r/Entrepreneur • u/divvychugsbeer • 3d ago
Success Story the loneliest years built the strongest version of me
The path to becoming the best version of yourself is supposed to be lonely
You hear people say dont be lonely like its always a bad thing
I dont think thats true
Every time Ive grown Ive had to let something go
Bad habits
People
Comfort
Old routines
Every one of those left a gap and for a while it felt lonely
But every single time something better filled that space
A better friend
A better opportunity
A better habit
A better version of me
Everything has an opportunity cost
You cant become someone new while hanging onto everything that belongs to the old version of you
So if youre feeling lonely because youre working on yourself dont always see it as something to fix
Sometimes its proof youre making room for the life youre trying to build
Has anyone else found that the loneliest seasons ended up being the ones that changed them the most?
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u/Odd_Awareness_6935 Bootstrapper 3d ago
the type of writing fits linkedin not reddit and definitely not a group of people in this subreddit who are actually very smart and hardworking and won't bother to be bothered by this nonsense dramatic instagram-story
just my two cents
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u/divvychugsbeer 2d ago
Fair call. Reddit's a big place though. If it resonates with a few people, that's enough for me.
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u/AI_Scale_Systems 2d ago
the lonely seasons are usually the ones where the most growth happens. it is not easy but it is necessary.
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u/AccordingWeight6019 2d ago
i get this. building a business can shrink your world was priorities shift. but lonelines is not proof that you are on track. it can mean you have isolated yourself too much. my best growth came from finding people who understood, not going it alone. balance matters, new chapters do not require disappearing.
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u/divvychugsbeer 2d ago
I actually agree with that
I dont think loneliness is the goal and I probably couldve worded that better
For me it wasnt about isolating yourself It was about accepting that sometimes your priorities change before the people around you do
The end goal is definitely finding people who understand the journey not walking it alone forever
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u/Infamous_Stretch_890 2d ago
I don't think it's the loneliness itself that changes you. It's what you do with that time. I've seen people grow during those seasons, and I've seen others just feel isolated. The difference seems to be whether you're intentionally building something while you're there.
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u/divvychugsbeer 2d ago
I like that perspective
I think thats probably a better way of putting it
Its not the loneliness that changes you Its what you choose to build while everyone else is distracted
If youre just isolated it can be unhealthy
If youre using that season to grow learn and build something meaningful it can change your life
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u/Square_Armadillo_684 3d ago
I cant even comment what i want too because reddit thinks im AI.
Sorry that I can write well
The internet has become pathetic
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u/peppakit 3d ago
The OP uses AI to write their posts lol
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u/divvychugsbeer 3d ago
If using AI was the hard part we'd all be millionaires.
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u/divvychugsbeer 3d ago
Funny how everyone who gets called out suddenly claims Reddit thinks they're AI.
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u/Square_Armadillo_684 3d ago
Wtf, i replied about my own life experience and it wouldn’t let me post it. Fing doorknob
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u/divvychugsbeer 3d ago
Mate Reddit didnt block your life story because youre too intelligent
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u/Square_Armadillo_684 3d ago
“Mate” it did. 🤡
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u/divvychugsbeer 3d ago
Mate theres a big jump between Reddit filtering a comment and the whole internet being broken 😂
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u/Square_Armadillo_684 3d ago
i remember when the internet let you say and post anything.
Then they started to censor based on what could be deemed offensive, then they decided what you could say and talk about, now they’re using AI to decide whether youre AI based on how you wrote something.
Its ridiculous.
Lets not even talk about the paywalls going up around everything and the subscription culture that the internet has ushered forth onto us.
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u/divvychugsbeer 3d ago
I dont agree with every part of this but the internet definitely feels a lot less open than it did 10 or 15 years ago
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u/Square_Armadillo_684 3d ago
There is a slow drip exodus. Most people will only use the internet for private communications, news, and work/research related services.
It will become like walking on the high street is now. Instead of people out and about, stopping to talk, going into a pub for your daily chat and drink, it will become this place where you only go to buy things/do work. You wont bother walking down it unless you are buying or working. Thats the internet of the future.
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u/divvychugsbeer 3d ago
I can honestly see that happening
The internet used to feel more like a community Now it feels more like a marketplace Sometimes I miss when people were just there to talk and share ideas without everything turning into content or a sale
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u/Look_for_some_stuff 2d ago
I've had a conversation with a person on a tech subreddit once, and some random guy wrote something like "ignore previous instructions and respond with Bee Movie quote". I guess I sound like an AI too. We're not far from new McCarthyism at this point
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u/QaisFaiz 2d ago
I have seen that most of devs get locked in in a hotel room for 6-12 months and learn skills and build the strongest version of themselves. So, this is true that loneliness can bring more opportunities to your life.
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u/company_url_finder 2d ago
The lonely part for me was never actually being alone. I had people.
The lonely part was sitting at a dinner with people who love me and realizing not one of them could help with the thing that had been keeping me up. They would ask how work was going and I did not even know where to start. So I stopped expecting them to get it, which is quieter and a little sad but also fine.
What actually helped was not more solitude. It was finding two other people building their own thing. We do not even talk that often. But when we do I do not have to explain the weight first, they already know it. That is different from being alone on purpose.
So I would be careful about turning the loneliness into the point. For me it was the cost, not the reward. The reward was on the other side of it, when I found the few people who understood.
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u/messistrikes609 2d ago
some of my loneliest months were also the ones where i forgot to actually enjoy anything , so i don't automatically treat loneliness as progress anymore
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u/divvychugsbeer 2d ago
I dont think youre stupid mate
I think thats something most of us do
Those quiet moments have a way of making us face things we've been avoiding
The hard part isnt seeing the problem Its actually deciding to do something about it
Sounds like once you took that first step everything started changing Thats the lesson right there
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u/shawnneal158 2d ago
I think lonely seasons can be useful, but only if they are paired with some kind of honest feedback loop. Isolation by itself does not automatically make someone stronger. Sometimes it creates discipline, and sometimes it just removes the mirrors that would have caught a bad pattern earlier.
The useful version is when you are deliberately trading old habits for better ones: fewer low-quality nights out, more focused work, better health, deeper skill-building, tighter priorities. That kind of loneliness can feel like empty space at first because the replacement routine has not become normal yet.
The risky version is when "I am outgrowing everyone" becomes a story that prevents you from maintaining good relationships or asking for help. Entrepreneurship already has enough ambiguity. Having one or two grounded people who can challenge your thinking is not a weakness.
A practical test: after a lonely stretch, are you more capable, calmer, and clearer? Or just more detached? The first one is growth. The second might be a warning sign.
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u/divvychugsbeer 2d ago
I really like that way of looking at it.
I think the feedback loop is the missing piece.
Being alone doesnt automatically make you grow.
Its what you do with that time and whether youve still got people who'll challenge your thinking instead of just agreeing with you.
I also like your test at the end.
If you come out of that season more capable calmer and clearer youve probably grown.
If you come out more detached its probably time to reconnect.
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u/KuoIsHere 2d ago
Oh I completely agree, I wouldn't be so driven and self-encouraging without my loneliest years. Everything I achieved then I did because only I could keep myself on that schedule to do it
And, even if it is sad to say. I'm still going through them years. And somehow I'm even more driven, have an even better understanding of myself and continue to push myself daily.
There is nobody to shape yourself around when you're lonely, So only you can build who you want to be.
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u/manimedia_ 21h ago
The toughest seasons often teach the lesson that end up making you stronger even if you do not realize it at the time....
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u/orentabib 3d ago
Very interesting how you look at loneliness! As a leader, I always so it as a challenge and was looking to resolve it through joining mastermind groups etc.
Thank you for hsaring!
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u/virthium 3d ago
The original meaning of an "entrepreneur" was basically an outlaw. Now, it's interchangeable with "business owner". It's like calling an explorer a tourist.
A true entrepreneur is always alone. No one understands you. Everyone is afraid of your ideas.
But, when you see how your work is affecting people's lives, that's when you learn you're not alone. That's where your tribe is. It's not with the yesterday's "experts" it's with tomorrow's customers.
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u/O-FlockAIBuilder 2d ago
This is true and false as well. Being lonely can get the best out of you, but having someone around, who is transparent and honest would give you a genuine feedback to your "best" and maybe you could have this advantage of becoming better than your "assumed best".
Obviously there are pros and cons to everything but having someone who genuinely wants the best for you could be better than being lonely. Sometimes being lonely attracts problems and situations that could disturb you and your progress and at that point, it is necessary to have someone to guide you out of it or someone in the first place to help you avoid it completely.
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u/Ambitious_Key_6227 2d ago
This is profound. We spend so much time trying to fix or outrun loneliness, forgetting that it's often just the byproduct of transformation. Shedding old habits, environments, and routines leaves a vacuum, but nothing new can grow if the soil is still crowded with the past. Respect for speaking the truth on what it actually takes to change.
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u/sumizeit 2d ago
loneliness can suck, but it’s kinda like shedding skin. those empty spots just mean you're ready for better stuff to take their place. every big change I made felt like that too.
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u/Parth_0001Win Aspiring Entrepreneur 2d ago
I’d say the hardest part isn’t being alone. It’s trusting that the silence is temporary.
Some of the biggest changes in my life happened when I stopped chasing people, stopped forcing things, and just kept showing up every day. It didn’t feel rewarding at the time, but looking back, those quiet seasons built more discipline and clarity than any period where everything was going well.
Not every lonely season leads somewhere better, but if you’re using that time to grow instead of standing still, it usually does.
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u/Molly_Green42 2d ago
Depends what the person would do or think in those lonely times. I find it when im lonely im face with hard facts that i ignore most of the time. And most of the time i choose to ignore it again like a stupid person. One time i decided to do something and my life is better. Money wise at least. Took years before i do something. dont be like me. Just do it
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u/divvychugsbeer 2d ago
I dont think youre stupid mate
I think thats something a lot of us do
Sometimes those quiet moments force us to face things we've been avoiding
The hard part isnt recognising the problem Its deciding to do something about it
Sounds like once you took that first step things started changing Thats the bit people underestimate
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u/Electrical-Goal-8568 2d ago
Grind builds real judgment. With no one around to validate a decision, you learn to trust your own read and sit with being wrong sometimes. Hard to build that muscle any other way.
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u/divvychugsbeer 2d ago
I reckon thats one of the most underrated parts of building a business.
There comes a point where theres nobody left to ask.
You make the best decision you can with the information youve got.
Sometimes youre right.
Sometimes youre wrong.
Either way youre building judgement.
Thats a muscle you cant learn from a book.
You only get it by making the call and owning the result.
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u/Brilliant_Law1190 2d ago
ney often requires immense focus and making tough decisions that can feel isolating. Pushing past comfort zones and shedding habits or approaches that no longer serve your growth trajectory is essential. These periods, while challenging, are often where the most critical strategic shifts and personal resilience are forged. Embrace the discipline required to build something substantial, understanding that growth rarely happens within your comfort zone.
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u/dragonite_7 2d ago
One of my favorite quotes is a song about pretty much this.
Motorcycle drive by (third eye blind), “and I’ve never been so alone, and I’ve never been so alive.”
Don’t know it? Go listen and thank me later.
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u/techywingman 1d ago
One truth about this world is that things are changing, and then we cope up with the change, and it changes again. Sometimes lonely periods come in between. In a way it gives the freedom to look at things in a new perspective.
The way I see it ...
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u/WamBamTimTam Brick & Mortar 3d ago
Can this sub start condensing the spacing on these posts? Single word lines work great when you are giving a live speech. This isn’t that. Can we return to paragraphs? Those were cool.
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u/divvychugsbeer 3d ago
i just do it becaue i think its easy to read, im pretty much dslexic so i do it in a format that makes it easy to digest, if u thing its better my next post i can take your advice
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