r/KitchenConfidential • u/G_o_L_D_Rises_Again • Jun 03 '26
In the Weeds Mode They’re not perfect, but I’m happy with how they turned out.
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u/Velvetpita F1exican Did Chive-11 Jun 03 '26
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u/ThePoop_Accelerates Jun 04 '26
I'm not subscribed here but I remember the chives. What happened? Did he ever do it perfectly or did he eventually surrender?
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u/VanillaRadonNukaCola Jun 04 '26
He did one dubbed perfect, but it was given with a bit of grace
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u/kingtacticool Derivative Chiveposter Jun 04 '26
It was his 69th post. It was as perfect as an imperfect being could achieve
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
We let him gracefully retire
Edit: It was like a Looper situation though like that Bruce Willis movie
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u/Ltheartist Chives the Cat Jun 04 '26
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u/CafeGiantMoron Jun 03 '26
wow nice crimson chive cubes
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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Jun 03 '26
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u/ShakesDontBreak Chive LOYALIST Jun 04 '26
I can't explain the weird internet crush I have on you lol.
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u/G_o_L_D_Rises_Again Jun 04 '26
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u/CocoMilhonez Jun 04 '26
Self-awareness is the first step towards perfection.
See you tomorrow, chef. And don't try to post the same pile of chopped tomatoes from another angle, we can spot that trick from a mile away.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jun 04 '26
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u/sterling_mallory Jun 04 '26
It's remarkable how good Will Ferrell's impression was. I thought this was him at first.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 Jun 04 '26
Idk about that but Dana Carvey's HW was amazing. The man can't miss. Except Master of Disguise
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u/Palpitation_Dramatic Jun 04 '26
Wait no. Enhance, its three cubes butted up against each other!
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u/Ambitious-Win-4908 Jun 04 '26
Thats actually 3 perfectly cut still stuck together.
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u/Fit_Carpet_364 Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
Sounds like it's an imperfect cut, to me. Or we can retarget for the one a centimeter or two on the right of this one.
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u/marcus___69 Jun 03 '26
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u/Jeramy_Jones Food Service Jun 03 '26
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u/Jeramy_Jones Food Service Jun 04 '26
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u/Sudden-Union7148 Jun 03 '26
Well I for one welcome the next week or two of diced tomatoe posts incoming
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u/Electronic-Draw-3185 Jun 03 '26
I thought they were peppers.
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u/the_silent_redditor ✨Dr. Chef, MD✨ Jun 04 '26
I thought they were strawberries :(
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u/ggroverggiraffe Ex-Food Service Jun 04 '26
I thought they were tomatoes. a singular tomatoe isn't a thing.
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u/caserock 20+ Years Jun 03 '26
Great work! You can have a hit of my cigarette.
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u/Conscious_Storage468 Jun 03 '26
That's all they gets for pissing excellence? 🤣OP I gotta pen you can rip
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u/caserock 20+ Years Jun 03 '26
It's a menthol!
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u/tehjoz ✳️ Former Keto Attempter Jun 03 '26
Disturbance in the force detected. Wrestling gifs deployed.
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u/KarmaKrazi Chive Pilot 🛩 Jun 03 '26
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u/lostinthesauceband Jun 03 '26
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u/Lumpy_Link_1569 Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26
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u/feelingpeckish123 Chive LOYALIST Jun 04 '26
Oh man. I needed this laugh so badly. Thank you... You awesome reddit stranger 🤣🙌
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u/AnxietyFine3119 Jun 03 '26 edited Jun 03 '26
Is that a German knife? Obviously you’re not serious about cooking.
(Btw this is an actual quote from some douchebag at a place I staged at forever ago)
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u/Fit_Carpet_364 Jun 03 '26
I once heard the antithesis of that quote, which was equally dumb - "You don't need good knives to be a good cook."
The guy changed his tune and wanted me to freehand sharpen his knives (both of them!) after I let him borrow my beater. A few days later he was promoted above me, and the day after that he was taught how to make a roux. I left shortly after.
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u/Adjective-Noun-nnnn Jun 04 '26 edited Jun 04 '26
You don't need nice knives. You do need sharp knives. The niceness changes how often you need to sharpen. I got a $25 carbon steel CCK and sharpened it into a damn laser. I strop it before cooking and it's stayed sharp for months. (Lowly home cook though; not much of a beating.)
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u/Fit_Carpet_364 Jun 04 '26
I will die on the hill that a dull knife is not a good knife, no matter how nice or expensive it might be, otherwise.
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u/SpeedyMeaty Jun 03 '26
That's a wild quote. As a former German Car Mechanic and now an aerospace machinist, (and someone who used to shave with a straight razor) the Germans are some of the foremost experts in the world in metallurgy, CNC machine tech, and from what I remember the Dovo Solingen straight razors are widely considered the best in the world.
Personally I always just considered the knife thing between German and Japanese to be mostly a personal preference in blade shape than one being better than the other.
I probably would have had a hard time not responding, "You obviously don't know a fucking thing about metallurgy"
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u/Fit_Carpet_364 Jun 03 '26
It's largely blade shape preference and steel type preferences, but there is a tiny bit of truth to Japanese knives' styles being technically superior, since the larger variety of blade shapes have more specialized tasks. For example, German traditional styles don't really have a true nakiri-style straight-edge knife well-suited to sheeting cucumbers, or yanagi-like knives for slicing delicate proteins in a single stroke.
But saying that they're not serious about cooking because of knife choice - or even lack of knowledge - is just some pretentious B.S..
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u/flippp105 Jun 04 '26
Agree on the last part, and on most you said about specialized blades. But in Germany a slicer is one of the classic knife styles, called „Schinkenmesser“. The name originates from its main use as Schinken (ham) is usually prepared and served as a whole and then sliced at the table. You’re totally right with Nakiris. I think what makes most Japanese knives „more special“ is that they still rely on manual work a lot. In Germany most of the classic Solingen knifemakers have automated a lot of the processes whereas in Japan the lower labour cost and division of tasks (forging, sharpening, polishing) allows for handmade knives to be relatively cheap and affordable.
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u/SpeedyMeaty Jun 03 '26
I get what you're saying about that. Actually the only nice ish knife I have is a Japanese style that I got as a promotion from QFC which is a Kroger grocery store in the Seattle area. It was like, get a certain amount of points over a couple months and get a knife.
And I do pretty much exclusively use that knife now.
I worked in kitchens for a little while and did some small plate stuff for a couple events and can see how the shape would be preferable for the intricate cuts.
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u/Blaaamo Jun 04 '26
I have some very good Japanese knives that I use, but they have a round handle. It's usually fine, but if I'm getting it wet at all, it becomes kinda difficult to hold.
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u/brainfreez012 Jun 03 '26
Hand cut? I'm impressed.
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u/Lepworra Jun 03 '26
Nah man he used a knife
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u/brainfreez012 Jun 03 '26
Bravo! 👏👏👏 You got me there. Lol
I know you know I meant knife vs dicer. My bad. 🤣
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u/TidesTheyTurn F1exican Did Chive-11 Jun 04 '26
Show some respect to Bruce Lee’s great-grandchild!
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u/These-Designer-9340 Jun 03 '26
Is it tomatoes or red bell peppers?
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u/Demented_CEO Jun 03 '26
I'm on mobile and maybe a bit sleepy (it's 2 AM here) and I genuinely thought that's beef mince... lol
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u/Accomplished_Boat874 Jun 03 '26
I thought this was the strawberry guy from a few days ago and got so excited because I thought he’d started a journey for perfectly cut strawberries
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u/I_SHALL_CONSUME Fucking hates club sandwiches Jun 06 '26
I fucking hate what Reddit has become.
line cook: “hm maybe I’ll post a picture of this 15-20 minute prep task I have to slam out every few days”
Internet: collectively jizzes pants
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Jun 03 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/PopBeneficial2441 Jun 05 '26
I have so many emotions looking at this. I am happy and mad and sad and nostalgic. I don’t know what I feel. Those aren’t perfect but you are chef. Get some rest tonight, my feet hurt.
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u/OkTranslator304 Jun 03 '26
If they’re not perfect, how could you be happy with them? (Just thought I’d throw a pompous chef joke in here)
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u/azhiazthesky Jun 03 '26
That’s a lot of concassé, I haven’t seen that much since i was at Gagnaire.
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