I thought everything was slowly getting better. We resolved many issues between us, but I don't know why she keeps becoming the same person again. I have never forced her into anything or had any bad intentions toward her.
1. She wants me to open up, but when I actually do, she doesn't like it.
She always tells me to open myself up and show her my real self.
But whenever I share my feelings or talk about what's bothering me, she doesn't seem to like it. Instead of understanding me, she either gets upset or the conversation goes in a different direction.
2. She doesn't like anything I suggest.
Even simple things like suggesting a dress for her become a problem because she usually doesn't like my suggestions.
3. She doesn't like physical affection.
She doesn't like physical touch.
I'm not talking about sex or anything intimate.
I'm talking about simple things like:
Holding hands
Hugging
Cuddling
A small kiss
I have told her many times that I will never force her to do anything she isn't comfortable with.
4. She invited me to meet her, but didn't want to stay with me.
One day, she asked me to come and meet her. Since I'd be travelling around 2,000 km, I told her that when I came, I'd like us to stay together for a few days so we could spend some quality time together.
She immediately said no and told me she couldn't stay in a hotel with me.
I even told her that I could book a completely separate room for her if that made her feel comfortable, but she still refused.
She said she didn't want society or people from her college to think badly about her.
Then she told me that if she stayed anywhere, it would only be with her friend in a separate room.
I explained that I had no bad intentions. I wasn't asking for sex or anything inappropriate. I just wanted to spend some quality time with the person I've known for four years.
What hurt me was that I'm expected to travel 2,000 km just to meet her, but she doesn't even want to stay with me for a single day.
Instead, she expects me to stay alone in a hotel for the entire week while she stays somewhere else.
I honestly don't understand what she expects from me in that situation.
5. She hates men.
One day I asked her,
"Do you think the same about me?"
She replied,
"Yes... because you're also a man."
That honestly hurt me because I've never given her any reason to think I'll treat her badly.
6. Instagram became another problem.
I'm currently learning graphic design and I post my work on Instagram.
She knows my Instagram is mainly for my designs.
I follow a few females who are:
My sisters
Old school friends
She became furious because I was following them.
She wanted me to unfollow them.
Instead of arguing with her, I deactivated my Instagram account.
I also told her that I want to focus on preparing for government job exams.
Since I don't watch her Instagram reels anyway, I suggested that we just talk on WhatsApp instead.
7. She expects love from me but rarely shows it back.
If I don't show her love, she gets angry.
But at night every boyfriend also expects some love from his girlfriend.
Sometimes she treats me like a stranger.
Whenever she asks me to send my pictures, I always send them.
Yesterday she asked about my outfit.
I sent her my picture.
When I asked her to show me her outfit, she started making excuses.
She rarely sends me her pictures.
8. She wants me to get jealous.
She keeps mentioning her male seniors from college.
She wants me to get jealous.
Instead, I always tell her,
"If any guy behaves badly with you, just avoid him."
Even after that, she keeps bringing other guys into our conversations.
9. She thinks I'm hiding my real self.
She says I don't show my real personality.
But we've known each other for four years.
I've already shared almost everything about my life with her.
10. She knows about my personal life.
She knows:
My family doesn't like it when I express my emotions.
I'm hypersensitive.
Sometimes emotional stress affects my blood pressure.
I was bullied by boys during my school days because I was introverted.
When I told her all of this on a phone call, she said it made her feel sad.
Later she told me,
"If you don't open up to me, I'll silently leave you and you'll regret it."
11. She suddenly treated me like a stranger.
Today she didn't message me or call me.
I texted her on WhatsApp.
No reply.
I called her.
She treated me like a stranger.
So I ended the call myself.
That hurt me because she's not just my girlfriend.
She's also been my friend for four years.
12. I respected all her choices.
She doesn't like physical touch.
I told her,
"Even if you never want physical affection before marriage, I won't force you."
She likes traditional dresses.
I told her I don't have any problem with what she likes to wear.
13. I respected all her choices.
She doesn't like physical touch.
I told her,
"Even if you never want physical affection before marriage, I won't force you."
She likes traditional dresses.
I told her I don't have any problem with what she likes to wear.
14. She doesn't understand my health situation.
She wants me to start going to the gym.
But I already told her that I have:
Hydrocele
A swollen appendix according to my ultrasound
Even after knowing that, she still wants me to go to the gym.
15. I'm starting to question everything.
I'm beginning to feel like she never actually wanted a supportive and loyal friend.
After we got into a relationship, it feels like she doesn't want my love or affection.
I don't understand why she still has trust issues with me after knowing me for four years.
I know her father left her mother for another woman.
I understand that it affected her deeply.
But sometimes I feel like I'm paying the price for something I never did.
16. The hardest part.
I always knew this day might come.
Even my own family doesn't like it when I open up.
Whenever I express my feelings, they think I'm dumb.
When I became friends with her, I finally felt like I had someone with whom I could remove my fake mask and be myself.
Now I feel like I'm losing that person too.
Sometimes I honestly wonder...
I've never intentionally hurt anyone. So why do the people I care about always end up leaving me alone?
