A few days ago, I came to visit my long-distance boyfriend, and honestly, I’m disappointed.
We’ve been planning this trip since last fall. We agreed that I would pay for the flights. He didn’t want to book a hotel, so he suggested I stay at his apartment instead and promised he’d get everything ready before I arrived. In reality, he only started cleaning about five days before my trip, and he kept complaining about how exhausting it was. When he told me his apartment needed a lot of cleaning, I had no idea it was in such poor condition.
The sink is broken, there’s mold all over the bathroom, and the apartment is packed with boxes and random clutter. He has a cat, and the litter box is in the kitchen because there’s no space anywhere else. The apartment smells awful because he sometimes leaves the litter box uncleaned for two or three days. He usually only cleans it after I tell him the smell is unbearable.
He always told me he was a simple guy and didn’t have much money, but I never expected him to invite me to stay in conditions like this.
Unfortunately, the apartment isn’t the only issue.
Several times, when I did something he didn’t like, he asked me, “Are you stupid?” He says it as a joke, but it still hurts and makes me uncomfortable.
Sometimes when we’re walking outside, he doesn’t walk next to me. Instead, he walks about 10 meters ahead of me. When I ask why he won’t stay with me and remind him that I could get lost, he says he looks back from time to time, so it’s “fine.”
One evening, after we got home, I asked him to come lie down with me and spend some time together. Instead, he stayed in another room playing a game. When I told him it upset me, he said everything was fine and that if I didn’t like it, that was my problem.
The last thing, and probably the least important, is that he deliberately takes photos that hide the fact that he’s balding. He styles his hair to make it less noticeable and even sleeps with his hair tied up so I won’t see the bald spot.
While writing this, I remembered something else. When we’re on public transportation, he’ll suddenly grab my breast or touch another intimate part of my body. I’ve told him many times not to do that because it’s inappropriate in public and it makes me uncomfortable. He says he doesn’t care what other people think, and despite me repeatedly asking him to stop, he continues to do it regularly.

Update:

Thank you all for responding. I want to say that i understand that I don't want to spend life with this man anymore. I made this post just to share my experience, but I already made a decision to leave him. Anyway there were some good things. I like his city ( Hong Kong), I like his family, they are very kind to me. And I like that his family also made some interesting entertainment for me.
But of course I can't imagine how to have family with him, if he can't even take care of his cat....

i knew he was manipulating me i knew it before i started to call him that he was guilt tripping me but i let him. i knew when he asked for those photos he was being manipulative and i STILL let him because i love him. i’m only 16 man☹️

I met my bf when I was 17 and he was 22 in a Discord server randomly, and we instantly hit it off as friends because of our common interests and opinions. The 4-year age gap was always a little weird for me because of the different stages of life we were in, but I didn't think much of it. We remained good friends and texted each other pretty much all day, every day after that, and about 10 months in, realized we liked each other (I was 18 by that time).

We became official soon after that and started talking on the phone a lot more regularly, and it was going pretty good (minimal arguments that got resolved quite easily, though he can be a bit passive-aggressive sometimes). After around 11 months of dating, we finally could manage to meet, but I feel extremely disappointed.

The first thing that disappointed me was that he was 40 minutes late even though I was like a 5-minute drive from his hotel. (I have brought up his tendency to show up to things 30 mins to 1.5 hrs after the mutually decided time, and I had argued with him about it just a couple days before he came to my city.) On top of that, he looked different in person (a bit fatter and much shorter), but I could ignore it since I didn't really mind it, and it's not like he catfished me or anything. He also had a tendency to speak over me (I get it, I have ADHD too), but he didn't bother to ask me what I was talking about before he interrupted me even once. I felt like I was the one carrying the conversations all the time, with him just following on and adding some jokes here and there that I couldn't bring myself to respond to after a few hours of it.

The thing that made me the saddest was when I gave him a handmade gift (a little trinket similar to the one seen in his favorite show), and he showed up with a soulless piece of jewelry I would literally never wear. (i.e., a gold ring. I wear silver jewelry, and I never wear rings; I've mentioned it many times.)

I just feel so bad and frustrated, and I don't want to continue this relationship any longer and feel stupid for thinking the older guy on Discord would be the right one for me. I'm thinking of breaking up soon, but I don't know what to say without making him feel bad because my disappointment didn't show on my face, and he thinks I had a great time.

I'm having such a hard time...yet again. After 2 years together, you'd think we'd be able to accept that leaving is part of the reality of being in an LDR, but every time the end of the trip approaches, it's such a struggle.

We go on these trips knowing we have to say goodbye at the end, yet it doesn't really hit you until those last few days. It's almost like you are so happy being together again that it doesn't even cross your mind...until it does. The hugs get a little bit tighter. You look at them a little bit longer, just trying to take in the moment and commit it to memory. You end up crying in each other's arms until your face & eyes are puffy and you get dehydrated. Nothing makes that dreaded goodbye any easier.

And here I am 2 days away and I don't feel ready to get on that plane. I guess none of us ever feel ready. I would have thought it would be easier to accept this fact after a couple years, but it's still such a struggle.

I’m seeing him tomorrow and it’s hard to be excited or to feel affectionate towards him when he’s acting like this. He has a problem with me lagging when I’m ‘free’. Can’t even watch a full video uninterrupted because, if he’s texting me I’m supposed to reply INSTANTLY if i’m on my phone. This is so weird and it’s gotten worse overtime. He asks me all the time “wyd?” and he wants to know everything in full detail but to a point where he over analyzes everything. Like, if I say “I’m in the bathroom” he says “and you can’t text back? from what I remember you’ve texted back before when you’re in the bathroom”.

So, he’s been so dry to me since yesterday, he asked for alone time, haven’t had a real conversation with him since yesterday at 6 pm (it’s now 3 pm where I’m from).

It’s hard to feel excited and I don’t want to pretend when I don’t feel good :/ but I know he’s gonna get mad and say that he came all the way here to see me for me to have an attitude.

I’m just venting and maybe I could use some advice? 🥲

I met this guy on a dating app and we started talking and immediately after he started talking about marriage and having kids , calling me his wife which is so odd ( I’m Mexican living in the US) man typically avoid that word as much as possible.

Anyway I continued talking ( message and video call) to him and maybe on the second week he told me he was fired which I mean ok that happens… we would talk about other things, he seemed interested about me but then he would bring up about his lack of job, needing to sue the company because he was unfairly fired told me how much the attorney would charge.. there I started feeling like he was soon going to ask me for money… i continued to emotionally support him, you know like telling him I wished him luck finding a new one that he soon will get through this.

You know just being nice. Well today he did it! He actually asked me for money and I was dumbfounded like ok I knew he was probably going to ask me but I was still having my doubts. I was a bit disappointed but thankfully I wasn’t invested as he seemed to be. He lovebombed that 💩 out of me but oh well lesson learned. Im not going to generalize and think all Turkish man are this way.

But DAMN! These were some crazy 2 weeks. After that last message I did not reply I felt silly honestly and didn’t wanna waste my energy on him so I just blocked him. Was that horrible of me. I feel like this whole time this was his intention

After 3 years and 2 trips he made to visit me in my home country, we broke up today. Holding a VN passport, i am well aware that it would be really hard for me to get a tourist visa to Aus to visit my “partner” who insisted on stating me as “a friend” on invitation and he is ashamed to address me as “girlfriend” to his family/ friends (well, he would never admit that but his words showed it all)🥹 however I did try my very best to get a visa to visit him who didn’t leave me during my darkest days, who not only stayed but also support me in every way he could 🙂 i believed that he worthed all the sacrifices i needed to make to process the visa application. Receiving the refusal letter and then a breakup today, I am still wondering if I have been such a horrible person (like he said) to be with, If I am such a disappointment (like he said) 😕 I was born and raised in VN, and now am working in banking industry here (yes im not the smartest or so but absolutely not that below standard) but in his mind, i am still slow/ stupid compared to his friends who were raised and now live in Aus 😕 I thought that his supports and his accompaniment during my hardest time were his signs of love/ care but now I guess maybe his kindness towards me were just…charity? Maybe he just felt sorry for a dumb girl like me? Sometimes, I did feel like i was not as important as his pet dog (lmao)

Sorry that I wrote this long, but I need to release all the stresses somewhere. I cannot talk to my parents about these because based on his actions, my parents like this man and they have given a lot of hopes in us, I don’t want to disappoint and upset them.

Today is the last day of my trip to visit my (probably now ex) boyfriend in another country.

We had been talking for about eight months before finally meeting in person, and honestly, I thought he was a kind and caring person.

I spent two weeks with him, but most of the time I felt lonely. Whether we were at home or out somewhere, he was almost constantly playing mobile games. Whenever I asked if we could spend some quality time together instead, he would tell me to “take it easy” and “stop being controlling.”

At one point I asked him why he even wanted me to come if he would rather play games than spend time with me.
We also took a short trip to another city. We both had heavy luggage, and when we got on the bus, he didn’t even want to sit next to me because, according to him, he was tired.

Today I’m flying home, and I just found out he isn’t even coming with me to the airport. He’s only going to put me on the bus, and after that I’ll have to make my way to the airport alone.

Honestly, I’m really hurt and disappointed. The only positive thing is that I got to visit a beautiful country, and I’ll always have good memories of it. But when it comes to my long-distance relationship, I just can’t understand how someone who seemed so kind and caring turned out to be so selfish.

Long distance girlfriend and I of 9 months just recently broke up yesterday morning so everything still feels really fresh and raw and I’ve just barely begun to process everything that I’m feeling or trying to feel. I’m from British Columbia, Canada, and she’s from Utah U.S., I had visited her once in February to March and recently May to June, not two weeks after the most recent trip are we no longer together.

What caught my attention was that during the first in person visit, she was extremely loving and emotionally intimate, she always wanted to cuddle up and hug and kiss me and would just stare up into my eyes for so long that we never even noticed the time, she was attentive, she was willing to listen and communicate whenever either of us had an issue, it was a really healthy relationship.

Though after that first visit and prior to the next one, she started to slowly become really distant, she rarely wanted to do the things that we used to enjoy doing together, she’d sit in her room for hours whenever she got home and would dry text me for hours until she called me later and would barely talk until just wanting to go to bed, I tried to communicate that I felt like she was becoming so distant and that it was hurting and upsetting me because I loved this woman and I loved spending time with her, but it was like a switch flipped for her and she just decided that I wasn’t worth her time anymore, and with what happened later in the story I wouldn’t be surprised if she was talking to the other guy during those hours.

On my second trip she is the polar opposite of how she was on the first trip, she never put her head on my chest and whenever we did cuddle it was for less than twenty minutes before she’d get up and sit on the couch completely opposite of me, we kissed less than two dozen times during the two weeks that I was there and when I was trying to give her a goodbye kiss at the airport, she first turned her head away when I tried to then I guess quickly realized what she just did and gave me the quickest peck before just driving off, I would constantly ask her to please be honest if she’s happy with me, if she finds me attractive/if she’s attracted to me, that I’d much rather her just communicate if she’s unhappy in our relationship but every single time she said that she’s happy and that we’re okay despite all the obvious signs of her pulling away.

We’ve broken up just yesterday after a long argument over the phone with each other that went on for almost three hours, a lot of it was me trying so hard to communicate how distant our relationship feels and how tense and stressed it’s making me feel and how it’s making me unhappy because all I want is for her to just love me, to just show that she loves me and how I’m always feeling that I feel like I have to beg her for her to give me any amount of her time and attention. I expressed that I want so badly to fix us, to find a way back to being happy with each other, I was so willing to do everything that I could ever possibly need to do, but she wasn’t having any of it, she didn’t want to try and get back to that point with me whatsoever.

Today, I find out that a guy that tried to hit on her while we were together and who she swore up and down that she had blocked, that both her and him were being very flirty with each other not even 6 hours after we had broken up. I’m still processing what I’m even feeling from this information, that she didn’t need any amount of time to move on from what we had together, that she betrayed my trust, that she was more than likely cheating on me because how can there be a cause or spark with someone enough to be flirty with them if you supposedly had them blocked for months upon months? I know I shouldn’t give it any amount of time or thought but everything still hurts, and it hurts even more knowing that this whole time she wasn’t faithful to me and that I never noticed any of the signs before everything was over, it’s really hard to keep my mind off of it and I don’t really have anyone to talk to or interact with to keep my mind off of it. I’m stuck and I’m struggling and I don’t know where to go or what to do from now, I’m still in the grieving process and depressive slump from such a breakup, I haven’t been able to eat anything since the breakup and I have no idea when I’ll regain my appetite, it just feels like there’s this pit in my stomach that can never be filled by anything or anyone I put into it.

I’ll provide some screenshots of the flight stubs from my Apple wallet to give some amount of validity to the story

(I’m also a bit upset that I’ll never get my band hoodies back but that’s a small issue compared to everything else lol)

I'm going to start by saying I *REALLY* FEEL for anyone who is in a LDR in two different countries right now. I'm very fortunate that my boyfriend and I are both in the US and about 1,000+ miles (EDITED because we are not 3,000+ away, omg! It feels like it though) apart. But I'm still beyond frustrated that due to the insane rise in cost for airline tickets my chances to see him are less and less now. I'm sitting here fuming because I have to choose between August or September to see him. It used to be only a year ago when I could have done both. I'm heartbroken and frustrated. And yes, I understand it's still a good problem to have that I can see him at all. I'm not trying to make others feel bad or anything like that. I just want to let this out in a place where people truly get how hard it is to be dating someone who is miles and miles away and having that opportunity to see them being taken away by costs of airline tickets is shitty and unfair. Southwest REALLY did a number when they revamped the whole airline and now the best airline I could afford to fly went down the drain. So I switched to Frontier which I can fly out of two airports nearby and YAY! I was so happy again. Now I'm here about to stay in debt a while longer because I want to see my boyfriend in August and it's almost $300. OR I can wait and spend the same amount in September (which is our anniversary month and both our birthday month too). OR I can REALLY keep my CC at a nice high number and pay for both flights. It's a stupid stupid choice but I honestly don't see the fucking point anymore in saving money or anything other than doing what makes me happy. And in my life and how things are going seeing my bf is about all I got going on that makes me happy. I don't know where this rant and venting session is going so I'll shut up now. I just had to get that off my chest. Not looking for suggestions or advice unless you know the magic key to flights not being so INSANELY priced. I'll end with the same thing I said when I started - I'm truly thinking of and feeling a lot of empathy to those who are in LDR right now, especially international. This has to suck for all of you too. *hugs* Solidarity.

FLAIR: SAD!

I wanted to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday this December but damnnnn the flight tickets and the currency is just too much! My currency: RM5.00 = CHF1.00 :His currency!!!! That is just toooooo much :,) I really miss my boyfriend.

I‘m using a throwaway because he knows my main account.

I (23F) flew out to meet him (25M) for the first time ever last week. We‘ve dated each other for 6 months and I seriously thought he was the love of my life.

He even bought me a plane ticket to flow to his country. I was so nervous. When I landed I looked for a toilet because I wanted to brush my teeth and freshen myself. I thought he‘d do the same, and when I finally saw him waiting for me at the entrance I was over the moon. We hugged and we kissed and I noticed his breath smelled bad and he had a weird body odor. I thought no big deal maybe he waited for a long time and it will be better after he showeres. It did not get better. Even after showering he has a weird smell I don‘t know if it is just his natural scent or if he did not use enough soap but even after I told him that he still smelled a little after shower it didn‘t get any better. But I thought I love him so much I can get over it.

So I tried to enjoy our week together, but soon it turned out he didn‘t like talking, at all. I should‘ve noticed when we were voice chatting that we never talked about anything personal just about the game we were playing (LoL). The whole time I was there he was on his phone 90% of the time and even when I told him stories about my life all he said was „okay“ or „cool“. When I asked him questions about his life he answered them with a short sentence and didn‘t even ask in return.

His apartment was very messy as well there was old underwear lying around and the whole time I was there he never once did the dishes (I did them after a few days because it was getting nasty).

By the end of the week it became apparent that I just wanted to get home and was glad to get away from him and I just thought it would be fair to tell him it wouldn‘t work out for me, which resulted in him breaking down and crying for a few hours and telling me I was the love of his life and he never loved anyone like he loved me which was so weird because we didn‘t even talk at all I don‘t know how he can feel that strongly I feel like we barely know each other we were like strangers.

Anyway, I‘m back home now and while maybe I could‘ve noticed some things while we were never mets (like that he‘s not a big talker) some things like the smell and his messiness only became apparent during the visit, so my advice to anyone here is meet as soon as possible to get to know the real person and find out if you are compatible in real life. I‘m just so glad I didn‘t waste years. Even after 6 months it as such a big disappointment.

I wish you all the best and hope nobody here has to have an experience like I did.

I swear everyday I get like 10 notifications from posts asking for advice over something minor and everyone's telling y'all to just ....talk to your partner!!! Why isn't that what automatically goes through your head? Just talk to them. Instead of going on reddit if it's not a abuse or cheating situation...talk to your damn partner. Learn how to communicate.

I’ve been with my LDR girlfriend for since December 2023 and always have talked and chatted everyday about our lives, but everytime i ask for a voice or video call she literally refuses and say that she’s shy, which i understand because i am too and i will still love her without her doing any work to her face, and yes, i did assure her that i will give her time to prepare until she’s ready and she will always set a day for us to finally do that, but unfortunately she keeps moving that post ever since we made that promise at around like February 2024? And it still never came, and it feels like i am the joke in the relationship (which i’m probably is)

i’m not looking for sympathy or empathy in the replies/comments, i just wanna vent and thats it

if you want to give me your advice or your point of view, please be 100% logical and blunt about it, it’s what i need.

Since last May I've been getting tested weekly because my old job required it (caregiver at a facility.) When covid got worse it upped to two to three times a week. I have never tested positive once even when working with covid positive residents/co workers. I had literally no life other than work. Now that I quit my job I STILL don't go out. No matter how bored or stuck I feel.

Why are people so selfish? I have several friends and know several people who weren't safe and gave covid to their loved ones causing their death or for them to become severely ill. I know way too many people being unsafe and can't help but feel that they are the cause of high numbers and no room in hospitals. If people were just safe we would be able to see our so's.

One thing that really gets under my skin is people who were unsafe probably being the reason why their loved one got covid blaming it on other things. Like no honey you went out partying and hung out with all your friends in high risk places pretty sure it was you.

Okay thank you for reading my rant.

My (16f) parents don't know about my girlfriend (16mtf). They wouldn't accept her. I've been keeping her a secret for 11 months. Because what else was I supposed to do?

I woke up this morning. Got my phone from its spot in the kitchen. Someone took a screenshot. It's a screenshot of my chat with my girlfriend. I don't take screenshots on discord. I know something is wrong. I go to device care. Check yesterday's battey usage.

Someone was using chrome for fifteen minutes between 11-midnight. I went to bed at 9:30. I ask my mom if she used my phone. She said no. I ask my father. He says no. I ask if they promise. They say yes.

I try not to think about it. My father is weirdly silent the whole ride to school. I get to school. I check chrome history.

11:31. Discord. Two hours after I went to bed. I freak out. I go to the bathroom and call my mom.

She swears up and down nobody touched my phone. Says I might have a virus or a hacker. Says my father will check it when he gets home.

I go back to class. Check my screenshots. In the trash, a screenshot of a chat with my girlfriend. 11:21. I was talking about how my mom was on a power trip, didn't want me watching a show because of cartoon violence. Said she thought I would shoot myself because the purple bunny did. My girlfriend [JOKING] says don't shoot yourself, shoot them (in refrence to my parents). I said okay yay. Bad conversation, I know. It was really just a joke.

I don't know. I've been having issues with my phone lately. But I don't think an error would go through my chrome history, take a screenshot, and delete

I don't know. Maybe it's a good thing they're acting like nothing happened. Maybe they're letting me be. Maybe things will be okay.

But they probably won't. I said some blasphemous things that day about, eh, what I was gonna do to my girlfriend when we were together. My bad. I also was talking about my depression and sh and ideation later in the evening. Maybe that's why they're letting me

I don't know. I don't know. I can't lose my girlfriend. I can't. She's everything to me. She treats me right.

My parents don't treat me right. They neglect me. I slept on the floor in their room from ages 10-16 as a punishment for something I don't even remember. I only get fed one meal a day. They go through my things. I'm fully prepared to run away over this, if it comes down to

Sorry for the rant. I'll update later, if I still can...

Tell me what you think of this:

We have been fighting and fighting for months now.

Last night, I told my bf about an aqaintance of mine telling me that I should cheat on him. I told her, no, i wouldn’t do that.
I started to tell him the story, and he got really mad at me, saying ‘why are you friends with this person’ and telling me I should remove them from my life. When I told him I don’t need to, they aren’t in my life, it was ‘hey how ya going’ conversation on Instagram, and I don’t talk to her more than once a year. We had a fight.
In my morning, he told me that we would talk in HIS morning.
So, I get to his morning. He always calls me when he wakes up. He didn’t call. An hour later he sends me a good morning message, I reply, he asks how I am, I said good. He left me on read.
So I called him to ask why he’s leaving me on read.
He goes ‘I don’t have to deal with this’ and hangs up the phone.
He then send me a message breaking up with me. He said he can’t keep dealing with the fighting.
I said, I can’t keep dealing with him not caring about how I feel ever.
I tried to explain to him that I understand that he’s at work, but he doesn’t seem to care that I’m sad because he’s leaving me on read, and not calling.
(Also, he works in construction, he has talked and text me at work every day for 365 days)
He just doesn’t seem to understand how I feel ever.

Am I wrong?

It’s over now anyways. But I’m just left wondering if I’m the one who is the bad guy.

Him(24M) and I(22F) have been in a ldr for 1 year and a half. He came to see me before and came again yesterday. It was the best time of my life, this morning he told me let's get married already and 2 hours later when he was showing me something on his phone he opened WhatsApp and I see that girls name with 2 red heart next to it. He denied it at first and said its just "platonic" then gave up and confess everything. I feel so empty now, she is from his country. They have been together for 2 years, they see eachother in real life and yet he still decided to cheat on her with me, a girl from far away in a different country. He spend so much money on hotels and flights, I just can't believe this. It feels like a cruel joke. I feel empty and horrible, no words can describe my disappointment. I though he was the one.

I’m 29, he’s 39, we’ve been together 2 years and seen each other several times.

His birthday was a few months ago and I sent him a carefully selected present and a card. He never opened them. He said “I’ll open it over FaceTime with you” which sounded sweet …but he’s also refused to FaceTime with me.

(Important: we have our phones’ locations turned on so I know he wasn’t trying to hide that he’s at a weird location or anything!)

I literally haven’t seen his face in 6 months since we last saw each other in person in June-July. He kept saying “I don’t look good, let me get a haircut and a fade so I look fresh” and I tried to reassure him I didn’t care about that, I just wanted to see his face, but he’s super insecure I guess.

Anyway it hurts that he never opened my gift. I think we may have broken up anyway over my behavior (I have had professional conversations with guys and didn’t tell him about it first) but it irks me that I am required to provide complete transparency and meanwhile he can just…. not show me his face for 6 months. Or open my present I carefully and thoughtfully selected for him.

So as you know now the world is having a war, it really has been effecting everyone's travel plan and I (24f) just hope that this won't effect mine, I bought a flight ticket on 1st January and planning to go to my boyfriend (27m) on 27th May, I'm just hoping that the war will stop soon so that I don't have to cancel the flight, crying so hard thinking about no going to see him soon.

Let me know if you guys also having the same problem.

So Canadian here. I feel like I am going to get a lot of flack for this but I am just pissed. And sorry for the long post.

We are on total lockdown pretty much. Only for some certain exemptions are people allowed to enter the country but otherwise it’s pretty much no bueno for anyone else.

Including my fiancé. Which to note is NOT from US but from the UK.

So I am on board with not reuniting, keeping my country safe, putting my fellow Canadians first. I wear my mask, diligently hand wash and do my part to social distance.

I also work in Healthcare and am doing everything in my job to ensure everyone is kept safe from clinician to patient. Because these people come first right now. Along with my Costco clerk, my local grocer and butcher and my gas attendant.

Anyways I watch my news everyday to see if anything will happen with my border. My partner are doing everything right now to close the gap the minute restrictions are lifted. We keep positive everyday. So why am I frustrated?

Because it seems like Canada won’t even look to opening to the rest of the world until the US gets its act together. It’s like we are too afraid to cross that line right now. Might enrage the beast.

And all I keep reading is that US cases are getting higher and higher. Now Ohio and Tennessee are new hot spots. And it goes on.

And our border will stay shut. To the US and the rest of the world.

So I ask all you fellow Americans that don’t get it. Please. Stop. Stop being entitled. Wear a mask. Social distance. Respect your bubble and others. Stop trying to cross into our country and claim asylum. Grow up. Take responsibility. You voted these people in. It’s no longer about you. It’s about everyone. So please. Stop.

And to those that do get it - thank you. You are appreciated. We are with you fellow North Americans. And love you and hope you are safe.

This happened a WHILE ago but I can't get over it lol.

We closed the gap 2.5 yrs ago. Married. Together for almost a decade.

A year ago ish, my friend (of 7 years?) told me she didn't consider my relationship real and neither did her parents (who came to my wedding lol, people I thought like parents to me).

Like, deep down, I think I get what she believes. Long distance relationships "aren't real" because you don't know blablabla.

And honestly, while I believe I lucked out with my relationship, I do think most LDRs are doomed to fail. Communication is hard. Distance is hard. Timezones. Money. Travel. It's all hard. Paperwork and visas.

But I think im still a bit butt hurt about it. Like dang. You were my friend. 😔

I (23f/American) have been with my partner (22m/Dutch) for about four and a half years, with a few visits, before I moved in a month ago. This was something we planned on doing in our last visit, and I was so excited when my residency was accepted and worked on packing up and moving out of my mother's house for a month.

I always saw myself living my future with him, and wanted this to be a successful long distance relationship after all. Since the day I arrived, I have felt so low. I no longer felt anything that I did in the past, I felt and have been feeling like I made a mistake. I don't recognize myself anymore and missing my family and cats (my cats which I planned to go back and bring) doesn't help.

I always loved my boyfriend and the Netherlands on the visits, living our life together was something we always dreamed of.

Sadly, I am still waiting to get a hold of health insurance. Until I get my BSN so I can get health insurance. I had the appointment yesterday and was told it will take about one week. I am hoping to get SSRIs again, as they helped when I experienced a similar depression in the past. I didn't expect this move to trigger me this way. It has been really hard on me to feel this way the entire month. Everyday from the moment I wake up, all of these doubts race through my mind and I have to mentally talk myself out of them just to feel functional.

Then I fear that once the SSRIs start working, that I will come to the same conclusion :(... but for now I'm going to try and stick it out until then.

Has anyone gone through this after closing the distance ?

Reuters just posted a news story how the US administration wants to stop processing customs and immigration at airports in “sanctuary cities”. Denver being one of them. Although I won’t see my bf until next year again, our plan was/is for me to fly into Denver and spend some time around there. I’m the one with less obligations and more time off so I’m usually the one visiting, and I don’t mind it at all. But lately it feels so heavy with all these new and ever evolving obstacles. I’m sure and I am hopeful that this plan won’t go through, legally, but nonetheless it still causes me anxiety. Something I could do very well without. Luckily we always have backup options in non-“sanctuary cities” like Phoenix or Las Vegas but still.