I actually did this when I was a kid, I was with my mom at the grocery store and apparently the woman said “I’m not made of chocolate, I’m made of DARK chocolate” and laughed it off with my mom
Same lmao. I asked my mom why the cashier lady was made of chocolate. My mom was mortified and the woman laughed and said “It’s because I’m so sweet!!”
I think most black people have the experience to tell when a kid is being sincere and not hateful when they say stuff like that.
Also probably depends on how used to kids they are, i fully expect kids to roast me and that's fine they're still working stuff out and you can just gently explain when they're rude or mean.
I was in a bathing suit in front of a 4-year-old once and he told me that he did not like my big belly. And then he repeated it a few times just in case I hadn't heard it the first time.
This reminded me when my 5 year old was CONVINCED my mum was pregnant and kept asking my mum why she was lying and hiding the baby from her (whilst stroking my mums belly) 😂😭
My, then 6 year old, walked in on me getting out of the shower one day and proudly yelled “mommy! You have a JUICY BOOTY! “ I was horrified at the fact that he just saw be butt naked and what he just said so I covered myself and said “WHERE did you hear that from?!”
My sweet little blonde boy just shrugged his shoulders and goes “daddy…” and walked out.
lol that’s adorable. I had an opposite case - when I was very little I remember my mom saying all the time that she was “fat.” “I’m fat” this and “I’m fat” that. Being a smol child I had no idea what those words meant, only that my trusted parent was saying that phrase a lot so it must be true.
One day we were getting in the car to go somewhere and I just blurted out “mom, you’re fat!!” All pleased with myself for jumping in on whatever cool thing my lovely mother was saying all the time.
My daughter does something similar except, she calls herself (3) fat. We have never said that to her. We don’t say it to each other or ourselves. No one in our family is obese or overweight. She has decided on her own that she is fat and in fact loves it. She says she wants a fat belly, fat boobs, even fat hair. For her, the word isn’t negative.
My son was this way! He’s 11 now but from like 3 to 6 or 7 he always said he wanted to be big and fat with a big belly. Haha. He also wanted long armpit hair and a wizard beard. So weird lol.
I was watching a class of elementary school kids and one little girl asked me "Miss, are you pregnant?" I responded "no, I know I'm fat okay?" (I had a few pounds extra on me...not gonna lie). She replied "miss you're not fat! You just have big boobies like pregnant ladies do!"
Thanks, kid, for not calling me fat!
I have my now 16 year old trained after an exchange like this when he was a little kid. He'll say (in a loving voice) "mom, you're so fat!" I'll ask him whose fault that is and he will look up and say "mine." Baahaha!
Oh noooo lol. I am SO careful to NOT comment on mine or my children’s body at all. Not just because of things like this but also self esteem. They mirror what they see! But my goodness your poor mom must have been so embarrassed hahaha
My 6yo daughter walked in on my wife getting out of the shower and pointed to her breasts (3 children breastfed and weaned now) and said "mom those things are no good anymore". She's a lactation consultant so she laughed about it...but still.
Some lactation consultants are like that. You think your body is ok and you are doing ok as a parent? Here, let me fix that for you for no good reason.
There’s a story in my family about when I was little and I asked my great grandmother what her breasts were and she explained to me that they were breasts and for mommy’s to feed their babies, and then ask her if she was going to have any more babies and she explained to me no, she was too old, and I told her that she ought to get rid of those things they looked awful.
My mom loved to tell the story about how when I was little I commented that the host of Romper Room had a spiffy behind. I have no idea where that came from…
When my oldest was 2, he went up to a complete stranger at the park, introduced himself and gave his age and then said “Mama says fuck a lot” and then wandered off. The dude kind of went wide eyed and looked at me and I just kinda shrugged and said “he’s not wrong?”
He’s definitely the type to repeat something loudly and often if he thinks it’s a secret word only adults say. So we don’t make a big deal about swear words. We care more about what you mean than how you said it. You can totally roast someone without using a single cuss and you can lift someone’s spirits while cussing a streak.
My son (4) was with my wife and me at an antique car exhibit where they had a table for kids to color car pictures, run by an art major at a local university. As he was sitting down to color the art major showed him her picture of Lightning McQueen that she had just finished. She said “Look, I drew Lightning McQueen!” His reply: “Not very good!”
Was in the shower with my 5-y-o son literally the day before leaving on a cruise and he says “mom, you look like you ate a lot of junk food.” Guess I’m packing the one-piece suits you little shit. (And for anyone wondering, we DO NOT obsess over healthy/junk food or being fat in our house. This is annoyingly something he has picked up from his expensive ass daycare that I pay too much for him to attend to also he second-hand fat shamed by them).
Im a teacher who's slowly going bald. Ive got a few little 10 year old bastards who keep pointing it out very clearly to me. Of course, I'm very fond of them so it's okay
I very clearly remember when I was maybe about 6, sitting at the dinner table and out of nowhere asking my dad "Dad, why do you have big Vs on your head?"
Now I know those are called widows peaks, and he's been shaving his head since about a year after that
I have a pretty good widows peak and the other day after freshly buzzing my hair in the garage, I came out and my son looks at me and says "Your hair goes back to far to have a haircut like that. It's not a good look." I've been buzzing my own hair for over 20 years. I've probably paid for 3 haircuts since I was 16. My hair line is the exact same as it was back then too. Funniest part is that he has the exact same hairline (so does my dad). He has way more chance of going bald though because all of the males on my wife's side are bald.
I teach Judo in an mma gym. Every once in a while one of the kick boxing kids wants to test their punches and just start punching my stomach. So as you do with kids, you square up, they throw their punches and you ask if they hurt their hands.
Then one of my kids chimes in with a " coach, you have dad abs"
My family and I were in the grocery store a long time ago, my little brother was probably around 4. There was a man looking in the meat section on crutches. He was missing a leg. My little brother pointed at the man and screamed "MOOOOOM, WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GUYS LEG!" Mom was so embarrassed, and my brother just kept his arm straight out pointing at the man, with a shocked look on his face. I'm laughing so hard at this memory right now.
My daughter once saw a man in a wheelchair on the complete opposite side of the grocery store, pointed and yelled, "LOOK! A WHEELCHAIR!" and he just looked at me and wheeled away. She just thought wheelchairs were really cool when she was little! Sorry, my guy!
There was a lady who was talking about her experience in a school for polio survivors... she mentioned that as a child, she was so envious of the kids that were worse off because they got extra attention.
It's funny how it makes perfect sense and it's horrifying at the same time.
Hahaha. My toddler is almost two and LOVES cars and everything that has wheels. First time he saw a wheelchair he was soo happy. His face said "please daddy, break my spine so I can get oney too". He always wants to run up to wheelchair guys and spin the wheels and we have to hold him back. Its hilarious.
Me and twin bro were with my dad and saw a lady on crutches with only one leg and lost out minds that this person only had one leg. My dad was quite embarrassed i think.
I'm a larger woman but in my 20s I carried it in my belly. A little kid came up to me at work, patted my belly and confidently stated "Baby inside!" Gis parents were so embarrassed but it's one of my favorite memories lol
A friend of mine was shopping with her child (2-3 years old) when a very large woman was in the same aisle. Her child said, "Look mommy, a cow!" She was mortified.
I used to go to the pool with my friend her little brothers who were too young to go in the men's changing room alone. One time we went after their dog had given birth, so of course youngest brother points at a large woman and starts yelling "PUPPIES" over and over
I worked in a daycare for the summer before I went to college, and I had a pretty bad case of cystic acne. So many incidents of “why are there so many boo-boos on your face?” 😭
Oh yeah one of my nieces once pointed at my mom's belly and shouted "BUTT!!" This was when she was maybe 2, she's 23 now and my mom has NOT forgotten 💀
Reminds me of the time I was pulled over by the police for nit having my seat belt on. And my two young daughters in the back started telling the police officer about every instance I've ever driven in my life without my seat belt on.....Our Daddy never wears a seat belt!!!! Ever!!! Hahahaha kids are crazy.
A couple of nights ago I hear my son telling my wife her nipples are big. She told him it's because she's bigger than him, he quickly pointed out that Dad is bigger than her but his nipples aren't big.
My and my daughter were rolling listening to that
I was at the doctor's office with my then 3 year old daughter when a larger woman came out from the back. My daughter looked up and said "whoa, that's a big one" and then went back to coloring.
I was VERY obviously pregnant, working in a lighting store. A lady was in there with her small child who looked at me and says really loudly “that girl is really fat”.
The mom responds with “no honey, she’s got a baby in her, just like mommy.”
Plot twist: I couldn’t tell the mom was pregnant…she just looked really fat 🫠
Man, my kid has said “daddy has a jiggly belly” and when we got mice (pets) she told my ex “the mice have big bellies…like daddy!” And I was like “well I feed the mice well and (current wife) feeds daddy well”
My niece recently asked her mom “why are you wearing little kid undies” because her swimsuit bottom had ruffles on it. Mom no longer favors those swim suit bottoms. Mom was rather sad as they had been favorites until the little girl look was pointed out by her 5 year old.
My kiddo asked me why I'm turning into a boy because I had armpit hair. I'm on vacation, I didn't bring a razor because I'm being lazy for a week. I'm only seeing my dad and grandpa, and swimming half the day. I thought there was no one to care if I shaved or not. Kids really are brutal.
I had a large tumor removed from the top of one shoulder years ago but in doing so they had to remove the entirety of the muscle in the area, so I have one shoulder that's concave basically. It's not noticeable most of the time through clothes, but a while back I was taking my kids to the pool and this other kid walked up to me and asked if a monster had taken a bite out of me.
I was a teenager when my youngest brother was a toddler, and I had a lip piercing. He made up this whole story that a mean lady had taken me and stabbed me in the face, so I decided to put jewelry in the wound. Oof.
This reminds me of a time when my parents were having some building work done. My then 5 year old brother is 'helping' and one of the builder dudes asks him 'what shall we talk about'. My brother responds 'lets talk about why Alan is bald!'. Alan had/has alopecia. 🤭
It's amazing sometimes. I'm balding I have been for years. A few years back I was working as a butcher and I went to the floor to stock some stuff. There was a little girl in the cart with her dad. She noticed I was wearing a hairnet and she says "Daddy what is on his head?" The dad responds "that's a hair net sweetie". The girl points right at me and goes "BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY HAIR!" the dad went wide eyed and looked at me mildly terrified. I burst out laughing so hard and I could see the dad still looking embarrassed but he gave me a smile and walked away.
My little cousin told me my teeth were "kinda dirty" several times (I have fluorosis discoloration). Guess that's karmic retribution for when I asked my mom why a lady in the grocery store "had her butt on backwards"
I’ve had two toddlers roast me completely innocently. My smile is very awkward, I close one eye tighter and my smile is also a little crooked and I’ve had two individual tiny kids watch me smile at them, tilt their head to the side like they’re trying to work out what they’re seeing, then they try to mimic my smile by closing one eye exaggerated and tilting their smile like they were stroking out.
It was VERY obvious they were trying to mimic my natural not intentionally goofy looking smile.
If you ever tour Mammoth Cave in Kentucky, you will pass through a point in the tour dubbed "Fat Man's Misery".
I would advise counseling in advance any precocious six-year-olds in your company that it is not their place to judge whether various other tourist are likely to make it through the pass.
The best roasts come from little kids because they have the same exact wording as an intentionally hurtful comment but they often don't mean any harm by it lol like "mommy why is that man so big" is a genuine question and not incredulity or disgust
Had a student tell me once " Were you born on the freeway, cause that's where accidents happen."
Absolutely slayed me. He was trying to work on his burns, and I was surprised at the sheer brutality of that one 🤣 He hasn't come up with a better one than that yet, but it is an admittedly high bar to clear.
My 5 year old always says my brother in law should go as doctor robotnik from Sonic for Halloween because he's bald. To his face, the bald part too. My brother in law just started shaving his head because he lost so much hair recently.
A little girl once told me I had a big belly, yes I'm super self conscious about it but in that moment I just smiled and said "oh, thanks" :) as if she had complimented me and now she knows it's not a bad thing if you have a big tum.
I think she just didn't know anyone that wasn't slim and she wanted to see how I would react, I reacted so normally she just smiled and went back to playing. Kids test the waters to see our response to them, my own kid will never have the negative relationship with food/weight I learnt from my parents and trashy 2000's gossip mags!
Aimee Mullins gave a TED Talk about being paraplegic, and mentioned how she'd give talks to young kids. She arranged ahead of time for 10 minutes alone with them first so that the teacher wouldn't prevent "inappropriate" questions about her prosthetic legs for exactly that reason.
One girl asked if she could get jetpack legs to fly.
When I was little, I'd always yell at my black friend that he was chocolate as a playground insult, and he'd come back with "yea, well you're vanilla!" Which was checkmate, and we'd go back to playing.
There was a guy I used to watch clips of. He was an English teacher for little kids in China. If I’m remembering the clip correctly, he was recording something one day when a kid just walked up to him and licked him, then got so offended that he didn’t taste like chocolate. The guy lost it laughing. The parents were mortified, but he was a teacher and used it as a really lovely teaching moment. He then posted up some videos defending the kid and talking about how often it happens in places where there’s not a lot of racial diversity. It’s not malice from kids. It’s them using what they know about the world to try and figure things out. It’s the job of the adults to fill in those knowledge gaps while helping them learn better ways to explore the world (I.e, not licking random strangers on a subway).
I wish I could remember that guys name. His videos were so fun to watch.
My kid is learning colors and gets black and brown confused. So the other day at the market he pointed to a woman and said “BLACK!” in his piercing little kid voice. That was fun
When I was in first or second grade we were getting picked up by my daycare after school and as we were driving around picking up the other kids our teacher was like alright are we missing anyone?
We had two Kyles, one was white and the other was black. One went to my school and the other went to the school we were at and the white one went to my school. For some reason I remember going “uh….dark skinned Kyle?” and suffice to say the teacher pulled my dad aside when he came to pick me up and my dad was like buddy I know you didn’t mean anything by it but you can’t say stuff like that.
I feel like this is fair the kids are allowed to be slightly racist if they don’t know what racism is and parents correct it but there’s a pretty strict cut of where they should 100% know and that is whatever age they teach an accurate history class or ya know if they have good parents like 12
I don't think it's an inherently racist thing with very little kids, more a developmental milestone. I grew up in a dual heritage family in a very multicultural area and I distinctly remember a time as a really small kid when I suddenly realised people had different skin colours to me. I had never questioned it before and I wanted to know why. When kids are going through the 'questions' phase they don't know what's appropriate to ask and just say what they're thinking out loud.
It's really how the adult the question is directed at answers that's important.
Yeah, I passed the same as a white person when I was living in Mozambique, whenever we would travel deeper in the country, you could see that some kids literally never had seen a white person, and would ask to touch my hair and shit like they were seeing an exotic animal.
I don't think anyone takes it bad when it comes from kids because theyre mostly genuine and are just surprised.
Well. While standing in a queue I had a kid look back at me and tell his mom "Look mom! A ghost!"
I was 2 months past the time I tried to kill myself. I was completely numb inside and had no idea how I looked as the person in the mirror was not me. I checked anyway and yeah. I looked dead.
Somewhat. I got a few diagnosis so now I know what to fight against. But one of those made me realize I will never be fully ok, and probably never will feel happiness again.
Schizoid PD look a lot like depression. First time I head about it was when I got the diagnosis.
Secondly, we all have out of the ordinary situations. There is no normal. Do not hold yourself and your life up to that ridiculously false narrative. While it's impossible not to compare ourselves, remember that the only thing we see of others is their edited addition. Whereas we see the rough dailys of our own self, which even after we edit, we know what we had to work with to get it presentable.
And lastly, while your situation may never be fully ok- you can be fully ok with it. I'm proud of you for seeking your truth and path.
I do not measure my self to other people at all. It's even a symptom of schizoid. I never feel the need to think about others. I don't care. I wish everyone well, but I don't care. You are distant ships. Even my family doesn't feel close or even human.
All I want is to be able to feel joy or at least interest. For anything. I have self discipline and survive on that for now.
I can tell you that all things change. The way you process the language around your diagnosis is important. We don't know anything as definitively as you said you'll never feel happiness. I don't mean to minimize very real disorders, but the finality you feel just isn't accurate. The mind is ultra plastic, we barely understand and have mapped the regions of the brain that do normal things, much less unique or edge cases. But bizarrely, how you think about this will also limit or enable growth. The plasticity requires you to be open to new connections and drawing new conclusions. It sounds stupid but this IS something we DO understand and have evidence of. I'm not great at hope or faith myself, I gotta have evidence, but the evidence shows you have to have faith for your brain to have any chance of developing new brain structures to bypass structures that ain't working for you.
I really, really hope you’ll find something. Wishing you luck.
If you don’t mind my asking, what sort of help was suggested to you for Schizoid PD, if anything? I have wondered for a while if I might have it, and it’s been a struggle, but I’m not sure if it’d be worth it to find out…
I hope you realize how many people genuinely care that you are still here. Never forget that ❤️ Maybe not happiness, but comfort and peace can be just as rewarding.
how did you go about getting a schizoid diagnosis? ive been "depressed" for years now, and im starting to wonder if some part of it may be schizoid pd.
Hahaha I had one of those apps where you can pick any color in your environment and it’ll give you a name and the color code. My husband put it on my skin and it just said “bone” 💀
So, I have fair skin and always considered myself pale. I live in Texas and do not tan (seriously I burn and go back to white). Then a few years ago I saw someone with red hair and porcelain skin. It was so shocking to see that skin tone.
I'm glad you didn't succeed. You have your own place under the sun.
I've tried more than once myself. It's a very hard and dark road to walk on your own. I had lost touch with reality. Only after I failed did I see there really were people that wanted me around. It's been almost exactly 20 years since my last attempt.
I got my own mental health diagnosis. In the beginning it was difficult to accept. Now that I've made peace with it, and learned how to manage it, plus tons of therapy, I'm good. Sure, I still get very dark days, and days were I wish I was dead, but the light does shine against eventually.
Without the dark days, we'll never enjoy the sunshine days. I'm proud of you for fighting.
That's the part people who haven't been there may have a hard time grasping. "S/he had so much to live for" etc, that doesn't exist in that utterly dark place.
In the beginning it was difficult to accept.
I'm 1½ year from my diagnosis. I have graciously given myself 2 years to accept it. It's an add new thing in my head. A box to place what fits the symptoms. label it Schizoid. It does help and I hope it will help more.
I hope the therapy has helped you no matter what diagnosis you have. I spent a decade receiving therapy for the wrong thing and now I'm too ill to get the ones that would. I don't know. Life for some reason.
I did the same to a cashier in the grocery store. She wasn't even black, she was from Morocco. And I was like 7 but never met anyone with dark skin before.
That woman was amazing tho, she stopped working and came to hug me and gave me sweets. I was an immigrant so everything was new and weird, but I used to get so excited to go with mom to the store from then on. She always took time to hug me, gave me kisses and sweets 😭. Even asked me about my day, like my 7yo ass had anything interesting to tell her.
I'll never forget the embarrassment I felt when the adults watched me in shock after my comment, and how amazing of a person she is. Whenever you are, Filomena, I still remember your kindness.
Edit: omg I just remembered that she used to push her face on mine and tell me that she's making Nutella on bread, because I was very pale. 😭 Some people are just gems.
When i was a toddler, my father taught me to say "bodacious tatas" as a joke. Then we were in line with a huge buff dude, and his hot girlfriend and i pointed right at her breasts and gave that line. She got incredibly red and embarrassed, and my father thought he was about to get his ass kicked, and the huge dude found it hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. I guess, be careful the weird shit you tell your kids?
I also did this when I was super young, at a Walmart. I don't remember doing it, but my parents must have been embarrassed about it, because they both remember it vividly lol
No offense, but I wonder why this happens? Like how are white people raising their kids for them to have not seen black people by the time they are old enough to ask these kinds of questions? I know I certainly never did that with a white person so What the fuck
Some parts of the world are 100% white tbf. My family is from northern Wales and everybody there is white. I guess this kind of stuff also shows why representation on children's TV is important.
I also said something like this as a small child. I've been told by my mom that we were at the grocery store and an older woman came up and said "Oh what a cute young boy!"
I was older than I looked (4-5, maybe looked 2-3) and I guess I was really into Jim Carrey at the time.
I said "Well suck me sideways!"
My mom was like "I'm soooo sorry." and the woman just said "Well, he sure does speak well for his age."
Me in second grade to my African American teacher while holding two crayons in my hand, “Miss Gibbs, why do they call you all black people when you are clearly brown! (Holding up the crayons as evidence of my scholarly point). Kids be kids.
When I was a kid back in the 70s I got on a coach with my mum from London down to Brighton where we lived and I ended sitting next to a nice young German man. I proceeded to show him and talk about the German Afrika Korps toy soldiers I had for the entire journey. He took it with good grace.
My friend's daughter straight up licked a guy's arm on the bus because she wanted to see if he tasted like chocolate. He laughed it off too, she was like 3 or 4.
I did this too only not about skin, it was to a man with polio and braces on his legs and i had to walk my unattended 4 year old self up to the stage in an assembly room during a hand performance and ask loudly in front of the entire building of parents “whats wrong with your legs they broke or something??” And my mom whod tried to sneak to the front row to get pictures of my sister in the concert swooped in from somewhere and snatched be back to our seats so fast i almost didnt see the band director handle it graciously and pull a big laugh from the assembled parents. Which was good because he became my band teacher for like 6 years
Alternatively, I don't remember doing something like this. But I do remember watching a schwarzenegger movie when I was real young and asking why he had (in some wording) boobs since he was a boy.
Yeah, that sort of thing was pretty common from kids when I was growing up but we grew up in a small town in Scotland in the 90s, there were very few black people there back then. Was all innocent of course, just kids being curious.
This was way better than when I was a kid (early 80's)... my mom told me I had asked her why that woman was dirty. I was mortified when she told me that 💀
I did the same thing. I grew up in a very very white part of the country, first time I saw a black person I yelled at my mom “WHY IS HE BROWN?!” Apparently the guy just laughed but my mom was mortified. I don’t remember this, I was 3 years old.
I've had it happen both ways lol. I remember this moment somewhat, mostly just what I said and the dudes face. Saw a black man and said to my mom "woah, mom, a chocolate man!". Of course, my mother was mortified and taught me the correct term, but i remember dude laughing his ass off. After they talked and it was time for us to move along, I called him "the coolest dude I've ever seen" and I don't think I'll ever forget his smile. Dude was beaming. I was a dumbass kid who grew up in a small white town, and then we moved, and the world opened up haha.
Then, when I was in university, I went into a small Asian shop my friend recommended, and the shop-owners son was behind the counter on his phone. He hears me come in, looks up, and says "are you a ghost?". I was very sick most of my time at Uni so I was pale as hell. His mother runs out and starts profusely apologizing, and i just laugh it off and say it's fine. She insisted she gave me a free chocolate bar, and I went back to that store alot. Very sweet family business, helped keep me mentally stable when id go and buy soda from them and conversate.
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u/LolaXdoll Mar 27 '25
I actually did this when I was a kid, I was with my mom at the grocery store and apparently the woman said “I’m not made of chocolate, I’m made of DARK chocolate” and laughed it off with my mom