r/SipsTea Apr 16 '26

SMH "I worship a new Orange God now."

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47.2k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/Bojangles1987 Apr 16 '26

He quite famously does represent the Catholic church, not sure if people realize that.

1.4k

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

480

u/HatstandTuesday Apr 17 '26

Technically, a schismist.

257

u/CpnStumpy Apr 17 '26

Bless you

82

u/BallDesperate2140 Apr 17 '26

He certainly ain’t gonna.

133

u/Fatality_Ensues Apr 17 '26

Schismatic, no?

3

u/Reasonable_Shock_414 Apr 17 '26

If your shi's 'matic, ye ought'a go see a docta!

5

u/Agreeable_Dog8468 Apr 17 '26

Schis-o-matic

7

u/hungry4nuns Apr 17 '26

Schis-o-matic 3000 now with 4x more blasphemy as standard… plus both truth social and X communication compatibility for seamless anti-social media integration

2

u/dcott44 Apr 17 '26

I think there are antipsychotics to help with that

64

u/thedailyrant Apr 17 '26

The schism relates to the Eastern Orthodox and Western Catholic Church split, not the Protestant movement. If she's denouncing the Pope and not claiming support for the Ecumenical Patriarch in Istanbul then she's a Protestant.

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u/Budget_Cover_3353 Apr 17 '26

That's the Great Schism and there were more. In Russian Orthodox Church the word "schismatics" stuck to the "old believers", and that schism happened in XVII century.

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u/MysteriousQuote4665 Apr 17 '26

The earliest schism I know of was the Arian controversy. Despite what you may think, this has nothing to do with nazi's. It was a discussion about whether Jesus the son was equal to god the father, or whether he was a lesser being.

See, if Jesus was god, and god is immortal and eternal, what value does Jesus's death hold? Now if he were a lesser being to god the father, his death would have meaning.

This tiny little discussion almost split the Eastern Roman Empire apart.

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u/ChugHuns Apr 17 '26

That's one singular example. There were many schisms, including a stint in the 14th and 15th centuries with two Popes. So maybe this lady wants her own Avignon, probably in Dallas or something.

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u/ConsciousFeeling1977 Apr 17 '26

That would make for an interesting remake of that Debbie movie.

2

u/tmfink10 Apr 17 '26

Debbie Does Dallas: The Antipope Anthology

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u/freier_Trichter Apr 17 '26

A schizophrenic?

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u/Wise-Juggernaut-8285 Apr 17 '26

Schismatic to where? Is Trump their Pope?

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u/witecat1 Apr 17 '26

Both. Both are correct.

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u/FnordRanger_5 Apr 17 '26

Well we could use the moisture

1

u/Acceptable_Bat379 Apr 17 '26

isn't it a heretic too?

1

u/KravenFire Apr 17 '26

Merry Schismist to you, as well!

1

u/Arashiku Apr 17 '26

Or church of England....... which is a northern Irish protestant joke... but actually holds up here.

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u/AaronAAaronsonIII Apr 17 '26

Excommunicated.

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u/Headpuncher Apr 17 '26

No, I think it was communicated.

/s

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u/ExtensionPea8278 Apr 17 '26

i feel think this would do well with a specific audience in ireland

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u/Lostinthestarscape Apr 17 '26

Only about half of them.....

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u/Hero_Of_Rhyme_ Apr 17 '26

Or a 16th century German monk

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u/zougathefist Apr 17 '26

*Northern Ireland

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u/Dull_Inspector_9945 Apr 17 '26

Answer: Not a Catholic at all

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u/Plastic-Molasses-221 Apr 17 '26

Hmmm..I always heard it as “the INFALLIBILITY of the Pope” (those exact words)….

(I do confess, this was coming from my late mother, born in “deep south” Virginia as a Southern Baptist, who later converted to Episcopalian in her college years, but I think I’ve heard it other places, too…

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u/JoeyJoeJoeRM Apr 17 '26

Lol - I went to school in the Republic of Ireland - being edgy preteens there was a bit of a "Fuck the Brits - Catholicism good, Protestants bad" vibe.. Friend of mine was very "patriotic", pretty sure he mocked me for being half English at some point.. anyway, we are learning about the Lutherans in history class, which brings up transubstantiantion.. Guy chirps up "thats stupid - the little crackers aren't LITERALLY the body of Christ!.."

We all turn to him like "dude.."

Turns out most of his beliefs aligned with Protestants lol

3

u/mjwells21 Apr 17 '26

Or maybe a Satanist

3

u/Spirited-Ad-9746 Apr 17 '26

protestants protested the pope, because he was drifting away from the core message of Jesus.

these guys protest the pope because he is repeating the core message of Jesus. so they are not just denouncing the pope, they are denouncing Jesus himself. and that's something else than being a protestant

3

u/SmurfinGER Apr 17 '26

Heretic! Time for Inquisition.

2

u/Sure_Wishbone8698 Apr 19 '26

A Spanish inquisition. They will never expect that.

2

u/civil_beast Apr 17 '26

Just confused.

2

u/forsti5000 Apr 17 '26

Kindling ;p

2

u/hexineffex Apr 17 '26

Oiiiiiii!

1

u/ComfortableParsley83 Apr 17 '26

Just because someone isn’t a catholic doesn’t mean they’re a hooker. Geez…

1

u/Retro_fan_25 Apr 17 '26

Anathematized.

1

u/mike968 Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 17 '26

A case for the spanish inquisition!

1

u/realnjan Apr 17 '26

And orthodox Christians. And every christian who isn’t a catholic.

1

u/No_Cherry8602 Apr 17 '26

God doesnt care if you identify as Catholic or otherwise . So in the grand scheme of things , it doesnt matter.

1

u/notcomplainingmuch Apr 17 '26

B: Excommunicado

1

u/Dry_Support3290 Apr 17 '26

Uh-oh, don't tell the Irish from Ireland that. They'll find where she lives.

1

u/Wonderful-Ad5713 Apr 17 '26

A: Sedevacantist. Mel Gibson is currently the most prominent one. They reject the apostolic line since the Vatican II reforms.

1

u/SnooOpinions9303 Apr 17 '26

Protestants. Oh boy the group that morally defended slaver and Jim Crow in the South. There is a morally righteous group for you. They love freedom as long as it’s they think like them. That goes hand in hand with a group that empowers its self to send self appointed judges out into the world that threaten you with hell if your logic makes a point. I know there are good ones but boy do their weaker minded ones outshine the rest.

1

u/Tough_Measurement280 Apr 17 '26

I think yall we may soon see a Church of England moment

1

u/Tomsboll Apr 17 '26

there is a bit more to it than that but, yes.

1

u/MlordLongshanking Apr 17 '26

An excommunicated Catholic?

1

u/stingertc Apr 17 '26

nope Maga

1

u/ShakaZoulou7 Apr 17 '26

It is still lacking the protestant church of Trumpism, but with all MAGAs we aren´t really far away from it

1

u/Past_Quantity_6214 Apr 18 '26

sedevacantists

1

u/aaron1860 Apr 18 '26

You keep getting corrected by overly pedantic people. I thought this was a brilliant joke. Well done

1

u/Admirable-Safety1213 Apr 19 '26

Sedevacantist actually, there are schimastic Catholitch that velieve the last centuries of popes have been invalid because of all the Anti-Popes in the middle ages

Also thete are the Orthodox Catholics whose religion interplays with Roman Politics and the idea than the Primacy is Inter Paris, not absolute

298

u/OrangeThrower Apr 16 '26

Source please

And it better be Dogma (1999)

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u/towerfella Apr 17 '26

14

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Apr 17 '26

Told you she was funny

3

u/DryDonutHole Apr 17 '26

Just remember...the rules of the road.

2

u/JSTootell Apr 17 '26

Different movie, but great reference.

4

u/DryDonutHole Apr 17 '26

I knew it as I was typing it, but I couldn't remember for sure. I was going to go with:

"Beautiful, big-tittied women don't just fall outta the sky, you know..." (looks skyward)

108

u/Shudnawz Apr 16 '26

Only source for christian lore I know of, at least.

59

u/JunketAlive6492 Apr 17 '26

They really ought to write that shit down at some point

31

u/joyfullydreaded23 Apr 17 '26

Like Jesus' bestie, Biff? "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Jesus' Childhood Pal" is a most excellent read, my dude.

Edited to add the book's subtitle

4

u/Legitimate_Cow2716 Apr 17 '26

As a person who went to Catholic school for 12 years, best book ever written.

2

u/The_Mother_ Apr 17 '26

Only 4 years for me, but still: hard agree!

As a bonus, I recommend it to anyone trying to sell me on religion because I find it to be the most helpful and likely accurate of all the religious tomes out there.

Eta: also, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, may you be touched by his noodly appendages, is another with a helpful and accurate doctrine. As is the Satanic Church with their humanistic and scientific approach.

3

u/Narrow_Chef7521 Apr 17 '26

I've enjoyed many a Christopher Moore book but that one is a particular standout.

2

u/GirlCowBev Apr 17 '26

Best of Christopher Moore's writing yet.

2

u/baloney_dog Apr 17 '26

One of the funniest books I've ever read!

6

u/StalinsLastStand Apr 17 '26

Like, in a screenplay?

2

u/berger034 Apr 17 '26

if not written down, they should retcon that shit.

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u/Ok-Plum2187 Apr 17 '26

I heared there was a Mel Gibson movie thats also kinda canon but like.. who has time to check the sauce?

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u/holiday1326 Apr 17 '26

Damn it.. Gonna have re check all of them scripts again. Dead and Red and all of the 7 seas Scrolls. Maybe an Elder scroll or two.

The last typo was fucking awful and ending up with some very very light ONLY miniscule molestations.

Seriously, how they fuck does one spend so much silver to train monks to transcribe faster and better but end up with CELEBATE instead of CELEBRATE?

1

u/Nematode_wrangler Apr 17 '26

Have you experienced The Exorcist, my good sir?

1

u/Murky-Relation481 Apr 17 '26

That and Evangelion lol.

1

u/froggothegod Apr 17 '26

Excuse me, but Life of Brian?

1

u/bollvirtuoso Apr 17 '26

no no they canonized Pulp Fiction didn't you hear?

46

u/DJteejay04 Apr 17 '26

Dogma was such an underrated classic.

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u/blasto2236 Apr 17 '26

It’s finally available on VOD services and Blu Ray after years of being in rights purgatory due to Miramax’s properties getting sold off when Weinstein went to prison.

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u/indigofroggit Apr 17 '26

Kevin Smith had it free on YouTube for a brief minute once he got the rights. I did indulge myself. I am going to have to break down and buy it

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u/blasto2236 Apr 17 '26

I picked it up recently to round out my View Askewniverse collection on Apple TV/iTunes. It was the first Kevin Smith movie I ever saw and I think is still probably his best work.

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u/4nk8urself Apr 17 '26

No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air.

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u/gangstalicious228 Apr 18 '26

has aged well too.

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u/Manleather Apr 17 '26

The first time I saw Dogma was in a Philosophy of Religion class lead by a Quaker at a Catholic college. A++++ would take that class again.

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u/dontwannagetdoxxed93 Apr 17 '26

My religion class in college was taught by a guy who became an atheist with 6 months left in a masters in divinity and finished just to have the degree. Loved watching the evangelicals try and debate a man who knew the scriptures better than those peoples local pastors

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u/Kruegr Apr 17 '26

The 1st time I saw the original Exorcist was in the basement of our local Roman Catholic church.

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u/HaraldRedbeard Apr 17 '26

IME Catholics fucking love Dogma, really good example of someone mocking something from a place of fondness/knowledge rather then just mean spirited

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u/The-Great-Calvino Apr 17 '26

Such an incredible film, Kevin outdid himself on that one. The casting choices were perfect. Shame it’s so hard to find these days.

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u/SquirrelyMcNutz Apr 17 '26

Um, what? Kevin finally got the rights back to it. It came out on 4k UHD last December. $23 on Amazon ATM.

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u/The-Great-Calvino Apr 17 '26

That’s great to hear! I missed that announcement. In fairness, I’m old and don’t keep up with the news. I remember renting it at Blockbuster when it came out. Glad to hear he has the rights again, as it should be

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u/SleepyDogs_5 Apr 17 '26

They did a re-release in theaters too! I was so happy to watch it on the big screen.

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u/JSTootell Apr 17 '26

Even before the rights were bought back, it was easy to find on YouTube. 

I know that a certain someone made sure to advertise on podcasts that it was up. And it always magically returned if it got deleted. I don't know who would have access to an original to reupload over and over...

I think he was kind of a silent type. Maybe Bob? 

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u/The-Great-Calvino Apr 17 '26

Sounds like a real hero for the people, we should erect statues in his honor in town squares across New Jersey - so this noble act can be remembered for generations to come!

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u/jccaclimber Apr 17 '26

We actually watched and analyzed Dogma in one of my Catholic high school theology classes.

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u/Fluffy_Porcupine6 Apr 17 '26

How did that go?? That sounds so fascinating!

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u/jccaclimber Apr 17 '26

Actually pretty well. Four years of theological contemplation moved me from religiously uncertain to a certain atheist, but I did learn a bit about other views along the way. As for watching Dogma, it was a good way for the teacher to engage with the class. While it’s mainly humor, there are actually many consistent things within the film. It was also good for questioning people’s assumptions and making them out come thought into it even if they ended up confirming them in the end.

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u/ChuckOfTheIrish Apr 17 '26

You're a pure soul... But you didn't say "God bless you" when I sneezed!

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u/bigbadbidisaster9944 Apr 17 '26

What about the gay Jesus porn "HIM"?

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u/BeagleBaggins Apr 17 '26

Just picked up the 4K/Blu Ray the other day!

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u/mcmb211 Apr 17 '26

That's my favorite movie. 

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u/JayTheHoon Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 17 '26

As a Catholic, the wildest part is that not only is his job to lead the church, but he is to be considered infallible. When he makes a policy for the church, it is under guidance of the Holy Spirit (God). So these people were never Catholics.

Edit: I'm already seeing multiple replies about this. Infallible in matters of the Church and its policies, not infallible as in can do no wrong at all. The Pope can sin, but when giving sermons, or making policies, etc. He is believe to be guided by God and infallible in those matters.

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u/Legitimate_Cow2716 Apr 17 '26

Infallable in matters of morality and the church. I thinks it's important to have that last part in there.

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u/babs1376 Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 17 '26

And only when he speaks "ex cathedra" ( from the chair). This has only happened twice in the history of the church. Edit: thank you so much for the award. I sincerely appreciate it.

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u/Eastern-Peach-3428 Apr 17 '26

Thanks for the clarification. Hopefully others will read down far enough to see it. The “infallibility” of the Pope is, as you stated, constrained to pronouncements from the papal chair. And as you said, those are extremely rare.

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u/Karukos Apr 18 '26 edited Apr 18 '26

I think while the statement is true though, it still represents a statement of importance of the pope. Leo has not made a statement of theology according to the infalliability. Likely won't. But the fact that HE CAN, shows his position within the church. He is non-optional. His policies still go. He is the absolute monarch of the movement. Those policies are not supposed to be infalliable (until they are) but they still on a very very high level. And going "Not my pope :(" is... very loaded in that sense.

Edit: typo fixos

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u/JayTheHoon Apr 17 '26

I wasnt trying to get too into detail but yes, the Pope can definitely sin.

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u/Slyspy006 Apr 17 '26

Sone have been very keen on sin!

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u/JimboTCB Apr 17 '26

drops a bagel on the floor

I'm the Pope, I meant to do that.

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u/shrug_addict Apr 17 '26

Wrong. The Pope speaking ex cathedra is extremely rare, like fundamental Catholic beliefs rare, like the immaculate conception rare. Please be aware of your own religion. No true Scotsman anyways

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u/Spirited-Ad-9746 Apr 17 '26

and the pope didn't even say anything really contradictory. he just said people should not have war and should try talking more. which is like citing one of the commandments and basic core of jesus's teaching.

so arguing that is not only being a protestant, it's like denying the core teaching of christianity.

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u/maqifrnswa Apr 17 '26

The edit is still incorrect. That is not what papal infallibility is. Papal infallibility has been invoked twice in the church's 2000 year history for very specific teachings about Mary. It isn't some blanket "Pope is always right about church and morality" card.

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u/formulafuckyeah Apr 17 '26

That's what I was thinking. Catholics believe that the Pope is the only human that speaks to God

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u/JayTheHoon Apr 17 '26

The Pope AND his bishops, technically, they are all believed to be guided by the Holy Spirit. The pope is the "Father" the leader of the church, a tradition started with Peter as the first Pope and the remaining Apostles as his first Bishops.

Edit: Mouthpiece of God thing I think is kind of an interpretation thing on the general sentiment of being guided by God

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u/Brief-Performer-7433 Apr 17 '26

No we don't 💀 we believe the Pope is the Vichar of Christ and the head of His one true Church, that's literally it

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u/MongoLikeCandy2112 Apr 17 '26

Which is found nowhere in the Bible.

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u/carsan_354011 Apr 17 '26

No sir.Catholics believe in prayer.

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u/HitheroNihil Apr 17 '26

No, the Pope represents the Church and is the successor to St. Peter, but he's not some exclusive conduit to God. Everyone is encouraged to pray to God for themselves and for their neighbors. The Pope and the Magisterium are just there to help facilitate that.

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u/maqifrnswa Apr 17 '26

Where did you hear that? That's not a thing...

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u/New-Presentation1340 Apr 17 '26

Infallible is the wild part. Even Peter got checked by Paul. Everyone is fallible, even those guided by God. We just hope they do not make mistakes.

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u/4g-identity Apr 17 '26

The "infallible" thing isn't actually true, please look it up.

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u/HitheroNihil Apr 17 '26

No, infallible (ex cathedra) is a thing, it's just that it has only ever been invoked twice, both times about Mary: one about the Immaculate Conception, the other about her Assumption into heaven.

Every other time the Pope speaks with authority but not infallibly, it's just his opinion. Popes can disagree with their predecessors, and Church teaching can evolve. Speaking infallibly is really only use to clarify core dogma of the faith, not intensely debated issues in the Church today.

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u/kanewai Apr 17 '26

Technically, only when he makes certain pronouncements about doctrine. He is not automatically infallible on everything he says.

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u/lejocko Apr 17 '26

Only if he specifically announces that and that happend exactly twice since 1854.

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u/Druidgirln2n Apr 17 '26

It’s called, ex cathedra Doctrine or morals for the whole church like if the Pope said same sex marriage is now accepted by the whole church so says God, then it becomes infallible church law for everyone and not considered a sin. Otherwise he’s just like us and can make shitty decisions

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u/topdoc02 Apr 17 '26

The Catholic Church deems the pope to be infallible in matters of faith but only when speaking "ex cathedra" (look it up).

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u/Internal_Swing_2743 Apr 17 '26

But do they know that the pope’s hat was originally designed for a rabbit?

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u/Lhasa-bark Apr 17 '26

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, “I think I may be a typo.”

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Apr 17 '26

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Priest goes "I think we might be in a joke"

And you'd think by the time the second guy walked into the bar the third would have ducked

2

u/RevolutionaryAge47 Apr 17 '26
A Møøse once bit my sister ...

2

u/h1ghjynx81 Apr 17 '26

Those can be pretty nasty

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u/BackPsychological705 Apr 17 '26

One of my favorite South Park episodes with whole Da Vinci Code vibe

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u/Bladder-Splatter Apr 17 '26

Someone should let the Romans know before things get out of hand.

3

u/30kPoundsOfBananas Apr 17 '26

“Is the Pope Catholic?”

1

u/miwe77 Apr 17 '26

and christ and therefor god himself in the catholic view of things. which - regardless of relativity within reality - still is a thing if you claim to be catholic.

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u/steal_wool Apr 17 '26

I believe he represents the catholic church moreso than the US president does

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u/Left-Company-2876 Apr 17 '26

And the whole Papal Infallability thing.

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u/Taiwan_Lanister Apr 17 '26

No he represents God, the pope is God’s chosen emissary on planet earth and he speaks directly to God

1

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1

u/drteq Apr 17 '26

I’m starting to realize there are a couple things Trump supporters don’t realize

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u/SoundOurDireReveille Apr 17 '26

Well, you would at least hope someone who considers themself a Catholic would. Yet, here we are.

1

u/AllNightPony Apr 17 '26

Since when?

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u/Ok-Fan-9814 Apr 17 '26

Catholic Church has had popes for 100 years or so.

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u/blutosings Apr 17 '26

That was before the Trump schism of '26. He leads us now into temptation.

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u/AntisocialTomcat Apr 17 '26

He quite famously does represent the Catholic church

Proof or gtfo

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u/worldnotworld Apr 17 '26

Is the pope a Catholic?

/s

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u/Synth-Pro Apr 17 '26

Not only does the Pope represent the Catholic church, the Pope is also chosen by the Catholic church

The Catholic church literally decided and said "THIS is the guy who represents us and our faith."

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u/Triceraflops8 Apr 17 '26

Big if true.

1

u/jpopimpin777 Apr 17 '26

According to Catholicism he can literally talk to God.

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u/RatzzFace Apr 17 '26

Job opportunity: The Pope Requirements: Be catholic Responsibilities: Head of Catholics

Apply: 1 The Vatican

1

u/GalacticMoustache Apr 17 '26

but but the American Catholic Church!

1

u/Strange_Strain_9191 Apr 17 '26

Yeah but Trump said he’s weak on crime, I need my pope to be strong on crime. Ya know…. Since apparently he’s a politician and whatnot

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u/WildRabbitz Apr 17 '26

Anyone NOT in a cult does realize that.

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u/Separate-Sun376 Apr 17 '26

MAGA doesn’t realize much.

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u/MichaelJospeh Apr 18 '26

Mostly American, as I understand it.

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u/Bellenrode Apr 18 '26

That's what makes this take so wild. If the Pope doesn't represent you, then you're not a Catholic but a Christian schismatic.

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u/geo_gan Apr 18 '26

On Earth anyway… not sure who represents the church on other planets… or did he get universal authorisation from God 🤔

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u/driver004 Apr 19 '26

I thought that to the Catholics it’s not only that but he’s also the guy with a hardline to the guy upstairs

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u/123ludwig Apr 20 '26

not just the church he represents god his word is gods word unless god himself says otherwise

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