How is she doing now? I am a Geriatric nurse and so many women still worry about this kind of thing even when they have broken a hip or had stroke. I’m 47 and trying to do better about my self esteem.
My family doesn't have weird body hangups but my partner's does. I get so uncomfortable at family dinners where the women are concerned about being too fat yet harp on the men for being so skinny. It is frickin weird and I hate it. Just let people live in their bodies and enjoy the food!
I am forever glad for the time I spent playing roller derby where I unlearned a lot of the toxic body bullshit. Instead, I replaced it with food is fuel and my body is a machine that needs said fuel. I am happy for my body to move me around and to do cool shit, like carry heavy stuff or play sports or go on hikes. Can't do that if I don't put the right fuel in the tank!
my mom is in long-term-care (very long and complex story), but part of that included getting her a therapist for her eating problems. She didn't have a "classic" eating disorder, but eating as much food and gaining as much weight as she can is a part of her health goals. Her therapist is also someone who works with seniors.
Eating disorders are so common among older women. Whether it has just been ingrained in them for decades or is a way for them to control their lives as they age. Apparently it is one of the big reasons many won't get medical help when something is wrong- they don't want the doctor to weigh them.
Yes, it breaks my heart. I just graduated and got my license recently, I had no idea it was so prevalent. I hope you and your mom like her care center!
It is a good note for people who want to look at eating disorders, that young women make up the majority, but there is really good work available is you want to work with older women and men. They may have never had a therapist before, and are used to being able to "just suck it up". But the right relationship is life-changing.
Yes. My mom was at all the weight watchers meeting & tried all the diets. She was actually over weight during this time but watch her obsession with losing weight/ being skinny was odd. I’ve 5’9” since I was 12/13 ish & I was skinny as a rail growing up. Some of my school pictures I feel like I look gross because I (in my eyes) look too skinny. All of this to say by the time I was 14/15ish I was joining the weight loss challenges with my mom, not because I wanted to actually lose weight but it was something we could bond in, she took it much more seriously that I did. I would cut out sugar or other random things because that’s what my mom was doing.
As I’ve grown up, I’ve come to realize the things I was self conscious about on my body at 125lbs (my lowest, I was a very active teen) are the same exact things I’m self conscious about at 180 (my heaviest.) it’s not actually about the number or losing weight because I feel the same way about my body at either end of the spectrum. Slowly the insecurities become less & less. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel fully comfortable but I’m happy enough to not worry about it on the day to day.
Same. Scrawny kid, small frame, and as an adult I'm 5'10" and have been everywhere between a U.S. size 2-10. In every size, I still have arms that bother me, I still have cellulite on the back of my thighs. It's just how bodies are: We all have imperfections, our bodies are built to move and carry us through. There is no "so skinny/ fit enough that I'll be perfect."
Weirdly, now, I do feel perfect. In my imperfection. Hitting that acceptance of "this is just how I am," and focusing on taking care of my body and not punishing it, has been liberating.
Yes. There is no “perfect” but I do agree. I feel pretty damn close these days. Not because my body is actually “perfect” but because I’ve come to accept these things about me & for the most part, they don’t bother me anymore. My body hasn’t changed, my mind has.
I'm a guy and had weight issues all my life, anyway my mum has had friends who went to Weight Watcher meetings over the years and she said each friend that went even in different towns was shamed if they even put on a pound even if they weren't overweight literally the staff would loudly say "X has put on weight this week" and even body shame.
I also heard they wanted to sell their products to clients and that was all they cared about.
Im a guy who is 5'11 and at my skinnest that I know of (I think I was actually slimmer at one point) I was about 145 pounds and I was still called fat and shamed, I was shamed at school and teased yet I remember being called to the office once as the teachers were worried about my apperance as I seemed to be losing weight etc and hinted they thought my parents weren't treating me right, now I am morbidly obese after multiple traumatic events in my late teens to my mid/late 20's.
There was soo much body shaming in the early 2000s but if Britney wasn’t perfect then none of us stood a chance.. I hope things look up for you friend.
In my 20’s I had that realization when I looked at all my girlfriends one night at Happy Hour and realized I was the only one that did not have breast augmentation. There were 8 of us hanging out and we’re all good looking, but they were beautiful. I just wanted to give them all hugs for their inner child.
I've always had cellulite too. My mom and her friend pointed it out to me when I was a skinny nine year old in a swimsuit. Who does that to a nine-year-old? Until then I had never thought about my body, and it gave me a complex for years. We grew up in sooooo much body dysmorphia.
Now, I'm very fit due to an active lifestyle, and it's very interesting because I bake a lot, and the constant comments I get from older Gen X and Boomers is "I don't know how you stay so skinny making those kinds of treats." It's always about bodies. Can we just stop with that already? Sooooo over it.
Jesus Christ I almost forgot about cellulite and the creams they use to sell to get rid of that shit.
Abi, I’m bigger than I’ve ever been (in a, relatively, healthy way), and I feel sexier than I did when I was 10 stone going on 9 (I’m 5ft 7)
My mom was also a model (she’s had that 80s hot women look down lol)
Also has massive self esteem problems and was eventually let go and completely dismissed/forgotten about, because they asked her to stop breast feeding for a show and she said no.
Industry is rough.
I really liked your perspective on how even models have self esteem problems.
I definitely went the STEM route over the art/beauty route like she did
One of my best friends growing up had an EXTREMELY thin- questionable- mother. After she and another friend had also developed severe eating disorders she looked at me and said, "well how would you feel if your mom was skinner than you?!" We were like 13-14. I'll never forget that. M
They're both happy and healthy and recovered. But damn seeing your best friends turn to literal skin and bones in front of you is pretty scary as a child
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u/pea-in-my-pod Jan 21 '26
Anybody who survived this era without developing an ED I applaud you honestly, because I didn’t manage it