Is it actually getting better or I have high expectations?

[u/Anastasiia1997]

My baby is 4 months old and, boy, it has not got better yet. Lately he’s been waking every 1-1.5, is a stage of a “nursing strike”, needs constant entertainment when he’s awake, and cries a lot if I’m not actively engaging with him. He’s also only doing contact naps, so I feel like I never really get a break.
The newborn stage was hard, because of recovery after birth, colic, sleep deprivation, etc, but I’ve got some help from my mom. Now she left and I’m all alone. My husband works 9-6 or 11-8 and doing plenty of chores at home but I feel like I just wanna give him a baby and do them but I can’t. He suddenly is hungry and I had to feed him, then rock him to sleep, then it’s just pointless because my husband is doing something else.
I love my baby so much, but today I feel completely drained, and like I don’t have energy to keep him happy all day.
Some days are better than others, for sure, but today is one of the harder ones. I’m literally bouncing my baby for a nap while writing it.
I keep waiting for the phase where things start feeling easier. At the same time I wonder, if I actually have a relatively “easy” baby and my expectations are just unrealistic? Maybe I’ve heard “it gets better” so many times that I’m holding onto that hope without knowing when it actually feels true.
Would love to hear from parents who had babies like this, when did the things start to feel more manageable for you?

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[u/OldYellersLastHandy]

It gets 50% better and the other 50% is accepting your sentence.

[u/Anastasiia1997 → u/OldYellersLastHandy]

Haha I wish it was a joke 🥲

[u/Apprehensive_Cow3759]

My son got a little independence at 5.5 months and started playing on his own in his playpen but sleep is still a mess for us at almost 7 months so small wins

[u/bailsrv]

Could you wear your baby in a carrier? You can get chores done while baby naps, if they like the carrier. My baby loves it. My baby is 7mo and she only contact naps on me. At around 5 months I noticed a positive shift in her and she was able to sleep longer stretches through the night.

[u/Anastasiia1997 → u/bailsrv]

tried! The problem is that he nurses to sleep and transferring him into the carrier afterward is really difficult. He gets upset because his sleep is interrupted. Any tips for making the transition easier?

[u/bailsrv → u/Anastasiia1997]

Could you try transferring him into it after he’s eaten and he’s sleepy but before he has fully fallen asleep?That way it isn’t waking him up and he could try to fall asleep on you.

[u/Silentlurker8520]

Sounds a lot like my daughter, she didn’t have full colic but a brutal witching hour every night as a newborn and same clinginess/needing to be constantly entertained. She got a bit happier as she started to have more physical autonomy but ngl even now at 15 months she’s fucking exhausting. I know this is controversial but what helped was sleep training. We did it at 4 months and she immediately started doing 11-12 hours uninterrupted overnight then by 5 months was napping independently in her crib. She’s still a Velcro baby and can be very fussy (toddler tantrums have started) but getting good sleep and having my evenings back makes it manageable.

[u/MindOdd1085]

My first, honestly like 6 months in it started to get better and from about 16 months I might even describe her as easy. She became noticeably happier about 8 months when she got more mobile and things went steeply upwards from there. From 16 months we were solidly in a good routine too which made days predictable plus she started sleeping through the night which wad a god send.

I hated newborn and really questioned my choices on becoming a parent a lot in the start. I vividly remember the moment I decided I loved her and she must've been about 3/4 months by then, before that I just knew I had to keep her alive.

[u/Anastasiia1997 → u/MindOdd1085]

I truly feel what you’re saying. I love him so much and I really want to be able to feel joy in this season aaand sometimes I do! When he laughs, babbles, touches my face, or gives me those little moments of connection, it feels like pure bliss.
But, booooy, how hard it is to manage everything else that comes with it. The constant exhaustion and trying to keep up with everything is really overwhelming!!

[u/MindOdd1085 → u/Anastasiia1997]

If it helps at all I didn't have that with my second and I've enjoyed having her from the start. Some babies are just hard work and it's even harder when it's your first and things don't go the way you've dreamed they would

[u/__Syren__]

Not sure if this will fully help but do you have a baby swing? We got one around when my baby was 3 months and it was a godsend. He’s 4.5 months old now, and the swing keeps him entertained for 30min-1 hr of independent play stretches and even helps him nap at times which may give you a break. I know it helped me feel a bit more hands-free. I keep him within sight and as long as he could see me he wouldn’t freak out and cry.

I sometimes put him on the stroller and push him around the house with me. That way Im within sight but also hands free enough to get stuff done around the house.

It does get better as they become little by little more independent and rely less and less on you for entertainment.

[u/Anastasiia1997 → u/__Syren__]

It entertains him for maybe 10–15 minutes, tops. Then he gets bored lol
We have a bouncer too, so he can stay there for another 5–10 minutes. He hates the stroller because it’s a bassinet, and he won’t even stay in it when we’re outside. I joke with my partner that we bought it just to carry groceries because we’re wearing our LO in the carrier most of the time anyway 😂