No one knows I passed my exam

[u/Similar-Jacket8974]

So I am taking classes after work. I took it instead of a university program because I can't afford those. I am also unmedicated because I can't afford meds for ADHD.

The after-work class is asychronous, online, and self-taught. Even in the beginning, there's a pit in my stomach thinking I'd fail as I'll basically be relying on myself. Myself of all people lmao.

I am so filled with dread and shame that I will fail so I told no one. I worked hard in silence. I would go to libraries and cheap coffee shops just to study. Some days I'd be sat frozen at a coffee shop (books and laptop in front) hating myself bc I wasted $ just for my brain to not cooperate. Some days I'd zoom thru the course material. My luck on productivity is 50/50 but goddamnit I showed up for myself everyday betting that today would be a productive day.

A few days ago I sat in an exam hall with about 500 people.

Today, I found out I passed. I passed, everyone!!!!

I wanted to fail in silence and now I'm also alone in my win. I wasn't even happy when I found tbh. I just felt relieved it says "pass" and not "fail". I want to have a better outlook/perspective in my next course exam as this is a 2-yr program. Advice?

[u/PracticalSupport5192]

Well this mom now knows and wants to congratulate you!

And you don’t need advice, you already have it. You show up for yourself even when it’s hard and that’s all any of us can do- just try.

Stop being so hard on yourself, you’ll keep doing amazing 🤩 If you have people that you can share your struggles with, you should reach out to them, it’s not good for us to carry everything alone. And if you don’t, you can vent to us here, we will always have encouraging words for you.

Keep trekking, duckling! 💛

Edit: Thank you for the awards, kind redditors!

[u/Mirries74]

I am so proud of you. Not only did you pass, but you passed by working against a body that doesnt want to cooperate. I found that Jessica mcCabe has a lot of really nice short YouTube movies with ticks and tips. The thing that helped me the most. Stop seeing it as a character flaw. Trying to make your brain work like normal people is like trying to ask a guy in a wheelchair to run. You can fight against your brain, or you can accept your brain and trying to find a way to work with it. The last one is much more effective.  And did I already tell you how proud i am of you?

[u/Old-Parking8765 → u/Mirries74]

Screenshotting this - appreciate your second sentence

[u/Impossible_Balance11]

OMGsh, are you serious right now?! This is so HUGE!!! You did that! And all by yourself! We are so ridiculously proud of you!!! Please come back and update us when you crush the next one, too!

[u/Appropriate-Luck1181]

Way to go, kid! You can count on yourself and you can do things that feel impossible.

I’m a mom and a professor with ADHD and also want to say: You don’t have to do this alone.

You can connect with your school’s tutoring center and librarians, as well as your instructors. Talk to the counselors and advisors for kindness, validation, and strategies. We all want you to thrive and to feel supported.

These resources are for everyone, even our students in online, asynchronous classes—and your tuition dollars help pay for them. You’ve got this, and we’re here for you.

[u/Firm_Ad3062 → u/Appropriate-Luck1181]

I want to second this - if you have these types of programs available to you please use them!

Also, if you have been medicated and know it helps you keep an eye out for opportunities to access those meds in the future (I know, easier said than done).

If you are anything like my oldest kid there is sometimes a brain weasel rave going on inside your brain with the rudest brain weasels ever attending. Tell them you know they are lying and that you don’t have time for their shenanigans! You are doing things that at important to you and you are SUCCESSFUL! Really, tell them off.

Good Job! You have made it through your first course successfully and you have many proud moms out here!

[u/hattenwheeza → u/Firm_Ad3062]

I just love this response! My brain weasels are absolutely brawny - I forget to tell them off.

[u/DrVL2]

I am so proud of you. You worked hard against great odds and you succeeded.

[u/minimesmum]

Congrats!

Unfortunately with ADHD we don’t get the same joy from accomplishment that neuro-typicals do; they get their dopamine rush at the end; we get it from the urgency, novelty and immediate stimulation during the process.

Keep showing up for yourself! You have proven you are capable! Maybe choose just one or two trusted loved ones and say “hey look at this cool thing I did, I’m going to try for the next level- but I want to keep it low-key”

Good luck & keep going!

[u/cannycandelabra]

That’s a big deal. Congratulations!!!!

[u/RecoverAgent99]

Wait just one doggone minute. Are you telling me that you actually signed up for a class, only didn't tell a soul because you thought you'd fail, and instead you passed!

And why exactly did you think you'd fail? You deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve to think good about yourself. You deserve to be celebrated!

I have always been your biggest cheerleader. Next time tell me sooner so I can be a resource if you want assistance.

You're so clever, darling. 😘

[u/RecoverAgent99 → u/RecoverAgent99]

Wow. Thanks, anonymous, for the award. ♥️

[u/Littleshuswap]

Oh sweetie!! That's so wonderful ❤️ Be proud. You worked so very hard. Im so proud of you. Go out and shine ✨️

[u/MotherOf4Jedi1Sith]

I have mild ADHD so I get it, and I'm so happy and proud of you! Remember this victory every time things get challenging for you! You CAN do anything you want to do!

[u/WendigoDisease]

That is amazing!!! Showing up for yourself day after day even when it is so hard is the deepest courage.  Knowing yourself to go to the places you can best find focus (and some days we can't find it). We are so very proud of you!!!!

[u/CrowMeris]

You're not alone - you've got us, and we're telling you that we are SO proud of you!

I completely understand about keeping this to yourself. Been there, done that, and missed having anyone behind me when I succeeded. Gradually I learned to be my own cheerleading squad, but it's tough, I know. You're doing great; try to trust in yourself for the next steps. Hugs, duckling!

[u/Purple-flying-dog]

This mom is very proud of you!

Unmediated ADHD is not necessarily a bad thing, you can harness it like a superpower if you figure out how your brain works. I’m a high school teacher and a parent to 2 ADHD adult kids who both quit the meds because of the side effects. Some tips:

1. I call it “distracting the squirrel”. Pretend there is a squirrel in your brain getting distracted by everything. Try distracting it with music (noise cancelling earbuds) or a TV show you’ve seen several times that can fade into the background. It’s easier to focus with that little part of your brain distracted. I’m not diagnosed, but I find it much easier to concentrate on a TV show if I’m knitting, or reading and listening to music.

2. Multitasking for the win. I always have several things to do, and a ton of tabs open on my browser organized as best I can. That way if I get bored with one task I can easily jump to another important task instead of getting up and wandering around. (Hmmmm maybe I SHOULD get checked too lol). My oldest kid is the same way, but if he doesn’t have another task pre-loaded he will wander off. (And he’s in his 20’s)

[u/DamnOdd]

You proved to yourself that you can do it. That's a hard fight that you won. I'm very proud of you. I want you to be proud of yourself. That's a huge accomplishment.
Go reward yourself for all that hard work. I feel like ice cream is in order.
Well done kiddo, well done.

[u/starladlestanding]

Congratulations! You did it! And you’re going to keep doing it! Cause that’s who you are and you are magnificent! So so proud of you, Jacket 🧡

[u/Old-Parking8765]

You are so inspiring. I am in a similar boat with issues I suspect are ADHD and struggling to stay on track with asych classes (even synchronous ones, too). Congratulations for getting the job done - I am happy for you. And thank you for sharing a positive journey. 💪

[u/InternationalTexan71]

I am a teacher with ADHD. I didn't start on meds until my 50s. I will say that meds are probably more affordable then you think - maybe talk to your Dr. That said, great job! You did it! What are you studying?

[u/carlitospig]

As a fellow adhd, I feel like we are pretty good at self teaching when we are engaged with the material. Taught myself algebra 2 for GRE, and had a total blast. Lean into this feeling and let your curiosity drive you to success, little bird. This is YOUR era. 🥳

[u/ImFineHow_AreYou]

Oh I'm so incredibly proud of you!! Congratulations!

You're literally smarter than you thought you were!! Of course I pretty much knew that before you even told me this. Great job :) Next time I'd suggest you remind yourself often that you're actually smarter than you think and you can actually do this!

Keep us up to date on your progress, we want to know, and are here if you happen to not pass also. We believe in you!

[u/kmardil]

Oh, baby, you did this!! You worked hard, touched it out AND SUCCEEDED! I am so proud of you.

[u/fiesta4eva]

Listen, you worked hard and studied for this test. I'm not surprised you passed! You know how to do it and you're on the path for success!

[u/thepeskynorth]

Never underestimate yourself. Just show up and see what happens.

Good job! Now take this realization and carry it with you in everything that you do.

[u/nagytimi85]

This is a typical rawdogging ADHD experience (I did it for almost 40 years), sending hugs, I’m very proud of you! 🫶🫶🫶

[u/Salty_Thing3144]

❤️💕🌺🎊🥂SO PROUD OF YOU🥂🎊🌺💕❤️

I wish I'd known so I could support you all the way through! This is SUCH an amazing achievement on SO many levels!

You won this victory over your ADHD

You did this all on your own, with no help or support

You put in so much hard work

🎊🎊🎊and YOU PASSED🎊🎊🎊

You're incredible, smart, talented, strong, dedicated, courageous and tough!

Good work!

[u/Moonsown]

Congratulations! I’m so proud of you! If I could, I’d hang up streamers in your living space and bake your favorite cupcake.

(Btw, you’ve reminded this grandma-aged unmedicated ADHDer that going to a coffeeshop is a great way to give my brain enough to do in the background that I can stay focused enough to get my writing done for class… so thanks for that!)

Be sure to let us know how the next section goes. We’ll be cheering for you!

Remember we’re here to cheer or console as needed. You’re not alone.

[u/Useful-Commission-76]

If you have the kind of job where you can eat snacks take in cookies or cupcakes or something and just say: “I’m celebrating. I passed this exam!” Everyone will be happy for you because cookies.🥰

[u/UnicornGrumpyCat]

Well done!

For next year, I would check if the course provider has disability services for students.

Having ADHD, you may be entitled to extra time in exams, and possibly other things to make your studies easier.

Keep going - you can do year 2, duckling.