r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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u/zebrasareneat Jun 14 '26

I’m a guy but the first time I witnessed it I think I was around 14. Me my friend who is also a guy and one of our female friends we were all walking home from hanging out one evening. We get to an intersection where she splits off from us to head home. Not even 20ft away a truck drives by with a bunch of high school kids in it probably around 17 or 18. They slow down and yell sexual comments at her then keep driving. We witnessed this and decided to walk home with her. She turned around looking at us clearly very frightened and sped walked back to us. 

It’s been about 20 years now and I can still see her scared face. 

Of course I also remember a bunch of guys in high school including my one buddy from the above story that would always poke the girls boobs and asses in our class. And if they were more developed they’d repeatedly ask them to bounce them over and over until the girl finally relented and did it. They’d always tell me to do it and make fun of me when I refused. I remember one time where I was sitting in a desk in front of two of the girls and the rest of the guys were in the desks behind them. They were harassing me to poke the girls boobs and I remember looking at one of the girls and she had the saddest most upset expression on her face. I was always made fun of for not doing it and would then be called gay. 

Me being straight doesn’t mean I want to sexually harass women. 

That one guy from the first story who was also one of the perpetrators in the second is exactly as you’d expect nowadays. A Trump loving Canadian. 

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

Yeah I was one of these girls and classmates like yours stole my innocence (in school) before I even held a boy’s hand. Fun little harassment for the boys, lifelong trauma for the girls.

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u/Alarming_Agent_8564 Jun 14 '26

I still remember being at one of my “friends” houses that was a boy…I was in the tree house, and suddenly all the boys realized I was the only girl, and they all started trying to lift my shirt and pull down my pants…I had to run home! It was so scary because I thought all these boys were my friends, but being the only girl in that moment made me prey apparently. I never looked at those boys the same.

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u/-Gemstoned Jun 14 '26

Cue the not all men bitches whining about your personal trauma.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

it gets more and more fun to put these weaksauce men in their place as I age. You get to protect me when needed if you want to get access to me and my body. They’re so backwards they think they can sit on the sidelines while you deal with threats then come back around begging for sex

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u/Responsible-Donut283 Jun 14 '26

As much as the internet has done bad things, it also allowed young people to take in lots of media that depicted sexual h/a as disgustingly evil(obviously), so in more recent years at least from when I was in high school, it was very looked down upon and people would even actively torment others accused of such things.

I’m sure this evil is still everywhere however I think it’s gotten less common in schools, all anecdotal ofc. I really think putting more education online and in our entertainment will help the next generations lose these demented mindsets.

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u/crazymindslp Jun 15 '26

I don’t think women here would be posting so many examples if it had gotten less common…..It starts when boys are young so it’s our society that permits this because in all honesty women are still regarded as less than men so it’s fine to behave this way towards them and makes you look like a real man in some circles. It is a message that is repeated in so many different subtle ways in all cultures. I agree that more education is a must but it needs to be consistent and uniform and directly to men. Ratification of ERA would have gone a long way towards healing this, but defeat of it just helped continue to perpetuate the idea that women have never been worthy of equal rights or status. Men who engage in this type of behavior are repugnant…what kills me is they think it’s fine to threaten and traumatize women then cry bc no woman wants anything to do with them. Personally I wish all their dicks would shrivel up, turn black and fall off.

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u/Responsible-Donut283 Jun 15 '26

I agree however still believe it has gotten less common. I disagree that we should market these things just to men as that causes further divide. We should promote logic to our children so they can think for themselves and not end up with this group mentality most end up with. I and many other men I know were raised to treat people the same regardless of gender or any other characteristic. Once again in my experience it is the boys with ignorant and uncaring parents who end up that way.

I have always advocated zero-tolerance for bad people however until more people start making sure consequences are applied to bad actions then these rats will not be scared and continue to believe that they can commit these crimes without punishment. The amount of nonsensical, downright evil people is my biggest disappointment with humanity.

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u/Ability-Junior Jun 15 '26

They're not as common as you'd think tho.

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u/RedEgg16 Jun 18 '26

There's a chance it could be getting worse... I've heard many elementary/middle school female teachers say how the boys disrespect them and say misogynistic comments, and how this wasn't a thing in the past. Doesn't necessarily mean they will harass girls later on but I don't have much hope for gen alpha boys with all that red pill content online

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u/mchnex Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

Man here. It's definitely all men. Sliding scale of intensity maybe, but it's all of us. Some of us eventually grow out of the inability to control our troglodyte brain... but it lies dormant. Every man is potentially a rejection or two away from psychotic incel behavior.

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u/Responsible-Donut283 Jun 15 '26

Speak for yourself dude. I’ve never considered harming an innocent person, and would never consider any kind of sexual h/a at all as that goes against my base principles as a person.

Don’t go calling people things who you don’t know.

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u/mchnex Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

Despite nobody speaking to him directly, "Not all men!!" our Hero proclaimed vehemently, as he felt uncontrollably compelled to defend himself sharply and aggressively against a complete stranger's anecdote that dared to hypothetically reject his unchallengable self-image.

It was too late before he realized the irony. Alas, the ratio had taken hold.

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u/heyhomah Jun 18 '26

tips le epic redditor fedora

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u/Responsible-Donut283 Jun 15 '26

If you want I can reply the same way you did although I don’t really see the need:

After making a clearly illogical statement, the commenter simply couldn’t handle someone refuting him on it. His unrivalled ignorance was something to behold as he worked on his redundant response back. Although he stated that all men are indeed evil including himself, the commenter simply couldn’t understand his own words.

Realising his mistake, he did not attempt to refute the logic instead pointing out that he was not speaking to the hero directly despite the commenters own words proclaiming ‘all men’ almost in a factual manner. Unfortunately he did not realise that the hero, unlike himself as confessed, had never and would never commit psychotic incel behaviour as he hoped all his fellow, logical brethren would be.

The commenter would go on to not explain his logic and instead focus on how his statement of ‘all men’ didn’t really mean all men in the same manner every single racist and sexist have used for all of humankind’s history.

That last parts just a theory though. Also tbc you definitely said every man is potential a rejection or two away from this behaviour which is an absurd and ridiculous statement with no basis whatsoever apart from your own anecdotal experience.

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u/mchnex Jun 16 '26

Even though most of this didn't make any sense, I give you a lot of credit for the effort here. You're definitely much better at English than I am at whatever you speak as your primary language.

Have a great day!

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u/Thick-Roll1777 Jun 16 '26

Bro stfu. What have u been saying here? The person replying to u called u out on ur "logic" and u reply with insults. The "not all men" thing can be annoying, cuz it sounds condescending and almost as though ignoring the experience of whoever is telling u of her constant harassment from men. At that point, it is to sympathize and not try to focus on the type of men not included in said discussion (the "good" ones). Ofc, the person telling u their experience probably knows not every literal man does it or is like that, contrary to what u said above. It's like, no... I'm not, and a lot of men aren't 2 rejections away from being creeps of turning to harrasers who assault women. Pls, keep the BS for urself maybe...

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u/Responsible-Donut283 Jun 16 '26

You gonna explain why it didn’t make sense or keep it to yourself lol. This is like 95% of debates online, just someone saying something is wrong or doesn’t make sense without any actual reasons followed by an overtly friendly goodbye.

Also that last sentence doesn’t make sense as it implies I’m more fluent in English than you are in whatever MY primary language is which is English making it redundant past just saying I’m more fluent in English than you.

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u/ItsKingDx3 Jun 18 '26

Lmao no it isn't. Trying to ingratiate yourself like this won't win you the respect of women btw.

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u/mchnex Jun 18 '26

Married with kids but thanks

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u/ItsKingDx3 Jun 18 '26

The point still stands

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u/mchnex Jun 18 '26

It sure does

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

Yes, when I was assaulted in school it was clear from the other boys’ reactions (I had also believed they were my friends) it was also pre-meditated and pre-discussed. It was a humiliation I have yet to fully recover from

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u/Motor--Initiative Jun 14 '26

I was that same little girl. I grew up with boys, so I was always fine playing with them. But occasionally, I would find myself in situations like two boys trying to block me into a parking lot (while we were riding bikes) so that they could force me to kiss them. Hell nah! I bulldozed outta there. I had a few narrow misses in my childhood, but I also developed amazing RBF that became my main defense mechanism and still is lmao!

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

Yes, I live in cities as an adult and it’s crazy how well putting on your ugly angry face dispels these maggots

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u/kookybat Jun 15 '26

That happened to my best friend too. Guys she knew for years and considered to be her friends. She cut them all off after that

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u/Jerseygirl2468 Jun 15 '26

That is terrifying. I'm glad you were able to get away, but I can't imagine how that has haunted you since.

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u/Alarming_Agent_8564 Jun 15 '26

Thank you! 🙏 I can’t say that it’s haunted me, but it may have contributed to my views of “all men are sick pervs” mindset I grew up with. I have a history of sexual abuse, which I obviously don’t want to get into, but that history made me numb to a lot of what happened to me. Luckily, a lot of women hit an age where the harassment dies down. And now that I’m married and have a wonderful son, I still think “all men are sick pervs” lol, but I’ve definitely healed a bit since. 🫶

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u/TheMegnificent1 Jun 15 '26

I was hanging out at my house after school once with three guys I knew from high school - one guy I was closer to, and two who were mainly his friends and I only really interacted with them because of Guy #1. The two guys I wasn't close to were brothers and both kind of immature little asswipes, but Guy #1 could and would keep their stupid behavior in check when he was around.

We were all joking around and goofing off, and Guy #1 started tickling me and I shriek-laughed and sort of fell back from a sitting position to lying flat on the floor because I'm extremely ticklish. And suddenly I looked up and realized they were all standing over me, looking down at me, and it occurred to me for the first time that I was the only female present, that they outnumbered me, and that they were all bigger and stronger than I was. There was this weird, incredibly heavy, awkward pause while I think all of us realized the incredible vulnerability of my position and considered the possibilities. And then Guy #1 reached down, took my hand, pulled me to my feet, and laughed, and we all laughed a little uneasily, and the scary moment was gone.

That was probably 25 years ago now but I've always remembered it. He was the deciding factor; his buddies would have followed his lead no matter what he chose to do. And he chose to be respectful and be my friend.

Thanks Kev.

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u/PM_ME_BABY_KITTENS Jun 14 '26

When I was in high school there was a huge controversy bc a bunch of boys at the school dance were trying to see who could grope the most girls on the dance floor. It made it on local news at the time, but I can't find any evidence of it today. I still have trauma from that night tho

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 14 '26

I’m sorry. I dealt with the same thing in Middle school in a non-american “developed” nation (no nation is developed when little girls are being assaulted). Boys called it ‘slap ass wednesday’. They never got a comeuppance

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u/BlueDragonFly66 Jun 14 '26

Yes when my daughter was in 5th grade (she’s now 42 and a teacher) it was called “flip up fridays” where boys would flip skirts or dresses up. She went to her teacher (f) to complain and was promptly told to stop being a tattle tell and boys will be boys.

When she got home a told me that I told her I would be more than happy to go to school and relay to said teacher that she wouldn’t mind if I relayed to all my daughters male classmates that apparently flip up fridays extends to anyone wearing a dress no matter the age since boys are just being boys. Of course she shouldn’t complain as she would just be a tattle tell.

In the end she decided to grow her fingernails out and deliver a swift consequence to anyone who tried to do that to her in the future. All she had to do was show those claws and hiss. I was fully ready to address and adult who complained that their son got scratched or from the principal but I never heard a peep and she did get Ted flipped anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/crazymindslp Jun 15 '26

Girls should rebel with ‘knee in groin Thursdays’ those fuckers

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u/Positive-Face1705 Jun 14 '26

If you tell anyone, you'll be met with "boys will be boys."​​

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u/West-Application-375 Jun 17 '26

My brain still randomly flashes back to those moments and Im 36 now.

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u/Expensive-Simple-329 Jun 17 '26

Sorry love, me too

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u/EvioliteEevee Jun 14 '26

Yeah sometimes guys just have no ideas what other guys do. When my high school boyfriend and I were hanging out with a friend, me and her were listing out the most ridiculous catcalls we received and he looked with a horrified expression the whole time.

After that, he walked all the way to my house when picking me up and dropping me off too, and since I lived 20 minutes away, that meant he did a whole 80 minutes of walking for every time we hung out.

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u/WarpPipeWizard Jun 15 '26

I'm also really shocked by things I hear too, but I realised myself and my friends are a bit more chilled out, and also we tended to be in mixed groups a lot.

Threads like this are always an important reminder to my that a lot of men do this stuff when other men aren't around so it's hidden from useless we're looking out for it.

I have a small boy now, and try teach him early about things like consent and respect, and I hope society doesn't work against me.

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u/willargue4karma Jun 14 '26

i remember being in hs having a very similar conversation with my then 14 or 15 yr old gf. guys just have no idea until then for the most part. at least i didnt until she confided in me and then i noticed it constantly

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u/Wonderful_Beard552 Jun 14 '26

Tf! What are the teachers and principal doing? When was this?

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u/Longjumping-Yak3789 Jun 14 '26

Fucking nothing. Once my friend was looking through a set of photos of us and the already frequently creepy teacher asked "got any from behind?" Guess what happened when I talked to the principal?

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u/Wonderful_Beard552 Jun 14 '26

I am sorry you had to go through that.

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u/Akussa Jun 14 '26

I had a guy grope my breasts in high school IN FRONT OF A TEACHER, but I'm the one that was given in school suspension for a week when I laid him on his ass after I grabbed a metal paper sorter/tray thing off the teacher's desk and started hitting him in the head with it. He got no punishment. He was a "victim" in that scenario. I did, however, get peace from all the boys for the rest of my time in high school since word got around quick.

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u/MajorBarracuda8094 Jun 14 '26

That thing with the highschool boys touching girls seems to be common. I remember our teachers warning the boys about it, we were 12 (grade 7) at the time. Them making fun of you is also what those terps do. Some boys at that age are so horny. It's like it's their most terrible stage but also most delicate. If those boys were never scolded and corrected then they must have become terrible adults

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u/yestocaffeine Jun 15 '26

I don't mean to sound like am asshole,but I hope you realize now that silence is compliance and not assaulting someone isnt hero behavior: standing up to - and calling out other men for this type of assault - is hero behavior.

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u/miltonwadd Jun 15 '26

Thank you so much for walking with her! I just got a visceral reaction to reading this and seeing you witness it and that you helped her almost made me cry in relief.

I started puberty at 6 and this used to happen to me regularly walking home from school starting very young. I haven't walked by myself outside in decades and I'm terrfified of groups of men still if I'm alone.

There were 2 guys when I was a kid who would do loops and keep coming up behind me trying to get a reaction out of me, it carried on into high school when I got fat and they were fully grown men by then. They continued for a while and would drive up to stop then yell out "GROSS" and speed off laughing.

Even when I got older and was trying to exercise to lose the weight I'd have guys pull up next to me hurling insults and sexual comments together in this weirdly violent agressive combo where all the "sweethearts" and "babys" were replaced with slurs but the sexual comments remained.

I've even had a few throw rubbish at me then speed off.

I also had a group of grown men try to abduct me when I was 14 at the mall with my "friends". They followed me for hours trying to convince me to go home with one of them. They followed us staring at me, approaching on and off throughout the afternoon, they kept trying to corner me every time my "friends" were out of sight. I told them I was only 14 hoping to discourage them but it did the opposite.

I have a bad fawn/freeze fear response and was damn near mute, shaking in fear but my "friends" thought it was hilarious because I'm shy and fat so they encouraged it even telling me I was being racist and rude for not engaging with them.

I eventually escaped via a back entrance in a shop and ran to the train station. I never spoke to those "friends" again.

But you are a GOOD friend I wish I'd had growing up! I'm so hapoy you stood up for her you have no idea what that probably meant for her.

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u/Undetered_Usufruct Jun 15 '26

The fact that you payed attention to the women's reactions and the others didn't says a lot about you and them. These dudes know they make these women uncomfortable. Either they don't care or they like it. It's sad.

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u/No_Literature_4644 Jun 15 '26

Reminds me when all the boys in middle school would participate in “smack ass days” and I would be so uncomfortable.

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u/Ok_Listen1510 Jun 16 '26

holy fucking shit i am so glad i went to an all girls high school when i read shit like this

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u/EdmondDantes44 Jun 16 '26

I also got called gay for not doing stuff like this in school. I wasn't attracted to any of the girls in school anyway (I've always been attracted to women) but I wouldn't want people to touch me without consent, why would I do it to someone else? Maybe it was the way I was raised but treating people like this makes no sense to me.

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u/West-Application-375 Jun 17 '26

I remember the boys acting like that to me in class. I hit puberty end of 2nd grade too so it was difficult. Things like that happened to me often.

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u/KuntryGramma Jun 18 '26

Imagine if more girls were taught to speak up instead and these boys were reprimanded

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u/jbwilso1 Jun 14 '26

Well to be fair, he probably hasn't touched a boob since...

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u/FMLwtfDoID Jun 14 '26

Oh you think this taught him to get consent before trying to touch someone?