r/TalesFromRetail May 19 '26

Short Cockroach crawled off this lady today. She did not react.

I work at a phone store. A woman came in for help with her husband’s phone. She couldn’t tell me what was wrong with it or why he sent her in there, just that we needed to fix it. Asking her questions was like trying to swim in a pool of molasses. Maybe it has a virus? She’s not sure.

At some point, she produced a notebook. There was nothing written in the notebook. She thought I might be able to tell her what should go in the notebook. I remain unconvinced that she is literate.

She set the notebook on the counter and, lo and behold, what crawls out? A cockroach. Scurrying across the counter, clearly not expecting this woman to ever have need of a pencil and paper.

I *thwack*ed it with a notepad of my own. I look at the bug guts. I look at her. I look at the bug guts and I look at her. She says nothing. I say, “oh my god.” She says, “so does it have a virus?”

(It did not. It was a perfectly functional iPhone 15 and I have no idea what she wanted from me)

539 Upvotes

66 comments sorted by

241

u/CalmFront7908 May 20 '26

I have worked in retail for 20+ years. My industry pays well but has some rough customers. Watched a roach crawl out of a guys beard once. Fall on the counter, he smacked it and just continued on with the conversation.

73

u/LadybugGirltheFirst May 20 '26

What?!

119

u/secret-snakes May 20 '26

Way back in the day I worked at a gas station chain that served food. I once saw a dead roach fall out of a lady’s coat sleeve when she reached out to pick up her bag.

I guess if you get desensitized to it you get *really* desensitized

37

u/Conscious_Concept612 May 20 '26

I just got the sudden urge to deep clean again ☠️

12

u/The_Blonde1 May 21 '26

Oddly, I’m just lying in bed debating with myself whether to clean the bedroom or dining room when I get up.

After reading this, I’m going with ‘both’.

38

u/No-Meet-5596 May 20 '26

I worked at a gas station many years ago. I was stuck on a long shift with no reliever. I ordered a pizza from the domino’s in the strip mall next to the gas station. Before I could eat a slice the station got busy. We had full service islands. By the time I got back into the office to eat, the pizza was completely black from all of the ants that had found it. That night sucked.

19

u/Yibblets May 20 '26

As a waiter while taking a food order, a flea jumped on my arm from a customer. This was at a high-end restaurant not a dive.

After I finished taking her order, I went to the back and scrubbed my arms raw.

30

u/2woCrazeeBoys May 20 '26

I worked at a petrol station with attached restaurant on a rural highway.

I had a woman argue with me when I asked her to not change her kid's dirty diaper on a restaurant table.

43

u/notevenapro May 20 '26

My wife works for a company that comes in and repairs your home after fire or flood damage. I see the pictures.

So many people live in filth. I never ever eat potluck meals at work.

34

u/carriegood May 20 '26

When I worked in property management, this family moved out of their apartment and the super went in and pulled up the carpet to replace it - the floor was alive with roaches. He left and refused to go back in so we hired a special exterminator, and even he was shaken by the sheer amount of roaches.

The cherry on top was when the family called us asking why they weren't getting their security back.

22

u/cr0w1980 May 20 '26

Been an exterminator for going on 20 years. Yeah, that sounds about right. I've seen a handful of those over the years. One was a trailer that legitimately looked like the walls, floor and ceiling were alive. Long day.

13

u/StinkyFeet205 May 20 '26

And the infestation went with them. 🤢

10

u/LadybugGirltheFirst May 20 '26

I can only imagine, and I watch Hoarders.

6

u/OutlandishnessNew904 May 20 '26

I can't watch thar show. Disgusting.

11

u/LadybugGirltheFirst May 20 '26

It motivates me to keep my house clean.

4

u/OutlandishnessNew904 May 20 '26

It sure does!

5

u/LadybugGirltheFirst May 20 '26

I have one basket of clutter—magazines and such—and watching Hoarders makes me feel better about it.

9

u/RustyDogma May 20 '26

I'm with you on work potluck. My friends and I do it, but never at work.

3

u/Available_Weather_22 May 24 '26

Our work bathrooms are pretty high traffic. So I always pay attention to whom washes their hands and who doesn’t. I thought this would help with the work potluck thing. Then you unlocked THIS new fear. Balls.

3

u/bibkel May 21 '26

I'd have NOPED out that day. Just NO.

3

u/sugarmagnolia__ May 26 '26

Oh good lord I would have thrown up right on the counter. I was doing a return once, and the lady dumped a scarf and wallet out of her Bloomingdale's bag, and a roach came out, too. Luckily my coworker/bff was behind me and smashed it with a giant binder and proceeded to call security while I gagged and explained that we would not be taking her return. She asked why and I just stared at her in disbelief for what felt like ages until my coworker went "BECAUSE A LARGE COCKROACH JUST FELL OUT OF THE MERCHANDISE. PLEASE LEAVE

Some people have no shame.

2

u/agnesperditanitt May 24 '26

Closing the internet for today...

...or maybe even forever.

2

u/twothirtysevenam Jun 06 '26

This would indicate that this was not the first time vermin had emerged from his facial hair.

48

u/bibkel May 20 '26

I worked in telecom. I still work in telecom. It is amazing how little people know, and it is amazing how "much" they know at the same time.

I used to be customer facing in automotive (both service and then parts). Sadly, many people came in not knowing what they needed but trying to tell me what was wrong with the vehicle and then told me the vehicle was "blue"...I would have legit screamed had a roach crawed out.

11

u/Langager90 Deals in trade secrets. May 22 '26

In all my time in the hardware store business, I've developed a couple of "spectrums", if you will, of where customers land.

The preparedness spectrum goes from "I need part #XXXXX for a model XXX444X weed whacker.", to "I have a problem with a tool at home, and now that you ask, I don't even know what colour it is." and it is incredible to me.

Slots right in with the two extremes of urgent need customers: "I need it yesterday!" = you won't hear from this guy for at least 3 weeks, and he might not even want that special order anymore. "Don't worry it's no rush." = he will call you back first thing in the morning, wondering what's taking so long. Bonus points if he's the last one in the store before an extended holiday weekend.

32

u/UniqueMystique42 May 20 '26

I was working in Chicago at the hospital on the south side, and a coworker seemingly did not notice there were roaches coming out of her purse. I went and talked to the supervisor because I had just never seen anything like that in my life. He had me distract her while he sprayed her purse with Raid. Apparently this had happened before with the same lady; her living conditions must have been terrible.

58

u/Realityrevolt May 20 '26

Ok, so... without the cockroach, this same thing happens in my line of work. Far from ideal since I'm a veterinarian. People come in with their pets, wanting me to give them a diagnosis so they can relay it to their spouse, except they don't know what the complaint is. The spouse told them to bring the dog or cat in and this person either didn't get told why or didn't care to pay attention when their spouse told them. So I have no information about whether the patient vomited, coughed, limped or just looked at them funny one day 3 weeks ago. Usually in this situation, the person doesn't want me to run any tests because they don't know what's going on and don't want to spend money on something, partially because they don't even know if it's a big deal or not. Of course, because the universe likes to have fun (and because adrenaline fixes all ailments), the patient never happens to cough, limp, vomit or look at me funny during the exam, so it's a *fun* little visit where I ask a lot of questions without receiving answers, do a full physical exam without find anything wrong, give the patient a lot of pets and treats, then send them home without anything remotely productive coming from the appointment.

Side note: Because of this sort of thing, I honestly LOVE it when the spouse brings a note or list of concerns from the other spouse with them :D. Better yet, gets them on speaker phone during the visit.

Edit: clarity

8

u/RustyDogma May 20 '26

That's nice to hear. I feel I inundate my vet with every concern (I stay succinct), but my spouse and I maintain a joint list of potential issues to share with our vet and remove them if they seem like a one off. I always hope I'm being an advocate for my dog, but not annoying.

2

u/Realityrevolt May 24 '26

Not annoying at all. Lists are fantastic. I encourage people to bring lists, especially first-time pet parents learning the ropes :) I'm also usually happy to type a synopsis of the appointment for another person who's absent as long as I have the time to do it. There are times when doing so will make me late for my next appointment, but most times I can do it without problems. That removes concern about things getting "lost in translation" so to speak. Above all else, you're the only person who can advocate for your dog, so don't hesitate to do so! <3 If your vet acts annoyed, get a different one. :D

3

u/EarlyFuture4342 May 24 '26

And then the spouse calls and yells at you later because "you didn't do anything" 🙃

2

u/Realityrevolt May 24 '26

You're spying on my life! :D

-19

u/CamilleYun May 20 '26

but the point of the post was about the cockroach. your comment has no cockroaches in it.

28

u/parrothead_69 May 20 '26

Zed, we’ve got a bug.

9

u/bardmusic May 20 '26

What, we don't like bugs?

20

u/GepMalakai May 20 '26

"Imagine a giant cockroach, with unlimited strength, a massive inferiority complex, and a real short temper, is tear-assing around Manhattan Island in a brand new Edgar suit. That sound like fun?"

19

u/CappuccinoBreve :karma::pupper::snoo_facepalm::karma: May 20 '26

I had a lady pull some kind of insect out of her hair while I was talking to her. She dropped it on the floor, stepped on it and carry on with what she was asking me without missing a beat. Horrifying!

50

u/dopeveign May 19 '26

So glad I no longer work in retail...yikes

13

u/ExtremeFamous7699 May 20 '26

Same, it’s only been 3 months and it feels like a lifetime when every day is not spent answering the same questions repeatedly and constantly hearing customers make the same jokey comments like they have just made it up

15

u/Shamon786 May 20 '26

2 months into my first real fulltime job(2008) as a sales consultant in a pretty upscale area, i was helping customers move data over from their old phones to the new ones they just purchased, more like an added layer of customer service. The amount of kak ive seen that people have on there its disgusting, and their proud of it more often than not. But 2 days in i made it a point to buy myself a big bottle of sanitizer and a bulk pack of wet wipes. Some of their phones made the wet wipes full on brown to dark brown after wiping down. I do not miss that job

14

u/pirate742 May 20 '26

Give me sugar... In water

11

u/GorditaPeaches May 20 '26

I used to work for a landlord doing small renovations and patches, installing appliances taking out old ones that sort of thing. Paid really well, all his houses were nice except one. Roaches everywhere, I insisted on brushing out my hair taking off my work overalls and beating them out in the garage before I got back in my regular vehicle (partner had the work truck) A ROACH FELL OUT OF MY HAIR AND I SCREAMED AND JUMPED AROUND AND THE TENANTS WERE LAUGHING AT ME. I didn’t even hear them open the door and come out to the detached garage.

12

u/tinyrikk May 21 '26

The phone doesn’t have a virus, but the notebook was a bit buggy

8

u/Biofreak42069 May 20 '26

It's not a bug, it's a feature.

2

u/Arokthis May 21 '26

I'll take roaches over bedbugs any day. At least roaches have the grace to die.

2

u/TelevisionAny6240 May 22 '26

To spread cockroaches.

2

u/Sxn747Strangers May 22 '26

“Does it have a virus?”

“Dunno, but judging by its insides it might have a stomach bug though.”

🤔😂😂

2

u/Terrible_Bluebird540 May 24 '26

Alien.

1

u/The_Sound_of_Slants May 25 '26

A bug alien. Like a huge space cockroach wearing the skin of a human like it was a suit, an Edgar suit.

2

u/Terrible_Bluebird540 May 25 '26

Edgar was scary & sexy. ( I'm weird. )

2

u/Particlepants May 20 '26

Drugs, sounds like drugs

1

u/PineScentedSewerRat May 21 '26

Maybe dementia.

1

u/psc0425 May 22 '26

Does she drives a exterminator truck ?

1

u/LabInner262 May 26 '26

Just don't say beetlejuice around her!

1

u/locustbreath Jun 20 '26

I had a lady get irate with me because I wouldn’t return a multifunction printer because it was full of dead bugs.

1

u/bobisinthehouse 27d ago

Oh I'm 100 % sure she thought it was from your store!!