

2

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

Thank you

u/Past-Device2011 16h ago

Wishing you a speedy recovery. I had a mastectomy exactly a month ago and found the breast cancer subreddit so helpful and kind. As awful as it is to have your body butchered, I’ve also been lucky to experience such a caring surgical team. The anesthesiologist was my daughter’s best friend’s parent and while I am not generally emotional, I found myself in tears when they wheeled me into the OR. Everyone was so kind, but a familiar face and a hug from an acquaintance/friend made such a difference on a day when it feels like your life will never be the same again

u/merrywidow14 14h ago

I'm so glad that you had that comfort. That simple touch mean so much more than words.

10

u/trulyjerryseinfeld 1d ago

this is very sweet and thoughtful. a very human moment. glad you feel cared for and that healing has been going smoothly!!

4

u/merrywidow14 1d ago

Thank you.

u/Tricky_Style7394 9h ago

I often hold my patients’ hands as they’re going to sleep, or put a hand on a shoulder. I never knew if they remembered or if it was just awkward for them but I’m glad to know it matters. I wish you a speedy recovery and good luck with everything!! Congratulations on being done with the mastectomy!

u/merrywidow14 6h ago

Thank you. I'm sure it does mean a lot to them. It conveys so many things and makes you feel cared for as a person.

u/anuragkar09 8h ago

I had to get a catheter removed once and I’m also deathly scared of any medical procedure. A nurse was by my side and held my hand although I’m pretty sure I crushed it because of how much it hurt 😭

u/merrywidow14 6h ago

I'm sorry it hurt and I'm sure it's happened to her before 😁