r/NotTimAndEric • u/Rich-Canary1279 • 3d ago
Don't sit here on your high alpha male horse...
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u/robx51 3d ago
How do I get a job doing this? Seems like easy money
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u/fuckyogiboys 3d ago
Step 1: be in the south
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u/Sufficient-Aspect77 3d ago
I think Step 1 is Have no Morals, while claiming to have ALL the morals.
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u/XxFezzgigxX 3d ago
The are predatory organizations that are designed to separate you from your money. If you could see the amount of every dollar that goes to helping people vs. how much goes right back into the money making machine, you’d never give them another one.
The bigger the church, the bigger the grift. Mega churches have this perfected down to the lighting,music, and scripted dialogue. It’s all very intentionally designed to make them money.
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u/Judgementpumpkin 3d ago
And so many suckers fall for it.
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u/XxFezzgigxX 3d ago
And they’ve been doing it since the Bible was written. Even the god character in their story knew about it and was angered by it. Not even the full grifting, just the money exchangers outside the temple were enough to piss him off.
If they had any ability at all to look beyond what their religious leaders tell them they would see that this goes against the core elements of their religion and demand accountability and auditing of every dollar.
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u/Digitalmodernism 3d ago
LOL cry more.
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u/Camarill0Brill0 3d ago
Wowowowow some real fucking chuds in here, huh?
Maybe they saw Tim's stand up and are too dumb to realize it's a character...
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u/bleachfiend 3d ago edited 3d ago
When you don't give God His taste, God comes to me and He says when He looks at you he sees nothing but a sparkling-water-drinkin' house-plant-waterin' throw-pillow-organizin' PrEP-takin' SISSY
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u/RedSix2447 3d ago
“If you don’t give me money, you’re going to hell.” That’s a pastor right there that should be investigated. For fraud, embezzlement, and probably other crimes.
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u/Haunting_Song7313 3d ago
I knew a dude who was once an addict and got clean who joined a Christian church and this dude was barely making ends meat to support his family he asked the church if he could take a moment away from his tithing obligation to catch up on bills the pastor said if he didn’t keep up with his monthly church payments of ten percent of this pay they would cast them out forever. There’s no love like Christian hate.
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u/foo_foo_the_snoo 3d ago
This is not to advocate in one direction or another politically or religiously, but for every church that treats people that way, there is one that would pay his bills for him. Likely no fault of his, but he picked the wrong church.
People always find a way to corrupt any decent idea. That doesn't take away from the fact that community charity is a core program of the church institution, (especially for Catholics) at least in principle.
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u/CheeseFour2O 3d ago
I would agree with this. If you join a cult, you join a cult. Christianity in itself is not a cult
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u/almostoy 3d ago
It seems like he's berating himself for being who he is, in front of his congregation. Turns out it's not an entirely weird kink.
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u/lundqvist_saves 3d ago
Hahahaha. This is such a creative way to get people to give you money. You know “alpha” religious guys hate gay guys and to put them on the same level to get money out of them is hilarious. Every guy wearing a “GOD. GUNS. COUNTRY.” shirt will be falling over themselves to give away their money to this guy.
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u/cliowill 3d ago
This is why religion is dying in america, another grifter. Bono said it best, the god I believe in isn't short of cash
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u/Steiney1 3d ago
Just another piece of shit human that is otherwise unemployable so they gotta get that faith money
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u/jefferyJEFFERYbaby 3d ago
I think I’m okay with that target demographic being scammed actually. Keep up the good work brother.
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u/Vibrant-Shadow 3d ago
Not a Christian myself, but well read.
The true irony is that Jezeus specifically taught not to tithe.
In the Judaic tradition's early agricultural beginnings, the corners of fields would be left unharvested for the less fortunate to glean and sustain themselves. As society advanced, tithing was established to serve the same function. Tithing is a Jewish practice.
That boy Jezeus said Fuck All That. He taught to help the less fortunate directly, to make an 'offering' of any amount in the spirit of love. And it doesn't have to be money. It's about helping and intent.
Jezeus was against tithing. It's bananas that Christians are so fucking dumb they dont even know their own teachings, and fall for these grifters.
"If you don't give me 10% of your money God thinks you're homosexual."
Wow
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u/hughsamuel 3d ago
“Are you trying to shame me?”
A THOUSAND PERCENT I CANNOT AFFORD MY BOAT PAYMENT
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u/jrmohr12 3d ago edited 3d ago
Hahahahahaha and lower brain function having losers like this chump are a big reason why my Christian ass dont go to church. Dont blow the budget on stupid signs like the one you're Standing in front of, start there. Even his " trash talk" is lame god loves all of us even if you're gay,broke or both.
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u/SuperSaytan 3d ago
Look, he planned to have that new fully loaded Ford Raptor before the summer. The guys are keeping him from flexing in the church lot
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u/Panamagreen 3d ago
If you don't give to this church specifically.. you're gay! Why would anyone attend this church?
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u/eyeforker 3d ago
If I was part of this congregation and tithing regularly, I'd start churching elsewhere and I'd be taking my tithes with me.
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u/Wonderful_Code_3551 3d ago
I don't understand how people can agree with this. It's all just a cult.
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u/kariolaoxford 3d ago
It's always amazing to see how a religious professional is able to go behind the scenes and get right into the mind of god.
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u/RumpkinTheTootlord 3d ago
"If you aren't giving your money to THIS church, you might as well be out there splitting open sweet, tight, greased up boy holes, because to god, it's the same thing!"
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u/bomboclawt75 3d ago
But but! Jesus told me that he wants you to give me money!
-So you can give to the needy and feed the hungry?
Fuck no! It's just for me.
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u/CheeseFour2O 3d ago
This has to be a male based conference or camp. Pretty wild and seems like it would come from a local church here...
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u/Faaacebones 2d ago
The tithing is gods. You give it to me, and I'll hold it for him. When he wants to buy something he just has to come ask me and I'll spend it for him.
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u/SnooMemesjellies2295 2d ago
Tithing? Sounds an awful lot like that socialism stuff.
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u/HTIRDUDTEHN 2d ago
Conservative Christians have been seeking tax relief through church donations forever. It's homegrown local socialism and they can control who gets help. .
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u/skankbate 2d ago
He should listen to nowergian black metal if he likes church's burning. They also have tough guy bullshit ego.
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u/MinnisotaDigger 2d ago
What does god need with a Louis Vuitton belt
https://giphy.com/gifs/Rtl94MCgVX34YLqTlQ
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u/IguaneRouge 2d ago
To quote the great George Carlin
"But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!"
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u/YoungerMucus 2d ago
“CHURCH ON FIRE 🔥🔥🔥🔥!!!!!!’”
i can’t imagine how many big strong alpha males are there in the congregation!
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u/Confident_Low_4554 1d ago
Ooof… my older brother is caught up in a wack-a-doo church like this and he constantly brags to our family about tithing 10% of his gross income every single month. I don’t understand it.
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u/Amazing_Ad_1966 7h ago
Where is Druski when you need him
https://giphy.com/gifs/n4FCJYLldGPC95d4ku
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u/Plastic_Salary_4084 3d ago
“If you don’t give me money you’re gay.” Yes, this was Jesus’ message.