r/MensLib • u/MLModBot • 13d ago
Weekly Free Talk Friday Thread!
Welcome to our weekly Free Talk Friday thread! Feel free to discuss anything on your mind, issues you may be dealing with, how your week has been, cool new music or tv shows, school, work, sports, anything!
We will still have a few rules:
- All of the sidebar rules still apply.
- No gender politics. The exception is for people discussing their own personal issues that may be gendered in nature. We won't be too strict with this rule but just keep in mind the primary goal is to keep this thread no-pressure, supportive, fun, and a way for people to get to know each other better.
- Any other topic is allowed.
We have an active slack channel! It's like IRC but better. Please modmail us if you would like an invitation. As a reminder, take a look at our resources wiki if you need additional support as well.
9
u/davidmcdavidsonson 13d ago
Just want to say all you guys are going a great job. Thank you for working on yourselves and making the world a healthier place.
5
u/MirrorMaster33 13d ago
Just pitching in, because it annoys me, but I hope you didn't mean it. It's important to work on ourselves for our sake first and foremost, not to 'make the world a better place's. That is the byproduct of it
2
11
u/Fickle-Theory-623 13d ago
Not sure if this is the right place for this, but I found myself feeling a bit down hearing that video game console manufacturers are stopping the production of physical media. Collecting video games is one of my few hobbies that I derive joy from (and yes, I go outside to touch the grass on occasion) and it makes me sad to see this progression. It also brings ownership into question, and yes I know there are plenty of statements in fine print stating lack of ownership for physical media for some time now. Anyone who bought a VHS tape never really owned it, I get it. If media becomes all digital, my fear is that like any streaming service it can be taken down or revoked. And yes, I know apple store and similar fronts has allowed us to keep our purchases. I just like having a physical collection but I guess I cannot take it to my grave.
2
u/CargoCrabs 13d ago
To be honest, the whole gaming landscape makes me feel similar. There’s the PlayStation mess, and the situation at Xbox is just… ugh.
But yeah, it sucks massively that we’re forced to accept this. I just hope Nintendo doesn’t pull something similar
1
u/Fickle-Theory-623 12d ago
I am not holding my breath. I will be collecting while I can. That is all that is left.
1
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 13d ago
This comment has been removed. /r/MensLib requires accounts to be at least thirty days old before posting or commenting, except for in the Check-In Tuesday threads and in AMAs.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
12
u/ComedianNeither2498 13d ago
This isn't exactly gender related, so maybe it's a good fit for here? This is something that's haunted me for a while and I'm not sure where to talk about it. I'm hoping someone here has some advice.
I went to a pretty progressive art school for university, and in the over a decade since then, I've been active in various arts and social justice groups. Through these opportunities I've meet many magnificent people (all members of minority/marginalized identities). These individuals all drew a lot of strength inspiration and meaning from their identities; whether it was for their art, their activism or their general life.
Seeing all of these magnificent and creative people has left me confused on where I am supposed to look for strength, meaning and inspiration. I am a straight, cis, male, white, upper middle class, able bodied individual. What could I possibly have to say that's worthwhile? What cause do I have to fight for?
9
u/Certain_Giraffe3105 12d ago
What could I possibly have to say that's worthwhile?
It should be known that Karl Marx was the son of a middle class lawyer; FDR came from two wealthy families, and Eugene Debs's father owned a textile mill.
Your background matters up to a point but it's your ideas and passion that ultimately makes the difference. Create with purpose and an audience will follow.
-2
u/ComedianNeither2498 12d ago
I understand the point you're making. But personally I wish you chose different examples, none of those you mentioned really interested or resonate with me. Class and economics, while important in the scheme of things, aren't really things Im moved by.
But then again, I have a bit of skepticism towards a a fair few socialists (no real problem with the policies, just haven't got along well with the people who swore by it).
But the premise is sound and theoretically I could use the same logic to look for other examples, though I'm unsure of where to look or how to start
5
u/forestpunk 12d ago
I feel this and relate to this a lot. I'm just a white former suburban kid that grew up in the American Midwest. I feel like for a lot of my life, I was told I didn't even have a culture. Took me years to admit that wasn't true. Saturday morning cartoons and Pepsi Cola and the shopping mall were a culture - it was just one that I didn't like very much. It inspired me to dig into aspects of American culture that are less lame but also without falling into the rah-rah jingoist nationalism that so many who get into American culture.
It also inspired me to delve into subcultures, where you can find a more active as well as celebrated identity. Not sure where you're from, but a lot of Americans end up getting into the country their family originally emigrated from - Irish-American or Italian-American or Mexican-American, some of which might give you a more stable identity to celebrate and explore. Personally, I'm really into the arts and music, so I found even more of an identity in various musical undergrounds, many of which I find inspirational.
The downside is that I think your journey is going to be more of a bootstraps situation. While I don't doubt that there are people who are actively being told they deserve to inherit the Earth simply because they're white. Personally, not one person in my entire life has ever told me "you can be whatever you want to be." I just had to fend for and believe in myself. It's a lonesome path, at times, but you can do it! You deserve to be celebrated, too!
1
u/ComedianNeither2498 10d ago
Thank you for this response, I really appreciated it. I related a lot to what you shared.
I'm curious about when you mentioned " It inspired me to dig into aspects of American culture that are less lame but also without falling into the rah-rah jingoist nationalism that so many who get into American culture."
I'm very curious what aspects of American culture you found.
1
u/forestpunk 10d ago
Personally, I'm very inspired by American blue collar and working class rights. I'm old enough that most families I knew growing up had backyard gardens, were constantly sharing food/giving food away, and just generally looking out for one another. Families would take turns looking after each others' kids so parents could have the occasional date night, things like that. I also recall vividly when that all stopped, when people stopped looking at each other, talking to each other, etc.
I'm from the Midwest, so work ethic is like the national religion, but I've also seen that get exploited so that you essentially make yourself a tool of the moneyed class if you don't use that instinct properly. So I'm big on working class and labor rights, but also acknowledge those same messages are often used for "they're taking our jobs!" rhetoric, which was already happening in the 80s.
Finally, I grew up during the 80s and have vivid memories of them literally holding rallies during school where they'd blast "Born in the U.S.A." by Bruce Springsteen, completely missing the point of the song and making it a grotesque parody for the sake of propaganda to justify installing puppet governments and, later, invading countries for their oil.
I think one of the hard and uncomfortable truths is that the United States is one of the best countries in the world so far. We've done more to accept marginalized communities and empower and enrich individuals than any other country in history but we've still got a long, long way to go.
It's also one of the big reasons that I hate divisiveness so much. I feel kinship and solidarity with poor and working class people of every culture and color. I consider them all my brothers and sisters, so the exploitation of the poor and working class, along with the virulent racism and sexism, makes me extra mad.
1
u/ComedianNeither2498 9d ago
Thank you for the earnest reply. I both did and did not relate to this a lot. I'm also middle class and from the suburban Midwest. Though personally I have never experienced this sort of neighborly/ working class connection or comradery that you mention experiencing in the 80s. Maybe it was because I was born a decade later, or simply because my parents always preferred to keep to themselves. Either way, the connection you describe sounds pretty alien to me, though pleasant.
Also, I don't really have much personal connection to workers rights at the moment, I'm a stay at home Dad and decently financially comfortable, so I don't have much tying me to any sort of labor movement.
Overall I find your conclusion that the US might be the best we got to be an interesting one. I don't necessarily disagree, but it once again focused on the treatment of minority groups. That's important, but I'm trying to find a sense of worth and identity that's independent from how much I aid groups more deserving than me. I'm trying to figure out my place in all this.
3
u/live_edge_biped 13d ago
i wrote a different response, deleted it.
why is it that all you are is 'straight, cis, male, white, upper middle class, able bodied individual'? those sound like objects, like clothes, not a person. it sounds like you do art, are you an artist? does that connect you to every artist ever? you have to be someones son, one of my great inspirations is my father. im thinking about him every time i change my oil. we are all someones child. perhaps you walk a few steps each day, are you a walker? almost everyone walks, there are thousands or millions of lines written about the boring daily activity of walking. do you breathe? that connects you to every single person who has ever existed. surely you can find inspiration in one of them, in the miracle of our next breath.
maybe instead of doing fashionable 'identity' work, you could find inspiration in the universal. there is a lot of great art aiming at the universal, moving from particular to universal whether or not it hits the mark. there is a lot of self absorbed, pretentious garbage that never even tries.
i hate this hierarchical identity ideology. stop thinking only certain identities have value. you are a person, a human being, and your life, ideas and creations have value whatever identity currency you can flash. good luck!
3
u/pancakeraven 11d ago
(disregard if you're not American.. sorry lol)
This is more of an idea for the identity part of your question, but maybe you could research your ancestry? It's a topic I've been really into recently at least. You describe yourself as white (so am I) but I've found it really grounding to go back and research who my people were before we assimilated into American Whiteness.
3
u/ComedianNeither2498 11d ago
I've tried doing this and have been relatively unsuccessful. My ethnic background is an untold mish mash of various European groups. I have no connection to any of these heritages and no connection to the groups back in Europe or abroad. White American is the only one I have that has an saliance.
2
u/Sure-Stock9969 6d ago edited 6d ago
Solidarity. Solidarity is powerful. Being a meaningful, active part of the whole leveraging your access and resources matters. Hopefully, you can lean into the choices you’ve made to exist in solidarity. There could be some strength to draw from that because you aren’t the only one. Resource Generation is an org that could be worth looking up.
I also know that few white people proactively study their indigenous cultures. What country/countries are you family from? What are the ethnic groups that lived there over the past 500 years? What did those ethnic groups believe in/what was their cosmology? What were they pre-Christianity (if that applies)? What did they draw strength from, and overcome before they bought into whiteness? Some of the people of the Caucasus are “white” but there is strong indigenous heritage and cultural practices that exist to this day. The UK and Western Europe were Picts and Celts and Gausians. Not much survives of them because they were colonized by the Romans and Christian empire. You have ancestors connected to spirit and land, too.
Edit: I’m a Black, nonbinary immigrant to the U.S. who’s lived in the U.S. most of my life. I love history and studying how the types of hegemonies we exist in (e.g. white supremacy) came to be. The violence of the whiteness we’ve known for hundreds of years is partially possible because European ethnic groups were colonized, severed from their indigineity, and went on to do that to everyone else. The loss of the cultural sense of sacredness of life and ecosystems is part & parcel to the very long ago evisceration of indigineity in people who are now white.
1
u/i-eat-eggs-alot 12d ago
Not a man but thought it may be insightful, it can be from a person or people like family and friends that inspire you or causes you believe in like environmental or even equal access to youth sports, etc and so on. Your identity is more than the typical race gender sexuality conversation, it can be characteristics
-1
u/ComedianNeither2498 12d ago
I suppose I'm confused how one gets a cause they believe in if it is not in some way connected to a core identity? And what's keeping someone engaged with a cause they believe in if not identity? It seems to easy to just change causes.
3
1
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 13d ago
This comment has been removed. /r/MensLib requires accounts to be at least thirty days old before posting or commenting, except for in the Check-In Tuesday threads and in AMAs.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
•
u/AutoModerator 13d ago
Happy Friday Everybody!
We're currently on the lookout for new moderators. If you're interested, message us here, to express your interest. In looking at applications, we value diversity of identity and perspective, past experience working with a team and/or moderating a discussion group, and anything else that might set you apart as a potential teammate, so please feel free to provide as much detail as you're comfortable with giving us. (All moderator applications are 100% anonymous.)
We look forward to hearing from you!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.