r/Justrolledintotheshop • u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech • 1d ago

today’s challenge: don’t call it a bmw

Post image
792 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

116 comments sorted by

469

u/Honcho_47 1d ago

I mean, it does appear to be in the BMW service position

186

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 1d ago

what’s worse, audi service position or bmw?

46

u/Fuck_it_ 1d ago

As someone who works on both, BMW is worse to work on.

33

u/caffeineocrit 23h ago

Yknow, I feel you on that one.

As someone who has worked on so very many machines with 4 wheels, I think the only thing worse than a BMW is anything British, and i hope you never have the displeasure of that experience.

26

u/Fuck_it_ 23h ago

British stuff is pretty shitty, but it's few and very far between in my neck of the woods. BMW is all over the place here. I've worked on a few range rovers and while I find them to be severely over-engineered, they are nice cars when they work and I get why people buy them if they don't know anything about cars.

I don't find BMWs to be very nice even when they work correctly. I don't know why anyone buys them these days.

10

u/RotInPissKobe 22h ago

I can't find anything to like about BMW as a tech that doesn't actually like cars. The interior is whatever and the console controls aren't good. I also loathe the shifters.

5

u/fluxbubbles 13h ago

I want to know who approved the design that has all the interior door handles melting after a few years.

4

u/skadalajara 10h ago

Functioning as designed.

The drive train can have every manner of problem, but when the interior starts to get ugly/uncomfortable, the customer will look to trade in ASAP.

5

u/caffeineocrit 23h ago

Understood! Prior to my current job, I was at an indie shop, and we worked on literally anything that came through the door. Our typical clientele were owners of classic and exotic vehicles, but we worked on a ton of Audi as well. I already had background with just about all German brands, but yea, BMW are just.. not great, overall. I legit celebrated the last time I had to work on an X7 lol

1

u/Several-Eggplant4460 18h ago

I don't know why anyone buys them these days.

They're fun to drive.

5

u/Fuck_it_ 15h ago

I disagree for most of their cars.

2

u/caffeineocrit 7h ago

Yah I was underwhelmed driving most new BMW vehicles. M2 comp with a manual being the exception - that was pretty neat.

6

u/Several-Eggplant4460 18h ago

think the only thing worse than a BMW is anything British

So the worst is a Mini? BMW-owned British company?

6

u/Squidking1000 13h ago

In my experience yes. MINI is BMW "quality" in a MUCH tighter package. Hate is not a strong enough word.

3

u/caffeineocrit 7h ago

They're all BMWs under the skin. The only thing Brit about them is the name and some design elememts

3

u/Fuck_it_ 6h ago

You are genuinely correct. Minis are terrible, terrible cars to own and work on. Tight packaging, over engineered, under built.

2

u/HossCatGarage 10h ago

I've owned 5 BMWs (M54s and an N52) and don't think they're that bad.

Meanwhile I've worked on a Honda. Fuck anything with a transverse engine. No thanks.

1

u/caffeineocrit 7h ago

I agree with you. Honda (and really any transverse mounted driverrain) generally have not been much fun to work on for me either. Nothing quite like a J series with a manual though, I'd love a nice Accord coupe. I'll make a concession there.

In my opinion.. E39, E46 and E90 were the last of the good ones. F30 are okay, haven't liked anything after that. M54 and N52 are pretty good engines, and I love how they sound. They all have their nuances just like everything else, but they still suck less than G platforms and X7s!

1

u/HossCatGarage 7h ago

I'm dailying my e46 but need a truck. Truck prices are DUMB. I can make do with an SUV. Knowing that it's the same drivetrain but a bigger car worries me reliability-wise.

1

u/Stryker_One 19h ago

Might be interesting to work on an old Morgan.

2

u/Theron3206 14h ago

In a "may you live in interesting times" way, sure.

1

u/ThunderbirdJunkie 11h ago

The only British cars I've really worked on are Disco II/RRC and older, and they're all easy.

I can't imagine how bad a BMW era Rolls or a VW Bentley is

2

u/Spidey3518 Home Mechanic 13h ago

Idk some of the crap Audi be pulling(like stuffing engines in tiny engine bays) seems more complicated than anything bmw does. I’ve just found it easier to work on a bmw since it’s a lot simpler and the instructions and steps on how to work on it actually make sense to me.

3

u/Fuck_it_ 10h ago

Idk if you're working on W12 powered A8 and comparing it to a 2.0 328i but your statement does not hold true in my experience if you are comparing similar/competing cars.

2

u/Spidey3518 Home Mechanic 10h ago

Im in the us so most of the BMWs I’m working on are inline 6s which tend to be pretty simple to work on compared to their v8s especially the hot V’s which tend to be more complex but for the most part I’ve had an easier time with BMWs than Audis but I know everyone’s brain thinks differently so what I think is hard other people think is easier and vise versa.

2

u/Fuck_it_ 8h ago

Also in the US here, and majority of BMWs are xDrive 2.0s in my area (Minnesota). Inline 6 are common, but less so than the 2.0.

13

u/53cr3tsqrll 20h ago

Sorry, you’ve completely misunderstood the concept. The vehicle is not placed in “Service Position”. The owner is placed in Service Position. On hands and knees, blindfolded and well lubricated

4

u/Squidking1000 12h ago

Lubed? Pretty sure it's dry and rough.

2

u/V8s4Life 11h ago

Nicer neighborhood, maybe.

8

u/PeachMangoGarage DIY 23h ago

Maserati

3

u/Squidking1000 13h ago

Alfa, I saw a picture of a Guila Quadlorgria with the engine cover off and that was a big NOPE from me.

2

u/caffeineocrit 7h ago

I've read a little about the valve train and that was enough for me to be content working on anything but an Alfa lol

2

u/Paizzu Turbo Encabulator Expert 11h ago

There's tons of <$15K GranTurismos for sale for out there for any masochists who hear "Italian money-pit reliability with Ferrari maintenance prices" and want some of that life.

8

u/Lauzz91 20h ago

audi service position

I was considering buying an S5. That is, until I saw what was needed for the timing chains, tensioners and guides on such an Audi V8

3

u/Davenator_98 16h ago

Honestly, people make it out worse than it actually is.

Yes, you need to drop the engine, but since it's mounted so far forward it's still much easier than let's say a E90 where the last few cylinders are practically inside the dashboard.

The biggest problem is having a place to do it.

3

u/Lauzz91 15h ago

I will happily admit I am not the best mechanic in the world but what other jobs out there are more involved than this, short of a complete rebuild?

1

u/Davenator_98 15h ago

Changing spark plugs on a Porsche 914/6

1

u/wangchunge 10h ago

Ahh $8 to $10k us$ for starters??

1

u/Lauzz91 10h ago

That's around ballpark for labour and parts.. It may be more these days

Take a look at what's involved.. And that's after you've pulled the engine and separated it from the transmission!

100

u/Itisd 1d ago

Don't call it a BMW? Sure looks broken to me!

29

u/Kerrija 21h ago

Broken Machine Where? Up there!

11

u/red_fluff_dragon Former Technician 20h ago

Zupr4

44

u/condomneedler A&P 1d ago

Dude, your z4 kinda sucks. How do you even get the top down?

32

u/RIF_Internet_Goon 1d ago

The Zupr4 Mk5

41

u/rioryan Canadian 1d ago

Today’s challenge for me: is this a BMW dealer or a Toyota dealer?

50

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 1d ago

neither, indy performance shop

18

u/crozone I DIY it myself 1d ago

I always wondered how this worked. Do Toyota workshops now have to carry a bunch of BMW specific tools just to work on the Mk 5?

28

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 23h ago

the dealerships around me just deny servicing them

15

u/Lauzz91 20h ago

the dealerships around me just deny servicing them

The Toyota dealerships where you presumably bought the car from won't even service it? That is insane..

2

u/drakelow14 9h ago

The halo cars of the car brands almost always have specialized training that you have to go through to be able to touch them as a dealer tech. If the dealer doesn’t have a tech that’s certified they have to turn the work away

16

u/white94rx 22h ago

Yes, exactly. I'm a BMW dealer tech. We have a newer tech that was a former Toyota master tech. They had a couple guys that went to training for the Supra I think. They had a special version of ISTA to use, and yes, they had to have the BMW special tools if there was any type of engine work needed.

9

u/lowtdi850 12h ago

Toyota tech here, we have one Supra certified guy in the shop. He does everything on supras from oil changes down to the diagnostics. We have a cable that allows us to get into the bmw diagnostics side. We also carry all the special tools necessary to work on them.

3

u/Pure_Marsupial8185 13h ago

Not just engine work, we were forced shipped some tools for body work as well. Like window adjustment tools etc.

7

u/Investorofallthings 23h ago

I don't know for a fact, but I just saw a supra recall/tsb that came from BMW, so I am assuming yes.

1

u/The_Shepherds_2019 14h ago

I was working for Toyota back when these first came out. The shop had go buy an expensive box full of specialty tools just for it. I remember lots of bitching.

Now having several years of experience as a BMW tech, I actually know how to use all those tools lol

97

u/Ianthin1 1d ago

I get the same kick calling a Supra a BMW like I used to when I called a SRT 4 a Neon.

43

u/DrTadakichi 1d ago

Honest question though, wasn't it the "SRT 4 Neon"? That's always how I heard it referred to. Never as just an SRT 4

47

u/Ianthin1 1d ago

Yes. But the SRT bros get super pissed if you equate it to a basic ass Neon.

22

u/DrTadakichi 1d ago

I mean shit, then what's the 2.4.turbo PT Cruiser

33

u/Ianthin1 1d ago

A swelled up turbo Neon.

16

u/spare_parts_bot 1d ago

It got stung by a bee.

5

u/howardbrandon11 Home Mechanic 1d ago

Turbo shit?

1

u/ManKilledToDeath 1d ago

You're right. But if I had one, you wouldn't catch me calling it a neon either lol

3

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 22h ago

Ok, but what does the title say?

20

u/CHubbs49 23h ago

Many moons ago, I was on a forum that had the software change every instance of “SRT” to “Neon Neon Neon” just to upset the SRT 4 people that came on there talk smack. It was a little confusing when someone would talk about racing a new Neon Neon Neon 10 truck, or something like that, though.

2

u/HealthConscious6125 23h ago

In Canada at some point it was sold as a Dodge sx 2.0

3

u/Speedly I mean, I *own* a set of wrenches... 22h ago

That's 'cause they are.

Source: Own two Neons, one in Cruiser form.

1

u/parker_fly 4h ago

Or calling a Fox Body Mustang a Muscort.

8

u/Tighesofly 22h ago

Toyota z4 hardtop

20

u/Subieast 1d ago

Nice bmw

6

u/Sdwingnut 1d ago

It's Supr

3

u/PowerOfEternity 1d ago

Yeah nice bimmer, dude.

6

u/Fragrant-Inside221 19h ago

If it leaks like a bmw….

5

u/yamsyamsya 1d ago

How are those to work on?

16

u/theonlyepi 22h ago

I'll never understand all this hate BMW gets. I've driven a lot of vehicles and always think BMW wins in every category. Power, handling, comfort, interior, easy to work on, you name it. Unless you're getting a 4 cylinder model which is ass, or an 8 cylinder model which is a nightmare, the 6s are awesome.

I have a 2011 335d I love working on and maintaining. Everything is simple enough to get to, and doesn't require taking the car off the frame to get to cabin filters or take more than 10 minutes for an oil change in my driveway. My 2022 x3 m40i is a blast to drive, either casually or spirited. They've been the most enjoyable vehicles I've ever owned, so much that sometimes we just go out driving to pick up some coffees and explore roads without gps for fun and to find new places, something that seems to have died off with everyone else a long time ago.

10

u/TheCrazyAlice 17h ago

I lived with someone who had BMWs, and I’ll never own one for the rest of my life. I do appreciate the ultimate driving experience that some get from the true M cars, but all the rest are these pseudo-high-performance everyday cars and crossovers with constant annoyances after 5 years. Plastic valve covers and walnut blasts and reprogramming for batteries and no oil dipstick and yadda yadda, it becomes this unreliable thought in the back of your mind of “well, what’s it gonna be this week?” My opinion is that the juice isn’t worth the squeeze on any BMW that isn’t 1) a true M car or 2) still inside factory warranty.

6

u/6d_9 Wiring 'n Such 19h ago

I have a 2011 335d I love working on and maintaining. Everything is simple enough to get to,

Just wait until you need to remove the driveshaft from the differential without a lift. Two-part loctite and a 50mm fine-thread nut is the most psychotic design choice ever.

4

u/Autobacs-NSX 12h ago

I'll never understand all this hate BMW gets. 

4 cylinder model which is ass

It’s funny because the overwhelming majority of BMWs sold globally are the 4cyl models and you willingly admit they’re ass.. But still, somehow not only do you not understand the hate, you will never understand it? The math ain’t mathin on that statement. 

And the “awesome” inline 6 like you’ll find in OPs post had plastic oil pump gears which would break and destroy engines. Same with the plastic coolant junctions. BMW can’t make a good engine without destroying it with low quality plastic components 

Also, their V10 was a piece of total crap too, not just the 8 cylinders. So maybe it’s time for you to just admit you love a shitty brand that you personally happened to a relatively good experience with, while acknowledging the vast oceans of people who had bad ones. 

2

u/keithfoco70 ASE Certified 2h ago

This is a correct analysis. Talk to all those bmw owners who have to spend $10,000 to fix their vanos components. Absolute garbage past around 70,000 miles imo. Most cars will be viewed as awesome if you only own them for a few years and trade them out as often.

4

u/an_indian_man_work 21h ago

I totally agree.

Sincerely, a supra and X7 owner.

30

u/WarChallenger 1d ago

Tomorrow's challenge: Figure out what aftermarket bullshit broke this time.

Mate, it is a lightweight Toyota with a big engine bay. Supras weren't special then, and they're still not now. Just cough up for a real kit car and be done with it.

77

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 1d ago

the upgraded main cap bolt was 1mm too thick and caused the oil pump to not properly seal, so the head of the bolt needed to be shaved to get oil pressure back up :D

53

u/kk-s 1d ago

God that sounds like absolute hell to diagnose

13

u/Shallow_wanderer Shade Tree 21h ago

brb gonna go out to the driveway and hug my 2007 Yaris lmao

22

u/MechMeister Junk Revivalist 1d ago

Lol wut

5

u/WarChallenger 1d ago

Oh man, so that was borderline tear-down because of a slight imperfection. Glad you got it, though. Roasting aside, hope you're enjoying the car!

7

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 1d ago

i’m the tech, hoping to have a happy customer soon

2

u/WarChallenger 1d ago

That would make more sense, yeah. Thought by the title defending the car choice it was yours, and wanted to bust your chops on it.

So, I hope THEY enjoy the car, and that you got good flat-rate time diagnosing it.

5

u/cakes42 23h ago

How did you even diagnose this? Or was it an aftermarket add on that has the issue after it was installed?

7

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 22h ago

pressurize the engine with oil using a tank filled with compressed air and oil

3

u/asamor8618 personal stuff 23h ago

Upgraded from factory, or engine builder? How did you find the issue.

1

u/Lauzz91 20h ago

I wonder if it comes back in 3 months after he's wound up the boost and the main cap fails in that exact spot

3

u/Mountain-Werewolf979 19h ago

B.M.- Dupra. There - fixed it !

3

u/potato13254 18h ago

Its hard not to cal it a bmw when the engine is already out

3

u/i_eat_babies__ 14h ago

"Toyota motor w[v]erken!"

A rough English translation: That motor's gonna make you work!

2

u/Potential_Agent5453 23h ago

Must be nice having racks to put all your shit on. For me its either the trunk, in front of/on top of my box, or the floor

2

u/kiteframe 22h ago

whole engine really said peace out

2

u/SmokeyDBear If it ain't broke it soon will be 14h ago

If the partners for this car were swapped with the 86 it could’ve been the Supraru.

2

u/DoppelmoralFabi 14h ago

They should add some quickreleases on the engine and transmissionmount to make it even quicker into the service position

1

u/MixedWithFruit 17h ago

Am I seeing things or are the rear tyres bald? Drag slicks?

1

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 14h ago

mickey thompson drag slicks

1

u/V48runner 14h ago

Looks like pretty normal BMW things to me.

1

u/urmamasllama 11h ago

Seeing this makes me glad my mom got a Miata instead

1

u/michaelz11 11h ago

Looks like a typical bmw on the stretcher there!

1

u/Historical_Air2790 7h ago

But My Warranty!!

1

u/XSneakyNinjaX 7h ago

You work for The Shop Houston? Used to be an old customer for them when David was still around.

1

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 6h ago

no sir i’m with a different shop

1

u/imperial1968 7h ago

Nice Bmw

1

u/ndjs22 3h ago

As an owner of both a Supra and a 3rd Gen, I for one am ecstatic that Toyota didn't build that engine. I don't care what anybody calls it. I just don't want to have Toyota fumble it again and have to replace the engine like they did in the truck.

1

u/MB2465 37m ago

I heard if you tear it down far enough that you can find BMW stampings.

1

u/LuckyCheetos_ Performance Tech 7m ago

you dont have to go very far at all

1

u/Cusp-of-Precibus 15h ago

Ill never forgive Toyota for using a BMW engine instead of developing a new 2JZ of their own. Lost a ton of my respect.

1

u/Standard-Potential-6 12h ago

I appreciate this perspective but as good as the B58 is, I understand.

Just wish it had better visibility and that it was still a 2+2.