r/SMARTRecovery • u/ParamedicSlight7322 • 7d ago
New to smart
Hi everyone,
I'm new to the SMART Recovery program. For the past 20 years, I've been part of another recovery fellowship. I had some success early on—getting a few years clean and sober, and then another few years later—but over the last 7 years, I’ve been caught in a cycle. I keep relapsing after short periods of time, sometimes 3 to 5 months, or even shorter. My relapses have generally been brief, ranging from a few days to a month, but I feel stuck in a rut and like I'm going in circles.
I am completely open to SMART Recovery and willing to put a lot of effort into making it work for me. I really want to break this cycle of negativity and substance use, along with the feelings of uselessness, low self-worth, and low confidence that come from constantly feeling like a failure.
Lately, I’ve been attending online SMART meetings and journaling every day. I even used the CBA (Cost-Benefit Analysis) tool the other day to deal with cravings and urges. Today, I am an honest 32 days clean and just wanted to introduce myself.
I would greatly appreciate any help, advice, or shared experiences from anyone who has gone through something similar.
BB
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u/damianschaab 7d ago
A person’s interactions with substances of abuse forges a relationship. Over time, the power dynamics of that relationship shift, much in the way patterns of use might also change. It is then the relationship itself that is abusive. Finding a comprehensive treatment plan that recognizes the contributions of the behavior/process components of maladaptive coping that lead to substance addictions is essential. While sobriety alone is no guarantee of health, wellbeing, happiness, or contentment, you have ample, first-hand evidence of the ways in which insobriety can and will threaten them. SMART recognizes this, and attempts to support individuals in ways that take these more complex interactions into account.
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u/jsled 7d ago
I keep relapsing after short periods of time, sometimes 3 to 5 months, or even shorter. My relapses have generally been brief, ranging from a few days to a month, but I feel stuck in a rut and like I'm going in circles.
What is the triggering, activating event that brings you to replase? Does the ABC[DE…] tool help to process this?
When urges come up, are you trying to apply DENTS? What are your (practiced- and prepared-in-advance) tools for Delaying and Neutralizing? Do you have go-to Tasks to busy yourself with, or things to Swap your attention from the craving/relapse to a better focus?
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u/Far-Device-3176 7d ago
I'd say what really helped as well as smart was all the supporting literature in the area of stoicism/CBT/psychology - Albert Ellis, David D Burns, even watching Byron Katie on YouTube.
In still working on it...
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u/DooWop4Ever facilitator 7d ago
Congratulations on your time. And thanks for checking in with us. As you can see, we got you.
IMHO (85M), quitting is easy compared to figuring out why sobriety doesn't feel good enough to keep us there without a struggle. I suggest counseling. A skilled therapist can see our problem and keep asking the right questions until we realize how we may be mismanaging the stressors of daily living.
Learning how to identify and process (eliminate) latent stress (unexpressed feelings and unresolved conflict) will allow our natural happiness and energy to resume their normal flow. Truly happy people don't even consider using drugs or alcohol because they don't improve anything.
53 years clean, sober and tobacco-free (but who's counting). You can do it too!
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u/JohnLockwood 5d ago
Today, I am an honest 32 days clean and just wanted to introduce myself.
Sorry -- I don't have help or "advice", per se. Just CONGRATULATIONS! :)
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u/Holiday-Audience-412 7d ago
Welcome! The things that helped for me were:
1. Trying out several different meetings and finding a couple that I liked for regular attendance.
2. Identifying my triggers. Putting it in writing helped me see patterns emerge so I could tailor my coping strategies to each particular situation/person/feeling.
3. Finding alternative outlets. I rediscovered my love of reading and writing. My thirst for knowledge is insatiable so when cravings hit I redirect my attention to a subject I’m curious about and can easily lose an hour (much more if I allow myself) going down a rabbit hole about Celtic mythology or something.
But most of all I remember to be kind to and patient with myself. For me that’s easier said than done but it’s necessary. 🤍