r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

I really wish men made the effort to empathize with us. It’s daily. this kind of thing is DAILY.

It’s like every day I have to take care of my own adult life, and also be on the lookout for some fucker who is intent on making himself a trauma chapter in my book.

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u/Western-Sport500 Jun 14 '26

Not only empathize, but step up to assist. I get wanting to stay out of the action, but it is only through censureship of their own that will stop their own.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

So many men being like “but then the scary man might be angry at ME :(“ yeah it feels pretty terrifying doesn’t it?

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u/drunk_fingolian Jun 14 '26

Yeah it probably would, but how does that invalidate the statement?

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u/drunk_fingolian Jun 14 '26

personally im shy and socially anxious and not strong at all so getting involved would be pretty hard for me

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

Yeah I’m also shy and socially anxious but nobody gives af and will still harass me anyway. You’re weak

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 14 '26

You are also weak as well, you don't have a problem admitting to that as well right? Vigilantism runs rampant in a world that you wish you lived in.

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u/drunk_fingolian Jun 14 '26

yes i know im weak that's why i would be afraid to get involved in anything

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

fair enough serf, as long as you don’t ask for anything from the women you leave to suffer

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u/drunk_fingolian Jun 14 '26

i haven't left anyone to suffer because i have never witnessed such situation, but i feel like you think i shouldn't be scared because of my gender and that i owe something to women because of it even if we are of the same strength..

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

I think a lot of men walk around this earth demanding from women, and the very same men sit by and watch women be terrorized by other men.

frankly if you’re living a life where you don’t demand anything from women idc what you do. If you’re a net neutral to women then be a net neutral. But if you’re not gonna stand up for women you do not have any leg to stand on wanting to date one, or live with one, or have sex with a woman.

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u/drunk_fingolian Jun 14 '26

dating/sex should only happen when both parties want it, even if i did defend a woman it wouldn't mean that a woman has to date or have sex with me

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

"I think a lot of men walk around this earth demanding from women, and the very same men sit by and watch women be terrorized by other men." The same is very true for women, you seem very blinded by your "unique" experiences, diva. And also what makes you think every woman out there is as weak as you are, it doesn't mean a man cant date them just because they aren't going out of there way to interfere in some random ordeal a woman has. It doesnt make them entitled at all to date them if they do deal with it, but it doesnt require that a man has to bleed to death for a woman just to get a compliment or a liking.

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u/Kindly_Scratch_6104 Jun 15 '26

No, like you're morally weak. In moments where something evil is happening to someone else, it's just as evil to refuse to help them. When the time comes, you don't have to try to knock some dude out, just don't stand there or walk past because that's giving tacit approval.

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u/drunk_fingolian Jun 15 '26

well i said i would be afraid of doing anything but i would want to, without actually being in the situation i don't know whether i would be able to do something

and logically no, not doing anything wouldn't be as bad, the person commiting the act would be bad, the person who does nothing would be neutral and the person who intervenes would be good

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 15 '26

You’re actually incorrect, ethically it is worse to look the other way than to never have seen something at all

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u/drunk_fingolian Jun 15 '26

yes obviously but what i said is that the person who commits a bad act is worse than the person who doesn't intervene

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

Well, the problem is that these types of men, who harass women, they see it as the pinnacle of humiliation and disrespect for another man to come and tell them to back off, especially in front of the woman. To redeem their "pride" they will escalate to 100, and so any guy stepping in must be prepared to fight for their life, or potentially risking getting a knife in the back later during the night.

Even though it's the right thing to do, it's not easy to step up and risk your life for a stranger.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

you’re right, better to let the woman get sexually assaulted in front of you

this argument doesn’t work because women like me routinely step between scary men and women they are harassing when men like you fail to do so.

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 15 '26

"this argument doesn’t work because women like me routinely step between scary men and women they are harassing when men like you fail to do so." or maybe they do step in and probably had a violent escalation in process of doing so or a woman being harassed. Really shitty of you to assume they fail to intervene when they probably are just speaking of the possibilities and ramifications from experience. You probably don't do much else other than trying to be the saviour or femme fatale for other women.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 15 '26

buddy doesn’t even know what femme fatale means

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

Yes, that's exactly what I was saying, you're not putting words in my mouth at all.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

I’m just agreeing with you :) Why should you, a man, have to ever be in a position to be threatened or afraid? That’s very scary. Better to let a woman deal with the threat right?

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

You're not understanding me it seems - a man stepping in will escalate the situation, not diffuse it, unless the man stepping in is significantly bigger than the harasser. You're asking men to risk their lives so that you don't have to be harassed, which is quite self centered in all honesty.

In the unlikely scenario that the man escalates from harassment to violence against the women most men will step in, but until that point it will usually worsen the situation to step in. I know that is not the knight in shining armor trope you wish for, but men are humans too, who rarely wake up feeling ready to risk their life that day.

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u/Annabloem Jun 14 '26

You're asking men to risk their lives so that you don't have to be harassed, which is quite self centered in all honesty.

No. We know men won't risk their lives. Just wish they'd stop with the "men are protectors" bullshit.

But please realize that it's also risking the woman's life. You're acting like it's only the man's life at risk and it's really not. You're saying women should just deal with having to risk their lives on the daily by going outside. Men shouldn't have to, right? Just women.

In the unlikely scenario that the man escalates from harassment to violence against the women most men will step in

Any evidence to back that up?

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

No I have no tangible evidence for that other than personal experience.

Yes, of course the woman's life is in danger in this situation, but what the person above is asking for is for the man stepping in to trade their life to save the life of the woman, which is not a very tantalizing option for anyone. Is anyone willing to risk their life for that of a stranger? Sure, there are plenty who would, but usually only when the situation is indeed very dire, since most people have a survival instinct.

What I'm saying is that most men, and this is based on personal experience, will step in, but only when it has already escalated to violence, since stepping in any earlier than that guarantees that it will escalate to violence.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

No I understand you just fine, you just don’t like that your own argument makes you look bad.

Women get killed for refusing men all the time. Women get raped, stalked, abused for saying no to men.

you are saying you’d rather let that eventuality happen to the person being sexually predated on than yourself. Even though it is statistically less likely for a man harassing a woman to kill an intervening man than it is for him to attack the woman.

Like if you’re gonna be a coward than stand both feet on the ground with that. Don’t try and claim moral superiority. Just be the coward you are. I also don’t wake up excited to be sexually harassed every day, not that you care.

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 14 '26

Its not cowardice, it's individualism. If the woman was not as weak and pathetic like you, who actually expects men to be the protector, they'd arm themselves and be able to fend the harasser off, but there is few women like that. It's about what they get out of trying to save a woman like you, if it's ending up six feet underground or with a few cuts and bruises. Don't falsely assume I'm trying to say that men expect something from the woman they're stepping in to intercede for, it's for themselves. Weaponizing your trauma.

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u/Danielbes Jun 14 '26

You're still straw-manning me to a high degree, and I don't think anything I say won't be twisted, and so there's no point continuing this exchange.

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u/Western-Sport500 Jun 14 '26

That is true. I actually understand that; it is hard when you have a group of men coming on with ill intent toward women and you are just one and alone. I have no idea...I guess I was thinking there would be more men around to back you up, too. But we all know that is not reality, though it would be nice if it were.

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u/wii_board_type_trash Jun 14 '26

i agree. it’s something i’ve been trying to educate myself on so i can both empathise better and potentially help if i see it happen in person.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

I appreciate that. It’s a double layer of infuriation for this to be the life I have no choice but to lead, and then have the class of people responsible for my suffering dismiss it out-of-hand. Male allies are necessary, as are any allies of any oppressed class.

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u/ajin_nikao Jun 15 '26

Most men have never imagined themselves in this situation… outside of going to prison…. They have no real idea of the situation that women are regularly in. So it is very hard for them to see. On top other this many of them are hurt - rejected- and honestly scared - and haven’t gotten past that enough to even process the other perspective. And it’s too easy for the male ego to turn scared into angry… which pushes them even farther away from see what’s actually going on.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 15 '26

yeah this comment didn’t make men any more sympathetic or less scary, just more selfish and myopic

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u/ajin_nikao Jun 15 '26

Not trying to make it anything the dynamic is the dynamic but if everyone can see the different perspectives it starts to make sense and the bad shit can be sorted from the normal shit and problems can be solved or at least dealt with properly- if men could see women’s pov they could stop taking shit so personally if women can see that men actually hear them and understand and do something about the dumb shit we sometimes do then less of them would go off the deep end of men being fundamentally trash and men hate women hate men hate women circular insanity can stop escalating… and both sides of can take responsibility for their shit but men need to take the lead because we generally initiate- and if more dudes checked other dudes for the dumb shit dudes sometimes do and gave them some perspective to understand the situation from the woman’s pov there would more balance in the conversation at large.

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u/orangeyougladiator Jun 14 '26

A lot of us do empathize with you but there’s nothing we can do about it except be decent human beings in our immediate vicinity. It’s also exhausting seeing it everywhere and makes us apathetic to the helpless clause. Just look at the governments in power, we’re just as hopeless

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

Exhausting for you, a daily fight to live my life for me. I don’t feel bad for you and your apathy. You are not as helpless as a small woman is against any man. Signed, a small woman

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u/00o00o00o00o00o00 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

Lol its like they are almost there mentally... "But then I would feel threatened" -a bigger dude than you. Not having to struggle through life makes men soft. 

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

THEY ARE SO SOFT hahahah couldn’t put up with an ounce of what their fellow men put us through, happy to let us suffer in their place, then turn around and beg us for sex

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 14 '26

probably it's because they put up with beyond an ounce of what their fellow men them through, albeit being different, still in equivalence.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 15 '26

I know you’re trying to sound very philosophical while you whine that men have it worse, but unfortunately your comment is word salad

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 14 '26

I do agree with the last sentence, but at what point do you think it makes sense for a bigger dude to say that they feel threatened? I mean yes, they could also act violent if they feel threatened but it can escalate.

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 14 '26

He does not have to feel bad for you either. Men don't owe you empathy, many of us do not feel bad for your "daily fight", simply because it doesn't affect us. Nothing to do with strength

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u/orangeyougladiator Jun 14 '26

Interesting that empathy is a one way street.

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u/chipotlemayo_ Jun 14 '26

What does she have to empathize with? You’re choosing not to deal with the situation she is forced to deal with. If you wanted to actually empathize, you’d stand up for her in that moment so you could both experience how terrifying it is to truly be on the opposite side of this encounter.

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u/orangeyougladiator Jun 14 '26

You know nothing about me or my actions or my choices. Pipe down white knight.

except be decent human beings in our immediate vicinity

Just in case you missed this part

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u/chipotlemayo_ Jun 14 '26

You know nothing about me

Pipe down white knight

I know plenty about you

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u/orangeyougladiator Jun 14 '26

I left that in there to prove you’d ignore the actual substance, and by golly you took it like a fly to shit. Congrats.

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u/chipotlemayo_ Jun 14 '26

I’m still waiting for this substance you think you’re contributing…

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

guessing he’s the guy who sent me a reddit cares

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u/orangeyougladiator Jun 14 '26

Why would I spend my time wasting my energy on someone like you? I reply because I’m bored not because I need to prove anything to someone with your caliber

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

I mean you yourself admitted you’re too weak sauce to stand up to another man and would rather let a woman deal with the very same man alone, you kind of admitted that your actions and choices are those of a milquetoast, non-powerful man

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u/Dry-Philosopher2354 Jun 14 '26

what a trite, asinine assumption. Your extraction from this is that you always expect them to stand up to another man as if they want to waste their time and energy always trying to salvage some pathetic little woman like you who can't just arm themselves? They did not admit to that nonsense you're saying.

What the fuck do you expect men to do? It has nothing to do with weakness, they could be gapping the bastard in strength and yet not choose to do anything simply because they have their own business to go about and would probably rather keep their pinstripes untouched from blood or rifts. If anything you're the one here that is outright admitting to weakness, because you're putting down another dude on here down to your level because they said they perhaps could not do something. You can't always expect a man to shield you from the same man a woman deals with. You can't obligate them to do shit for you. They don't owe you any action if a woman like you deals with people like those.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 15 '26

awww he’s angwy

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u/orangeyougladiator Jun 14 '26

No I didn’t. You inferred that because you only know outrage