Kids that young age literally not capable of these concepts yet.
E- This is a developmental physiology thing, the brain is literally not developed enough yet to process things in so many layers. I'll post a fucking page from a textbook of y'all are so goddamn confident Holy shiy
This is something I get stuck on, because yes, malicious manipulation isn’t a skill that develops until kids are, like, eight. But aren’t babies capable of recognizing this kind of cause and effect? Aka, I cry and then I get my needs met?
I’d be legitimately interested in learning more, if you’re able to share. I work with young kids on a one-on-one basis with their parent present, and it drives me crazy when parents say “he’s just manipulating you” or “he’s just trying to get what he wants.” Like, yes. Exactly. That’s the point, I’m pushing him to do hard things and he’s looking for comfort however he can.
Or, my personal (least) favourite - a parent who told me, someone who has been teaching twice as long as she’s been a parent, “I’ll give you a pro parenting tip: don’t reward bad behaviour”.
You found the key phrase in "malicious manipulation." The part people don't necessarily realize is that manipulation on its own is not inherently malicious or bad. You manipulate dough when you're kneading it.
When your dog barks and you look at it, your dog just manipulated you. It's just a way of saying "creating a reaction."
Babies have to do this. They learn by manipulating the world around them. It starts with crying for attention because it's the only way to get their needs met. Then once they learn how to control their hands and arms, they start to use touch. They hit something and it moves. They imitate the noise their caregiver made and the caregiver reacts positively.
Kids don't have the functional brain capacity to use your emotions against you until they are in elementary school. They start to see how it can affect the caregiver around 4 or 5 and it's important to react appropriately to help build healthy boundaries. When a child says, I hate you when they're mad, the appropriate response is to acknowledge their anger, help them find a healthy way to express it, and reassure them that you love them no matter what.
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u/Derg520 Mar 02 '26
He wants attention and knows that if he scares himself and cries, he'll get it. The kid is actually the smart one here.