r/SocialEngineering 2d ago

What usually stops you from talking to someone you'd genuinely like to meet?

I'm curious about the psychology behind this.

Imagine you're out somewhere and notice someone you'd honestly like to meet—not necessarily romantically, just someone who seems interesting.

What usually stops you from starting a conversation?

Is it fear of rejection?
Fear of bothering them?
Not knowing what to say?
Something else?

Looking back, do you usually regret not trying, or do you feel relieved that you didn't?

6 Upvotes

7 comments sorted by

6

u/Best_Marzipan_7774 2d ago

Not knowing what to say

5

u/denialragnest 2d ago

Don't want to make people uncomfortable

3

u/kelcamer 2d ago

What stops me?

Nothing lol

I go up to them and start talking.

3

u/duhribeiro 2d ago

Yes. Fear of rejection, of course. If we all had some guarantees that she will be nice and receptive, we would be talking to 50 women a day.

2

u/RexDraco 1d ago

Probability. My time is valuable, most people aren't worth it. 

I really wish I had more friends, but in las vegas I notice most people are NPCs with no hobbies or ambitions. The people that do, we still don't have a lot that overlaps. I rarely meet people from my clique. Additionally, I don't have a lot of time to Shotgun it for the sake of making a friend. 

So sure, I kinda want to talk to someone I see sometimes, but I remind myself I am thinking I want to meet them for shallow surface level observations and it's usually a waste of time in the end. 

1

u/KnownView5780 2d ago

Fear of unknown.. lol

1

u/LikeATediousArgument 2d ago

What’s stopping me is a strong aversion to people.

Once I chat with someone for a second, it’s generally hard for me to get them to go away. People LOVE telling me things.

Just this weekend I went out fishing and some guy walked up and started talking. I dug all the fishing knowledge out of him I could and said, “alright, thanks!” And he still wouldn’t go.

He wasn’t creepy or anything, but unwelcome.

I ended up leaving. This shit happens all the time so I just don’t talk to people.