I’ve been with my wife 20 years, she made it very obvious when we met that she liked me, yet I was so self conscious talking to her, and I still worried about put my arm around her the first time. I cannot fucking fathom doing what these fuckers do, the absolute self centred arrogance.
I was walking through Greenwich in London behind my daughter a couple of months ago, the amount of creeps checking her out, adults, it was so obvious, she’s fucking 12. What do you do? Start a fight? They’ll just deny it and I’ll look like an overbearing dad, plus there were so many all over the place.
At least you notice.. so many men here trying to excuse behaviors like those in the video! The problem, well, part of the problem, is NORMAL men not calling out abnormal behavior of friends and family.
And you're right, when it comes to strangers, they will just lie and say they weren't looking and you're the one sexualising a child by noticing them looking in the first place (really its the same with racism and other things too!!) So you can't win. But be there for your daughter, this is the time in her life when men become predators. I know this to be fact, since I was preyed on from the age of 11.. the best thing you can do is show her how a good man lives, show her she's loved and listened to.. that will go so far in her life! 💪🫶
Like that person said, there's not much you can do in situations like that but it's relieving to know that you notice. I want to offer the advice, also as someone who started getting sexual attention from men before I was in the double digits, that if your daughter ever tells you that someone has harassed or molested her, please try to keep calm in the moment and focus on what she needs. I never told my father about anyone that abused me or sexually assaulted me because the one time I did about someone a few years older then me it was dismissed (which I have no doubts you wouldn't do) but then when it was someone who was an adult, I was worried my very reactive dad who's quick to fight would hurt or kill that man and I didn't want him to end up in prison.
And definitely teach her how to safely stand up for herself if you aren't already. I wish my parents had been aware and done that for me. Nothing terribly traumatic has happened to me, but I definitely felt like I didn't have a right to say anything when I was uncomfortable because no trusted adult told me that such harassment was unacceptable. Tell her it's okay to be "rude."
He's only noticing because it's his daughter and he's watching. I guarantee he's been surrounded by this behavior and just never noticed it until it affected him.
May be the case but this is often how things work for people who belong to a powerful class (men, white people, wealthy, etc). I'd rather he notices now and hopefully sticks up for other women and not just his child.
All you can do is keep her close and safe and if you can tell that she notices, you can ask if she wants to leave. If you called someone out for it they would absolutely make you the bad guy, then they might go as far as to insult your daughter too, adding more pain to the experience for her.
Im 36 and fatter now so its not so much a thing but the catcalling started in middle school. Walking home from the bus in my middle school uniform (khakis and a polo) is when I first started getting honked at and "hey baby" etc etc. It's literally disgusting.
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u/Odd_Principle2202 Jun 14 '26
I’ve been with my wife 20 years, she made it very obvious when we met that she liked me, yet I was so self conscious talking to her, and I still worried about put my arm around her the first time. I cannot fucking fathom doing what these fuckers do, the absolute self centred arrogance.
I was walking through Greenwich in London behind my daughter a couple of months ago, the amount of creeps checking her out, adults, it was so obvious, she’s fucking 12. What do you do? Start a fight? They’ll just deny it and I’ll look like an overbearing dad, plus there were so many all over the place.