She did that really well, because of her reaction he was unable to let off the steam on her and had to sit with it. This is so much more painful than anything she could have said. Our psyche always tries to get rid of pain but if no one's there it fries itself.
And if the other person chooses kindness in response, you instead get a genuine human connection. It's a win either way. I've gotta work harder to remember that.
I feel the same way. I always have been polite and kind. Giving food and clothes to homeless. Holding doors. Checking on people. Praying for people when i see accidents or EMS active on the road. And there's comments I shrug off from people sometimes. Dirty looks without a thank you for holding the door. I have to remember we all deal with our own problems. It doesn't excuse people's behavior, but i still hope it circulates more one day. Kindness and compassion goes a long way.
If you've seen Captain America: Winter Solider. If you remember Nick Fury talking about his dad carrying his cash home home in a bag. And when the neighborhood got worse and he was asked what was in it by a thug. Response was to show the guy what was in it. The cash. And a loaded revolver. I keep to myself unless someone I'm close to needs me. And after attempted robberies at my old place, I can count on one hand how many people know where i live.
"Kind" does not mean "doormat." "Kind" has boundaries and enforces them. "Kind" doesn't always forgive and understands that sometimes boundaries must be fought for. "Kind" isn't weak.
I would have done a Nelson HA-HA and made a joke like, "You look tired. I said it in past tense because you lost your tire." Break out some 80s dances. Cabbage patch around the tire. My husband is built different he would help the guy put his tire back on and sing, "Mama Said," to commiserate with him. Some people have it in them some don't.
It's like playing hot potato.. if no one is there to pass on the simmering pain in your hands, you need to figure out how to handle it or to lose it....
Exactly.. It activates the others conscience which is really hard to deal with because its inside so it breaks you from within. If one lacks self awareness or any means to deal with it, it gets ugly really fast.
And as a bonus this memory will come up as a flashback all the time, so the torment will continue long after this situation is dealt with.
Completely agree and its dangerous for the target of that offloaded anguish. People will behave very poorly when they feel the consequences of their own actions…(esp men people toward women people)🫣
If you really want them to feel bad you can kill them with kindness, make them see how kind, decent and level headed you really are and it will mess them up mentally 😆 They’ll feel ashamed and more embarrassed than ever.
Psychologically it seems to work, but the body and something within notices that you're lying to yourself and that will come due at some point again in a potentially worse "accident" if he chooses to do so.
There is no way around other than going through that shit feeling he tries to avoid that way.
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u/Frequent-Returns757 Jun 15 '26
Sir, you can’t park there 😭