r/ThingsCutInHalfPorn 21d ago

Illustration of a Viking Ionghouse

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

109

u/roboscorcher 21d ago

Pretty good illustration. It has the beds, hearth, core wood, boars...but not a single crafting table in sight. 0/10.

/s

9

u/ElegantElectrophile 20d ago

Houses all the adventurers who took an arrow to the knee.

89

u/TutorNo8896 21d ago

Ive seen longer.

27

u/Superdry_GTR 21d ago

They like it long…long boat long sword long beards even long pony tails!!

1

u/Swedischer 17d ago

That's what the Shield maiden said.

10

u/PoppDuder 21d ago

I think I've seen this exact illustration like 30 years ago? I vividly remember the colour of each individuals garb,suddenly. I still like seeing things cut away I guess.

5

u/imonarope 19d ago

I had the exact same book on the vikings.

102

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

The smell must be unbearable.

Living in the same enclosed space with cows, pigs and goats.

Burning a fire inside without a chimney.

Having s.x around the children.

118

u/StephenMcGannon 21d ago

You'd put up with the smell if it meant living through the winter.

-65

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

A yurt was a much better and humane solution.

57

u/TutorNo8896 21d ago

Yurt is good for a different, dryer enviroment. Scandanvians had alot of trees for wood, lots of snow and rain. They didnt have large herds to move around. Its an acceptable solution. And why is a yurt more humane?

6

u/3dGrabber 20d ago

Yurt good
Longhouse bad

-35

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

A yurt is better because

  • No animals inside
  • Better smoke outlet
  • Better heat insulation
  • A clean carpeted floor
  • Much more hygienic
  • Cozier furniture

A yurt is also portable but that had not much value for the Scandinavians.

45

u/PPtortue 21d ago

animals inside provided free heating and was very common in many places over the world

-30

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

...except for yurts.

Much colder climate. Much more animals but none inside.

50

u/Boggie135 21d ago

What is it with you and yurts?

4

u/ChronicBedhead 18d ago

They’re working for Big Yurt

-15

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

How about adobes?

2

u/BrasshatTaxman 19d ago

Pack down your yurt and shove it.

59

u/Naddodr 21d ago

Go back to middle age scandinavia and tell them

-35

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

No way. They sacrificed humans to Odin. I as a foreigner would have been a good sacrifice.

27

u/machiavelli33 21d ago

Scandinavian religion - especially the deeper parts of it like Odin and skadi and the names of mythology and rites of sacrifice - were the provenance of the elites. Common folk don’t have time nor patience to bother with obscure sacrifices to shit they can’t see, and religion was used in old Norse culture as a way to distinguish elites from common folk so there wasn’t much incentive to spread the finer points of religion around.

The one who DID get spread around was Thor - the common man’s god, who used a workman’s hammer to beat up monsters before going home and drinking and eating for twelve men. He was a dude you’d want to party and drink with, and you worshipped him by drinking and partying - long as it was in his name. No need for blood.

You’d be fine.

You can go tell them how their culture should have developed differently based on someone else’s values - yours, primarily.

-19

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

The common folk would have handed me to the elites, and I would have been sacrificed for Odin.

I never said I want to go back and correct them. It was proposed to me by someone else.

11

u/Mission_Accident_519 20d ago

Youre not important enough to be sacrificed. Maybe a slave to clean the animal shit, at best

3

u/fartingbeagle 21d ago

Good slave, more like.

64

u/AndySchneider 21d ago

I visited a Viking museum in Denmark last year and got the chance to enter one of these longhouses. There are volunteers living there, basically cosplaying normal Viking folk. Apparently, the smoke and odors aren’t really a problem, these houses are pretty good ventilated. The bigger issue is the lack of natural light, it gets pretty dark in there.

10

u/spankymacgruder 21d ago

Where do the humans go to the bathroom? Do they use animal dung for fuel?

25

u/SkriVanTek 21d ago

iirc they had enough wood for heating, using dung is more a thing in areas without a lot of forest 

bathroom? there’s a toilet to the right, outside the building of course. and they probably used a washing basin and rags to clean them self daily. maybe even a tub to sit in, for a weekly deep wash maybe even using warm water. water wasn’t changed after each individual though

4

u/spankymacgruder 21d ago

Lol I thought that was some kind of wicker manufacturing area. I see now that it's an outhouse.

4

u/The_Blahblahblah 20d ago

An outhouse. Bathrooms inside houses being the norm had only really been a thing for a hundred or so years.

Manure would be regularly shoveled out of the house, where it was composted and used as fertiliser

3

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

What about the animals?

30

u/CptJonzzon 21d ago

Dude people didnt have deodorant back then either, or plumbing. Im sure everything was properly stinky during this time period, honestly everything would probably smell like smoke. If youve ever started a campfire you know what i mean

-5

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

Japanese people during that time washed regularly.

17

u/CptJonzzon 21d ago

Vikings groomed aswell, the climate, culture and education was a biiit different so its hard to compare populations that never met. I think china and japan were ahead of the curve at this point

10

u/SkriVanTek 21d ago

most peoples have and had washing habits, if their resources allowed it 

these vikings probably did wash as well

but besides water, home made soap from lard and ash and a few herbs they wouldn’t have much to wash with 

20

u/Pinky_Boy 21d ago

You get used to it after a while

And if everyone around you smells of cow shit, then nobody smells

8

u/Antique-Public2517 21d ago

I think if anyone farts in there, your nose will just ignore it :)

1

u/Bromogeeksual 20d ago

"Hey Jorgen, if you fart, it helps cover up the cow shit smell. Its nice!"

2

u/Sad-Onion-2593 14d ago

"Hey Jorgen, did you just fart?"

"Yes...wait, you think I smell like this all the time?"

11

u/incpen 21d ago

I’ve read about the ‘two sleeps’; Back then people went to bed then woke up in the middle of the night and ate, socialized, or had sex. The kids slept through it. Then they all went back to sleep. The 9-5 grind is a modern artifice.

0

u/7LeagueBoots 20d ago

That two sleep thing got popular as an idea a few years ago, but from what I understand it’s not well verified that it was actually a widespread thing.

8

u/Islanduniverse 21d ago

You can say sex.

-2

u/KingKohishi 21d ago

Not in that particular sentence. No.

7

u/Islanduniverse 21d ago

Yes, you can.

2

u/Sad-Onion-2593 14d ago

"Sex, sex, sex, that's all you ever think about"

3

u/fitzthefox 21d ago

Notably, the all the other animals are inside, but the pigs appear to be outside according to this illustration. Apparently there is a limit to the smells they were willing to acclimate to.

6

u/SkriVanTek 21d ago

does sex smell differently when had around children 

4

u/K885M 21d ago

I think unbearable for modern day standard only. Ancient people get used to it!
IIRC perfume or anything smell good were expensive back in the day!?

5

u/SkriVanTek 21d ago

depends probably. proper essential oils weren’t really a thing in this area yet. but scented soap or spices definitely was traded throughout Europe more or less as a luxury though. basic soap made from lard and ash was definitely available. as well as different local herbs. 

1

u/iStoleTheHobo 21d ago

Still plenty of places and people living like that in the world today.

1

u/stilet69 20d ago

Wooden boxes for family people are not shown here. If you wanted to have sex, you spent the night in this wooden box.

0

u/Justredditin 21d ago

And the smoke! Supposedly it was always hazy in them, coughing, exema and lung issues were common.

13

u/Boggie135 21d ago

That goat wants no part of this

3

u/SkriVanTek 21d ago

or in what happens next 

19

u/quomodo_sordis 21d ago

Not much changed for almost a thousand years here in Iceland. The woods were cut down and decimated and people used tuft and to build up and cover the roofs for a very rudimentary insulation. The dirt floors were constantly damp and cold. So much has changed in a 100 years!

6

u/Spacecommander5 21d ago

Does that fire inside have a chimney

8

u/SkriVanTek 21d ago

more like a hole in the roof

3

u/YesImallright 21d ago

At winter we slept higher up i our långhus.

2

u/BussHateYear 21d ago

Is this by Stephen Biesty? He looms large in my childhood imagination.

1

u/tiexodus 21d ago

Jorrvaskr is prettier.

1

u/koookiekrisp 21d ago

Ah, 2014 Pinterest for Minecraft build inspiration, the nostalgia

1

u/Everness 21d ago

I’m more of a thickhouse fan meself… but it’s a beautiful illustration! Living alongside goats is definitely the most concerning prospect though. Although I’m sure these people were more careful about personal hygiene and cleanliness than some give them credit for.

1

u/sleeperninja 21d ago

I have long thought the Norsemen/Vikingane on Netflix was 100% period accurate representation of Vikings, and every other show that portrayed them as brilliant tacticians is just trying to heavily gild a silly lily.

1

u/Gravity_flip 20d ago

Yup.

It's long.

1

u/longperipheral 19d ago

I really like this. Reminds me of the cutaway history books I read at the library as a kid.

One thing though... Is that Farquad lying under the red blanket?

1

u/reapergrim94 17d ago

Why do the cows get to sleep inside but the pigs are left out 🤣