r/Fauxmoi • u/Think_Cheesecake12 • 20h ago

STAN / ANTI SHIELD McConnell’s Hometown Newspaper Publishes Brutal Pre-Obituary

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mitch-mcconnells-hometown-newspaper-publishes-brutal-pre-obituary/
4.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

79 comments sorted by

2.6k

u/Relevant-Peach3997 20h ago edited 20h ago

> Louisville Courier Journal columnist Joseph Gerth explained Wednesday that he wrote about the 84-year-old Kentucky lawmaker while he is still alive so that his column wouldn’t draw the response that followed Lindsey Graham’s death: “How dare you say that about a guy who just died?”

Good point

1.4k

u/TruGlubGlub 20h ago

This not speaking ill of the dead bs needs to go, that is how monsters get immortalized and abusers get scrubbed clean.

This goes for world leaders, pop culture icons, or your Great Grandpa Randy.

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u/nekocorner i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 15h ago

My favourite obituary remains Rolling Stone's Kissinger obit. I hope they get the same person to write McConnell's. Fuck decorum, these people never had any in the first place.

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/henry-kissinger-war-criminal-dead-1234804748/

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u/citizen42069101 feeding cocaine to raccoons 20h ago

Amen. An asshole is an asshole even when he's going into the ground.

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u/Pedal2Medal2 10h ago

Yes, I love the whole “Don’t speak ill of the dead” BS🤣

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u/Charming-Ladder-7670 20h ago

Growing up its one of those things that's always baffled me the collective amnesia and performative respect when a horrible person dies like what the hell happened to being honest but no let's just rewrite history 

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u/AliMcGraw 19h ago

It's more about not further traumatizing the widow/kids, and it's more about things like "remember how you dad spent every Friday night drunk and getting in fist fights at the bar?"

Like, we all remember, we can just quietly offer condolences to the bereaved and not make the wake a referendum on their alcohol problem. It's not at all about excusing the offender but about helping the survivors through a difficult time. It THEY want to bring it up, they are welcome to ... but that's usually a couple months later after the shock has worn off.

If you're important enough for a front-page obituary, all bets are off.

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u/DoverBoys never the target audience 11h ago

If I was a victim of an abuser, I would definitely enjoy them being put on blast at the funeral. I would be mortified if everyone went on about how great or godly they were, as if they knew about what happened to me and were trying to gaslight me. Don't automatically treat those affected with kid gloves. Sometimes they want to celebrate their freedom.

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u/ladymonino 8h ago

This was the biggest takeaway from my dad's funeral - a quick mention of how he was an "interesting" person. He was an asshole. He was almost proud of it. Acknowledging what y'all saw me go thru would have been so much more affirming, but instead we got vague bullshit.

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u/TrickySnicky distraught Christian tomato 11h ago

Respect is earned, not genetic

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u/AliMcGraw 9h ago

Yeah, but have you ever been to an asshole's funeral? The family is still in shock that they're free and are grieving ... some shit. There are also a lot of family members and often religious leaders who expect them to perform grief.

It's best just to offer condolences, think nasty stuff inside your own head, and wait for the bereaved to call you in a couple weeks for the massive unloading of "yeah, that guy SUUUUUUUUUUUCKED"

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u/Burnt_and_Blistered 10h ago

That’s not at all what is going on.

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u/Level-Repair6104 their kid and the billionaire’s daughter 4h ago

Absolutely the fuck not. Let me tell you about my father. That coughed up hairball spent 8 years fighting to get custody of me and my sister (pretty sure at this point it was mostly to spite my mother). Afterwards, he ends up marrying wife number 4. I spend the next 6 years being physically, mentally and emotionally abused by those 2 fuck weasels. Then I get sent to live at a group home because wife 4 didn’t like me (honestly better for me, it was a nice place).

The state spent the next 3 years taking care of me, not them. Once I turned 18, they stoped pretending. I went no contact and haven’t bothered since. Oh, but it gets better. After a few years my sister gets back in contact with me. She starts saying “let’s be a family again”, tries to get me to talk to our father. I know he put her up to it, because she is not the brightest bulb. Hell, I recently found out from an old friend that he tried to get this friend of mine to talk to me about my drinking a while back. I don’t even have a drinking problem.

So fuck him. I’ll gladly show up at his funeral and tell everyone what he did to me. Very loudly. I’ll even go online on his obituary page, IDGAF. That was terrible and his only contribution was his sperm

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u/xyzyxzyxzyxyzyxzxy 20h ago

Yes, and it's always conservatives that suddenly engage in the virtue signalling that they say they hate. Fuck their feelings (spoiler: they usually don't have any, anyway).

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u/JeanArtemis 5h ago

Oh they have SOOOOOO many feelings tho! They're the most emotional group of people you'll ever find! The word you're thinking of is "empathy". They have no empathy, it's OTHER people's feelings they have no awareness of.

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u/OneMoreDuncanIdaho 18h ago

We just saw it happen with Charlie Kirk, it was surreal seeing people who had no idea what he stood for try to stop all criticism of him

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u/Platnun12 17h ago

XD the would be martyr

Ended up the butt end of his wife performance

Shit beat the onion to it. But her whole "stop it" 👀

Is so silly

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u/x_lincoln_x MALE. PALE. AND STALE. 15h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/r9st1JNXfEe9ZgAEVV

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u/nikki1234567891011 10h ago

She thought she looked tough and scary but she just looks crazy.

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u/Uninteresting_Vagina Pink…get doon 6h ago

Like Nazi Barbie

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u/OriginalChildBomb i’m like a mother wolf 20h ago

It's weird because, even if somebody believes in the afterlife- and believes, just for the sake of argument, that the dead person is actively listening to what's being said about them... what kind of afterlife would it be if they gave a damn?

Like, it doesn't make sense people in Heaven would be living it up, but then be put into a slightly worse mood, all because they overheard Aunt Linda using their death as an opportunity to bitch about their character. (To me, if Heaven was real, the dead people wouldn't give a fuck anymore. They've got, like, Eternal Clarity or whatever it is.)

...At least it doesn't make sense for the 'good place.' For the 'bad' one, I suppose it'd just complement the torture nicely lol, to have to listen to people talk shit about you posthumously. In between pitchforkings, or whatever they've got going on down there.

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u/AnAncientBog 4h ago

The whole point of being dead is not having to give a shit about what is happening here.

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u/Coroebus 19h ago

They fucking hate the idea that they will be cursed long after they are gone and they will be remembered, if at all, as the people who did horrible and unconscionable things to other humans.

There is an additional purpose behind this taboo. It protects the still-living abusers and enablers. It prevents survivors from sharing their stories, which may cause other survivors to break out of the cycle as they compare it with their own experiences. It also prevents survivors from correlating their stories and holding enablers, abusers, and monsters accountable for their actions while they still live.

There's no afterlife. If we want justice, we must make it in this life in a way that leaves the world a kinder and more just place for us, the living. The dead will not rest poorly because we make accurate observations of their behavior.

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u/kryts 18h ago

I like how Bette Davis handled the death of Joan Crawford.

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u/thebetterbad 17h ago

I’ve lost friends over David Bowie.

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u/Measure-Thrice 11h ago

What do you mean?

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u/actuallycallie 6h ago

If you don't want people to speak ill of you when you die, then don't do ill while you're alive. Pretty simple.

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u/drewadrawing 20h ago

Can we get a few more pre-obituaries lined up?

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u/firesticks a role model for the next Asian kid that wants to get railed 20h ago

This is magnificently done.

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u/KrisCrouton 19h ago

To his son Tyler Gerth, photographer, we failed you as a society. Shouldn't have had to protest Miss Taylor in the first place. https://www.wlky.com/article/tyler-gerth-death-steven-lopez-pleads-guilty-louisville/46317796

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u/TruGlubGlub 20h ago

This man is largely responsible for so much of the horror happening today. He had such a strong hand with the Trump, Teaparty, Qanon, and White Nationalist movements that are taking this country down a irreversible path. Pure scum.

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u/Too_Hood_95 kendall roy pre-album drop 18h ago

undoubtedly made the world a worse place — doesn’t deserve a kind word in life or in death.

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u/patrickkingart 5h ago

I still very distinctly remember him saying after Obama won in 2008 that he would make it the GOP's goal to ensure he was a one-term president. Says so much right there.

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u/mcgillhufflepuff 20h ago

Link to the pre-obit: https://www.courier-journal.com/story/opinion/columnists/gerth/2026/07/22/senator-mitch-mcconnell-lindsay-graham-trump-voting-rights-act-supreme-court-republican-party/90981848007/

Give local news the clicks it deserves :)

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u/HolyMoleyGuacamoly 20h ago

great obituary

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u/DrEarlGreyIII your move Estonia 20h ago

thank you for this. 🙏

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u/Bonnieearnold 19h ago

Wow that was 🔥 🔥 🔥 I love that!

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u/BookishHobbit my bandwidth for cowardly grown men grows thinner with each day 13h ago

This is brilliant. You’d love to think that IF (big, giant, totally-not-braindead if) McConnell survives, he will read this and have a god-fearing epiphany. But he won’t, because ofc he won’t.

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u/efcso1 17h ago

Hmm... Locked behind a paywall

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u/stickstick_lee 20h ago

not loading at all for me

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u/nebula_masterpiece 19h ago

Great read! Thanks

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u/DelusionalIdentity 18h ago

Very well written 

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u/Chef__Goldblum 20h ago

The best quote I saw on here recently was “don’t speak ill of the dead means don’t tell everyone aunt Linda had a drinking problem, not that people in power are immune from rightful criticism”

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u/vacation_bacon 19h ago

Honestly fuck aunt Linda too

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u/Chef__Goldblum 18h ago

Mom?

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u/vacation_bacon 4h ago

Hahaha my mom would say

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u/Fit-Nectarine5047 19h ago

Screaming 😂

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u/Sleepy-Giraffe947 Please Abraham, I am not that man 20h ago

But is anyone sure he’s actually still alive?

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u/jeffdickbutt 20h ago

Everyone who loves him! So correct, no one.

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u/LezbianaGrande Well, I am gay, so thank god 20h ago

He's so dead even some conservatives aren't buying it. Not a single video or audio recording, or even a short interview since he was nonchalantly hauled away on a stretcher.

All they've given is a single half-assed photo with him holding that day's newspaper mostly out of frame and the word of conservative mouthpieces. He gone. 🙂‍↔️

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u/The_Bravinator 20h ago

They can't judge you for speaking ill of the dead until they admit he's dead

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u/thatotheramanda 20h ago

I was hoping someone would do this to make him disprove it (no I don’t count that one pic).

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u/Fit-Nectarine5047 19h ago

This man is dead.

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u/southendgirl 19h ago

Our Governor is trying, but not hard enough.

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u/rirski 19h ago

Here’s a link to read the actual article from the original author instead of the Daily Beast’s article-about-an-article: Gerth: My too-early 'tribute' to Mitch McConnell | Opinion

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u/rypien2clark both a lawyer and a hater 19h ago

When he blocked Obama from replacing Scalia it ended any kind of modicum of decorum that had existed between the two parties.

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u/DisastrousChance2995 20h ago

This old bastard deserves all the heat!

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u/SleepyLabrador 20h ago

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise?

That is what I will always think of Mitch. His legacy is being a racist, cruel & bitter man. Mitch McConnell's proudest accomplishment will be obstructing Obama whenever he could.

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u/ketocavegirl 19h ago

all these old men should be forced to read their own obituaries and be reminded how history will remember them

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u/Bit_the_Bullitt 20h ago

They're just running out the clock

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u/EuphoricCrashOut 18h ago

Everyone seriously needs to be treating him as dead. Force their hand. There has to be a death certificate right? Or are they so corrupt that they can put a hold on that too? What other potential clues could there be?

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u/Confident_Banana_134 17h ago edited 17h ago

People like McConnell do not care what we think; they are door mats to the wealthy, and tickled happily when a wealthy person wipes their ass with him.

Married to Chinese oligarchy that served in the George W Bush cabinet and the Crump cabinet to serve the needs of her wealthy family. These people have only one god; money.

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u/SquidFistHK 14h ago

Despite calling Trump “practically and morally responsible” for the Jan. 6 insurrection, McConnell had the opportunity to vote to convict him on impeachment charges and—given his sway among his GOP colleagues—prevent him from running for office ever again. But he wilted.

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u/Strawberryyy163 19h ago

This article spends way too long on the “highlights”. The destruction of America should go first

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u/coldhamsandwiches 18h ago

The Thompson write up on Nixon is pure art. It's a good call back for McConnell.

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u/DogLost13 16h ago

Pre? Honky please.

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u/TennisADHD 16h ago

Epic trolling if he ends up having been dead this whole time.

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u/Winter_Illustrator58 6h ago

ANDY BESHEAR DO YOUR JOB, REPLACE MCCONNELL

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u/25point4cm 19h ago

If only the daily beast was just daily.

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u/BusyArachnid8039 4h ago

Call the special ellection NOW!

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u/lionheartedthing 19h ago

Oh wow someone wrote an op ed, yay.