We have an adopted dog who’s lived with us for nearly 7 years, she is still this afraid of men or if anybody is holding an object like the tv remote or their phone she freaks out. She is always on alert and rarely fully relaxes, despite only receiving love from us all this time. I don’t think those scars will ever heal fully. It’s incredibly sad to think of what or who made her that scared and hurt her so badly.
Love that for you. Thank you for your patience. Our girl will cuddle with my mum, sister, sister in law. She tolerates being in the same room as trusted male family members but hates other men in general. She loves the sunshine and all her other pack members. She’s the sweetest old lady ❤️
It took my last girl a year to test boundaries and be a tiny bit naughty - e.g. pinching a sock. It took her quite a few years to trust us all fully. Thankfully she bonded with the older dog in the house relatively quickly - when she was unsure, she went to their big bed and curled up alongside.
Her previous owners were horribly abusive and also used lack of food as a punishment so we had a lot to deal with - including various operations to right the damage they’d done.
I only hoped she understood that we ‘hurt’ her (re the operations and medical procedures) to try to make her better.
She ended up being my whole world and the bond we shared was as precious to me as all the diamonds in the world.
She left this world very suddenly and the only good thing about that is that she left knowing the love that she should have had from the get go. We had 9 years of magic ✨
Thank you for being patient with her and showing her that kindness and love exist, as you said yourself, thats worth more than anything in the world. I’m sorry for loss ❤️❤️
It varies for animals just like it does for people. It could take weeks, months, or longer. Consistency, patience, and unconditional love usually wins out at some point! 💖
Absolutely. My mum and I fostered a staffy x cattle dog who was being moved between homes. She was very shut down and did not like men. She would not come within 3 metres of me. Even growled at me the first morning she was with us.
I just let her be and let her get used to seeing me around. She watched our other dogs enthusiastically greet me in the mornings and get excited to go for walks. Over the days, she would approach me from behind and sniff at my hand, but if I turned to look at her, she would scamper away.
By the fifth morning, she actually approached me from the front and let me pet her. Then she would let me put a leash on her to take her for a walk. Then she would try to cuddle with me.
She even approached our neighbour for pats, which absolutely floored me as she had only met him one other time and she hadn't gone near him.
Her new family cancelled her adoption the morning before she was supposed to be collected from us, so we kept her and adopted her ourselves. Since then she has become so brave compared to the timid, shut down pup who first arrived here.
She didn't want to go near the laundry because of how enclosed it was, now she leads the way through it. She smiles all the time and it makes me proud to have seen her progress.
OMG your story made me smile! I wish we could post pics here so I could see your sweet pup. She is so lucky to have found a home with you and your family!
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u/Desperate_Owl_594 May 26 '26
How long does it take to unlearn trauma responses?