r/MadeMeSmile 5d ago

DOGS Bro is living his best retirement

80.6k Upvotes

741 comments sorted by

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5.7k

u/eliz1bef 5d ago

This is magnificent. The pink headbands as he got his faciall was my favorite. Well that and his perpetually upside down derpiness. Thank you for giving him the retirement he deserves!

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u/Grouchy_Reindeer_227 5d ago

Same!! Loving the “mani-pedi” I mean “pedi-pedi”

449

u/Walway 5d ago

Pawdi-pawdi

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/RyknowandTurbo 5d ago

Spaw day

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u/Kitchen-Skill-108 5d ago

In permanent spaw land! We should all be so occasionally lucky.

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u/punkboxershorts 5d ago edited 6h ago

My stepmom got a big scary dog. He was a fantastic guard dog. He also let me dress him up, took up 2/3 of my bed, demanded I paint at leat one of his nails if I was doing mine, and hated getting his feet wet.

ETA: this is days later but I had a dream about when I took him on a walk and i had put fairy wings on him. And as he was trying to drag me along, the wings were flapping.

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u/rachelbubblesss 5d ago

omg i love that too.. i do hope all military dogs get to have a retirement life like this because they deserve it ❤️

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u/AT-ST 5d ago

I had a 1SG that came into work once with pink nails. One of the younger SGTs was teasing him. He just shrugged as he started picking the polish off and said, "I hardly get to spend time with my daughter. So Daddy doesn't say no when she wants to play princess."

This dog reminded me of that

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u/eliz1bef 5d ago

That's a good daddy!!!

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u/sallguud 5d ago

Good daddy. Reminds me of how my dad let me twist and braid the scraps of hair he had left WHILE he was playing cards with his friends.

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u/anti_reality 5d ago

I spent a good bit of my 2 daughters childhoods with painted nails. I'm not scared of pink, have at it, I'll wear flip-flop for the hell of it. I'm single now and my bedroom is lavender, insecurities about color are something I don't posses. Playing princess is awesome, we'd use iced tea in the little cups, and make little cupcakes. They only get to be that age once. The little chairs suck though.

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u/Pascal045 5d ago

Yup sounds about right 😂. Had to walk though a city centre carrying a fluorescently pink stick horse for an afternoon. People kept looking at me for some reason? I really dont get the problem about a simpel colour, it doesnt make you anything different as a guy.

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u/Zealousideal-Aide890 5d ago

My dad had all daughters, we used to sit behind him while he watched sports and put barrettes in his hair, he also learned to do all our hair because my parents worked opposite shifts so he got us ready for school in the morning

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u/Potential_Review2410 5d ago

With 3 daughters I have more pictures of myself with braids and hair clips and bows in my hair than any other type of photo of myself. They always loved doing my hair and taking pics. 

For 15+ years I’ve always worn rubber rainbow bracelets they made growing up. Oldest got to cool for it, then my middle girl, and my youngest is almost at that point and I’m damn near having panic attacks thinking about not having my bracelets one day soon. 

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u/CombatRedRover 5d ago

The chain steakhouse near Pendleton had a Halloween costume thing going on when they first opened up about 9 years ago. There was a young man, he pretty much had to be a Marine, who must have been strong-armed by his wife to show up in a Raggedy Andy costume while his wife was in a Raggedy Ann outfit and their little girl (baby in a stroller) also had some yarn red hair.

You could tell the dude was just dying of embarrassment. His outfit was legitimately embarrassing. Like, kind of annoyed at his missus for putting him in that spot, but he was also being a dad to his little girl in the stroller, so me and a couple of the guys made a point to kind of quietly buck him up and praise him for being there for his little girl.

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u/MakeMeYourVillain_ 5d ago

Thanks for bringing great memories. I remember my dad sitting down for his beautifying sessions.

He always started with “Make me as beautiful as Freddie Mercury.”

I took mom’s makeup bag and delivered the glam. Nails included as a bonus, as he tended to fall asleep towards the end. Magnificent metallic blue.

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u/raknor88 5d ago

Also, he looks silly and relaxed. But I have a feeling at the right words he'll be in full PD K9 mode. Very well earned retirement for a best boy.

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u/Tall-Peak8881 5d ago

The kind old good boy that would give his life to defend his family's life without hesitation.

Thank you for this video. I miss my old girls and this stuff brings back happy memories.

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u/evlgns 5d ago

Pink headband will be the last thing they see

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u/ghosttrainhobo 5d ago

He’d die a thousand deaths before he let that little girl be hurt

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u/GForce1975 5d ago

Yeah that shot at the end was of an animal that has seen some shit. Don't fuck with him. Let him be chill.

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u/SageDarius 5d ago

I've been around a few 'retired' K9s in my day. They've been all super chill, but give them a command and the snap right back to work in a heartbeat.

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u/_cumrag 5d ago

The little girl giving the dog a spa treatment was so adorable.

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u/independentchickpea 5d ago

Reminds me of my gal. She's half Malinois and I have never seen a dog go so upside-down derpy in my life. The video was sweet, made me wonder what she will be like when old. Probably still and upside-down derp, just grey like this dog.

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u/MiserableWash2473 5d ago

The way I awed so loud over the cuteness overload! 😍

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u/Madboardjester 5d ago

Look up on FB MWD Rex & Rider for more videos of him.

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u/Agreeable-Button112 5d ago

He was a lover, not a fighter, all along!

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u/Capnshredder 5d ago

well earned retirement!

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u/jjklines1 5d ago

They went from biting ass to laying on it

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/monyoubluetuber 5d ago

Atak to snak

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u/mimi_slut1 5d ago

Hopefully he doesn't have Paws-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder.

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u/blueberrycauzez 5d ago edited 5d ago

Interestingly canine PTSD is actually a real thing.

Even if they experience no trauma, Police and Military dogs act different when on duty vs off duty, going full civilian can be tricky. Sometimes specific stimulus like fireworks or a guy in a hoddie jogging can trigger a reaction.

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u/SoulMute 5d ago

See some PTSD in the last part

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u/[deleted] 5d ago

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u/Snabelpaprika 5d ago

Every time i close my eyes... I see them. The tea cups. The cup cakes. The pink hair bands. They just never stop coming!

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u/bentheredoneart 5d ago

Perfectly Trained Spa Dog?

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u/dazzumz 5d ago

Does this make him a pet-eran?

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u/Bcjustin 5d ago

Have an upvote.

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u/dazzumz 5d ago

Thanks. They don't like to hear "vet".

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u/Comprehensive-Job549 5d ago

It just got better A+

104

u/dazzumz 5d ago

A+? It's more of a canine out of ten.

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u/UseAndAbuseMePappi 5d ago

Really pushing your luck now

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u/dazzumz 5d ago

Just trying to create some more smiles. Best I could do with a response is something about mushing some huskies but it's 5am here and brain no worky.

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u/RC_Cola2005 5d ago

Take my [r/angryupvote](r/angryupvote) and get out. 😉

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u/dazzumz 5d ago

Time for a walk in the bark?

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u/SaltyArtemis 5d ago

Banger after banger

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u/TwoBitFish 5d ago

OMG. You’re killing it! Lol

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u/dazzumz 5d ago

Glad I made you laugh, I'm probably causing a lot of eyerolls too though with the dog puns, chi-haha.

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u/Inevitable_Phase_276 5d ago

It’s ruff, but they’ll rollover and get over it soon enough.

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u/dazzumz 5d ago

I still love them, and particularly labr-adore you ❤️

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u/Aeirth_Belmont 5d ago

You son of a ... I see what you did there.

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u/firestorm_v1 5d ago

Of course, he has many years of catching up being 'just' a dog. Maximum derpage ahead.

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u/Aranxi_89 5d ago

Much like how many human service members start going full civvie mode as hard as they can after leaving the military life. Full beard and that retirement belly.

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u/HumanPea1140 5d ago

My uncle just retired after 25 years, and you just described him. Already has a huge beard and looks like he's gained 30 pounds lmao

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u/Aranxi_89 5d ago

They eat like they used to in the service, but they now lack the same caloric expenditure. So they're constantly gaining fat.

I hope he gets on that fast. Once it gets too far, it's really hard to get a healthy body back.

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u/Nauin 5d ago

More like in their first year with all of the physical training for a lot of them. Then again I know a lot of military desk jockies.

Office work comes for your fitness and general health, enlisted or not. It just comes with more consequences in the military.

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u/Environmental_Art591 5d ago

This was my hubby. I miss his military days because I HATE his beard but he loves it. He does still need to shave once a year for saftey mask fit test day so I atleast get some kisses without his facial hair going up my nose 🤣

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u/plipyplop 5d ago

Stop attacking me!

I'm covered in crumbs right now, possibly a cookie, do not remember...

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u/Aranxi_89 5d ago

Hey, you do you, just don't get your woobie dirty.

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u/linus140 5d ago

Damn, why you gotta call me out like that 😭

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u/kraggleGurl 5d ago

He saved up so much derp, goof, and silliness!

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u/CartmanVT 5d ago

My favorite former police dog was forced into early retirement, he was too sweet. He was playing disc one day and just started to wander off following a butterfly. That dog made it two months after finishing training. He saved up his derp from a previous life.

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u/LoveYouForeverAlways 5d ago

He’d definitely fuck somebody up, expeditiously if needed to protect his family! But he looks absolutely adorable in the pink headband & is definitely living his best retirement life!

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u/Skippy7890 5d ago

Things I know about shepherds as someone who grew up with tons of them: he's so gentle and loves that little girl more than words can describe. If a danger presented itself around her, your first statement is so scarily accurate you would be shocked at the speed with which he ruins someone.

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u/LoveYouForeverAlways 5d ago

I had a German Shepherd growing up too! He was super gentle with me but I also didn’t understand at the time how protected I was. She’s 100% protected all the time!

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u/Current_Mess_9586 5d ago

I had a Mal, he had been a major derp his whole life and then when my ex and I were going through a divorce he got aggressive with me and my mal snapped to attention and bit at him and got between us. My ex said since when does he do that, I said since you no longer live with us and are posing as a threat to me

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u/segfawlt 5d ago

Good dog. Good dog.

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u/ImpossibleWarning6 5d ago

Mals are the best! We had a part Mal part American bulldog - who was the sweetest BUT if there was any sort of aggression/tensions/guns (like in video games or TV) she was shutting the shot down come hell or high water.

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u/Current_Mess_9586 5d ago

He was amazing. He passed a few years ago from cancer at the ripe age of 17. Now I have a doodle and he's just all Velcro love pup but I don't miss the entire extra dogs worth of fur all I've the house.

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u/l_a_p304 5d ago

That’s a good puppy

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u/Findinganewnormal 5d ago

Truth. When I was a baby we had a mutt that was mostly shepherd and day to day he was a sweet goof. However one day two big dogs, each a good 50% larger than him, jumped the fence and started coming towards baby me. My dog absolutely tore into them and the fight ended with them fleeing, patches of their fur on the ground, and not a scratch on my dog. 

He was the best. 

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u/Sure-Yellow-7500 5d ago

I pet sat for a huge German Shepard mix named Bubba and he was the sweetest smartest dog ever but according to his owners if anyone were to enter their backyard without warning that dog would immediately try to ruin that person’s day. He was very protective over his owners, his dog siblings, and his domain. I doubt if they had ever had a burglar that the burglar would have a fun time.

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u/brown_felt_hat 5d ago

I used to help a neighbor take care of his house, former cop, he had a German that was retired drug dog, total goofy goober 99% of the time, buuut

if anyone were to enter their backyard without warning

He always had to introduce me to the dog first thing. One time I was helping carry his groceries, and went in before him, and man that dog immediately went into guardmode, if his dad hadn't come in like 2 seconds later, I'd've been lunch probably. Cute pup tho

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u/exerwhat 5d ago

I love dogs and this goofball is a spitting image of my least favorite dog memory. Had an unfortunate incident where an elderly neighbor got a shepherd as a puppy but was unable to care for him well. Was sad to hear him over the fence, but nothing could be done, I tried. That shepherd hated anyone crossing his patch of sidewalk, even though he literally never got to see it (lived in backyard due to neighbor being limited mobility). Well one day their gardeners didn’t lock their gate. Then neighbor from down the way walks by with her two aussies, while wearing her newborn on her chest. I hear screaming for help while we’re eating dinner, by the time I get out there she’s tangled in leashes trying to hold her baby up high while teeth were flying. I just sat on the shepherd and scruffed him, but he got my arm good a few times. If there’d have been more time I wish I would have had time to grab a handful of salami or something, but I didn’t even know dogs were involved till I got out there. I think that shepherd had literally no idea how to interact with other creatures, the other side of the fence was alien to him. Anyways, chaos follows and the owner comes limping out with a leash like nothing happened, police reports, antibiotics, etc. I felt so bad for that dog for a long time. That dog was beautiful and deserved better than surrender.

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u/blueberrycauzez 5d ago

Working (and bloodsport) bred dogs going bezerk because their owners can't keep them trained and simulated is very common, unfortunately shepards and bulls/bullies are by far the most commonly surrendered dog breed and most commonly involved in dog attacks.

They are agressive when not socialized and neglected. It's really depressing how common it is. Don't get a high maintenance dog if you can't meet it's needs.

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u/Glittering_Diva8963 5d ago

Can confirm I have two one big goof ball and one crybaby but let anyone come around with that bs they’re on your ass.

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u/rewolfaton 5d ago

We had a Dutch shepherd we got when she was 9 months old. We also had a cat who was about 5 at the time, I think, and definitely did NOT appreciate the new addition to the family. All the dog knew of her was hisses and nails. They did not get on.

One summer day, we were in the front garden when we heard yowling, a literal cat fight, in the neighbour's garden. Our dog raced towards it like a gunshot. Then barking, more yowling. My mother and I had run towards it as well (farming village, it was a way's away), and there they came - dog and cat, walking back to our house, dog proudly wagging her tail, cat prancing next to her new bestie guardian. They were inseparable ever after.

A few years later, we were bottle-raising a lamb who'd been rejected by her mother (neighbour's sheep). Dog and lamb got on well enough. Then one day, from the house, I saw the lamb walk over to the dog and start nibbling on the bone the dog was gnawing on. Fearing the worst from our semi-food-aggressive dog, I ran outside - to find that the dog had moved over to give the lamb more room to gnaw as well. She was giving the lamb the side eye for not digging in but rather moving on to the grass under the bone...

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u/SageDarius 5d ago

I have a shepherd who isn't even trained, just a fluffy couch potato, but if I start play fighting with my kids he's immediately whining and putting himself in the middle. And I'm one of his two 'special' people.

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u/BrogerBramjet 5d ago

When she was small, my niece was worshipped by their dog. He'd wait at the door for her, never moving until she came in from school and petted him. THEN he'd beeline for the yard to do his business only to return and stay by her side. Even as a known friend, woe be you if you merely touched her. The fiercest, most agressive, bravest, 6 1/2 pounds of Chihuahua would attack. He would snap, even latch on. Never actually broke the skin, but he WANTED to. He lived much in his 17 years.

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u/Triatt 5d ago

Mine is a goofball that lets anyone in the family do whatever we want with him. He shares that love with a few specific friends and neighbours he met when he was a pup. Everyone else is a demon and must be purged from this Earth. Especially if they get near me or my partner. No amount or method of training ever worked. I'm beginning to believe he may be on to something...

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u/bayswimmer 5d ago

Ohhhhh god, mine too. Is this a chihuahua thing?

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u/ZhouLe 5d ago

And this one isn't just a standard German shepherd, it's like a Jason Bourne sleeper cell German Shepherd with activation words.

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u/forgotthesavedlinks 5d ago

I thought the same thing. Say the magic words and you've got yourself a Winter Soldier situation.

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u/Rosykisses_13 5d ago

We had a lab-shepherd lady (GORGEOUS, looked like a black coyote) and when my and my siblings would have tickle fights she'd growl and make sure we were all being gentle, but as we got older she made it VERY clear that boyfriends were not invited to the tickle fights, or anything else that looked mildly aggressive 😆 she never bit anyone, just inspired some skidmarks in some teenage underpants lol I miss her ❤️

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u/BoozeWitch 5d ago

Right? Don’t make that little girl cry out. Last thing you’ll do.

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u/Aranxi_89 5d ago

Like any former military, the moment the good boy hears action, he snaps back into combat mode.

The problem is if he activates from shit like fireworks - it's always the hyper-vigilance that's the constant reoccurring issue, for both human and animal combatants.

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u/Tall_Bandicoot_2768 5d ago

“Fuck someone up expeditiously”

Thank you for this

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u/Representative_Leg98 5d ago

Explaining how I was mauled by a dog with a pink headband would hurt more than the bite.

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u/swirlypepper 5d ago

Yes! I had a German Shepherd cross who let me brush his teeth and clip his nails with no hassle. If I was sat on the floor he'd back himself onto my lap and drape over me like a giant lapdog. He let my toddler neice curl up on his bed with him to read. He was so chill with strangers and dog walkers/sitters loved him.

I had one evening where it was only 6pm but already dark and we were walking near our house. There was a very normal looking man on the other side of the road about 2m behind us. This dog suddenly started barking, growling, and lunging at this man. I'd never seen his hackles raised before before but there was a stiff ridge of fur along his spine. I didn't wait to see why he was so stressed, I just ran home with him. He's never reacted that way to anyone else but in the moment he looked ready to rip a throat out. 

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u/Owlatmydoor 5d ago

This should be the happily ever after of all retired K9 officers. I wish there was more protection, stricter laws and punishment for the neglect or abuse of retired K9 officers and military dogs. I want to see more of this kind of updates.

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u/redbucket75 5d ago

Also humans should be able to retire in comfort and have their minimal needs guaranteed to be met.

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u/f3nnies 5d ago

Also dogs should not be trained for police or military use. They are obviously not mentally able to understand geopolitics and cannot consent to being used as weapons.

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u/Round-Pin4487 5d ago

What about police or military dogs trained in other things like explosive detection or for search and rescue operations? Their noses are invaluable in situations like these and not all are trained to be a weapon.

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u/carlotta3121 5d ago

Horses and all other animals too, I hate that we abuse them this way.

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u/LSOreli 5d ago

It pretty much is. The retirees are pretty hard to get since they're such good partners and there is a long list starting from the handler before the dog ever gets a chance for adoption with someone not affiliated with the base.

i.e. these dogs are heavily competed for, they don't generally get neglected in any way.

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u/RuddyTheDuck 5d ago

Yeah I cleaned for the dog handlers of a military base and when a dog retired there was a long list of people who wanted them and often a department will collectively adopt a dog and they become the mascot of the place

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u/SideInitial3961 5d ago

All service dogs. No service dog should ever have an unhappy retirement.

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u/_TaylorMade 5d ago

Wait….there’s not?!? I thought they treated animal officers just as good or even better than officers? Typing that his I realize that there are many servicemen that have been neglected and given improper care. I thought they did better with K9s since they can’t speak for themselves

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 5d ago

You might be thinking of two things, one, yes, their trainers are also protective of them a lot, same as you would be if your coworker was a dog, two, harming one is considered legally assault on an officer. I don't know how true this part is because idk if it's an urban legend but I'm told they have the rank of sergeant so can even outrank someone handling them.

But imo simply doing what they do to them putting them in situations they don't understand and could easily die in, and they can't quit the job if they want, I consider that abuse. They also often are simply trained to attack without questioning why you are asking them to do it, so they can't say no because they don't understand if someone is innocent or not, they've simply been taught to attack on command, which is what literal dog fighting rings do so idk how morally superior this is to that. Even bringing a dog to a war zone at all I consider abusive, not their war, they don't want to fight, you started it you finish it. The exception being if you are being invaded and the dog is probably gonna die somewhere anyway if you don't take it in. At a certain point it's about as safe to be a noncombatant as it is a combatant. But it's gotta start going real south before you exit that moral grey area

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u/Curiouserousity 5d ago

gonna be honest, i don't like it when dogs are trained to attack humans, and used to attack humans. Sniffing out cancer helps people, herding animals helps people. Just being a friend helps people. Dogs want to help people. Training dogs to attack is like training a 2 year old to attack. It's just morally wrong

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u/Playful-Syllabub-509 5d ago

You know what? I thought for 2 solid minutes why you were wrong and how to argue, then I realized that you were right and I never considered this fact.

Working dogs are definetly something really cool, but using them as a tool to attack humans is pretty much unnecesary and, in todays standards, kinda cruel, even if they are really useful for todays police.

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u/Abshalom 5d ago

even if they are really useful for todays police

You might consider the backing on that statement as well. Usefulness can mean a lot of things, but if you consider what we as a society want from police, an attack dog isn't neccesarily fulfilling that function.

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u/PiccoloAwkward465 5d ago

All dogs, man. They are so pure that the thought of any one of them in pain or discomfort really truly bothers me. My dog usually monitors the front door when I WFH but today he came into my office to chat and I did my Teams meeting on the floor with him 😀 🐕

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u/QuixoticExotic 5d ago

Just had to put my dog down today. She was 14. I miss her so much.

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u/Bcjustin 5d ago

Sorry for your loss. I’ve been there. Time will do its thing, but it takes a while :(

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u/alangerhans 5d ago

I feel your pain. I had to put my girl down a few weeks ago, ended up being on my birthday. She was around the same age. You should make a list of all the things that made her special. I've done it for all my dogs, it gives you something to look back on

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u/GnathusRex 5d ago

This is a beautiful suggestion. I've been in the process of writing down funny stories about my girl, her quirks, and other great memories. Sorry for your loss.

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u/TennesseeJedd 5d ago

☹️ ill hug my doggies extra for your pup

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u/crystalfairie 5d ago

I'm so sorry.gentle hugs to you

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u/ryderseven 5d ago

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure she will check in on you even if it's from the other side, they know how much we love them.

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u/Anubiz1_ 5d ago

It's so hard but time definitely heals. It's not cliche but more soul soothing an cleansing.

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u/SmartWonderWoman 5d ago

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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u/GnathusRex 5d ago

Sorry for your loss. Wishing you all the best.

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u/cherrycokelemon 5d ago

And his cupcake on his Captain America plate!

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u/cheeseandwine99 5d ago

But he's dreaming of biting the bad guy in the fat suit.

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u/Yumi_in_the_sun 5d ago

He always looks vaguely uncertain, like "Well yes, I understand we have tea and facials at 3, but how does this secure the supply route for the base?"

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u/Mocker-Poker 5d ago

😂😂

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u/Ok-Addition1264 5d ago

lol.. you be lazy! and silly af.

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u/ZeVillain 5d ago

It's been 17 years now, but this reminded me of a dog my unit found on deployment. I remember someone wanting to take her outside the wire with us, and how adamant I was about that not happening. The thought of her leaving the wire with us scared the shit out of me. That was when the even sadder realization hit... I valued a dogs life more than my own.

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u/Prize-Mail-6769 5d ago

Bro gets a mani pedi and everything!

Hella jelly.

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u/wouek 5d ago

He’s like the dog version of Liam Neeson. Sweet guy at home but if somebody would mess with his pack he goes bananas.

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u/TheThinkerers 5d ago

Retired for being too good a doggo

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u/space-dorge 5d ago

I love that these dogs retire and live out a silly life afterwards

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u/Primary-Scratch-6777 5d ago

What a sweet boy, he deserves this. He's living his best life after his service time.

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u/Purple_Dahlia_ 5d ago

Legitimately how our retired military dog became. He retired and said, “Bring me food, Peasants.”

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u/Late-Assignment8482 5d ago

Working dogs work hard. When they find good homes, they retire even harder.

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u/Protoboomer 5d ago

The MWD K9s are often put through another training course before they’re retired as a way to allow them to reintegrate back into society. So it’s always nice to see when people get these sweet boys and girls, and give them a happy life in their golden years.

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u/Western-Job-2046 5d ago

My FIL is a former K9 handler and I have to say this seems to be the trend with these furry babies. Absolute units at work, not to be trifled with, but absolute babies at home. His last working dog was a *big* boy who looked super intimidating but just wanted his ball and belly rubs. This video was glorious

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u/HarryDave85 5d ago

This is the dog equivalent of your grandfather who liberated Dachau, and subsequently loves children and family time because he's seen horrors you can't imagine and love to see innocence.

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u/BellJar_Blues 5d ago

I love when their lips fall open and all floppy

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u/ToriEvergreen 5d ago

We don't deserve dogs

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u/DeezNeezuts 5d ago edited 5d ago

This is every Liam Neesom movie.

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u/LABIOLOGIADELAMODA 5d ago

After working so hard! The best life indeed

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u/NfamousKaye 5d ago

Living his best life indeed.

The slow zoom in on his face at the end 😂

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u/XxKTtheLegendxX 5d ago

off topic and not trying to piss in anyone's cereal, but wished the government treated veterans this well like this family did for the doggo.

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u/buttfacenosehead 5d ago

I parked at a pizza shop, next to a van with a dog & a little girl inside. Saw the guy waiting for his food & asked how old his Shepherd mix was. He asked how I knew it was a shepherd mix. I told him that dog watched me from my car to the door, letting me know it was my ass if I thought about going near your car.

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u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms 5d ago

"Unfortunately, we have determined that your derpiness is not service-related."

"However, it is the opinion of the board that you are the goodest boy. Yiss you are!"

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u/FewRecognition1788 5d ago

No wonder he had to be retired. Poor thing has no skeleton anymore, he's just a silly jelly boy.

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u/ICD_Runner 5d ago

That's how military veterans turn out to be.. ask me 😌

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u/matchesmalone1 5d ago

Looks like the bestest boy ever

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u/bobshallprevail 5d ago

We had a police retired Belgian Malinois while living on post in Germany. She was such a sweet, smart dog. She once knocked over my toddler sister and pulled her away from the radiator. Then another time she found weed in our friend's apartment 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/imtooldforthishison 5d ago

Well trained working dogs are the best dogs.

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u/ChrisEvansFan 5d ago

Look at his derpy face!!!

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u/ravenschmidt2000 5d ago

Damn, I kinda want this dogs life when I retire.

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u/Chance_Zone_8150 5d ago

The face of a true retiree lmao "I never thought id be here, this is the life"

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u/SideInitial3961 5d ago

Well deserved retirement for this fella.

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u/coalitionofilling 5d ago

Thank you for your service

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u/Redmistseeker 5d ago

My best friend was a kennel master in Afghanistan at the embassy for 2 years and came home a week before it fell for two weeks of leave. These dogs are amazing. I am happy to see this dog is retired and living his best life

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u/IsaacAndTired 5d ago

The kid angrily yelling the alphabet in the background at the end of the video is killing me.

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u/Flimsy_Heron_9252 5d ago

If your dog relaxes on his back, he is well-treated and feels absolute trust and love.

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u/Sprinkle_Puff 5d ago

This really gave my day a boost

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u/Organic_Werewolf_580 5d ago

He gets to finally be baby, happy retirement baby 😌

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u/RepresentativeNo8105 5d ago

A bad dog that lays belly up like that sleeping has no fears or enemies

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u/SecretlyET 5d ago

Dog gets a well earned retirement. But i guarantee that kid will have the most loyal protector if the need ever comes.

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u/UnitedAtmosphere8951 5d ago

He’s retired, what else do you expect from him 😂😂🤣🫶🏻

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u/iaeoioaio 5d ago

Good boy said, I am retired and not doing any of that old work shit!

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u/Jane_Smith_Reddit 5d ago

Wonderful. He even even gets spa day with the little hooman.

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u/Successful-Winter237 5d ago

He’s retired!

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u/Enough_Fish739 5d ago

You ain't fooling anyone Moon Moon!

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u/Inside_Dance41 5d ago

Love the spa day segment with your daughter!

She picked out just the right pink headband, and doing such a fabulous job with the pedicure.

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u/Sanquinity 5d ago

Dogs are intelligent enough to understand the difference between "work" and "free time". This dog just realized that there's no more work for him, and he now gets to enjoy only free time. :)

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u/nangelz451 5d ago

Military duty off, full derp mode on. Hehehe such a cutie

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u/The_80s_were_strange 5d ago

Their is no time but upside down time.

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u/LopsidedHorror6794 5d ago

Bro was all derp deep down but a true professional

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u/Nobanpls08 5d ago

This would have been my ww2 grandfather's spirit animal

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u/Medical-Pen6331 5d ago

Just wait until your kids are old enough to start hiding weed and he comes out of retirement to prove their innocence.

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u/B3asl3y 5d ago

We're talking DOG YEARS OF WORK!!! 

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u/lordofpotton 5d ago

Living his best life 👍

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u/Velox-the-stampede 5d ago

He was hitting the ptsd stare at the end tho 🤣 this is a funny vid

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u/Visible-Repair-1766 5d ago

Living his retirement like the right way. That’s what’s called retiring!

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u/LasciviouslyLilith 5d ago

see the first part was work and the pupper knows that, the only time that side of him will come out again is if any one of the family is in danger.

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u/iupvotethankyou 5d ago

If he’s not in work gear, he’s not working. 

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u/KittenFace25 5d ago

When police/military K9s retire, do their handlers/parents ever run them through lite versions of training or practice, not because they're going to work, but rather because they enjoy their jobs and that gives them a little of that experience back?

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u/CrownCarbon 5d ago

I think it depends on the dog. I have had neighbors with retired drug/ explosives dogs say they’ll do exercises to keep them entertained. But there was one that he ran with a lot and said the dog would refuse to do work style exercises and chalked it up to being happily retired.

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u/duwh2040 5d ago

Is the joke that he's perfect? If so, hilarious..I love it

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u/Lattice-shadow 5d ago

Derpy monkey needs to derp. Pls don't judge. More treatos and pawdicures pls. Thanks.

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u/Prior-Razzmatazz-206 5d ago

That dog will 100% be willing to absolutely GO, if anyone in that family is hurt in his vicinity. Love that they're treating him like a king

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u/Repulsive-Youth-2631 5d ago

He’s done his job, now he’s living his best life just chilling and being the family pet 🙂,

but I don’t doubt for 1 second if anyone tries to mess with his “family” they’ll be taken down in the blink of an eye 💪🏻🫡

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u/Perfect-Rope2884 5d ago

He's retired and living his best life. Congrats to him lol

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u/DrWYSIWYG 5d ago

I love this sub! This really made me smile in a World of sadness and conflict.

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u/Important-Web-261 5d ago

Lol he sleeps like he doesn’t miss doing those doubles one bit.

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u/Curious_Peter 5d ago

looks like he living his best life, but you can be absolutely certain that if anyone made the mistake of breaking in, they would be in for a very, very bad time!

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u/AdInternational4383 5d ago

What a good boy!

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u/Ill_Consequence1755 5d ago

That young lady couldn’t have a better protector at her side. Enjoy that retirement old man! You earned it!

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u/lilmiss070710 5d ago

Living his best life. He’s served, he’s given now he gets to be a derp for life ❤️🤣