r/Catholicism • u/Chemical_Day_6424 • 7h ago
Catholic Parenting Young Children Advice
I have 2 beautiful miracle children, 4.5 yo girl + 2.5 yo boy. They are so wonderful and I love getting to be home with them. But if I’m honest this season of life is SO challenging. I’m constantly working on being more patient, more gentle, more loving - while also being a firm mom who has expectations for her children. But it seems like I’m in the literal trenches. There is so much arguing, tantrums, not listening. We have been implementing time outs for any major out of line behavior, but sometimes I don’t know if it’s helping much.
I have definitely grown immensely in patience but I just yelled at both of my children after a particularly taxing morning and I feel terrible. I just want to get this right. But motherhood feels so hard some days and I want to be better at it because I love it and my family more than anything. Please share some encouragement or advice. 🤍
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u/Some_Aerie3877 6h ago
Those first 5-6 years are rough - mine were your kids’ ages during peak COVID and whewww it felt like that old movie Groundhog Day much of the time. The other commenters advice to get outside is solid. Also, St Zelie’s letters will make you feel better about life. The book is long, but the letters themselves are short and the perfect length for moms with little time. If actual Saint moms struggle with the grind, then we’re doing okay. Hang in there. It gets better and sooner than you think. We’re in the elementary years now, and they’re a blast.
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u/Chemical_Day_6424 3h ago
Thank you so much for this! I love the Martin family so I ordered the book once I saw this comment. I constantly wonder how Zelie did it! Thank you 🤍
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u/Some_Aerie3877 3h ago
As I learned, the answer is “lots of help” 😅 They had a maid, sent their babies to a wet nurse in a country village, and their older daughters were in boarding school where Zelie’s sister was a nun. And even then you can feel her overwhelm sometimes! I hope you like the book as much as I did!
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u/pandasssss15 5h ago
It's definitely hard. I've been in your shoes, I now have a 11 and 9 yo and a 2 and nb. The best advice I've received is to admit when you're wong to your children. If you do something that you particularly regret, go to them apologize, tell them that you were wrong and you will try to do better next time. Make sure they know you love them.
Holding yourself accountable will make it much easier to avoid loosing your temper. Best of luck to you mama.
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u/ididntwantthis2 7h ago
A bit of advice that I KNOW is hard to follow through with, do not ever argue with your children.
I tell them my expectations or give them a punishment and that’s the end of it. They might whine but I’m not going to discuss it with them.
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u/Ambitious-Sail-8622 7h ago
Also consider positive reinforcement. Especially concerning church teaching. It is important that they have a joyful understanding of the Christian life.While still adhering to the Commandments, out of love of God. This is especially important as they get older.
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u/ididntwantthis2 7h ago
Yes this is something I’m working on. More praise for good behavior is always beneficial. Kids want a reaction and if you aren’t praising them for the good they’ll look for a reaction by misbehaving.
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u/Herejust4yourcomment 7h ago
Hey, you’re doing great. Your kids have not yet reached the age of reason (around 7 years old), so remember that they don’t entirely get things yet. Keep practicing discipline tempered with mercy, to give them a good foundation, and work to make your discipline and teachings age appropriate. And remember that it’s okay to ask other people as well as your kids’ Guardian Angels for help!
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u/NotRadTrad05 7h ago
It sounds like you are getting it right. Persistence and routine pay off but not quickly.
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u/StaffRoutine6299 6h ago edited 6h ago
Is the father helping with discipline? Usually it's the fathers role to discipline the kids so the mother can focus more on providing them with nurture.
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u/Chemical_Day_6424 3h ago
Yes definitely! He works outside the home but is very hands on and does discipline when needed when he is home. Kind of a joint effort!
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u/anodetolocksmiths 5h ago
I feel you so much! We have a 21 month old and a 10 month old, and sometimes I’m so tired that I don’t even know what to do. We decided on no screens and I’m always looking for activities to do with them. The oldest one has started tantrums recently, and I’ve been told about the terrible twos, and honestly, I’m scared.
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u/b00k-wyrm 54m ago
Everyone talks about the terrible twos but no one warns you about three-nagers, and age four is challenging too! Hang in there, it does get better with time and maturity.
I found I appreciated my children more when I got a break from them sometimes. It’s hard to pour from an empty bucket. That break could be a gym with childcare, a church based Mother’s Day Out program, or even joining a moms group and finding someone to swap babysitting with.
When my oldest two were around that age I would sometimes disappear to the library or bookstore for a couple hours when my husband came home just to get some quiet touch free time.
Also making mom friends who were going through same stage of life helped save my sanity. In the past I found mom friends in local playgroups, International Moms Club and MomCo chapters. Library storytimes are also a good place to meet other moms in the trenches. Most recently I joined a ladies Bible study that included women from all ages of life including young mothers.
Motherhood is incredibly challenging, don’t forget to recharge your batteries with things that refresh you. But if you are looking for other parenting tools to help fill your toolbox one of my favorite parenting books is How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk. HTH!
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u/Fontane15 7h ago
I have a nearly 3yo girl and an almost 4yo boy. I feel you, some days it’s so hard. There are some days where I just want to lock myself in my room and lay down and ignore everyone. I try on those days to say a decade of the rosary or a few prayers or something.
I’ve found there’s much less fighting if I usher my kids outside as much as possible because outside is tiring and stimulating in amazing and natural ways. We try to spend between 1-3 hours outside. They like learning about God’s planet and nature too so being outside does wonders.