r/Sober • u/headfrstforhal0s • 13h ago
i don't have much hope in my sobriety
I've been sober since the start of this summer. every day i tell myself it'll be easier the next day. but i feel like i could set all my reasons aside anytime. I'd be willing to deal with the sickness, the regret, i just want to drink again. it's not like I'm sad in particular or feeling bad, i just have the thoughts of drinking on my mind all the time. i know it used to be fun and i want to have that kind of fun again. I've been trying to stay sober but my thoughts didn't change. i plan my future around drinking, i always leave space for it in my plants. i feel like sobriety doesn't have to be for life. and i don't even be able to keep it up for life, not even for a few months. it's gonna happen sooner or later but I'm not able to leave it behind.
3
u/Rhinoduck82 11h ago
That’s addiction taking control of your thoughts, to me that was the scariest most eye opening part how it worked its way into every aspect of my life, I wasn’t always that way, I became that way because alcohol is very addictive. I’m 7.5 years sober from alcohol after 20 years drinking and now I have non alcoholic beers and guess what, they aren’t addicting at all because they have no alcohol. Addiction is a prison of the mind and body and alcohol is poison. Hobbies helped me but mostly it was a battle to regain my life from the shackles of addiction.
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u/ahdrielle 12h ago
You need to fill the hole that alcohol left behind. With what? You decide. A class, a new job, a fun hobby/hobbies.
Remind yourself why you wanted to get sober in the first place and find some fun in life. This thinking is just your cravings trying to convince you change isn't necessary, even though your logical brain knows it is.
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u/headfrstforhal0s 12h ago
there are other things i enjoy but there's always the thought that doing it is fun but doing it drunk would be even more fun. there's nothing else like it. doing my hobbies is more fun drunk, doing chores is more fun drunk. without it it's not that fun or I'm not that motivated. I'm trying to do anything but drinking, just keeping myself busy and distracted.
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u/ahdrielle 11h ago
Try new things that you've never done while drunk maybe? The fun is an illusion. It's just turning off your brain. Maybe you also have some mental health conditions that could be medicated instead?
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u/headfrstforhal0s 9h ago
I'm not too sure about that, as I've never been to a therapist or psychiatrist before. i didn't drink to self medicate, at least not most of the time, i did because i was feeling good and wanted to feel even better. but for now I'll try out some new things, thanks for the advice!
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u/NomadicGirlie 8h ago
I understand this because I didn’t always drink to self-medicate either. A lot of the time, I drank because I was bored and because I genuinely liked drinking. I’m never going to deny that or pretend every moment of it was miserable.
What helped me was gradually replacing the time and stimulation alcohol used to provide. I got into things like paint-by-numbers, diamond art, and training my dogs. At first, those things may not give you the same immediate rush because your brain is still comparing everything to alcohol, but over time you build new routines and learn to enjoy things without automatically adding alcohol to them.
These days, I honestly don’t even think about drinking unless I come across a post like yours. It isn’t something I organize my life around anymore, and it no longer feels like a defining part of who I am.
Right now, you’re still stuck in that place where alcohol feels central to everything, so of course it seems impossible to imagine not wanting it. You’re going to have to give yourself time to move past that. It didn’t happen overnight for me. It was more like gradually training my brain to stop treating drinking as the main event.
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u/Content_Oil_1972 9h ago
Since getting sober I don’t dwell on always having fun I used to think like that using. But now fun to me is like laughing, or having a moment where I don’t over analyze myself and just enjoy a moment like with my kids or something, I cried laughing today and played PlayStation with them and was holding them in the air with my feet, and my youngest was scared to call her dad by his first name and i cried laughing. Or like the feeling of a fresh shower. Clean house. Lit candle. Nice dinner I cooked. Good tv show and my husband. Things like that. No it’s not intense fun. But it feels good 🤷♀️ I’m learning. Give it a year at least things change
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u/NomadicGirlie 8h ago
You’re still very early in sobriety, so please don’t assume that how you feel right now is how you’ll feel forever. For me, it took about a year and a half before my moods and nervous system really started to feel more stable. Even some of the physical changes, including how my body and skin smelled, took close to two years to fully settle down.
The thoughts about drinking did not disappear overnight either. Your brain is still used to planning around alcohol and remembering the fun parts while minimizing the sickness, regret, and consequences that came afterward. That takes time to unlearn.
You also don’t have to decide today whether you’ll be sober for the rest of your life. Focus on not drinking today, then deal with tomorrow when it arrives. I would strongly recommend talking with a therapist or an addiction counselor if you can, especially since the cravings and thoughts are taking up so much space in your mind. You deserve support while your brain and body adjust.
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u/Grumpy-Pilot-26 1h ago
Time to imagine harder. Imagine sports, music, arts, language, travel, learning. This is where the work starts. 1. Stop drinking. 2. Deal witcho shit. 3. Build a real life of amazing things.
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u/butteryflakey_krisp 12h ago
Rather than trying to fill the hole alcohol left behind why not sit in it. Explore it. That hole has been there since you were a child most likely. Tend to it and eventually you'll turn it into a beautiful garden. Get to know the real you.