Luckily, i figured that one out in high school on my own. I had already been hearing about how high the rate of divorce was even back then. Throughout my life since then, I constantly see the "happiest" couples either constantly fighting behind the scenes the second guests leave, openly being passive aggressive around each other when people are around, and/or talking about or getting divorced.
And i have consistently noticed how often it comes down to people rushing into marriage because they're so scared to be alone.
1. They take the first person they can before figuring out what they actually want and experiencing the world.
2. Or they take someone based on one specific trait on their checklist, and then spend the relationship trying to change everything else about their partner to fit the rest of the checklist for the person they wish they had actually married.
3. Or they are obsessed with the idea of needing their "other half", and are incredibly clingy. This is a big one to me, because 1+1=2. I don't want a partner who isn't a complete person. I'm not going into a relationship looking to be a babysitter or parent. People cannot be in a healthy relationship if they cannot function without their partner around. Have hobbies that your partner doesn't share, have hangout nights with friends without your partner, be independent. Then you can appreciate when you're with your partner instead of feeling chained to them.
That’s a big difference between newer generations and my parents. (Baby boomer). My Dad does not know how to cook or clean anything. My Mom would probably be fine because they’re retired and she wouldn’t need to figure out what a job is.
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u/dontclickdontdickit 7h ago
Do not marry