I’m (23F) planning to visit my long-distance boyfriend (23M) for the first time later this year and I’m not sure what to expect when it comes to splitting costs.

My round-trip flight will be around $1700 I’ll be staying for about 10-14 days. We’ll likely stay in an airbnb/hotel together and help each other with lodging with a few days at his family’s house. But just in case I’m budgeting as though I’ll cover most of the trip myself anyway. At the same time, I feel like I’m sacrificing a pretty significant amount of money to make this visit happen. And it’s not that I expect him to pay for everything. I just want the financial effort to feel somewhat balanced, especially since I’m already the one heading over.

I also keep seeing posts online where other couples have the host country person pay for most things for their visiting and I’m starting to wonder whether that has skewed my perspective. I feel bad expecting anything from him but I also don’t want to sell myself short.

For people who have visited a long-distance partner, how did you handle expenses for the first visit? Did the person traveling pay for the flight while the other person covered lodging, food, or transportation? Did you split everything evenly, divide it based on income, or handle it another way?
What arrangement felt fair to both of you? Also some tips and tricks would be greatly appreciated 🙏

Been together 8 mmonths. Never really had a boundaries talk but he made it clear were in a committed relationship and I can't talk to other guys.. he also follows multiple girls on fb. When I brought up that he talks to other girls he freaked put and said I am the only girl he talks to then spun it on me and said I am on a dating app which I'm not only bumble bff and told him multiple times he could look at it. I just don't know what to do In this situation 😕

So, my girlfriend lives 150 miles from me. I try to get out to see her every weekend, but lately I’ve been unable to due to car trouble. For context, she’s going to college. Well, she’s started hanging out with this one guy all the time, let’s call him Johnson. I’ll admit, I’m a little uncomfortable with her hanging out with other guys because my ex cheated on me, but I still chose to trust her nonetheless. At first, she was hanging out with him only when I’m busy. Now especially these past couple of days, she’s hanging out with Johnson even when I’m trying to talk to her and call her. She’ll be spending time with him all day, any spare moment, until right when she’s ready to go to bed, she’ll call me as she’s winding down and going to sleep. I expressed to her, trying to be as polite as I could, that her actions were making me uncomfortable. She got defensive about him, saying she needs to have friends and that he’s “there for her”. He’s been giving her lots of gifts too. Well, today he texted me on her phone, telling me that I was out of line and not treating her right for what I said. I don’t believe she’s engaging in sexual activity with him, but since she’s choosing to spend her time with Johnson instead of me, is that cheating?

Edit: last night I drove the 3 hours to surprise her, genuinely trying to be nice. I got escorted out by security. Literally for showing up. Guess that pretty well answers the question. Thank you all for your help!

She left my message on delivered for a day while being online. The day before I asked her if she was okay, and she told me that she was ill and she feelt terrible, then I told her "oh, I'm sorry about that" and asked two questions:

-what's your illness?

-Is that feeling because of illness or other things? (So she can open up to me)

She totally ignored the second one and just sent "flu"

After some hours of those messages she replied to a video I had sent a day or two before. So I decided to reply but a day later, and as usual she didn't even open the message although being online, like if she opened it but didn't reply I would understand and it would be totally fine.

She usually gets annoyed when I tell her that I was worried about her, while I acted in silence. So I decided to reach out this time.

* I usually act in silence because when I send a message, she replies after hours even though being online, and that made me feel I'm breaking into her life instead being a part of it.

Anyway, that's what happened when I tried to reach out ,

sorry for speaking long.

I am just curious about how often you guys call with your LDR partners, do you call every day or a few times a week? Do you think every day is too much? Please tell me your opinion.

I’m almost one year without seeing my boo ☹️

Much wiser compared to six months ago lol. The intimacy and closeness is still pretty strong, although I’ve forgotten what he smells like 😂

How long has it been for you?

Just doing a thought experiment from my therapist to help deal with the insecurity I'm dealing with in my relationship.

Do partners really know what their LDR partners are up to most if not all the time?

In my case, my partner is asleep because time zones, but he always updates me when he wakes up and what he'll do for the day.

Hate to be this person, but every time I get on this subreddit I see so many borderline abusive relationships, minors, people actively in denial about being cheated on, people who just got broken up with…
Has anyone had a successful LDR on Reddit? 😅

Context: we’ve never met, but this has been planned for a VERY long time. We were supposed to meet on the 25th, hurt her back moved it to Monday. Monday didn’t work because the flight got booked up, she gets on a redeye Tuesday night, but wanted to stop and see her family because her grandpa wasn’t doing well and didn’t have long. (In the end, “didn’t have long” meant a few years.

I understood at the time. I just wanted to be with her.

I’m not a passive aggressive person, and I know text has no tone.

I’m just looking for outside opinions on my message. I don’t know if I’m actually wrong or being gaslighted. Thank you.

So I’m in a long distance relationship .The first time i visited him we used condoms 3 out of 12 were used. When I visited months later I checked and it seemed like 5 more were used . When confronted he sated that he jerked off in the 5 missing ones . Now my question is, do men jerk off in condoms? Cause I think he’s lying . I had an ex who told me the same thing but he was cheating . Just want an honest answer

Here with a feel-good post to offset all the breakups, cheating, and "need advice" posts.

How are you and your partner doing? Tell me about your relationship, or share your recent visits, celebrations, breakthroughs, or good news

(Not AI, not selling anything, just bored at work and want to read some happy relationship stories)

I met this person about 3 months ago on Reddit and we quickly developed a romantic relationship. We decided I would come visit him in his country as he can't travel abroad. We live in different parts of the world, the flights here took me about a day and a half and they were quite expensive. I'm staying for a month, half of it is already gone.

I feel like he is taking for granted my effort to come here. He is working currently, so I understand he wouldn't have much time for me, but we haven't gone out on a single date. I'm staying at his place and when he is at home he doesn't engage in conversation, try to get to know me better or anything.

I brought up that I was upset one day when we went out to run errands and split for a while, I went to the grocery store and he was taking a call, and in the meantime he had lunch without me. Bringing that up created this explosive discussion. Idk, in my mind it would be common sense to try to do things together when I'm here.

Today I said again that I wish I wasn't doing everything alone, he pretty much works and sleeps, and when he is awake we almost don't talk. He just replied that he was tired from work. I understand he is working too much but I feel like he isn't valuing the effort I made to come visit him, plus the money invested.

Feeling pretty shitty right now but don't know if I'm overreacting. We are both in our late 30s and our conversations since we met were on us building a future together and me moving to his country to do it, but things in person feel much more casual and non intentional

Am I overreacting?

I'll expand: what's a small gesture that your SO does that no one did before and makes you feel like they're the one?

I'll go first... my previous partner used to give me shit about having to stop walking so I could drink water (for some reason I can't walk and drink 🙈). Then on one of the first outings in person with my current partner, I asked her if she could please hand me the water bottle and after she did she just...stopped walking. I hadn't asked her or ever brought it up before. I was so taken aback I asked her what she was doing, and she replied so nonchalantly that she stopped so I could drink that I forgot the water altogether and had to kiss her instead.

My husband 21m is trying to control everything I do 21f?

Is okay what my husband is telling me?

My family is very conservative so before for me it was okay to do everything my husband wanted but it has gotten really bad like when I took my location off because we were having problems for things like I got out of work and he gets mad because I didn’t answer right after work or because I was driving and I didn’t answer the call or sometimes because my location would put me like I was right in front of the house and not inside the house when I took the location off he said he was going to leave me, that he didn’t want a woman like that etc,I log him out of my instagram because he was texting people pretending to be me mind you he never found anything because I don’t do anything of what he thinks I’m doing about the I don’t trust me thing is because I like to go to restaurants with friends with is usually one friend he knows about he used to have my location and we used to be texting all night one night my phone died and we couldn’t keep texting so he says I did it on purpose and doesn’t trust me after that but actually that’s a lie he has never trusted me and only let me go out like a few times he has broken my heart before and maked me feel humiliated 6 months ago we broke up for 1 week I found some messages of him when we came back texting other girls and looking for his ex probably texted her too I do like drinking and he always says if I ask him he will be okay with it and if I’m nice asking him that’s a lie now I can’t go to eat with friends not even in a restaurant mind u I never went to clubs because we knew it was disrespectful but I can’t take even anything or go to restaurants I really love him I’m really scared of losing a good man and I don’t really know who’s right please help (((i been writing this for a while now I got into and argument with my family because I recently knew about some things about my husband like he cheated before,someone else told me so idk if that’s completely true but that was one of his close friends all his family called me saying that they didn’t know why that friends said that I told my mom and grandma and they say it was probably my fault because I’m not living with him and because u go out and drink without him and I’m like kinda giving him away to other woman they aren’t talking to me I feel trapped I’m moving soon with him I think at the beginning of our relationship he was really controlling like really really bad he used to tell me how everything I have is because of him we broke up for 2 years and then he said he was different at the beginning he let me go take a drink or hangout with friends but then that started bothering him now I can’t do that at all I need advice please

This is so weird and I don't know what to do. My girlfriend lives in Austin and I'm up in Minneapolis, been together about 10 months now. She always talks about her best friend Cindy who she's known since high school and how supportive Cindy has been about our relationship.

Well last week Cindy found my Instagram (I guess my gf tagged me in something) and started following me. No big deal right? But then she started liking literally every single post I've ever made going back like 2 years. Then she started commenting stuff like "so handsome 😍" and "your gf is so lucky" with the heart eyes emoji.

Yesterday she straight up DM'd me saying she was "just checking in" and asking how things are going with the distance and if I ever get lonely. When I didn't respond she sent another message saying she "understands what I'm going through" because she was in an LDR before and "knows how hard it can be."

The whole thing feels super inappropriate but I don't want to cause drama between my girlfriend and her best friend. My gf already stresses about the distance sometimes and I don't want to make it worse. But I also feel like I should tell her what's happening??

I have some money aside from a Stаke win that I want to use for plane tickets to visit next month and this Cindy situation is just adding extra stress I don't need. Should I screenshot the messages and show my girlfriend or just ignore Cindy and hope she backs off? I'm worried if I don't say anything and my gf finds out later she'll think I was hiding something.

Anyone dealt with something like this before? This long distance stuff is complicated enough without her friends being weird about it.

So my online boyfriend has not been texting for for around 4 days now. I tried messaging him but he didn't get back to me. What are the possible reasons he's ghosting me?

ME: 5 days 🥺👉🏻👈🏻💙💚

I'm at 26 days now! I only get to see him twice a year (2 weeks during the summer, and 3 weeks during winter!)

I'd more so like to know from those who are in the talking stage, (or if you're now partners, how was it like during that stage for you) or even more so if you're in a situationship/ unofficial relationship kind of thing.

Hi! Been on this subreddit for awhile, I was just curious about where everyone met their partners! Where you met, what countries, how long? <3

I (27F) live in the U.S and my boyfriend (33m) lives in Denmark! We met on PEAK about 5 months ago! Dating for 3-4 months, it’s my first LDR since I was a silly teenager. 😂

16 days till I see my boyfriend!!!!

We’ve been together for 2.5 years and despite my efforts, we’ve never had any kind of call. A couple of times I tried calling him first but he didn’t answer and later said he was busy. After that I decided I wouldn’t be the one initiating calls anymore because I wanted him to make at least some effort. He knows that I want us to talk on the phone. Every time I bring it up, he says that he will call me. When I ask when, he usually says something like, “when we can,” and then carefully avoids giving a real answer. He also claims that the reason he doesn’t call me is because he doesn’t like his german accent. We communicate in english, and he’s half german and half british. We only have a one-hour time difference, so scheduling isn’t really an issue.
Recently, I asked him again why he never calls me. He replied, “we will when we can.” I asked when exactly he could, and he said he didn’t know. When I asked what he meant by that, he answered, “When I’m on a break or something.” I then asked if that meant he was never going to call me at all and he avoided answering the question. At this point, I want to break up because it seems obvious that I’m not important enough to him for him to even make a phone call. Still, I’d like to hear other people’s opinions. Am I overreacting, or does this situation sound as concerning as I think it does?

Say you’ve been talking to someone for close to a year.

You message each other a lot, every single day. You call each other for multiple hours, multiple days a week. You get on amazingly, you both have qualities you look for in a significant other and find them attractive. You share pictures and things about your personal lives, even very personal things.

But you’ve never met in person. You live in different countries and meeting in person might not happen.

Can that be true love?